Threaten the above OC using an item/weapon!

Posted 6 years, 1 month ago by raihan

...from generator linked in this thread. Title's too long.

What kind of weapon though? Let's make this item generator choose! ALWAYS SET THE QUANTITY TO ONE!

The rules of this thread are very simple! It carries the rules of my previous threads!

  • Unless 24 hours have passed, you can only post every after 3 posts.
  • Please have at least 3 sentences in your reply. Although this is a crack  roleplay thread, please be literate and legible with your replies.
  • No one wants a generic reply. Rather than casually attacking the above OC, at least read a bit of their bio. Maybe checking out what their abilities are? Getting to know their personality? That's okay, as long as your replies would at least have to do something with what the above OC is.
  • Your post must include the item generated in the generator. You are free to generate another item if the item you got did not work well for good ideas.
  • Claim a post when you have a rad idea for a reply.
  • Please make your bio readable to logged in users, at least. If you were to post a locked/auth-only character, you will be skipped without your notice.
  • Although we'll be slightly violent in this thread, please refrain from actually goring the above character.
  • Rules can be changed anytime. If you do not want how this thread is currently running, please contact me at my main, @/wanco-alien!
  • Have fun!

How to Play

  • Carlotta posts
  • Damien: *gets mop from the generator* "Begone, you crazy, old woman. I swear, this will clean you and the disastrous mistakes you've done." Damien wipes Carlotta's face with a mop.
  • Cornelius: *gets chalk from the generator* "Hey, that's too rude. All she did was try to regain the peace of the city. Here's how horrible you are as a figure to teach people. You're not helping." Netto doodles on Damien's face.
  • and so on...
Summer salternate

Rain was lovely—if it wasn't basically flooding the streets. Everyone else was probably dreading going out in this downpour—not Summer, though. The only thing the puppy did was constantly blink when she felt the raindrops prick against her face; her blinking only increased when she would—unknowingly—be standing underneath the runoff that slid down each roof she and Beatrice passed.

"Beebs," Summer squeaked, gripping her hand against the elder party's. She tilted her head up, staring at the woman as she watched her open up an umbrella.

"It's cold. Why is it cold when the falling water comes?" She smiled as she listened to Beatrice's response, only stopping when she watched her expression shift. Summer's eyes traveled down to Beatrice's foot and—it's a puddle!

Summer could only tap her toes against the concrete in excitement. She loved puddles; if the pup had a choice, she would absolutely be wallowing in a puddle for days. She immediately forgot about the talk about condensation and evaporation; Summer is finally going to be in bliss.

The pup stretched out her foot, allowing her lips to curl into a smile as she tapped her toes against the miniature pool.

"Stamp, stamp, stamp," the puppy whispered, the speed of her toe tapping only increasing until she heard Beatrice speak up. While she stared the elder party directly in her eyes, the puppy inquired,

"Uhm, no...stamp stamp?"

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Fitzgerald (Human) kafkaesque

"Fucking shit! The hell did you do this time, you absolute fucking plebeian!?"

Whenever Fitzgerald opened his mouth, disaster was always going to follow suit, as he stared down a dark-haired youth and spat, "You shouldn't have spilled coffee into my purse! My bag, I mean-" It was a lie; it was definitely a purse, if the (dyed) black crocodile leather and handicraft brass zipper wasn't enough to give away the fact that this item existed to be a status symbol. "- I take this shit out for one day, and then some bitch fucking ruins it... Three hundred dollars or so, gone to waste!"

First of all, that was a pretty fucking expensive purse (assuming that he was being truthful about the cost in the first place). Second of all, he was still rich as fuck; he could still storm into the nearest designer boutique and buy a replacement, if he wanted to. Emphasis on "if he wanted to," because right now, the only thing in his eyes was an undying sense of - you guessed it - contempt.

"I'd normally make you pay it for me," growled the aristocrat with a roll of his eyes, "but... You know what?" He glanced around, seemingly oblivious to the small crowd that had started to accumulate to witness this bitchy catfight pan out. "... I think I'll make an exception this time. Because I'm nice." Ooooh, the bar is so low...

Clapping his hands together, Fitzgerald proclaimed while slinging the handles of his beloved (and ruined) purse over his shoulders, "How about... You buy me a cup of coffee? A cup of steaming hot coffee? Like the one that you bought for yourself, before you wasted all of that by spilling it on my purse..." Dude? He accidentally bumped into you? The fuck? "Trust me," he reassured the other youth in a singsong tone, "I won't spill it on you as compensation! So, how's that? Is that a good deal? I bet you have a few extra dollars up your sleeve, because I'm not paying."

You have the money, asshole. Just pay for it afterwards to further flex your wealth.

"And if you don't," he spat with a raised brow, "then... I'll hit you with this purse!" Assuming that he knew how the physics behind such an attack worked, but... Fitzgerald had his chest puffed out like a rooster ready to fight, and he wasn't going to back down anytime soon! "Yea, you heard me right! I'll hit you with that purse if you don't buy me a cup of coffee as compensation! It has a bunch of shit in it, so it'll hurt if it lands - you know!" Well then. At least that last part wasn't a stupidly placed bluff, everything else considered... Because he did have a lot of shit in that purse of his. His notepad, various sweet treats... All of that collective weight was going to at least produce an unsightly welt if the bag landed. If.


Fitzgerald gets to be a goof once and not take a threat seriously for once - as a treat. semi-quick follow-up time.

With a hum, Fitzgerald held the notepad up to his chest while he sketched the usual: songbirds. A vague suspicion emerged in his mind that his boss wanted him to sketch out those birds, guiding him towards a specialty in that particular subject later on. It was reasonable, because not a lot of people studied them as a specialty, but wait. Wait one fucking minute.

It wasn’t like the demand for songbird specialists was that high now either, was it?

Fitzgerald’s eyes traveled down to the notepad that he clutched in his hands - with the well-rendered depictions of cardinals, blue jays, and the occasional whippoorwill that adorned the pages. Holy fuck, did he want to see another whippoorwill. Sure, it entailed staying up late to an absurd time, just to see the mottled brown avians emerge from the foliage and start to make their signature hollers, but…

Their calls were hauntingly beautiful in a way. They were so different from the usual birdcall, and the young intern only wanted to see more-

“Oof!”

Fitzgerald drew his lip back into a grimace when he looked down at the vulpine creature and sniffed, “You should watch where you’re going, just saying.” Bitch? Tightly holding the notepad close to his chest, he sighed and hoped that the graphite hadn’t been smeared by his clothes. “But seriously,” he sniffed without that usual disdainful inflection, as he eyed the canine, “you can’t just look forward or around. Sometimes you have to look up-” As soon as the eggs were mentioned, Fitzgerald died inside, as… That sure explained the stickiness on his coat!

“Fucking hell - egg yolks,” growled the young man under his breath before crossing his arms and grunting, “Thanks for letting me know. I guess I can do that if you can replace my coat, or at least clean it…” Wait a minute. Fitzgerald’s brows raised when the fox pulled out a jar of cookies. Now he was interested… In getting those cookies for himself.

“Maybe,” he teased with a coy giggle as he casually crept towards the jar, “Maybe I’ll consider. What flavor are those cookies, though? I simply have to know…”

★Satsu Pinkapop

(I thought I'd get a bit goofy here and I actually got a good object to use against Fitz-)
(Ok it was supposed to be goofy but I went overboard-)

Ah, yes, another great day in the neighborhood. Satsu was out shopping in his maiden human form for some equipment to use at the shrine, as well as some foods that he crave and the town folks haven't been offering it to the shrine yet. After a few hours of looking around the market place and buying things, finallt he managed to get some bags of required needs. He's quite happy with these but as soon as he gotten off of the market area, someone bumped into him. The momentum caused him to fall over.

Upon looking up on who he was, that guy looked familiar...
Oh yeah, it was that guy he bumped into at the festival. Guess it's switched up this time, huh. What worse is that a few items was ruined by the fall, take the packs of eggs for example... Satsu looks at the supplies thoroughly then sighed, getting up with the few other bags that wasn't ruined “Excuse me...I know this kind of sound demanding in a way, but could you maybe...buy me back those eggs? Sensei is going to be mad at me if I didn't get back with any...” And knowing Fitzgerald, he isn't going to do it, is he?

Back then he kinda feel bad when he bumped into Fitz, but now he felt humiliated. The deity's aggressive and hot-headed nature came into light as he intolerably pulls out a jar of cookie and hold it with one hand while snapping at the other “Look, I was out of coins since that time I bought you dozens of cookies. You better help me with this in return or this jar of cookie is going into your head."

Saffron (Glory Days) salternate

"Oh, darling! It's so lovely to see you awake! It's still a tad late, but my goodness, you were zonked out!" the feline cooed, shuffling in the room and allowing her eyelashes to flutter. Saffron tilted her head to glance behind her, watching a dark-furred kitten peeking through the door.

"Oh, Clyde! Did you want to give our guest some water? Come to mama," Saffron cooed, continuing to watch the kitten before turning to face the kitsune.

"He's just a little shy...he always is around new people. He's never been around a dog before. Please, be nice to him. I'll be right back," she chuffed before shuffling out of the room. After she returned in the room, she tilted her head over to Clyde, who was now presenting a brightly-colored cup to Satsu.

"Thank you, dear. Now, go to your room and you may watch some T.V." she chuffed at the child, watching him squeal in excitement before scurrying out of the room. After she lifted up the thermometer, she began pulling it closer to Satsu's lips.

"Oh, come on, don't fight me. It was awfully cold out there, I want to make sure you aren't feeling icky. Please, just cooperate..." Eventually, the feline succeeded in shoving the thermometer in the vulpine's lips, waiting before he pulled it back out. After she stared at it, Saffron allowed her grin to grow.

"Oh, goodie, your temperature is normal! Here, I can let you stay here overnight. I'll make sure you get some breakfast, and then you'll be on your way!"

Skinner (Human) kafkaesque

I'm.... gonna spoiler my response since it maaaaaaay be formatted as long. who knows!! Skinner also isn't really the type to be threatening overt violence, so I do apologize if it's a bit subtle/muddled gbgbbtebedd-

For a moment, Skinner fiddled with the soda can that he had reserved for himself - though his glance remained on the can, also filled with soda, that he had offered to the young feline. That soda better not be going flat, or else… He did still look like someone out of his element, though, as he gave the can a quick sip before folding his hands together and grinning at the other rather sheepishly.

“In all honesty,” he admitted while thumbing the cool aluminum, “I probably shouldn’t be… Too surprised that you’re getting along rather well with my wife. She likes cats, you know. Adores them, really. You should’ve heard her a few days ago - begging me for a cat because she wanted someone to keep her company.” He paused for a moment before taking another sip, then pointing a hand at himself. “Or… Well… Something, for that matter. The cat itself isn’t sapient, and it’d be irrational to think that it is.”

“But if I have to be truthful,” the middle-aged man confessed further, “I mostly declined because she’s already distracted with those fossils. She literally can’t live without them, but that might be due to her southern blood. It’s not proper, though. A rich woman like herself should be focusing on actually lucrative occupations, if you get my gist?” Another pause. Skinner looked over at the peppy feline and cocked his head. In a way, it almost seemed… Strange that the bashful, almost temperamental Brown was able to mesh with someone with the exact opposite personality of hers.

Then again, she did love her cats.

Heaving out a sigh, Skinner wrung his hands together before huffing, “The same should extend to her associates, as environment is the strongest determinant of someone’s behavior. Treat someone well for doing something, and they’ll be more inclined to do it in the future. It’s basic logic, really. I just hope that you think of that whenever you speak with her.” He paused for a moment. “She’s a good woman. Her aberrations do show sometimes, but she has promise. I just need to guide her in the right direction…” he muttered before glancing at the soda cans again.

“I mean this in the sense that you should be treating her properly,” he insisted with a wave of his hands, “Don’t smother her with affection, but don’t treat her like some dog either… Well, ignoring the fact that you’re romantically involved with one- But I mean figuratively. In the condescending way.” Which was… Really fucking bold of him to advise considering that he couldn’t follow his own advice. It wasn’t rational by any means, and yet… “Maybe a better metaphor is treating her like an empty soda can,” Skinner stated while lifting up his can and giving it a quick shake, “like… Rubbish. I think it’d be a shame if she’d have to toss you aside like one because you did that first…” What the fuck did that mean?

Still, Skinner’s visage remained as perpetually (and almost painfully) bright as ever, as he sniffed with a grin, “Not that I doubt your abilities, of course! I just want you to know, since you seem to be a friend of hers. Don’t worry too much about it, and you’ll pass just fine. Like soda itself, you seem sweet. It’s just that too much sugar is always going to lead to irrationality, even if it’s a real whopper of a reward, yes?”


I can personally affirm that allergies are the worst fucking inconvenient shit to ever exist. quick follow-up time.

“It’s not my fault that I didn’t know that I’m allergic to-” Skinner protested before flinging his hand out at what seemed to be a vase of flowers… Real flowers, mind you. For once, maybe he deserved pity, because dying inside from allergies was objectively pretty fucking miserable. “I didn’t know I was allergic to that until now! So give me some space now, will you! I’m an aristocrat; you need to give some respect.”

Smell that? That’s classism. Hope your wife kicks your ass-

Wait one fucking second.

He sighed before continuing to whine, “Besides… You don’t even have tissues! What am I supposed to use - my shirt? I’m not going to risk marring something as reasonable as that with my… Mucus!” Skinner coughed into the crook of his sleeve before standing himself up to his full height and giving the feline a strained grin.

Maybe this was payback for the time he gave his wife’s stuffed cat up to some stranger pursuing him? She did like her cats, after all. Maybe that was why she referred him to the little coven of felines, in some distant land…

Or maybe she just wanted to get rid of him for a bit. Who fucking knows!

Waving snot-covered fingers around, Skinner then retorted in between barely stifled sneezes, “So, if you don’t want me to get these digits on your desk, and I don’t want to place them on my shirt… Where else am I supposed to put them? I-” He broke off when he spotted the feline pad off, then return with a box of handkerchiefs just moments later. Served you right for being a dumbass. Skinner still hesitated for a moment before taking out a handkerchief and blowing his nose into it. Ouch!

“Don’t bring my daughter into this, by the way,” he told her with a huff, “but… Just to make things clear, maybe you should get rid of those flowers if you don’t want something like this to happen again. Just saying!”

Esmeralda salternate

"Gah! How disgusting!" Esmeralda gasped, furrowing her eyebrows in disgust as she glared at Skinner's hands. Her blank, white scleras focused on the elder party, continuing to leave her lips parted.

"No, no, no! You are not rubbing those disgusting hands on my desk! This desk was made with top-quality wood, by the most talented carpenters in Oxbury. You are absolutely not getting those snot-covered fingers all over my stuff."

Upon completing her sentence, Esmeralda walked away, her heels clicking against the wood until she arrived in front of a bookshelf. After she lifted up a box of handkerchiefs, she began to make her way over to Skinner.

"If I find a single one of your vile bodily fluids on my prized possession, you'll be pushing up daisies. Use a damn tissue like an adult," the spirit spat, slamming the box on top of her desk before crossing her arms.

"You are not a child anymore. You should know better, considering that you're an aristocrat and a father. Your little infant may be able to get away with it because she's still learning, but you're an adult! Unbelievable! If you want me to treat you like an adult, you better act like one! Ask for a tissue instead of using your hand; it's not rocket science!"

--------------

NP, Esmeralda is already dead and this is her spirit, but don't make that stop you!

Kuraru Golden-Bloomy

(Oh god I got a perfect thing to threaten people with in general and something he actually has in his pocket)

If anything, Kuraru absolutely hates bugs, darkness and ghosts(because you know...). It's not that they're scary, no, of course! Why would be be scared if he could just use bug repellence, turn on the light and literally kill a ghost twice if possible? Okay, sure, he doesn't really have a tactical way to handle ghosts. Most effective ability to do so, if you will. He can't just nuke the whole city just to deal woth ghosts, right? So he just carry something that might help him with, perhaps it would.

And what an unlucky day it is, Kuraru encountered a ghost of a thief, a crass one too...or so it seem. But what took him to debate with himself is the fact that the ghost is indeed, a ghost of a cat. Usually, he would just getbit over with and 'exorcise' the ghost, but this one, it's a cat! Who could possibly hurt a cat without thinking twice? He know he couldn't. Sure, he doesn't like ghosts very much, but he absolutely love cats and for that matter, he concluded that he won't hurt Esmeralda. Although he still need to do something about this- he still dislike havinf ghosts around.

And so, he reached into his pocket and takes out a ritual Knife. Holding it against the cat spirit, pointing at her but not quite how anyone would do to start a fight. Just...threatening position. Kuraru acts tough, glares at Esmeralda with the knife in his hand and spoke in his usual cold and monotone voice. "...I'm giving you a chance. Get away from here now, or you will regret staying." But of course, he wouldn't actually hurt her. Unless she decided to attack him, that is...

M. Pourife (Human) kafkaesque

In a way, M. Pourife almost wanted to welcome the other party with open arms, without any sort of questioning or doubt whatsoever. After all, those folded ears and pale, washed-out purple reminded him of a familiar Kalosian species... Something that reminded him of home! He chuckled under his breath while reveling in this morsel of nostalgia that he had secured for himself - as he could only think with the slightest smile, An Espurr... An Espurr combined with a human... Unusual, huh? And then... It hit him, and his muscles tensed. Ambivalence.

Was his newfound wariness for better or for worse? You decide.

Either way, the older man blinked for a moment as he stood there looking rather stunned, before coughing into his sleeve and admitting, "Listen... Sir... What are you doing here, um, this late at night anyways? Do you know about the 'dragon's breath' legend? Not that you should be drinking up such folktales, especially with your impressionable mind, but..." He shook his head and explained, "Essentially, ever since Team Plasma tried to take over Unova centuries ago, the extreme northern half of Unova has been afflicted with this meteorological phenomenon that makes it more vulnerable to cold spells, especially late at night. They used to be so cold that being exposed to them could be lethal - but now, with so many centuries gone by, the worst it can do is give you the chills... Does... Does that make sense?"

Regardless of the answer offered by the teenager, though, that stare sure didn't help. And a blank stare too! It sent shudders down M. Pourife's spine, even though he was well-aware of the fact that this was typical for Espurr; after all, as a Kalosian man at heart, he should be knowing this since this reminded him of home, and yet- Ambivalence, sir. Ambivalence.

"That asides," the middle-aged man huffed with a slight frown visible underneath his dorky mustachioed face, "you should explain yourself. As to why you are out here so late at night - in spite of the curfew - and why you want to be at my lab..." He paused before scratching his chin. "It... It is not for the coffee now, huh?" And M. Pourife was probably bullshitting this on the spot, as he could detect the faintest whiff of coffee emanating from the younger party's hair. Sure, it wasn't enough to detract from the usual smog, or the biting cold, and yet...

"It is not even that good, but... Just to let you know, sir... If you dare try using those powers on me, the computer monitor behind me will record what you have done. Then, I or one of my interns will pass the footage to the authorities, and they will not hesitate to have you arrested. Do you understand? All of this is legal. I have plenty of security cameras surrounding my laboratory for the sake of security, you know..."

It was, in turn, the question of security that made M. Pourife wince and cough into his sleeve before adding with the slightest stammer, "... Not that I should be considering a teenager a threat, but... I will have to close the door on you if you do not, um, explain yourself... Is that understood? Do you understand?" Just in case.


this is.... so sweet..... M. Pourife doesn't die inside for once, through a follow-up!!

It didn’t even need to be a “real” threat for M. Pourife to implode, huh?

The scientist could only stare at the creature with what was likely horror and fear in his eyes, as he took a soft step back and let out a huff. A resigned huff, to be more specific. His gaze slowly shifted to the floor beneath them, completely steady yet feeling shaky for whatever reason.

Maybe it was his legs. It was definitely his legs. Not only was he dreading what was to come next, but the middle-aged man was also well-aware that the strength in his legs wasn’t exactly… Symmetrical, per se?

It was difficult to explain, really.

He coughed into his sleeve before grinning sheepishly at his supposed opponent and stammering, “Well… Ummm… If you do not want to inflict harm upon me, then how about you do not do it in the first place? I think it would be a great benefit for the both of us now, would you find that agreeable?” A resounding yet shaky laugh could be heard escaping from his lips… Then another step back. Of course it was another step. This was a life-or-death situation, so-

“Oh?” M. Pourife was quick to utter when the loaf of bread was brought up. The warm, baked scent immediately reminded him of… Home. The good parts of home, at least.

It reminded him of when he was a boy and didn’t have to worry about politics or aristocrats. Just… Doing well in school, impressing his friends…

After a full minute, the middle-aged man coughed into his sleeve and started to smile more earnestly as the admittedly peaceful offer was made. An opportunity to rest? And eat? For free! Fuck yea! (Well, weird diction aside, that was…)

“Of course!” he exclaimed with a beaming grin as he eyed the slices, then took a step forward like a pigeon expecting food, “Please do! I have plenty of time for that!” Maaaaaaaybe. Suuuuure.

Vodovorot Kolo

"The greatest of tidings to you, mortal!" Vodo's smile is pleasant, warm, calm. "Though I fear that the tidings I bring may not be of the brightest of times. I have been informed I must 'threaten' you, though for what purpose, I was not told. However, I find myself an odd choice for such thus task, for I do abhor the act of violence. The whims of the others do elude me at times, I admit! And stranger still, I was given this with which to intimidate you with!"

Vodo holds out his hands. In them is a loaf of bread - freshly baked, warmth emanating from it. After a pause, in which all parties involved have sufficiently observed the very innocuous loaf, Vodo snaps his fingers. A table and chair appear beside them, and he pulls out the chair, offering it towards M. Pourife.

"Upon being gifted such a strange weapon, I pondered - perhaps it was meant to be a test of sorts? And it occured to me that perhaps to 'threaten' was not to be taken as literally as it may seem...!" he pulls two slices of bread free, "thus, I posit this question unto you: would you perhaps enjoy a small rest and a sandwich, for one as busy as you?"

Stephanie salternate

This is chaotic, aaa. Spoilerized for violence; Steph attempts to choke poor Vodovorot, I'm sorry

"I...eh...what? What?" Stephanie whispered, visibly confused at what Vodo was telling her. She blinked rapidly, pushing herself up and staring at the bipedal creature's spiraling irises. She scooped up her lace, pushing herself up as she began to make her way over to him. Furrowing her eyebrows at the creature, Stephanie allowed her lips to smack before she wrapped the white lace around the back of Vodo's neck.

"Vodovorot, hm? Are you from here?" the teenager chuffed, walking around him and keeping her grip on the lace.

"In case you didn't know, most people tend to...not like aliens. Who knows what kind of nasty experiments they would do to you? We wouldn't want that to happen, won't we?" Stephanie felt her expression soften, beginning to feel a pang of guilt. In an attempt to return to her tougher state, the teenager added:

"Oh, but imagine what would happen to me if I happened to turn you in! I'll be on news outlets everywhere! People are going to love me, and praise me from stopping an alien invasion. My uncle might even give me a pat on the head, or maybe a hug..." Allowing her eyelashes to furrow, Stephanie began to pull the lace, tightening her grip as it pressed against Vodovorot's neck. However, she had the lace wrestled out of her hands by him. Her pupils dilating, Stephanie stared at Vodo in shock before shifting her gaze to the lace, which is now scrawled on the floor. After she bit her lip, Stephanie stepped back before fleeing from the scene.

Johnson (Human) kafkaesque

The assortment of dishes that he had set on the dining room table was enough to make it seem like Johnson was preparing a banquet... But the reality couldn't be any further from that. In fact, he only had one guest with him tonight, and it just so happened to be the teenager whom his wolfish friend menaced and threatened to beat up not too long ago. Maybe actually beaten up? Johnson wasn't one to judge; he had been in the same situation when it came to Brown multiple times, and - in fact - one of his arms stung slightly from a laceration she had given him with that damn dagger of hers a few days ago.

For now, though, he was going to focus on flexing his power and wealth, as he droned to the teenager, "I hope that you know that you're a very, very lucky young woman. Young lass, in fact, but I'm willing to elevate you for the sake of this discussion. You want to know why?" He paused for a moment for the girl to fill in with her answer, but... Did it matter? Regardless of what she uttered (if at all), Johnson huffed, "I happen to have just what you need to make sure that... Blonde girl gets torn down. I don't care if it's physical or literal, but you know..."

"You know very well that she's basically protected by the Wolf, right? Brown? She's formidable as hell. I don't think you'd be able to win on your own, unless you wanted to beat her in a competition in teenage hamartia or some shit like that."

"I know it'll go over your head right now," sighed Johnson as he picked at a roasted pheasant wing with a fork, "and it might if you keep up with that attitude of yours, but... I'm not going to beat around the bush. I'll have to admit that I see you as just the tiniest bit useful. Yes, you heard me correctly, miss. Useful." Another pause. Only a clink could be heard from Johnson's fork as he picked at the meat, then carefully chopped it up into small shreds. "I mean it in the form of an alliance. I don't want to be friends with you. I might as well be stupid if I want to be friends with you, let alone any teenager." Wow, way to throw your not-daughter under the bus- "Unless I have a very, very good reason for it."

Sure.

Still, even that momentary blunder wasn't enough to make Johnson flinch or waver, as he droned, "So keep that in mind while you eat this food, okay? And no, you do have to eat at least some of it. Just because it's decadent doesn't mean that it's somehow going to fatten you up like a hog getting ready for slaughter." And, conveniently enough, there was a whole roast hog in the exact center of the table! Hope it didn't go to waste. "I'll be disappointed if that's the case, miss. You know that I'm an aristocrat, right? Slights against me are something I take seriously. What do you think happens to the journalists who dare to blab those libelous thoughts against me, huh?" Again, he paused, before starting to laugh with almost uncharacteristic enthusiasm.

"That asides! I won't do such a thing to you," he snorted with a scoff, "I'm not that cruel!" Suuuuuuuuuuuure. Johnson gesticulated with his hand and hissed, "Instead, I can use my archives and record to my advantage. Medical histories included. And I might as well be infusing everything you eat with milk, just in case... Or dousing your hair in it... You know that milk is good for the hair, right? Better than shampoo? Less chemicals. I try it myself, you know." Yet the facetious tone suggested that he was being an asshole, and... Good for him? He didn't deserve to put milk in his hair if what he said was even true anyhow.


gonna use young Johnson here since Cashmere only really exists in that era!!

anyways. follow-up time. who knew that Johnson actually gave a shit about his wife in the end (/s).

“Respect?” Johnson repeated before letting out a slight huff, “Are you sure you mean respect, miss, or…” Which he did mean, by the way! He had no idea how she had made such a logical leap in assuming that he, out of all the aristocrats she had supposedly met, actually gave a damn about her existence.

If anything, he was probably the quickest to condemn her to the title of “mediocre.”

Or “melancholic.” That title was even worse in his eyes, after all! He might as well call her that, then kick her out of the house without any further explanation- Which was rather rude! But he thought of it as well-deserved in all honesty. Wow.

Imagine being that entitled.

He rolled his eyes as she applied lip gloss in the mirror, nodding along to how she was busy- Yada yada yada… The youth furrowed his brow before stretching himself in his recliner and just… Wanted to doze off. That was a first. Usually, he tried at least barely listening to the other’s words, lest he miss something that could’ve been useful for him; alas, this was all nonsensical jibber-jabber, and Johnson could only ask himself why his wife had bothered to hire her in the first place. He probably thought she had shitty taste. Ew.

“Whatever,” he grunted, “for someone so busy, you sure do waste a lot of time idling anyways. So I might as well get to the point and-” He was interrupted when he heard a chattering noise coming from nearby. Oh shit. Oh fuck. Johnson peered over his shoulder to see Cashmere starting to wake up and realize that he was utterly surrounded by the canine’s makeup. For a stupidly long time, the ferret creature just stared at her, before doing the one thing he knew how to do at the moment:

Scream.

Also bolting as soon as the canine registered his presence, as he screamed even more loudly and jumped off the stand while the canine barked at him. Hoo boy, was Smith going to be upset when she saw this! And worst of all, Johnson wasn’t even going to help Cashmere. He was just going to lay back and-

“Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit.”

Reddish liquid had started to pool at Johnson’s shoes as he glared at the canine barking at the ferret and hissed, “That’s my wife’s pet, you idiot! You might as well leave him alone, or he’s going to keep screaming! She doesn’t like it when he screams, you know!” And that was going to be the first and last time he gave a single shit about Smith’s wellbeing. Wowie! “Yea, I’m surprised it’s not an intruder too,” he muttered at the canine’s apology before getting back up to his feet and kicking the bottle off to the side.

“You better, though. Just to repay things a bit, I guess.” Ouch.

Kyandī salternate

Very cursed idea on the way in this episode of revival time! Claiming kafkaesque!

"Hm, I've run into quite a bit of aristocrats, but I think that you're one of the only ones who regarded me with respect!" Kyandī stated with a chuckle. The canine paused to use a couple of fingers to hold her jowls upwards, examining herself in the mirror before lifting up her lip gloss and slathering it on her lips. After she finished, Kyandī let go of her snout and allowed her lips to smack.

"You know, as I said earlier, I've got a fairly tight schedule today, so I can't talk for long," the canine continued, simultaneously twirling the miniature tube around in her fingers.

"So, what did you need from me? You've never specified in your...in...your..." Kyandī abruptly stopped speaking, distracted by a clattering noise she heard in the background. Kyandī flattened her ears, slowly slinking behind Johnson so that she could investigate. After gasping in shock upon discovering a Furret scurrying around, Kyandī abruptly began barking at it. She tossed her lip gloss behind her, preparing to apprehend Cashmere. However, she abruptly halted upon hearing Johnson, turning her body around to glance at the man. Apparently she hadn't closed her gloss all the way, because there was now a scarlet puddle pooling onto poor Johnson's shoes.

"Oh, uh, my bad! I thought that was...an... intruder," Kyandī stated, maintaining her guilty expression as she cautiously approached the second party. She bent down to pick up the tube, this time ensuring that the lid was screwed on tightly.

"Here, let's get you cleaned up, then we can continue talking, mmmyes?"

Walker (Human) kafkaesque

I don't think my response is particularly long, but I'm still spoilering this since there are mentions of graphic violence/gore in the response!! they don't actually happen, but they're still described to some degree, so toggle at your own discretion!!

“You-” started Walker almost frantically before straightening her posture and crossing her arms. Though she fluttered her lashes in a rather demure fashion, there was no compassion underneath them; in fact, the only emotions she felt at the moment were shock, and perhaps a tiny hint of rage, as she hissed while carefully pointing at the canine, “What are you doing here? I thought I told my husband to get rid of you!” Her lip twitched before she shook her head again, then glanced out at the hallway.

Surely, he had to be here somewhere if he somehow invited her in the house (whether it be through a blunder or a calculated decision), so she called out to him, “Smithson! Get over here! There is a canine in my study! Oh goodness, oh goodness, oh goodness- Smithson! Please, for goodness’s sake, get over here!”

There was nevertheless no use denying the fact that she was getting more and more frantic with each passing word, for she started to comprehend the possibility that maybe he wouldn’t arrive here on time? Or what if he wasn’t even home!? She had been away in her study reading up on metallurgy for an hour or two now; maybe he took it as an opportunity for him to conduct a quick negotiation? Walker’s lip curled back into a snarl, even though she was aware that the other wasn’t exactly a threat to her… At least in the physical sense. The other couldn’t bash her skull in or slit her throat, but…

She, for fuck’s sake, still reminded her of someone very familiar, very visceral- Would she even be surprised if the two turned out to be similar? Or associated, in fact? Hell no!

But then again, Walker had to remind herself, the other was a singer. A musician. Or so she thought, at the very least? Walker found herself calming down enough to glance over at the dresser she occasionally used to touch herself up before leaving the study, then back at the intruding canine. Though the pace of her breathing still made it feel like her lungs were hammering against her ribs, the middle-aged woman at least regained some composure, as she was gradually able to exhale:

“As for you, miss, you might as well get out of this room right now. You know that it is rude to intrude into someone’s study, especially without knocking first? I recommend that you take those pink paws of yours out of here, or…”

Her focus shifting to a handheld mirror near her, Walker eventually hissed, “... Or I will smash this mirror on your head. It would serve you right for focusing so much on yourself and how you look. To the point of disregarding others and how they feel…” Gee, someone must be projecting. Walker shook her head and even thumbed the handheld mirror in question while continuing to glare at the other. “My husband and I told you before that we are not accepting you into our parties, and we are not going to anytime soon. But I do doubt that anyone else would if they found out there were glass shards embedded in your fur and skin. Just saying… It does look a bit unsightly, after all.”


NP maaaaay get a follow-up if I have the time!!