Be Yourself

"Honestly, the nerve of that guy, preaching to us as if we were new to teaching."
Chanse smiled awkwardly while scratching his cheek with his index finger. "I mean, we're technically still new to i-"
"We've been teaching for YEARS!"
"O-Only a few. C'mon, Terry didn't mean any harm."

He recalled the events that lead Hope to yell at him over the phone, something that happened earlier that week. They were both in the Teacher's Lounge preparing for their classes to arrive. Hope had opened the cabinet to scowl at the "World's Best Teacher" mug that taunted him inside it.
"World's best teacher," he mocked and looked at Chanse abruptly. "He's the worst teacher, if you ask me. All he ever does is nap during class and let his students go haywire. I bet he only got that Teacher of the Year award because he's been here long enough to get connections with the staff."
"No, it's because you two still aren't really teachers."
Where Chanse jumped at Terry's sudden appearance, Hope merely turned to glower at him. "Aren't really teachers?" he mused.
The older man plodded across the room and tiredly got his mug out of the cabinet, ignoring the venomous glare feet away from him. "The new ones always put in too much effort, trying too hard to get the kids to like them THEN learn. I'm sure neither of you realize what you're like in front of your class."
"Just what are you insinuating?"
"I'm saying to record yourselves next time you teach," Terry said bluntly while filling his mug with his fifth cup of coffee. "You both are completely different in front of your students, trying to be this optimistic, all-knowing friend. Kids pick up on that. The reason you get rowdy kids is because they want to know what you're really like." He stirred some sugar into his mug and took a sip as he looked at the two.
"Try being yourselves for once."

"Be ourselves. How pretentious!" Hope hissed on the phone. "I bet he'd shut up if he knew just how deep my connections are."
"I think Prodigal would kick you out if you gave them away just to get back at Terry," Chanse laughed lightly. The weather felt great. Not too hot, not too cold, just a perfect blend. If he glanced up he could see the seagulls all flying around lazily, dancing to the waves of the sea underneath them.
"Hey Hope."
"Hmm?"
"... I need to go."
"Oh. Okay. I would've let you talked more if I'd known you were busy. Call you tomorrow."
Chanse listened to the repetitive beep that signaled Hope hanging up. There was so much he wanted to say, but no matter how many times he thought about it he could never find the courage to spill it. He slowly lowered the phone as he gazed down from the pier to the waters.
It was a beautiful day.
But it would never be perfect without her.

"Don't you have anything... I don't know, less?" Terry mumbled as he gazed at the bottle of cologne he was handed.
"Non!" Valentine replied cheerfully besides him. They both were walking down the pier that overlooked the beach, a suggestion made by the Cupid. He wanted to test out his newest cologne and see if it in action, but Chanse hadn't shown up in a while and Terry was very reluctant about it. "It will be good, yes? You will find love, mi amor! Ah~! And we will be able to cover the smell of burritos and coffee!"
"If they can't love me for that smell then maybe I shouldn't be with them to begin with," griped the smaller man. He was just about to open the bottle when he spotted a figure at the end of the pier. "Hey, isn't that...?" They both hesitated as they recognized Chanse at the end, but before either of them could say anything they saw him fall into the water. Both men rushed to the end to gaze down at the water.
"Mon dieu! What is he doing?!" Valentine gasped while grabbing his cheeks in concern.
"I wouldn't worry too much about it. A guy like him? He's probably trying to get something an old lady dropped," Terry murmured. He expected Chanse's head to pop up any minute now with that kind smile of his, but seconds passed that not even a bubble rose. Each second felt like an hour, and with each one that passed Terry began to feel more and more chills down his back. Something was starting to feel wrong. How long had it been already? Twenty seconds? Thirty? That was a little long, wasn't it? Why hadn't his head come up?
Terry moved without thinking, throwing himself off the pier with Valentine's cries behind him. He put his hands together and in front of him to break the impact of the water as he plunged inside. As the bubbles disappeared, he spun around more and more to look for Chanse's body. Underwater he clenched his jaw. Less than ten seconds and already his lungs felt like they were on fire, he couldn't imagine being here for a minute.
Suddenly, he saw him. A body floating underwater, freely allowing the currents to take him. Terry swam as fast as he could, reaching out and grabbing his arm, putting it over his shoulder as he hooked his other arm around the waist and swam up. He got both of their heads out of the water, gasping for air. Chanse wasn't responding.
Terry swam towards the shore where some people were starting to crowd; Valentine met them halfway in the water to help shift the weight. As soon as they were on land Terry didn't rest, dragging Chanse further up and pressing his hands against his chest.
"No, no, no, no! Don't do this!" he breathlessly begged as put all his weight into the manual pumps. One. Two. Three. He grabbed Chanse's face and breathed into his mouth before going straight back to his chest.
One. Two. Three!
Breathe.
One! Two! Three!
He felt a bone crack.
Breathe.
One! Two! Three!
Why wasn't it working?!
Just as Terry felt all hope about to go, Chanse coughed up water. Terry's eyes widened. He was breathing again, but he wasn't awake.
"Chanse!" he practically cried as he grabbed the man's shoulders and started shaking desperately. "Chanse!" He kept calling out his name, begging him to wake up. He could hear an ambulance nearby but he wouldn't let go, not until he was sure he was alive.
Finally, Chanse blearily opened his eyes.
Terry felt himself relax. "Thank God he's alive! Chanse!"
"Terry?"

Chanse sat in the hospital bed, gazing out the window. Valentine sat besides him, having spent the last few hours talking to him and trying to find out why he did what he did, but he dodged with vague answers. The Cupid eventually gave up and settled with messaging Philip new work hours, wanting to spend more time around the teacher and make sure he was okay. Funny, though. Was he really okay? Chanse stared at the sun setting on the sea, the seagulls flying lazily overhead like nothing had happened. If he closed his eyes long enough he could still see Eloise. You'll stay strong. How long would that last? He asked himself that as soon as he arrived in the hospital.
The door opened and both he and Valentine turned to see Terry. He had finished being checked up by the doctor, only being told that his body had a bruise here and there but was mainly exhausted from going past its limits. But he didn't care. His eyes were focused on the man resting in bed. There was a deep frown on his face.
"Terry-"
Before Chanse could say anymore the older teacher strode across the room and slapped him. Valentine quickly got out of his seat in surprise.
"WERE YOU SO CONVINCED THAT YOU WERE ALONE THAT YOU WOULD RESORT TO THAT?!" Terry yelled. Both men stopped to look at him, his expression was angry with the slightest gleam of tears in his eyes. "You hadn't been in a relationship for so long that you were so easily willing to throw away your life? Were you so lonely that you forgot about your friends?! Your goddamn students?! Were you so desperate that you'd resort to anything?!"
"And what would you know about any of it?!" Chanse fired back. He turned his head to glare at the man, pain full in his broken eyes. "I've been in love TWICE and both times they left me too soon! I was abandoned! And everyone else? Everyone else is finding their true love! Starting families and getting their happy endings! But what about me?! What's left for the side character, right?!"
Terry was quiet for a moment before narrowing his eyes. "You're right," he started softly. "I wouldn't know anything about that kind of pain. I've never fallen in love with anyone, so I wouldn't know how it feels." Chanse furrowed his eyebrows and looked away until he heard the teacher speak up again.
"But it's because of that that I've been able to observe all the relationships around me. I've seen fairytale relationships like you've mentioned, but I've also seen ones that weren't even meant to last. I've noticed a trend in people lately, a loneliness that eats away at them. It gets so strong that they start searching for anyone that will take them. They don't think about who's best for them or even themselves, because they want to believe that the person who says they love them will instantly get rid of their problems." He paused. "Death is the worst way to get out of that loneliness. If you really want to get out of it then start finding out who you are. The moment you figure out how to be whole, you'll be able to see things completely different.
"Be yourself for once."
With that, Terry walked out of the room.
"Mon dieu," Valentine mumbled after a silent minute. "I have never seen him so angry."
"... That wasn't anger," Chanse muttered, the expression still clear in his mind. "It was disappointment."

A month had passed since then. The lunch bell rang and all the students hurried to the cafeteria, leaving Terry alone in his classroom. He sighed and leaned back in his seat, gazing up at the ceiling. He hadn't spoken to Chanse ever since then. How exactly could he? Poor guy tried to commit suicide and what did he do? Smack him then give him Buzzfeed-level relationship advice. Relationship advice coming from a guy with little to no experience. Just great.
He sighed again. Well... maybe he'd better try to bury the hatchet. Probably offer to buy him lunch or... He didn't know, let the guy slap him back. Tiredly climbing to his feet, Terry walked down the classroom to Chanse's. The door was still open. He stepped into the door frame and was just about to knock on the door when he noticed said teacher speaking to one student that stayed behind for a lesson. Terry blinked as he observed. Chanse was... different. He was more relaxed and calm, and the student seemed to be more responsive to it.
When their small lesson ended, the student ran off with a gleeful smile on their face. Chanse waved them off before noticing the other teacher. "Oh! Hi," he said awkwardly.
"Well I'll be," Terry smirked. "That's the first time I saw you instead of your teaching persona in the classroom."
"Yeah, I decided to take some of your advice," Chanse replied with a timid smile as he made his way over to him. "I try to hide a lot of things with a happy smile but in the end all I was doing was bottling it up and waiting for it to overwhelm me." He looked down at his hand, still remembering that voice. "I'll be strong," he said softly, clenching his fist. He lowered it and smiled at Terry. "But I need to remember myself too."
Terry smiled at him. "Spoken like a true teacher."