A Troubled Reign

“Bye!” Leon waved at the lieutenant.

“I’ll be back in a bit!” Emil turned and winked from the door to the stairway. “Ciao~”

“Wait!” Everyone turned to look at Roxie. “Don’t you need to leave someone in charge?”

Emil looked confused. “I… I think you guys’ll be okay without supervision, but if you really want me to leave someone in charge. Let’s see…” He scanned the kitchen. “Rookie!”

“Me?” Leon felt as if he’d won the lottery.

“Yeah. I’m countin’ on you to keep these ducks in a row.” Emil winked again. “Ciao~” He left this time.

“Leon has been crowned our new king!” announced Roxie.

“Emil just left me in charge for a few minutes.”

“Big Brother.” Angelo tugged on his sleeve, suddenly appearing from nowhere. Or probably the boxes in the corner. “If you’re king, can I be your royal guard?” He asked softly. “I promise t-to lock up any dissenters.”

“What?? No! I-I think I’ll be okay, Ángie.”

“Let him lock up the dissenters!!” Roxie cheered.

“No! No locking up of dissenters. My reign is not about locking up dissenters, it’s about…What is it about?” Leon stopped to think. “It’s about peace and love in space!”

“Woo.” Jun raised a fist in the air.

“Don’t ‘woo’ him.” Aiden sneered. “Look at how quickly he went from ‘I’m just in charge for a few minutes,’ to ‘my reign.’ The power’s obviously going to his head. It’s only a matter of time before he starts siccing his guard dog on us.” He turned to Roxie. “And you’d be the first one to go. For unauthorized pinching or whatever.”

“Noooo, I don’t wanna lock up Roxie.” So much for Leon’s royal guard.

“No one’s getting locked up!” Leon felt himself rapidly losing control of the situation.

Roxie leaned toward Angelo. “What if I give you a bribe?” 

“Deal!”

Aiden shook his head. “Not even 5 minutes, and your reign is already corrupt. Disgusting.”

“Why not stage a coup about it~?” suggested Roxie.

Aiden thought for a moment. “Okay.”

“You can’t do that, that’s illegal!” Leon turned to his brother. “Ángie, you wanna do something about this?”

“But you said no locking people up…”

“This is a little different. They’re literally trying to overthrow me!”

“I did nothing except give my fellow citizen a friendly suggestion!” Roxie began to fake cry. “I can’t believe you would accuse me of a crime I didn’t commit. Waaaaah!”

Jun patted her back. “Rox, I love you, but I don’t think the law’s gonna be on your side with this one.”

“And that’s why you should join me.” suggested Aiden.

“Okay!” Roxie stopped crying and hopped over to him.

“Ángie.” Leon tilted his head at the dissenters.

Angelo walked over to them. “Um, please s-stop doing a coup.”

“What if I give you a hug?” With a bouncy walk, Roxie went around the table and squeezed Angelo in a hug.

“Ah, s-sorry. You can continue.”

Leon couldn’t believe this betrayal. “Angelo, you’re fired.”

Angelo stared at him with a wide-eyed, pitiful look. “But I have a family.”

“He has a family!” Roxie chastised.

Leon burst into laughter from the shock. “What? Who? Since when??”

“S-Since you.” Angelo walked up and gave him a hug. “You’re my family.”

“Awwww.” Leon patted him on the head. “I mean– Uhhhh. I feel like I should still fire you, but…”

“Do you really want to fire your only defense in the middle of an uprising?” asked Aiden. He then stood up and turned to the other ‘citizens.’ “And do you want such a flaky ‘king?’ At first it was ‘my reign isn’t about locking people up,’ and look what he’s doing now.”

“I gotta say,” Jun spoke up, “I am a little disappointed at the direction this kingdom is going. I’m not really feeling the peace and love in space you promised. What about you, Mia?”

“Huh? What?” Mia had been quietly reading the whole time. 

“What do you think about Leon’s leadership?” Roxie asked.

“Uhh… No comment.”

Their words cut Leon like a knife. “Wow. I really lost sight of everything, huh? I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll do better going forward.”

Aiden stood, unphased. “Kings don’t get second terms.” 

“The people have spoken!” Roxie proclaimed. “You have been overthrown, which means I will become the new empress!”

“That wasn’t part of the plan.”

“Well, since there is no longer a king or rules of any kind, there’s nothing saying that I can’t call myself an empress.” she explained. “Besides, it’s just a decorative title. I don’t have any power unless I can convince people to follow me. Speaking of! Juuuunzie~?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you accept me as your new leader?” She asked them in a sickly sweet pitiful voice.

“Huh. Can’t say I was super behind the coup, and ‘empress’ is kind of a red flag, but I do like you, so–”

“I will take that as a yes! Muffinhead! What about you? You can be my imperial guard~”

“I’ll have a job again.” Angelo mumbled to himself. “I’ll be able to s-support my family…!”

Leon saw through this. “Angelo, she’s just bribing you so that she can rise to power. In fact, I bet this was her plan all along! To overthrow me so she could be the new leader!”

“I-I know, but I can’t buy us food with integrity.”

“That’s two votes for me being Eternal Empress Roxaelia!” Roxie celebrated. “What about you, Mia?”

“Huh? What?” Mia was startled out of her book again.

“Do you accept me as your leader~?”

“...Sure.”

“Yaaaaaay! That’s three out of five people who voted for me.” Roxie looked between Leon and Aiden. “You’re outnumbered. That means I am officially Eternal Empress Roxaelia the Great, and I declare this kitchen as my empire.”

Leon stared at Aiden. “And you said I was going mad with power.”

“If you two have any complaints about my empire, I have a special big house where you are free to state them. Imperial Guard Muffinhead will show you to it if you’d like.” She gestured to Angelo. “Unless~ You’re willing to pledge allegiance to me.”

“Never!”

“Sure.” Aiden agreed.

“What??” Everyone else shared Leon’s shock, including Roxie herself.

“Yeah, I pledge allegiance to you or whatever.”

“You have to say my full title!”

“Don’t push it.”

“Okay~” Roxie gave in. “You are a citizen now. Congratulations! Muffinhead, show Leon to his new home that he is not allowed to step outside of.” She motioned to the boxes in the back.

“Th-This way.” To Leon’s surprise, Angelo started to lead him there.

Then, he remembered a trick courtesy of the Empress herself. “Hey Ángie~ What if I give you a hug?”

“Oh, s-sure!”

Leon hugged brother and waited for him to change his mind about sending him to prison.

“Okay, come this way.” Angelo continued.

“Ángie, that was a bribe. I was bribing you.”

“My guard is loyal!” Roxie bragged.

This baffled Leon. “How come you accepted her bribe, but not mine?”

Angelo sat on one of the boxes. “I was th-thinking, and you going to jail isn’t that bad. You get a free home, free food, and we can hang out together all th-the time. It’ll be fun.”

“I can’t believe you.”

“I’ll can sneak in extra food.” Angelo whispered.

Leon didn’t budge.

“And a T- a TV! …And video games if you want.”

He sat behind the boxes, defeated.

“No need to be sneaky!” Roxie assured. “You can give him anything you want so long as he doesn’t leave the dungeo–I mean his new home.” She turned back to the table. “The rest of you! How are you feeling about my empire?”

Jun went first. “The way you treat your prisoners is like, super chill. Nice.”

“Mia, what about you?”

“I-I’m sorry.” Mia looked up from her book. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Are you enjoying your stay in the empire of yours truly?”

“Yeah?”

“Yaaaay! Aiden, what is your assessment?”

Aiden leaned back in his chair. “I was going to start a coup anyway, but your guard actually does his job, the only other opposition is locked up, and everyone else likes you. The odds against me aren’t lookin’ good.”

“Thank you for your honesty. Long live the empire of The Uncoupable Eternal Empress Roxaelia the Great!”

The door opened.

“No! My empire! Fallen so soon.” Roxie threw herself to the floor.

“What… is going on?” Emil looked around the kitchen. “Rookie, Roxie, why are you on the floor?”

“I’m in a dungeon.”

“I’m melllltiiiing!”

“Wh-?”

“You missed the rise and fall of a kingdom, a coup, the rise of an empire and currently, its fall.” summarized Jun. “I have it all recorded.” They held up their phone.

“Cool, thanks?” Emil answered, still stunned.

He shook his head, walking over to Jun.

“Guys, I only left for five minutes…”