Subjective Fire

           "Well, I thought it was a good idea."

           Isaac raised an eyebrow at Neoka. "You thought having a candlelit dinner immediately after a water balloon fight... with gasoline instead of water... was a good idea?" He paused as he thought the activity over in his mind. "Who the hell plays with gasoline filled water balloons?"

           Neoka shrugged. "Demi, and I guess I do now." He sighed. "I just... don't see how this wasn't a good idea. Did you not like the food? Do I just smell too weird for you? Did I need to take a shower first?"

           Isaac pursed his lips and brought a hand up to his mouth, as if considering his words carefully. "Well... I mean it would've helped if you changed or washed off first, but it's not the smell that's the problem."

           "So my cooking hasn't improved since our last dinner then?"

           Isaac pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers and gave a huff. "Noooo... that's not it."

           Neoka frowned and glanced around at his surroundings, searching for what could be the problem with their environment, but that only seemed to frustrate Isaac further. "What? Did I pick the wrong candles?"

           "It's not about the dinner, it's about the..." Isaac stopped. "Why the hell am I trying to explain this to you when it's so blatantly obvious? Why would you think lighting candles and then leaning over said candles when you’re soaked in gasoline was a good idea?"

           "Why wouldn't I?"

           "It's always a bad idea."

           "That's pretty subjective."

           "YOU'RE ON FIRE."

           Neoka didn't seem to react to the flames engulfing his clothes and burning his skin. "That's open to interpretation."

           "NO IT'S NOT. YOU'RE MELTING BEFORE MY EYES AND IT'S FREAKING ME OUT."

           Neoka rolled his eyes while brushing his bangs out of them, or at least what was left of them as his head was consumed in fire. "You're always saying I'm too hot for words though. I guess this is what I get for trying to be romantic. I should stick to being straight, shouldn't I?"

           "Well, I wouldn't go that far, but-"

           "I mean, if this isn't what you'd call romantic, then I don't know what you're asking for, Isaac."

           "I'M ASKING FOR YOU TO NOT BE ON FIRE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE FLAMING IN ORDER TO TAKE ME ON A DATE."

           Neoka took a deep breath, and let it out slowly, all the while his body shifted black for a moment before he morphed into a previous state of himself. One that was not a living bonfire. "Well, the fact that I took that too literally just shows how painfully straight I am. Or painfully inept at dating, I dunno. Either way, I put up with getting into a water balloon fight with Demi for this date. We destroyed five villages and three forests because I thought it would prepare me for this."

           Isaac shook his head. "I don't like it when I'm the more reasonable one out of us. You should stick to questioning my ideas instead of doing... whatever that was."

           "I still don't see how it wasn't a good idea. It was just the wrong good idea."

           "You keep telling yourself that, sweetcakes. Now how about you take me out to a more normal dinner and we can burn down a restaurant instead of ourselves, hm?"

           "Oh, you're no fun."