Vena's Roast

Vena called the crew to the mess hall for a “family meeting.” 

”Alright, so we have what may just be the most difficult mission we’ve ever undertaken,” Vena said utterly seriously.

Gear’s brow furrowed. “Nothing can be as hard as fighting this numskull.” Gear bro punched Vhettl’s shoulder.

”Seriously? More of a pain in the ass than that one time where Gear got blinded by an overgrown bug armed with a light cannon?” Theo questioned.

”Yes and Yes.” Vena confirmed

“Worse than the odyssey to fix our seer?” Vhettl asked, referring to Mora’s stent of being mute.

“More trouble than having an uktari ram into your ship?” P’Tel questioned with a slight smile.

The comms clicked to life and Koy's voice rang through the room, ”Technically I hit him.”

Vena nodded confirming. “Where we’re going even Mora won’t be much help.”

There was silence for a moment before Theo shattered it with an undignified, “Well damn! What the hell are we up against here??”

Gear jumped to the first conclusion “We have to go back to those damned raptors don’t we!?”
“Please, not the raptors, anything but the raptors…” P’Tel muttered in a low tone, easily overshadowed by his more vocal crewmates.
“We’re diving into a nest of So’Una!” Vhettl guessed.
“I swear, if we have to warp through a supernova again, I am not doing it.” Eryx declared.
“That… I, ah, second that.” Tziron added quietly.
Mora shivered at all of these thoughts.

After a brief pause, Vena was about to speak when Koy proposed, “We have to combat a pixie technological singularity?” 

“Worse than all of those.” Vena said actually beginning to look a bit pale.
Gear stood and summon his railgun. “I’ll protect you to the end.”
The room fell silent once again, and once again, Theo ruined it: “Good, ‘cuz I dunno if I will if it’s that bad.”

Vena looked at them seriously. “My mother called me two days ago. My cousin Kah’Lobiiel is turning 9.”

Gear and Mora both mouthed “Oh shit.” and the latter bolted out of the hall before any more could be said.
“Mora??” P’Tel questioned, but she was of course already gone.

“If I just eat her that’ll fix it right?” Vhettl asked under his breath.
“Ah, so, some sort of formal ceremony then…?” Tziron said, though too quietly to be easily heard.
“Sooo a birthday party??” Theo asked. That wasn’t exactly a big deal, was it? Well, not for those of them who weren't Vena and Gear, right?
Eryx would simply wait for clarification, as clearly this meant more than it seems.

"...Ah, Moraa...?” P’Tel stood and walked towards the entrance, hoping she was still nearby. Avvor followed him.

”No Theo, it’s not just “a birthday party.” My mother’s throwing this party!” Vena seemed mortified at the thought.
Gear meanwhile had put away his gun and just hung his head.

“And the bad part is?” Vhettl asked.
“Oh... well, okay.” Theo replied. She didn't get the full picture.
“Ah….” Tziron muttered in acknowledgment. Definitely a fancy ceremony then, which was sure to be... Well, quite… eventful. This crew wouldn’t exactly lend itself well to such a formal occasion.

“Well all of us have to go to the fourth most important event in the next 10 years!” Vena said like it was obvious.
“Vena They don’t realize how bad this is.” Gear stated plainly.
“I see that, Gear!” It occurred to them that this was maybe the fourth time Vena had ever yelled at anyone.

“...Are you sure that the rest of us will be obligated to go?” Eryx asked. With how this crew acted, it would be for the best if that wasn’t the case.

”Oh yes. You’re my family so long as you’re on this ship and I’m not going without you lot.” In reality, it was more likely that her mother insisted she bring all her friends and she was just twisting it to get them to agree.

“...Right…” Eryx mumbled.

Theo directed a comment at Vena, “Okay, so, some sort of formal party thing… You do know that I have no idea how to act at that sorta thing, right? I mean, I can try to be polite and formal and shit all day, but still.” 

*Vena’s head fell “This is what I’m talking about.”

“We’ll be fine, we’ve been through worse.” Vhettl seemed way too confident.

“No Vhettl, everyone here is weak in something very important in Pixie culture.” Vena looked pointedly at their “human,” Theo.

“Oh come on, we’re not that bad!”Theo defended.

”Oh? Theo you’re an exile by choice whose only job is to hack electronics which we both know you can’t do in a nano-field. AND your wings turn everyone who's not Mora off.”
     “Hey that is NOT true! For pixies, maybe, but not others!” Theo defended herself

“Vhettl would only know an insult if it punched him in the face and if it did he’d try to fight it and then eat it!”

     “…”

“Tziron would offend every woman there because he can’t flirt to save his life,”

     Tziron hung his head slightly. She… she had a point

“Eryx is only fun when alcohol is involved and we nearly died the last time he drank.”

      “Thats... Why I don't drink…” Eryx muttered.

P’Tel walked into the room carrying Mora, who now appeared to be around thirteen years of age, and was immediately pointed out.

“And P’Tel… and… you’re just boring, your only redeeming trait is Avvor.” Vena stopped to breath.

P’Tel looked like a deer in the headlights. What the hell did he walk into?? Wait a moment; Avvor, only redeeming-!? ...The truth hurts…

“OH and Mora just about flunked out of the academy because she couldn’t bond with anything without a heartbeat!” Vena crumpled a bit after all this and just breathed a bit.

“And this is why I…” Mora’s words trailed off as she knew better than to talk shit.

“...Hey, wait, what about Gear!?” Theo brought up.

Vena Inhaled. “Oh Gear!..”

“Nononononono. Don’t tell them that!” Gear said blush beginning to show.

Mora looked over “What..?”

Eryx’s curiosity was peaked; what could possibly fluster Gear this badly??

“Oho! Now I’m curious!” Theo exclaimed.

Gear gave a ‘Please don’t’ face to Vena who justy looked at him, “It’s only fair."

“Guys please.” Gear begged.

Theo just looked at him with an evil smirk.
P’Tel carefully put Mora down and took his seat, seeming a little too confused to help.
“Ah…” Tziron didn't know what to say to help.
Eryx stayed silent, actually pretty curious at this point.

”Oh well, Gear’s-” Vena was interrupted.

“HEYWAITAMINUTE!!!” Vhettl yelled, jumping to his feet.

Gear paused and started dying of laughter.
”Ahahaha!” Theo slammed her hand against the table, “Ahh… holy shit Vhettl! Are you-” she barely managed to stifle another laugh, “Oh man, are- are you fucking serious!?”
Eryx laughed, shaking his head as he put a hand to his forehead. “Really Vhettl…?”
P’Tel didn’t exactly know what the hell was going on, but he couldn’t help but laugh at it, mostly due to how over the top gear and Theo managed to be.
Mora was in the same boat as P’Tel, no idea what’s going on but it sure as hell was funny.

”Oh Ect…” Vena’s head thunked into the table as she giggled.