SLABSLAUGHTER BATTLEARENA

So, you've completed the first day? Oh... 

It seems the announcerslab is surprised that you're back. Most competitors tap out immediately! Well, maybe metaslab cheated their way to being a boss... hmmm, well today's new challenger will most likely send any normal slab running for the hills at just a glance! Before we continue, please pause for a commercial break!

*We open in a field. A very green. very lovely field. A happy slabster is prancing through said field, holding a perfectly formed flower. Leafree swoop and pebblings chortle. Everything is perfect. The slabster looks directly at the camera, and says calmly,"I have been prancing for 1346 days nonstop. I'm not tired." The scene abruptly cuts. New setting. A tired, burnt out slabster slumps over a desk. A gigantic golden bottle suddenly lands on them. In a loud booming voice, an announcer says, "TIRED LIKE THIS LOSER? DRINK SOME DON ROCKO'S ENERGY DRINK FOR SLABS!*

Thank you for standing by!  We are now back from our commercial break. 

Your second challenger is DEATHSQUEEZE! Umm... we don't really know much about him. All the interviewers we hired disappeared... I guess he like hugs?

The crowd cheers...

A very tall splab half crawls half slithers into view, smiling. His long legs stick out in all directions...

"Hey buddy! Wanna hug? Come on, just one!"

Do you dare challenge someone named Deathsqueeze?

Keeper of the Hats waltzes back into the stadium and once again bows at her queen and her opponent. Today, she opts for pulling out a large scroll from her hat and examines it. "Good sir, I do believe you missed your calling as a caretaker. I do not know how a hugger could fall into this line of profession. I do adore your gorgeous hat, I have checked my catalogues and we do not own such a hat yet. I would like to inquire as to where you obtained one?"

You rolled 6(+3)

Deathsqueeze chortles. "Wow, how polite! This hat was given to me by my father, and his father before that, it is a family heirloom!" Keeper nods, and without warning attacks.

Keeper deals 8(-1) attack. It is critical! Deathsqueeze has 0 health left.

Keeper of the Hat has won the round! 

She bows to her queen and tries to pry Deathsqueeze's hat off him. For the hats...

Your slabster has successfully beaten the enemy! The crowd goes wild, and start to toss gifts into the ring. You find yourself with an leaf, congratulations!

Keeper of the Hats decides that the sentiment of the family heirloom hat added value to it and places in on top of her own hats to add to the Queen's collection later. She then makes a beeline for the Stat upgrade, heels clicking on the floor. 

The Keeper continues to pump some iron and work out.