✒️ Post your written line you really like

Posted 1 month, 23 days ago (Edited 1 month, 19 days ago) by Caine

I have no idea how fast this thread will die considering majority of the people here are artists rather than writers, but it probably won't hurt trying!

The idea of this game are very simple: Post a line (or a few) from your writing project, whether it's a novel, short story or OC bio / background detailing! 
It can be something you're really proud of or something you simply like, or just want to share with other people! Feel free to also tell others a bit about the context if you feel like it

Rules & guidelines:

  • Keep them PG13 max! Let's keep this game something everyone can participate to and read without fear! 
  • Sensitive content should be either blacked out like this THIS or under spoiler. Again, make sure it's PG13 max!
  • No fanfiction lines unless they contain an original character of yours in the line(s) you post!
  • Don't double post. Double posting is allowed! Otherwise this thread will die lmao 
  • You're allowed to post longer chunks of text too, but keep it moderate and put it under spoiler tag so people don't need to scroll through all of it to reach the next post!
  • Feel free to post as IC if your story line is related to a character you have!
Also, here is a general thread for writers if you want to hang out with others or talk about your projects! And if you have anything to ask, feel free to ping or dm me! 

I might as well start to give people a concrete example of how this works! Here is a short exchange from one of my Sinfonia oneshots I'm still oddly fond of ; v ;/

“I’m Leonhard, but call me Leon! I hate my full name, it’s weird!” the boy smiled, his dark blue eyes curiously observing Jet and his reactions. He didn’t seem to pay attention to his scar or even take glances at it, which admittedly caught Jet off guard. “We’ll be roommates this year! Want to hang out with me?”

This all came so sudden to Jet that he was at a loss of words. Hang out? With this cheerful boy? Surely this had to be some sort of joke. His friends were probably waiting behind the corner to tackle Jet or make fun of him or something.

But as Jet kept looking at Leon with a dumbfounded expression, he saw nothing even vaguely similar to hostility or bad intentions in Leon’s demeanor: he was relaxed, his hands lazily in his pockets as he kept smiling at Jet and waiting for his answer.

Ooo cool thread idea! Here's two lines taken from my new story that I'm pretty proud of:

She threw secret looks at the heavies; their impassive expressions were like walls that Sky's wrath could barely scratch. Towering to each side of the Sturmpanzer, their massive hulls and cannons reminded Arty that their leader's power over them was an Illusion.

Sounds fun! :D Here are a couple paragraphs I like from my most recent (though not recent enough) entry of Propellers, a surreal serial I've been writing occasionally over several years (warning for some creepy imagery):

An unseasonable warmth betook me this morning, seeking to lighten my mood perhaps, though I am stricken once again by the overbearing silence that rings throughout these metal towers. Days have passed me by now—weeks? I cannot say, though by the grace of a bottomless leather satchel I am nurtured and will be indefinitely, by the fluids of the dripping, intestine-like fruits that grow on the furthest outcroppings of the island. Fortune and good fortune more, for the high, unreachable branches are as barren as they ever were.

In the breast of my tattered lace robe a silken pouch of tiny gears and jewels clatters against me, pushing at my skin like a parasite or tumor, grinding into my sternum. Once I fell, and the edges stabbed into my body.

I cried out, a singular sound.

And in an instant my yelp was stolen, dissipated like dust, into the anti-reverberant stalks that surround me.

Ooh now this is my kind of thread :D *dances happily*

Caine Maybe for future posts, it might be nice for the next commenter to share a thing they enjoyed about the line above? It could get the thread going quicker and we could see more awesome lines from others :D *is just a suggestion*

This is a short scene from Trinity of Worlds (that I am rewritingediting this month for Camp NaNoWriMo). Thus, spoiler boxes ahoy.

Ooh now this is my kind of thread :D *dances happily*

A short scene from Trinity of Worlds (editing this month for NaNoWriMo)

"What's  this? Perhaps, are you trying to  court me now?" The noble's coy grin  as she said this drove Riy backwards  as he held his hands up  defensively, his face reddening at the  proposal.

"W-what?! No!  Where did you get that idea?"  The boy replied while backing away. The  noble leaned towards him with  an alluring smile, but it was all a ploy.  Within a moment, she stepped  away and crossed her arms with a soft  laugh.

"I'm just teasing you." She said as a soft  breeze swept  through, gently blowing her hair out to the side. Though  Riy wanted to  make a remark, the sight of the princess in the sun's  light like that  was unexpectedly beautiful, and he just turned away with a huff.

"Let's  just get going. We don't want to get  caught right?" He said in a low  voice while awkwardly rubbing the back  of his head. Watching his  sheepish behavior, a warm smile formed on  Renne's face and she put a  hand on her sword hilt with a nod.

"Yes. Let's be off."

HeroofEnelios I like the idea! But I also feel like it might also have the opposite effect and stall the thread, because other threads that work in a similar manner tend to... die out easily. But I'll be considering it & I think it's fine if people want to comment others' works if they want! ; v ; 9

EDIT // I'm also throwing this here! It's from a short story collection I'm slowly working on about a dragon who keeps a safe house for boys who have been abused / who can't live at home anymore for variety of reasons 

“I’m a princess, no, a prince, from the kingdom of Galph,” Marcus then started once Baphomet had sat down on his own chair near the sofa. “Not the crown prince, mind you, so I was supposed to marry a noble boy rather than a prince, as is the tradition,” he explained. “I… I have no trouble with the arrangement in itself but, um, how should I say this…? Sorry…”

“Take your time,” the man replied patiently and with a gentle smile: “There is no need to apologize either.”

Marcus took another sip of the tea, the mug shaking a little due to his nervousness and unease. Despite this, he continued: “I-I know it’s weird, but I’m not a girl no matter how I look or was raised, and becoming someone’s wife just… It just didn’t feet right. And I told my parents as much.”

Modpost: Double posting is now allowed! Go wild and post from your heart's content 


Here is a still unedited short from one other character's past but related to Morgan 

“I’m not a heretic! I’m not a heretic!” the boy’s voice cried out, shaky and full of fear. As Morgan walked closer, they could see a young boy hiding in the small secret room, curled up and clutching a dagger between his small body. The child was exceptionally small for someone his age, and the dagger he held was almost the size of his own body when he was cowering in the corner. 

“A runt,” Morgan scoffed. 

“I’m not a heretic! the child repeated once more in sheer terror and panic, but seemed unable to move, let alone attack with the dagger. For what purpose was he even holding it if not to protect himself? 

“A child of two heretics; in what way is he not one of them as well?” Morgan asked, unamused and arrogant as they stared at the crying child. 

“I’m not!” the boy gasped, louder than before, “I’m not a heretic! I swear to Miras!” 

“Anyone can plead when their crimes are exposed, but that does naught to the sins thou hast already committed.” 

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Caine Your descriptions of the characters actions do a lot to help the reader get a feel for the character! In Leon and Jet's reaction, for example, I got the implication that Jet usually gets picked on, considering he assumed Leon was luring him into a trap.  The same with how Marcus is nervous about talking about his situation. And geez, poor Morgan!!

artyrambles You really did a great job at setting the tone in this scene! "Towering to each side of the Sturmpanzer, their massive hulls and cannons reminded Arty that their leader's power over them was an Illusion." <- This sentence in particular really felt like a punch, in a good way!

Waltz I like the tone that this character narrates in! You have a way with describing things; I got a lot of information out of the last two sentences of the first paragraph without it seeming too wordy.

HeroofEnelios The character's body language alone tells a lot about them! Well done!

This is actually part of a reply to a prompt that spiraled out of control and became it's own story.


"What's wrong?" Toni asks.

“I almost forgot to check the oxygen reading.” The stranger points to a panel on the wall beside them. It glows red. White text read “47%. Dangerous.” A small chart located beside the panel shows a chart of colors corresponding to different levels of oxygen. The colors range from red to green. The short stranger points to an orange strip in the middle chart. Under it is a dotted line. “We’re supposed to wait until the panel is at least this color before entering that room.” 

“Oh.” Toni smiles. The little chart intrigues him. He expected a spaceship to have complicated directions, but he finds these easy to follow. He then realizes what the stranger meant. “If you opened that door,” he asks, “Would we have died?”

The stranger shrinks down in their shoulders. “Probably.” Toni already knows what they're about to follow up with. “I’m so sorry…”

“It’s okay. Well…it wouldn’t have been okay if we died, but I’d be too dead to be mad at you.” They smile a little at Toni’s response. He can’t recall them ever smiling before. It's a nice, friendly smile that spreads to Toni’s face as well. “What’s your name?”




bulgariansumo Thank you so much ; o ; !! 

I REALLY like the dialogue in your excerpt! There is something charming about the way especially Toni speaks, and I feel like you get a lot information about the situation even though the excerpt is relatively short + makes me curious to know the full context. 

These characters featured aren't on my TH yet but I really enjoy writing their dialogue! Boris is such a Dad.....  
 

“You’re awfully silent, boy,” the man then spoke and gave Viti a fast, worried glance. “Are you feeling weak?” 

“N-no sir, I think I’m fine,” the young man replied with a shaky, uncertain voice. “I think I’m just… having trouble comprehending all that has happened and, well, you see, this house and --”

“You’re nervous about meeting my family?” 

“Yes sir, exactly.”

Mr. Diefenbach laughed kindly. 

“There is nothing to worry about, Viti. I’m sure my wife and daughter will understand, and we’ll provide you at least a temporary solution for the time being. You’re free to move on your own if and when you feel like it,” he explained and had slowed his speed enough to now walk next to the boy. “Also, you don’t need to call me Mr. Diefenbach, especially if we’re going to be living under the same roof. Just call me Boris, alright?” 

Viti looked at the man and hesitated for a moment, but finally he nodded slowly. 

“Alright… Boris” 

“That’s the spirit,” Boris laughed and patted Viti’s back with his wide hand so hard Viti almost fell over on the wet ground. 

Oh!!! I don't WRITE everyday but I really like to do it!! Here goes one excerpt from exe.sorcist's faux news article. i found it really fun to work on these cuz i feel it's a different way to tell a story using modern formatting. i wrote them on a rush but it feels believable haha

"As weird as it seemed, after I politely asked it to leave, it asked me if I was sure. I explained to it that I just wanted it gone, and after a while it left." the user stated. "It was very weird, it felt almost as I was shooing a real person, you know?"

On the other hand, there were users who didn't care- or even, were fond of the curious character that claimed to protect them, and soon claimed to have 'bonded' with it.

This userbase has posted a good amount of content of this software, going from screenshots to fan-art and thank you letters. A portion of them claims to have been helped by the software, as it made them get over personal issues. 

"After all of that, and seeing how everyone's having fun with that thing, I feel kinda bad for telling it to go. It's weird, to kinda miss a program." added the ex-user.

reinapepiada This excerpt is so nice?? I genuinely really enjoyed reading it aaaa

this was limited edition and its Gone Now... (i get shy keeping writing posted;;; <3)

bulgariansumo Thank you! :D It's possibly my favourite line of the whole story haha. About your excerpt, I like how clear your writing is, it's not verbose or needlessly filigreed. I like that.

Here's another little thing from one of my stories, one that actually features humans. It's set in WW2 and is about German tankers going on a mission which takes a bunch of unexpected turns, and also tells the perspective of the involved Russians:

Aleksei Vedeneyev was a high ranking tank commander. He and his crew had served in a T-34 for a couple of years and acquired quite a few honours and kills. Because of their skill they had eventually been chosen for a very special task. They and two other tank crews should test new, secret prototype tanks. That had worked out well at first, but now there was a problem. Aleksei Vedeneyev, high ranking tank commander, had handed these tanks over to the Germans – if not fully voluntarily.

I really need to work on that story again, I haven't updated it in like a year... D:

This was actually from one of the writing prompt threads but I really like this part of the dialogue 

"Why are you allowed to do all these things but I'm not?" Rick finally asked and let go of his nose - it wasn't bleeding anymore, although had dirtied his face in blood. 

"Because," Leon said and then paused, a frown on his face, "Because I'm an idiot and there is nobody looking after me. But I don't want you to be as stupid as I am, so I'm looking after you."

The younger boy crossed his arms. "But I don't need you to look after me!"

"... says mister bloody nose."

OOF recently i haven't been writing a lot and i feel bad about it but here's a small thing from a few months ago.. for context, the 'beast' has attacked a science facility and as a creature, he survives off of eating people. a person from his past confronts him. the original story is much longer but i kind of liked this part, it's not the best but i thought i'd post it anyway ; v ;

As the Beast ate in the light of an open room, while gnashing the flesh of a victim between his teeth, a door opened, and somebody slipped in. The Beast heard, but wasn't initially interested. The person then cocked their weapon and pointed it, and the Beast sighed. A clicking sound could be heard and a flashlight turned on as well. The creature raised his gaze boredly in response.

"Feeling particularly suicidal today?" he asked the lone survivor, mockingly. The person's face was unclear in the shadows. "I don't know if you've noticed, but measly pistols don't hurt me. It won't be long before you join your comrades on the ground." The Beast got to his feet and kicked one of the corpses.

"I'm not here to die," the survivor said confidently, raising his flashlight so that his face was visible. The Beast froze. It was the man who had escaped the first scene he had caused - but he seemed strikingly.. familiar. "Do you remember me, Subject 001? I remember you. I remember your pathetic little antics in the labs and your struggle against the experiments we could've used to better further the world we live in. You could've been in the history books.. a scientific breakthrough. But no. You just had to be free, didn't you? You just had to be free - a pest like you who doesn't deserve freedom just had to be free." The Beast stepped back, feeling oddly pale. "You will come back, you disgusting animal. You will be detained in a cage where you belong."

Flashback.

The Beast is being dragged out of the storage room in which he was born and has known for the entirety of his life. The light is seething and burning his skin, and he is struggling madly against the force of these strange and scary people that want to kill him. He's terrified. He can see out of the corner of his eye a blonde man with goggles, and he has an amused expression. He is dragged in the middle of the room and laughed at by the man, and others join in. He feels humiliated. He doesn't like this.

Flashback.

The Beast is being experimented on. He is strapped to a metal table, and the scientists are trying to give him medicine for the procedure which they are about to carry out. They are going to open his stomach and take notes on his organs. The Beast doesn't like this, thinks he is going to die, and feels threatened. He lashes out at the scientists and tries to defend himself. The blonde man in goggles gets up from his seat and takes a strange device from his desk, then approaches him. He jabs it in his side, and the Beast's body lights up in electricity. The pain is unbearable. He does it again. Afterward he is taken back into his cell. The blonde man looks at him angrily.

Flashback.

The Beast is bigger and more grown. He sits in his cell all day, with the cage bars obscuring the window in which the scientists stare at him and take notes. He feels violated and unsafe, as well as anxious. He tries to break out of the cage. The scientists punish him by beating him. He resumes sitting in his cell and broods revenge. The blonde man writes something on his clipboard, and speaks an order to the others. They come into his cage and force-feed him medicine that knocks him out.

Flashback.

The blonde man visits the Beast's cell at night and stares at him intently for a few minutes. The man then calls him worthless, and stalks off. The Beast feels empty. 


The Beast stared at the man - the blonde man in goggles from his previous life, the scientist named Chris. He gripped the handle of his scythe, and felt his muscles become unusually taut. Rage began to fill his systems. One of the men that caused the unbearable torment and torture in his life, standing right in front of him... he shook in his anger, his desire to murder. "Of course I remember you," he spoke, forcibly hushed. "How could I ever forget what you did to me?"

There was a long pause as he took in a deep breath, and then gritted his teeth, scowling with unbelievable fierceness. He couldn't relive the life he suffered as a child. He would rather die than that - die a horrible death, as long as he never had to see the faces of those dreaded heartless scientists ever again. Sheer desperation and blinding wrath clouded his mind, and with a shrill, hoarse cry, the Beast sprang toward Chris with the unrestrained impulse of a madman, and the livid light in his eyes only could be matched by the fury of an active forest fire. Chris' gun rattled as he fired a series of bullets toward the unhinged, maddened creature, but fled when he realized the fight was hopeless.