✒️ Post your written line you really like

Got a few sections from a fic I’m working on between breaks that I particuarly like. Chances are it’s gonna end up heavily edited once I have access to a desktop with WiFi and Drive but I’m gonna show them anyway. 

It’s set within my sci-fi headworld after my WW1 OC’s Jasper, William and Friedrich get stuck there.

“You read as very closed off and emotionally unavailable at times. That makes it difficult to read between the lines. I’m not gonna know what you want if you’re not upfront with me,” Oscar keeps his voice firm yet soft. He doesn’t want to hurt Friedrich further but gets the impression he’s done so anyway. Friedrich looks like a wounded dog. After what he’s been through and considering he’s still half drugged on a cocktail of pain relief, mild sedative and potent anti-venom Oscar assumes that his emotions are shot and he’s probably feeling pretty sensitive and raw right now. 

“Sorry I shouldn’t of been so harsh,” Oscar squeezes Friedrich’s hand again. 

“It’s just a lot of the recent upset between you, William and Jasper could of been resolved fast if you boys had just spoken plainly with each other,” Friedrich goes to interject but Oscar cuts him off before he has a chance to open his mouth to talk with a raised hand in a stop gesture. 

“Which I know is easier said than done but this 4-way relationship isn’t going to work if you boys don’t talk it out and communicate,” Friedrich slides his eyes away and Oscar gives him a chance to process what’s been said.

I also like this bit which is from the same fic:

“What’s wrong?” William asks. He really means is there something you’re not telling me? Jasper shakes his head and rubs his eyes with his thumb and index finger, a tell William had long ago told him he did often when he was stressed.

This one is old, but I'm still rather proud of it! It's from chapter one of Silvio's story. Honestly, Silvio's story is probably my best story I've ever written, even though I've neglected it for a while now ~ Also, Erin's here, a character I still have yet to fully design.

OH SHIT this thread rules! I wish I'd found it sooner ... I just finished a short play a month ago. It was about a corporate executive named Avery dealing with a strange man he's never met before in his life named Peter, who, for some reason, is sitting as his desk. Avery is more than a little peeved about it.

Writing it beat the crap out of me for a few months, but I'm pretty fond of (most of) it now. Here's my favorite exchange from it:

feedback appreciated! :)

Oof I've been tirelessly writing the story behind my OC Donovan Fritz. There's so much pieces I enjoy but here's a small sample piece. :P

''I don't trust you!''he thrust a fist toward Donovan and gave a sigh as Donovan dodged,''you're a monster just like them! You laugh, you're happy! You make me want to move on after everyone I loved and knew died! I can't do that! I'm human Donovan! I'm human!''

Donovan stopped suddenly, he watched as Antonias staggered toward him with his fists clenched, with his eyes wide, and his body trembling.

''Do you think I would do such a thing?''Donovan cried,''I'm human too!''

Antonias growled,''Why are you lying to me?!?''

Donovan unclipped his chocker and Antonias gasped as his eyes met with a large scar that went nearly all around Donovan's throat.

''What happen-''

Donovan shoved Antonias down.

''I was human before!''Donovan clipped the choker back on his neck,''It wasn't my fault! I didn't- I don't want to live forever!''

Antonias's eyes widened as he watched Donovan's eyes well with tears.

''You can blame me if that's what you want,''Donovan stood stiffly,''I knew they were coming to kill them, and I could have stopped them if I wanted to. I broke the window in the church, and I hate your religion just like everyone else here. But I'm confused, I'm so confused the question keeps nagging! And I'm DARN SICK OF IT!''

Donovan kicked the small coffee table and watched as it's contents spilled and flew through the air, and the table split in half under his strength.

Antonias gasped and rushed toward him.

''Donovan stop! JUST STOP ALREADY!''

Donovan turned toward Antonias, the room flickered as the lights above them turned on and off. Suddenly the room they were in filled with red and blue lights.

Donovan turned toward the window and his eyes widened. He grabbed a side of his coat and covered Antonias with it.

''We're leaving, now!''

I wrote some Age of Sail between breaks and I’m particularly pleased with this excerpt.

For context: Owen gets challenged to a duel by a rival, Owen gets himself shot in an action and as Owen’s second Archie has to take his place. One problem: Archie can’t shoot for shit.

Archie raises the pistol with more confidence than he feels. Meele weapons where his area of expertise - Fencing is his forte, he’s decent with a tomahawk ax and can even successfully improvise a rope dart like weapon out of a handy billy but his shooting has always been abysmal. 

Embarrassingly abysmal.

Owen asked him to be second. Owen’s now incapacitated and Archie’s obligated to hold that promise. 

In his anxiety he’s half tuned out Francis talking him through shooting, gotten too lost in his own thoughts and completely misses the can. 

“At this point you’d be hoping he’s a shit shot or pissed as a fart,” Francis says bluntly. The comment hits Archie hard like a punch to the gut. Archie swallows a breath as he reloads with a trembling hand. He hopes Francis hasn’t noticed but that’s like hoping a man will stop breathing.

“Breathe for 5 seconds,” Francis says sternly. “Aim, take a breath and hold it half way out,” Archie does what he’s told. 

“Now fire but don’t snatch the trigger, squeeze it slowly,” The talk and Francis’s stern tone helps him force himself to focus. He hits a can. It catches the top corner but it’s a hit and the can skitters off the railing. Archie lets out the rest of the breath with a sigh.

“Good, there’s hope for you yet,” Archie swallows thickly and his throat feels dry. He tries again but misses. 

“You missed because you rushed the shot,” Francis scolds. He’s not unkind and it’s a fair critism but it doesn’t help to settle Archie’s nerves.

“I’ve never dueled before,” Archie says quietly. Francis’s expression shifts to something softer, almost sympathetic.

“Good. Pray you never have to duel again,” he says simply. It sets Archie on edge, rams home the reality of what he’s about to do. He clenches and unclenches he pistol grip then has to relax his hand to work out tiny cramps in his wrist and fingers. 

“Try again. You have 2 cans left. Breathe in, let half your breath out and hold. Squeeze gently. Breathe out. You aim high and to the right so aim lower than you need and more to the left,” Francis says.

Archie does just that and finally hits a can dead center. He laughs nervously, a short jarring laugh. 

“There you go. Do that again,” Francis sounds pleased.

Archie does and he finds the newfound consistency of the practice comforting. He may just have a chance at this. 

He’s still worried about the coin toss.

“The way I see it, we either die trying to save ourselves, or we just die. There’s no in-between.

“No... no, I know, but I know that my entire life has led up to this day.

“I’m okay.”

Damien: "Do you always carry beef in your pants?"

Officer Jenner: "Only when I'm visiting Mitch."

--from my novel Minot which is in serious need of a rewrite

(It's not as dirty as it sounds. 😅 Character in question had just fed some beef jerky to a hungry dog.)

“I’ve never bothered to pray… But are you listening now?!” Beloved roared at the night sky. “I’m willing to kneel before a thousand gods, lick poison off their feet and blood off their hands… As long as he’s safe. Take my heart, tear out every single organ from my body if you wish, but please… Please don’t take him away from me.”

This was done in a roleplay back in May and i still like to read it sometimes. Though I'll have to say there is one swear in it.

mrloveache aaaa sorry for the ping I just wanna say I love your line so much?? I was so shook reading it omg it's so good

I'm quite proud of this blurb I made for Mikayla and Rue!

Mikayla never cared much for the mortals; they would make a tribute to her, and then they would die at one point, their lives lost as quickly as a blink of the eye. They are fleeting creatures that are not worthy of her attention, until one day, a human wander into her forest. Past the lair of the animal faeries, past the blooming garden of the flower gnomes, the human walks through until she reaches the darkest part of the forest, where only the moonlight could shine through. Mikayla had many visitors, vengeful men determined to hurt their enemies, wronged women with the intent to hurt... She has seen all kinds of humans arrive into her territory, but never a girl so young. Eighteen, at most. What would she want with death?

"What do you seek?" Mikayla asked, drifting out from the shadows until she and the girl was face-to-face. 

The girl took a step back, traces of tears dripping off her face. She was terrified, but she wasn't going to run away. There was a fire in her eyes that Mikayla couldn't explain, a fire that was ice-cold and fierce, too strong for a human so small. Who had hurt you, pained you in such a way that you came to me? she wanted to ask, but before she could, the girl spoke up. "There's someone I need you to kill".

Out of the stuff with my fandom OC, I think it's the starting lines of my Azur Lane Commander OC fic. 

And for original universe kind, this was one of my best attempt on action scene that's a part of chapter 2 of HiFuMi NovA project I haven't posted here yet but I did post on my writing blog and I quite like how it turned out!

With a bash, Otoha got punched in the face by a gauntlet fist as she got thrown to the nearby tree before she could even finish. Thankfully, it doesn’t hurt as much as she would’ve expected. It felt like she only fell to a soft, fluffy bed, despite how clear would that gauntlet hurts normally.

“Don’t monopolize Haru-sama’s intercom like that! Think for yourself for once, Otome!” Crisp and clear she could hear Aika’s voice protesting eerily. Not ringing in her head as Halstar’s voice did, but still clear enough for Otoha to feel the anger of the glasses girl who just punched her. She really is a bad yandere character with pure fist power on top of it, Otoha wondered to herself.

“It’s Otoha! Also, what the hell was that all of sudden?! Can’t you cut me some slack?! I’m a junior of yours in this case! Can’t you at least give me some guidance properly?”

“It’s my way of teaching. If you slack on a magical girl’s battlefield, you’ll be sent home quick, Kotoha” Aika sent her a thumb down as she charged towards her. “I will teach you a lesson by knocking you out first!”

Ruerie 

sorry if I'm disrupting the flow of messages, but,

thank you??? so much??? O0O

I'm truly so happy to read such a nice comment ^ ^ 

(I've used it in one of my fiction works if you'd like to read the whole thing & get the context)