✒️ Post your written line you really like

Had a random idea for my sci-fi plot whilst full of cold. My imagination always seems to get more vivid when I’m ill and I seem to be more willing to explore ideas I may not normally touch or think about so I took advantage of that. I’m fond of this bit of banter that resulted from that exploration.

“That’s some serious dungeons and dragons shit right there,” Lucian mumbles with a sigh.

“Huh, I wouldn’t of labled you a geek,” Cardinal quips.

“Yeah I watched every episode of Star Trek I wear my geek hat with pride,” he quips back. He lets his tone get sharp but a smile creeps across his lips.

A short line at the beginning of one of the last chapters of my NaNo novel... in the context of what happens in the chapter, this bit is really chilling to hear.

"Here in my room, I wander alone... in circles, I march along... he watches me, somehow, from the edge of his eye... he knows about me, and will wait no longer to meet me..."

I hit a creative brick wall whilst some shit came to a head this past month; full moon effect as my colleauge calls it but I managed to get a sci-fi plot ramble down today! Was good to write again. This will go through some heavy editing once I get home and can do research into (aerial) surveying and get Friedrich, Jasper and Wiliam’s roles within this plot solidified, this is more of a raw idea log/thought dump but I’m still pretty pleased with how it came out!

Friedrich watches the touchscreen with fascination as he drew the Rapier’s track in. The white line followed his finger on the map and automatically corrected it’s self to a smoother curve across the largely uncharted northern continent of Haal. His hand was getting steadier from repeated drills and the corrections were minimal. It’s satisfying and his lips start to turn upwards.

“Track laid in” an automatic voice says, even after 3 months on the Polaris and 2 of those months spent being assessed and trained up for new roles the cold monotone of the ship still threw him off. 

The machine rumbles to life around him as he straps into his seat in front of the screen, fighting with  the tricky canvas harness to get it snug against his chest. His right hand rests lightly on the camera’s joystick left hand free to dance over controls for other surveying equipment. 

Though Friedrich had sat in several real flights now, short jolleys to a nearby moon or comet or a simple loop around the Polaris whilst it slowed to inches below light speed for various maintenance tasks to be completed for the sake of getting the boys used to the aircraft and being close quarters to the stars, Friedrich had started notice discrepancies between the simulator and the real thing. 

One was the mechanical movement of how the stars slid by as the Rapier cut through the inky black of space. There was a sort of lag to it that he couldn’t quiet place yet seemed somehow off.

The other was how the simulated turbulence and the ion drive’s low hum wasn’t quiet right. 

Still, it was almost too easy to get lost in the simulation; too easy to forget he was in fact in a FLT starship hurtling towards the far edge of the galaxy. He’d initially resisted integration to the Polaris crew initially but he’s starting to look forward to these little trainings. He loves the buzz of flight; it reminds him of that feeling he used to get galloping bareback on one of his mother’s prized thoroughbreds on a hot summer’s day. 

This flight is a milestone; if he carries this flight off to the book he might be allowed to sit in Cardinal’s station as navigator on a real flight. Cardinal would still be present, standing over him like a vulture circling prey and ready to take over in a heartbeat.  

Edit: I added to this a bit which I would love to share but it got long and I can’t spoiler on mobile

Back so soon because I’m trying to write every other day and have a few scenes I’m developing.

I’ve found I LOVE writing characters from different nationalities who are barely conversational attempting to communicate with each other. Some scenes where I’ve explored that are this: 

“Hey! Do you have a moment?” Raven calls. Fuck’s sake Friedrich can’t help but think. He cuts his pace anyway and gives Raven a cold glare. A glare that says what the fuck do you want I don’t have time for this shit.

Raven pulls Friedrich into an empty briefing room, locking the door and engaging a security screen. A blue film shimmers down and around them as it’s activated.

“I’m not really supposed to talk to you about this because the uplink technology is still experimental and we don’t know what’s the result of the surgery or underlying problems the screening didn’t catch but I feel you should know,” Raven starts, stumbling over his words to get them out quick as possible. With his strong New Yorker accent it’s difficult to follow especially with his limited command of the English language.

“Slow down oder spreche zu mich ihn Deutsche,” Friedrich says raising his hands in a stop gesture. Raven stops for a breath, frowns as he works out the translation and repeats himself in rusty German. This time Friedrich keeps up even with the rush of words, some which are spoken in the wrong case.

“-Before I had that microchip implanted,” Raven finally finishes his initial opening sentence.

“Ok I’m listening,” Friedrich says folding his arms and cocking his head up.

And this:

“I’ve developed something like restless leg syndrome because I seem to have the beginning of suspected nerve” Raven seems to struggle to find the word he’s after. “Wounds,“ Raven he says pulling a face, he imitates a shaking hand as he speaks and seems to know he got the wrong word.

Friedrich gets the gist of what he’s trying to say but offers “Beschädigung?” anyway with a sense of smug satisfaction. This conversation’s clearly challenging the German Raven seems to understand.

“That’s the one,” Raven says. He rolls the word over his tongue a few times imitating Friedrich’s pronunciation but not quiet getting it. 

I’m a beginner at the German language myself so please call me out of my German for these excerpts is wrong! 

(actually two fragments bc i've never gotten around to connecting the scene up orz):

You dream of light sparkling off the tops of the waves and the matching shine of a fish’s scales as you pull it from the water. It’s an old dream, one you’ve had many times before, practically for as long as you can remember. It’s always like this – the sun, the sea, the skin of a fish.

--

It leaves you feeling calm and strangely hollow, like you're anticipating a memory that can make you whole. You might call it nostalgia, except that you’ve never been fishing in your life.  

It reminded Dimitri of the instant before a predator attacked a lost goat, and he could only hope that his being devoured would be metaphorical.

needs polish, but still a damn good line imo

I’m playing with the possibility of Hendrix and Beck being moved to a metrological squadron (like 521 squadron). I’m a meterology nerd so I love getting it into my works. I also realized I rarely handle character’s parents within my own work and decided to explore that a bit so I wrote Hendrix telling his mother he’s moving to this squadron. Even if I don’t take this route I’m really fond of how it came out! Hendrix is a big ol’ mumma’s boy at heart.

His mother smiles at that, he breaks eye contact and glances at their shoes, the floral pattern of her dress as she cups his head and says good. 

“These grey hairs,” she says forcing Hendrix to meet her eyes again. “They didn’t grow in until you joined the air service,” he swallows thickly. It’s the most she’s ever commented on the matter besides congratulating him on passing out and getting his promotions - She’s always been supportive of him, knowing flying was his dream since he was old enough to understand the concept. She’s also pushed him towards the Service - perhaps she seemed to understand it was his only chance of getting wings. His eyes well up at the thought and he takes her hand in his own offering a kiss to it when he finds himself at a loss of words.

He takes her comment to heart. She’s worried for his safety and seems relieved he’s moving away from front line fighting. A bitter part of him wonders how long that’ll last.

I added 2,500 words onto a fic I was stuck with (probably in part because I'm cursed with a non-linear writing style and in part because if I'm just idea logging I go in blind and without a plan). I still need to sit down and map out the beginning of the scene - I know what happens, just don't have the idea developed enough to get it into actual words. 

This is precisely why William doesn’t drink, the hangover is hell and not worth the cost of the booze to start with. He’s no connoisseur, barely drinks alcohol as it is so whiskey still tastes the same regardless of if the bottle costs three hundred and fifty pounds or a shilling. 

There's also this bit I like:

“Morning sunshine,” Jasper says in a cheery voice that has a sarcastic undertone to it. William’s eyes drop to the floor.

“Morning,” William mumbles. He grips his closed fist hard.

There are a few...? Although, a lot of them I'd have to really dig for back when I used to write religiously. Here's a few lines/paragraphs in particular that I really like from The Love-Crazed Anthology. 
Bolded are the more favored lines if it's part of a paragraph.

• "God, the cerulean blue hues that sharply gazed at Verity in passion now used to be filled with wonder. Eyes that undressed the Lady every time they set themselves upon his body used to be radiant with joy. The veined hands that made him shiver with anticipation and delight with every touch used to be soft, inexperienced, clumsy. Those same veined hands now were stained with lust but sweetened by love. The voice that cooed to him sweetly, the voice that growled words of possession used to be a voice that was as gentle as a mouse. Who would have known that such a pure boy would turn into such a feral beast?"
• "Every time he so much as made you smile, I seethed in rage, wishing it could have been me."
• "There is only love and fervent passion, a truth unspoken from your lips."

daiyuna

These lines are genius! I'd love to read more!

luuvy

Right over here! Thank you. <3

i've been writing for flashslip's dreams lately - i have to post chapter 4 soon. here's a snippet of that!

- - -

Panic raced through her from ears to tail-tip. This is all my fault. She swayed on her paws, feeling completely and utterly helpless. For a moment, she considered giving up completely and building a den here; then, she caught a strong, fresh scent drifting on the breeze. Riverclan? Swiftly turning, she took a double take when she saw what had been causing the scent.

A white warrior with gray splotches on his fur was sitting in the middle of the clearing. His tail was wrapped neatly around his paws, his ears pricked at full alert. His baby blue eyes were locked on her. She could see the reeds behind him faintly through his fur and suddenly wondered if this was a warrior of Starclan. I've certainly never seen him before. But didn't medicine cats say Starclan cats had, well, er... stars in their fur? Flashpaw leaned her head down to lick her ruffled chest fur, hoping to hide her confusion.

The strange cat simply tilted his head to watch her, and when she rose her head, she adjusted her stance to start slowly towards him. "Who are you?" She asked in a voice that had only a slight shake to it. "This is Riverclan territory, you know..."

The white warrior twitched his whiskers in faint amusement, and when he spoke, his voice was quiet; it sounded similar to the breeze on the wind, or the whisper of the river flowing through the trees. "Hello, young one. You seem fresh out of the nursery. What is a kit doing out here, with no warrior, and no mother to protect her?"

Flashpaw felt suddenly embarrassed and shifted her paws underneath her. "I'm not a kit, I'm an apprentice! That means you should treat me with some respect."

"Oh, of course, my apologies." The warrior purred, low and deep in his chest. "Are you lost, then, apprentice?"

Flashpaw eyed him cautiously, but even with her suspicions, she suspected he wasn't going to hurt her. Allowing her muscles to relax, Flashpaw replied with, "Actually, yes. You see, er, I kinda forgot the way back to my camp. Do you know where that is? I mean - am I, are you a Starclan warrior? Have you been sent here to take me back?"

The white warrior slowly rose to his paws, and Flashpaw took a quick step back in response. A twinkle of amusement shone in the warrior's eye. "Relax, friend. Yes, I am a Starclan warrior. I'm here to take you home."

Flashpaw let every muscle on her relax, dropping onto her haunches without realizing it. "Good." She said simply, trying not to let the relief flowing through her body show on her face. I'm so glad I don't have to fight him.

"Are you ready to travel? You must be tired, and the way is quite far." The Starclan warrior rose his head to sniff the air, and Flashpaw heaved herself to her paws. Now that he mentioned it, Flashpaw was tired. She had had quite an emotional day, after all - she realized that she'd be glad once she could settle back down in her nest and relax.

"I'm ready," she confirmed for him. The white warrior walked towards her, brushing his fur against hers, and then started past her. She fell in step behind him, her pawsteps sounding muted on the dirt-covered track.

They walked along the trail in silence. Flashpaw took the time to focus her attention elsewhere as she followed the warrior; she took in the scenary around her. A leaf fluttered down from it's branch, knocked off by the wind. A bird chirped somewhere in the distance, calling out for a lifelong mate of it's own. Above all else, the river rushed on; the soothing sound seemed to stay around Flashpaw, enticing her deeper into the forest.

Soon they were standing just outside of her camp. For a moment, Flashpaw was surprised; no one had ever taken her somewhere so fast. But this is a Starclan warrior, she reminded herself. She turned towards the warrior to thank him, but by the time she had done so, he was gone.

I guess Starclan warriors don't stick around for very long, Flashpaw told herself, wondering why she felt so disappointed. He did get me back to my camp. His job must be complete now.