deji moirai's Links
Oh, how I adore my precious, beautiful, tifi… Being a…father… was something I had always ever wanted but never really got the chance to experience… Hope allows me that sense of fatherhood I’ve always craved, it’s truly fulfilling. There’s nothing like it. She even calls me her Dad sometimes…it makes me smile. I quite spoiling her as well, much too often than what I think I should, I will admit. Latona keeps telling me to quit or else I’ll make her grow up to be all demanding and greedy. I take pride in being a sort of parallel father figure to her, she’s truly a very bright and beautiful, gorgeous girl, there’s a real pure essence in her that I hope others in the world will one day be able to see in her like I do. They all don’t know I’m aware of what they all plan to use her for once she’s of age. I wouldn’t ever condone such a thing and I surely know Latona wouldn’t either if she weren’t sworn to sick and solemn silence about the matter. I won’t let it happen to her. I know what it means for her future and a little girl like herself doesn’t need that responsibility. So, while I’m still alive and I’ve got my given time with her, I’ve been trying to prolong the painfully cruel reality of it all regarding her situation by trying to make her life feel a tad bit normal. Well, as normal as it can be being raised in a church and knowing nothing of life on the outside and all. Normal enough like it should be for other little girls like her still in their adolescence, just in case I may not be around long enough to protect her like I’ve sworn to in the future. I would’ve never seen myself caring for her like I do now.. she sort of just… clung to me. Latona didn’t really like me being around her all that much because she didn’t trust me, especially not with Hope, and I wanted to respect her wishes, honest, but she just kept clinging to me. A child’s burning inquisitiveness towards possibly anything and everything is one of the most delightful and yet mind boggling forces. I was just another random man to her then. I couldn’t ever just outright ignore her either, that’d be just plain rotten and cruel. I would never. I would do my best to indulge her for the short whiles we exchanged before Latona came around and scooped her up and away from me to go elsewhere with her before giving me a real dirty look. That woman sure knows how to cast one hell of a scowl on anybody. I don’t think she still really trusts my parenting skills all too well, but I also think that’s just how she’s always been with Hope, that’s something I could never ever even fathom getting between; a mother and her given right to nurture and fight for her beautiful baby. Hope has truly become my everything, if she cries, which it kills me bit by bit every time she does, I’m there to wipe away her tears and the streaks left behind off of her face. If she’s scared, she clings to me like I am her shield and I reassure her she has nothing to fear as long as I am around. If she grows tired, I tote her in my arms. If she ever needs me, I’m never not there. I’d give that little girl the whole entire world to call it her own and more if she so demanded it. Even my whole heart until it’s last dying beat, straight from my chest if I were allowed to.
SHE LOVES PAPA
Latona is and was one of the only people I truly respected in that entire building. I’ve always admired the way she holds herself and her standards of others, if you were a disgrace, you were a disgrace to yourself and everyone else, and she’d advise you to grow some sense. She was never a lighthearted woman, always so brash with that sharp tongue of hers. Some days I find myself missing her incessant reprimanding about my overall performance and posture. I truly feel I am the only one who misses her presence even though I choose not to show it. It makes the longevity of my temper run dangerously thin seeing her former sisters resort so quickly to being overly grateful and relieved by her absence when she was the only real foundation they had. Without her, they are all nothing. The convent is now nothing but a bunch of shameful, gossipy, and servile women. Since her separation from the church, it’s been my sworn obligation to watch over and protect Hope for her. I know it hurts her more than anything that she couldn’t just uproot everything and take her with her. And I know it hurts Hope just as much that she doesn’t have her beloved mother by her every step any longer. Hell, she’d probably be just as content leaving everything else behind and taking only Hope and her own pride on her waist and out of those thick doors. For a while that woman hated me. Matter of fact, she didn’t just hate me, she utterly loathed me. Absolutely detested me and anything that had to do with me. I don’t really know what exactly made her change. I’ve roughly gathered that Hope is an incredibly valuable asset to these people inhabiting this church. A walking, living, breathing beacon of hope for trolls twice her sweeps, embodied by a tiny little girl. To me, she’s just a little kid in my eyes, and that’s all I ever really saw her as. And as a kid, she should be allowed to be happy, not harnessed by handling responsibilities far beyond her years and unrealistic expectations set by utterly arrogant adults who— I’m getting myself overly worked up. I promised Latona I would continue to raise Hope with everything I had so that she too could one day leave this place and not be a prisoner to these walls and chained as a liability instead of a real person to these people. I really do miss her sometimes, Hope does too. I know deep down and very well that despite of all this, she will never stop caring for Hope and she’s only been trying to do what’s right, for the sake of motherhood. As painful as her decisions may be. I really have to commend her for her strength for she is much stronger and humane than I. We write to each other when it is safe to, it's our only way of communication and a little secret we have. I let Hope read some of her letters she sends where she addresses her and she’s even sent some off to her herself, her handwriting and legibility has been improving tremendously. I’m quite proud of her for it. She always tells me how things are and such in her letters, but wherever she is, I truly hope she’s safe and alright. I just wish I could see her again face to face to know her word is true.
Initially, it was really no secret that Latona wasn’t the biggest fan of Deji. He was secretive, she knew next to nothing about him, and worst of all, Hope wouldn’t stop talking to him. She was admittedly jealous at first, that the grub she’d given up so much of her life for liked him so much. She had tried to keep her away from him, and when that didn’t work, tried warning Deji instead. She didn’t like him, that much was clear, but Hope did. As annoying and as much as a bad influence she thought he was, it was obvious how much he genuinely cared for Hope. She’d watch the way he talked to her, the way they played and how excited Hope always was to see him. He was the only one who truly wanted to protect her, who wanted to give Hope the normal adolescence Latona wanted for her. What solidified that for her was when she had accidentally overheard Deji threatening Tratos, of all people, over Hope. When she had no other choice but to leave the church, she knew that Deji was the sole person she could count on to keep Hope safe. She made him promise, that he wouldn’t betray Hope. It was one of the first times she ever had peace of mind. Latona truly trusts him and looks forward to their chats where Deji shows her what Hope’s been up to recently, though seldom giving updates on himself. She loves the pictures of Hope he brings the most, even the ones where her little baby’s dressed up like a clown, face paint and all. She thinks about them, both of them, often. There isn’t a moment where they aren’t on her mind.
Deji utterly loathes Tratos and bears no genuine interest in him aside from his status and the assets that come with him and his power as the church's High Priest. He's been plotting his plans on how he will go about surpassing him, shunning him, and taking his position as high priest. A plan that's been in the works for almost half a year. He intends to liberate the people of the church, more specifically Hope and Latona, of the perpetual, outdated, and warped cycles they’ve become so overly compliant to. He believes the church is in need of a total reformation, something more of his own pace… something his own way. He can’t make his true intentions clear to anyone of course in fear of his hard work being utterly ruined, so being the reliable liaison will have to settle for now. He'll pull the rug right from under his feet, wrap the wool right over both his eyes the moment when his glistening opportunity catches his eye. Deji won’t and refuses to stoop as low as the levels that Tratos’ grovelers plummet to in order to please and serve him, he will not subject himself to be another man’s fool. So far, having been entangled in black-rom with him for a short while seemed to get the ball rolling smoothly. He’s certain Tratos is incredibly bitter about their quadrant falling through, he won't even so much as acknowledge him anymore when they cross paths, and that's fine by him. He'll have to talk to him eventually. He had always intended for it to remain brief, anyway. No real feelings were ever attached and he hopes whatever feelings Tratos may have had that may have manifested into more from their relations are completely severed. He's got better things to worry about and other people to tend to. That doesn't mean his feelings of pure unromantic hatred aren't still there, however. If anything, they've only intensified. One day, Reverend Iscara will atone for his plentifully accumulated sins and Dejani will be the one to make him beg forgiveness, prostrated before his very feet, reciting his praises, reparations, and all his wrongdoings at once. With time, he’ll be known rightfully as Reverend Moirai and the name Tratos Iscara will only be a memory to the people he once knew. Tratos should thank him, since truly he’d be doing him a wonderful favor.
I believe that churchmouse has managed to become lost in all of this. He has been here much, much longer than I, and it is blatant to even some non-believer like me that his faith has been led astray and quite frankly, stolen for quite some time. I have a suspicion he's only cemented here by overly complicated personal relations and obligations he no longer wishes to fulfill. Obligations to people who smile in his face one moment just to turn around and belittle and speak ill of him with the same tongue in the very same breath. They're draining his essence. He feels too much for others. I also know about his… for lack of a better word, "entanglements", with Father Iscara through the disloyal mouths of his aforementioned over divulging and serpentine sisters just to further prove my point for what little regard and respect that they have for him. I can tell he is honest and intends to do no wrong by anyone, so it truly perplexes me how they can show such blatant disdain for this pitiful boy. They’ve practically shunned him. He seems far too meek to do anything detrimental or even remotely larger than himself, really. His feebleness is merely a casted shadow looming over the true potential that is within him that has yet to be witnessed, whether he chooses to acknowledge his strengths or not. There is great strength and contempt within him, I'm sure of it. I will work it out of him myself in time. I don’t wish to cause any bodily harm to little churchmouse, I’ve grown quite fond of him honestly, but if I am left no other choice, I'll have to go about my ways by other more assertive means if necessary. And I really don't want it to come down to that, but he's proven to be close mouthed and stubborn at the worst of times. Even the smallest of rain clouds have to release their rain eventually. I will get him his entitled justice first. He may not necessarily like the ways I go about it, but I reassure it is all in his and everyone else who happens to be in my good graces best interest.
Phemos doesn’t speak much with Deji, or has many opportunities to at all. He’s grateful for it, in a sense, as he’s always found him very intimidating. He’s easily the tallest person Phemos knows and it’s so easy to be afraid of him. He’s seen how Deji is with the grubs, however, especially with Latona’s baby fuchsia. Or, Deji’s baby too now, he guesses? Any way it is, it was surprising definitely, to see someone like him–covered in scars and so, so scary–being so gentle and doting. Phemos thinks its nice he has a softer side to him, but absolutely cannot shake the tenseness he feels near him.
It’s a shame what happened to him, with his chucklevoodoos and all. He was still sensible enough when I knew of him. It was only a matter of time before things took its toll. His own abilities were just too strong for him and he never knew when to quit. Pitiful state he's in now, someone ought to put him out of his misery. It’s cruel to let him keep living this way in such a state.
I get shivers in his presence. He is odd and familiar, but I do not like him. Up to something no good. Scary and strong, no good here. No good at all. Bad man.