Rennuid Tathviel's Links
...I was... enraptured by the idea of being special. Of being part of something unusual and meaningful. I wish I'd been the only one to pay for it.
Would it have been so hard to stay the way we were?
With me you were greatest of them all, Rennuid. Didn't that mean something to you?
..we met. That was Aesaelion's work.
We didn't speak directly.
Old dead dust. That name's a synonym for foolishness.
I brought this on you. I brought this on our entire family. What in the world makes you think I'd be any good for fixing it?
I went to a lot of trouble to bring you back, and I've a damned good reason for it. I'm going to fix all this.
He spared my life.
For a long time, that was all I could think about. The things I've said to him... much of it doesn't bear repeating. Wretched things. There were times I tried to make him despise me, so that I could feel like I had permission to die. There were times where all I wanted was for him to be beside me. There were times...
...Goodness, he was a saint to put up with it all.
I would never take back what I did - neither slaying that beast, nor taking Rennuid with me, when I left that wretched chamber behind. Let us leave it at that.
..Aesaelion tells me that I made for a frightening spirit. He often speaks as if I should <i>remember</i> all that -- I, do not. What I remember...
...I...
...N, no, I don't think I remember anything, truly. It's like trying to grasp onto an old dream...
...no one is ever, ever, going to talk about it. I know that. He did things that hurt-- his kids. Um. ..Us. He wasn't evil, and sometimes I think he was able to care more than it seemed.. but, still, he shouldn't have... Mm.
I'm sorry. I don't know if I can really explain it that well. Uh.. ...Do you know that feeling, when someone asks you questions that it seems unfair for them to want you to answer...?
It's.. a little like that. I feel like I'm the only one who ever acknowledged it was happening, but I <i>know</i> I wasn't the only one who was.. scared, sometimes, when he'd.. say things.
I'm sure I sound petty. Sometimes I do miss him.
. _ .; i don't have any real problems for some reason i just? hate going home? haha