crimsonalloy's Links
Catty, Catty, Catty... wowie, you're so worked up! That's great! Would you like some stimulants to continue this high? Oh, I have just the potion for you! There's just ooone final ingredient I need, so off we go~ Don't be so glum, chum! Food is tastier when you gather the ingredients yourself, don't you know? Papa said so. Fresh air and exercise -- it's much nicer than this dark and dreary room! Calisthenics... slimesthenics! Thirty minutes a day keeps the end of the world at bay! You'll have a fun story to tell Nana later, so come on, hurry!
Must she remodel my room every time she visits? (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ I'm aware Cecelia means well, but that's no excuse! She can only feign being woefully ignorant for so long, she should have learned by now! It's reached the point that I wonder if she secretly despises me, as is the natural inclination for all Eldritch life to oppose each other. It's more believable than her flimsy "diagnoses" of my "condition." We're both well aware that "insidefortoolongitis" isn't a real disease, and for that matter, how would being dragged into that accursed hellscape she calls the "outside" help? If she wants to bother me so much, she can plant herself in the corner like a good child and wait for me to finish. Patience wouldn't hurt that technologically inept noob, SMH ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ
Should I raise my head? Bow? Offer my dearest respects to our "beloved" president? Oh, pardon, ex-president. Everyone seems to /love/ her for one reason or another, but I find her obnoxious. Just who is she trying to satisfy with that goody-goody act of hers? It certainly isn't herself, and it isn't the people she helps. So annoying. Someone like her needs to learn some selfishness. Oh well, it's not my place to say, and besides. It's hard to hate a girl that can hold her liquor. Really, drinking /that/ heavily in broad daylight, right in front of everyone's faces? The least she could do is invite me next time. We could have a nice little chat and bond over our miserable families.
Khalfani-san is quite aggressive, rude, and quite jaded. I learned from one of the school library’s computers that “someone, especially posting on the internet, who uses shocking and nihilistic speech and opinions that they themselves may or may not actually believe to gain attention and come across as a more dangerous and unique person” is known as an “edgelord.” I find that this suits her quite aptly. Also, I can’t help but find similarities with Kaichou-san. Maybe that’s why they butt heads so. It’s a shame… they could topple nations in the unlikely scenario that they worked together, I think. I don’t think she likes me very much. Perhaps because I seem to be close with Kaichou-san? Regardless, I hope that she still sees me as someone she can ask for assistance when she needs it.
She used to be the old president, and I definitely see how. She's got this real dependable aura about her, like you can talk to her about anything. It'd definitely be way harder to manage the others without her. The only thing that really bothers me is her face. No, wait, shit, I can say that better. Um, her expression, yeah. She always helps people, but it never really looks like she enjoys it, you know? And I always see her buried in her studies when she's not busy with council work. Like she has no time for herself. Does she even have any hobbies? Is she really happy like that? I dunno, maybe I'm just overthinking it. I'd like to see her smile at least once though.
Ramirez-san… reminds me of a chemical catalyst. Quiet and unassuming on his own, but in the right environment… boom. A regular day of filing student feedback forms, then just add Ramirez-san… then I’m helping a fuming Kaichou-san dab juice out of her school blazer. He seems like a good person, though… he’s excellent when it comes to organizing the top shelves.
M-miss Ikiru is- ah, no, wait, should I do it how the Japanese do...? What was it? Um, surnames, so Hijiri? Miss Hijir- no, they use honorifics too, right? Ah, what was it again...! H-hijiri-san is someone who I respect! She reminds me of the Beauty from Beauty and the Beast! She works hard, is well respected, and has a simple beauty! She likes learning, and I don't know much about Asian fairytales, s-so I was hoping we could trade what we know! I just want to try and be useful, but that might be too hard for someone like me... Wait, I said -san, but isn't it supposed to be -chan?...Marine you idiot...!
Isaksen-san…she’s very cute, isn’t she? Like a fairy. Though, true fairies are not so much cute as they are chaotic. She’s always studying a book of fairytales. I’ve been looking forward to discussing stories and exchanging recommendations with a fellow bookworm, but she seems quite reluctant to talk. Rather, she seems like she’s in constant agony. Is it my face? I’ve been trying to become more approachable based on Kaichou-san’s feedback, but I’ve evidently a long way to go. Haaah…
Ruru's, like, the best. Could a girl even ask for a better best friend? She's totes too nice for her own good, or more like, she tries too hard to be nice? She's cute, but she'd be drop dead if she just let me put some makeup on. One of these days for sure, I'll put some mascara and lipstick on her even if I have to die trying. She's also really smart, but in a kind of a dumb way? Like, she's a trivia wiz, but she's not really street smart? It's totally sheltered princess vibes, especially with how formal she is. It's soooo adorbs. She just needs to open up her shell more! How is she ever gonna get a boyfriend if she always has that same dull look on her face, ugh, that girl. I guess some guys like that too, but come /on/.
Kaichou-san escapes comparison to any literary or mythological figure. In my view, she’s remarkably a normal high school girl. So I suppose she’s like the heroine of a shojo manga. Though, does this mean I should bully her in order to push her and the male lead (Ramirez-san) together? I don’t really want to, but I’ll try my best if it’s for her sake. Ah- makeup? No thank you. Regardless of how “smoking” I would look with mascara, I am here to gain an education, not a spouse. I appreciate your looking out for me, however.
Miss Hijiri! Ever the model student. I hear only good things! And her run as president was smooth, if also nothing to write about. It's not a bad thing, rather, I think no major changes fits her. She's at a difficult crossroads in her life, like most students her age. Does she pursue her own dreams, or does she pursue the dreams of the collective she was born into? Neither is necessarily wrong, but in terms of her own happiness I can't say which would be best. All I /can/ say is that her parents have expressed disapproval at her enrollment more than once, and demanded her immediate expulsion and safe return home. It's almost funny, how they really think they're capable of anything.
Headmaster Ragnanival… he stands at the apex of magical academia. He handles the stature of his position with grace and skill. Furthermore, I can study what I want, regardless of what my family might say. It’s something that can’t compare to his many other accomplishments, but it’s something I’ll be forever grateful for.
She doesn't like me very much. I can't say I blame her, but her reasons are totally perverted. You can only go so long until you're just being unreasonable. Sins of the father and all that. It's not like I want her to like me either. I just want to make sure she leads an okay life. It doesn't have anything to do with her replacing my younger sister, or trying to replace her older brother. It's my responsibility for the dead I left behind. Simple as that. Having said all that, a girl her age still thinking about her brother so often is more than a little concerning. Good grief. At least she's made some good friends.
Why are you asking me about someone with whom I have no association?
Hmm, what'd mister big hero do this time? Save a bus full of kids? Rescue a kitten from a tree? Help a granny screw in a lightbulb? He's so sweet it makes my teeth hurt. As a sweet, benevolent guide, it's sometimes frustrating when he doesn't understand why charging in is a stupid idea~ or that sparing someone who tried to kill you is going to come back to haunt you~ such complicated concepts make that cavity between his ears start SMOKIN'~ That oafishness definitely doesn't make me wish I could strangle him or hit him in the back of the head with a rock. I'm stuck in this phone, after all! Widdle Seven couldn't even hurt a fly~
Her attitude isn't very SMOKIN', and neither is how she does things, but she's a good girl! It's hard to tell since she says all those uncool things, but she only says them because she cares so much. Hmm, I totally see it, she just wants the people she talks down to do better. Don't worry, number eleven! Even if no one else can see it, I totally get you! As your dear friend and colleague, I'm happy to help you lead the SMOKIN' lifestyle and clear up any misunderstandings!
Cherri-senpai, come here, come here! Seven wants to show you something! Lay your hand on the phone -- yes, like that! Ehe, it's like our hands are touching. It's a "luck come here" charm, to bless your future rolls. Are you ready~? As if. At this rate, you're just gonna gamble away what little future you have left. Hopeless. Hey, I'm gonna vomit, so make yourself useful and get me some blood, yeah? Oh, you're actually getting it? You're such a glutton for punishment~ are you suuure you don't secretly like being treated this way? Kuhu, this is why you're my favorite♡
I thought running into 7/11-chan was a turn of fortune. Like, "woah, another Nana for me, score! My Nana points have doubled, now I'm sure my luck's through the roof!" but she's a total menace! My psyche can only deal with so much, you know!?!? Why is she so mean!?!? She's only ever nice when she wants something, and damn it if it she isn't really good at it! Aaaah, anything for you Nanashi-chan~, I'll throw away my life savings to see your smile!...Wait, what was I complaining about again? Whatever! No wait, I remember! She needs to treat her friends better! It doesn't hurt you to give some fanservice sometimes! Like a compliment! Or a smile! Or a panty-shot!
"I do think I would be quite lost without dear Patrizio! As a Ruler, not much would be different, no... but having somebody to share your secrets soothes the soul, and we share quite a special secret. Not to mention all our other little secrets, buried deep underground now... yes, Patrizio is really quite invaluable. In return for his assistance over the years, I hope to make him the best-dressed crime boss in all of history!"
Estelle, Emily, Duchy, no mater the name she takes on, she remains the same at her core. It bothered me whenever I looked at her at first. It felt like looking in a mirror. An oddly attractive, spider shaped mirror. The thing with mirrors is, once they're cracked, they're ruined forever. In Duchy's case, I think it adds to her charm. Would she really be as attractive without the crippling depression and family trauma? Haha!... No, that's me being self-deprecating. Older sisters truly are the worst, aren't they?
Pat's... weee~ll, we get along. Isn't it fun how much of a grandpa he is too? Getting him to say things he doesn't understand, fufu~
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D-did I really teach him to abuse the elderly like this? Where did I go wrong in raising him... Pat isn't so bad though! He's just boring, like all old people and anyone who wears glasses! There's barely any good vermin on him at all, so what's the point?
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That's how you gauge people, huh? But I wouldn't say that. He has plenty of perversion to him, it just flows differently. It's like, he's willing to do so much for others, but not himself. He's the type to throw himself into a fire to keep others warm~ It's the kind of thing someone would want in an onii-chan, but the way he doesn't care about himself might be a bit much? That's a kind of lie too, isn't it? The kind we tell others so they don't worry about us. But I wonder, does anyone /really/ worry about him, or are they just worried about their ticket to freedom? Jealousy, maybe, from the one that can leave freely? Hmmmm~ If nothing else, it's always fun visiting him. His whole domain is basically like one giant continuous soap opera.
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Those old ladies take bingo so seriously, the last time it was a full-on knife fight. I guess when you repeat the same thing over and over, they have to do different things to spice it up. But was the giraffe really necessary? A giant rat would have been much cuter!
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How /did/ they fit that in the bingo hall anyway?
“Perhaps when he was younger, the little king may have been considered ‘cute.’ However, he has opted to go down an inelegant, graceless path in which he heaps lie upon lie to accomplish some senseless agenda. This one does not claim to understand miserable little wretches and their mongrel companions, though it makes sense that those unfit for life huddle together for a semblance of warmth in a world that would reject them the way a body would expel a poison. But alas, this one acknowledges that those who live between two boundaries may pull strength from both sides rather than be crushed to death by them, so milord best proceed cautiously. Avoid stepping too close lest the stench rub off on you.”
If it isn't Minato-/kun/. He hasn't changed, even since I was young. Still serving others. Talk about perverted, right? -- Kai, maybe you should be careful around him? -- It'll be fine. True, he's a kitsune, but all he knows at this point is servitude. Also mass destruction and totally decimating his enemy, maybe being careful wouldn't be a bad idea... Anyway, actually kinda regret having Ariel deal with him, if I had just swooped in first like originally planned I would have had him in my camp and we would have scored ourselves a new pet. Pretty damn perverted off me to mess that up. Now instead I have to deal with him turning all my soldiers into insects. Sheesh, such a hassle. -- You dummy! This is what you get for not listening to me and being lazy! We were this close to being able to see his cute bug collection! Not to mention having our own handsome kitsune butler! And you had to go and ruin it, ugh. I guess it’s not all bad. Your attitude’s so poor that he’d turn you into a bug on the first day, and then I’d have to help. Again. You’re a real handful sometimes, you know that? -- Oopsie~, how clumsy. Tee hee~ Either way, it doesn't change the end-goal. Just raises the difficulty for us. His perversion is at maximum value, but if we went all in we could still crush him with our "lies" before he has a chance to react. Probably. Hopefully? Maybe definitely. --- Geez. You’re so carefree that it makes me feel stupid for worrying so much.
“He’s a daunting guy who makes lively conversation with thin air. He accuses people of doing incredibly heinous things... seriously, what’s with that, I’ve never even... I shouldn’t let myself get flustered, though. Isn’t that all just projection, really? Like, what he’d do if he was in my position... wait, that means that HE’D... oh, boy. Patrizio’s strangely tight-lipped about him too, unlike when we were against Kurosaki. And, the genuine love the folks here have for him, it’s all a bunch of puzzle pieces that don’t even look like they’re in the same set. I have a rough idea of what we can do but it’s a flimsy plan at best without more information. For now... let’s keep him from being alone with Ariel.”
Yo, it's the lady-killer himself. You think he always kills on the first date? --- Killing on the first date!? That's so lewd! That's at least a third date thing! He didn't even bother holding her hand or whispering their eternal hatred for each other! Make sure not to follow this floozy's example, Kai! --- Right? Talk about a perverted first impression. You think he's planning on killing his boss too? It'd only be to his benefit, really. Practically already running the place. Is the sex really that good that'd he just follow her so willingly? Or is he just a total masochist? So boring. Well, whatever. I heard he's good at underwater blindfolded 10D chess, so I wanted to try that out. See which one of us is the better planner, or at least better at holding their breath. Either that or have a cook off. Actually, you think we could do both? --- Denied! I warned you about stacking that many lies before! We don't want another repeat of what you did back in 1999! --- I thought we promised not to talk about why they call me the Giraffe Grafter. Anyway, it'll be fine~. Like you said, it’s not the first time we stacked up that many lies. We can just cook up some passing by fish while blindfolded underwater and playing chess in the tenth dimension. It'll be funny, trust me.
Russet finds Shikai to be somebody who speaks often but says little - in short, the type of person she dislikes the most. She has little patience for psychoanalytical prattle and if he were not so dangerous an enemy, she would simply just filter out his voice from the world. She gets the sense that he wouldn't stop talking just because she punched him in the throat, and that for all he talks, he is not /just/ talk. Such a situation makes her feel powerless, which puts her on edge.
Why doesn't she go "Russ" herself off the nearest cliff. Hey-oooo- no, no actually that was bad. --- D-don’t worry Kai! I thought it was funny! Look, I’m laughing! Haha, hahaha… (trying her best to support him even though she thinks it’s the worst joke she’s ever heard) --- Ugh... having you comfort me makes it feel worse. Horrible nicknames aside, aphasia's an interesting disease. She strikes me as someone with expressive, which is fortunate when it comes to its interaction with "lies." Incidentally, she's just about the most expressive gorilla I've ever seen, and the trickiest. Is there any point in having your guard up so high all the time? Seriously, just what kind of perverted event is she expecting to happen to her? A perfect stranger strolling up to her and tricking her into her cat mode forever? No way, that'd never happen. --- Woohoo! Let's turn her into a kitty! Then you'd have someone else to play with! But can you even care for a pet? Without me, you wouldn’t even be able to take care of yourself... --- Woof woof. --- He became a pet himself!? The enemy's too strong, we have to retreat! Just kidding! She's weaker than Alexei, but it doesn't hurt to be careful! You never know, she might be too stupid for lies to work on her at all! Those gorilla types can get like that! --- Hmmm, I hadn't thought of that. But that'd be interesting to see too. I've always been interested to see if someone could physically wrestle their way out of a lie. Just hard German suplex it. That'd be fun to watch. A strong-willed girl like that could probably pull it off.
"Hmm, if it meant a peaceful resolution then I'd happy marry you! ...I say that, but it's kind of embarrassing to be laid so bare. What happened to those bygone days when I was called 'a silly little girl out of her depths?' It feels like just yesterday, but at the same time it feels like an eternity ago. As for Mister Shikai himself, it feels like he's saying all that stuff to get a reaction. Like he's bug-testing a video game and trying to stretch the universe to its limits, or something like that. Or like we're all his dream and he's got only one foot in this reality. How can someone like that be so ambitious, I wonder. What makes him really happy? What drives him to put one foot in front of the other? Is he coming after me for the same reason that his colleagues did? I don't think that's the case. How weird, I want to know more about him. In another world, maybe we'd be kindred spirits, but here it's a pipe dream. To be perfectly honest, he's not even really my end goal. I've got so much more ahead of me to get to him. So, Shikai, I'll definitely show you what I'm willing to do to survive all this."
If it isn't the most perverted person in our tale, the main character herself. So, let's get married. -- E-e-eh? Jumping right to marriage, before even a first date!? My Kai’s grown up so fast, too fast even! I didn’t raise you this way, you floozy! I admit she’s cute, but you can’t let hormones push you towards your first love like that! And at least get to know her before you propose! You can’t just marry your family’s murderer out of the blue like that either! No, that’s probably why you want to... -- Haha, don't worry Maya, I just wanted to see how she'd react. She is pretty cute though, it's no wonder she has all those people wrapped around her thumb willing to die for her. You think if I was half as cute as her I'd have an easier time tricking people? -- No way! You’d still find a way to be a creep about it and mess it up! -- Ouch. Seriously now. She's quite the enigma, isn't she? Doing all /this/ for some boy that doesn't even exist? Killing dozens upon dozens, all for some imaginary boyfriend? Honestly thought I was the only one perverted enough to do something like that. But I wonder, does this imaginary friend of hers feel the same way? Would /he/ destroy the world to protect her? Does he even want her to do these kinds of things? That's what we call a yandere, pretty hot if you ask me. But it's also what makes her such a threat, yanderes are no joke. Just ask all the bodies she's put in the ground, three capos included. Will I end up just being the final stepping stone in her journey? --- Don’t worry Kai, I'll keep you safe! But, isn't this girl too much of a cheater!?! She's not even playing the game herself! She's just getting carried by all her followers! And what's with those crazy magic items!?! Aren't we supposed to be the biggest cheaters, how come she gets stuff like that even we don't have!? Grrrr, floozies like her are the worst! The hussy of crime! --- Relaaaa~x, it'll be fine. We don't need them, they might as well be worthless to our lies. Is what I said, but hmmmm. Personally, I don't think I'd lose, but I'm perverted enough to be fine with either outcome. Maybe I could join her camp? --- Kai... --- Yeah, you're right, it'd never work. One of us has to die. Shame, I would have liked to keep playing with her. Wonder if she feels the same? Probably not, but at the least I'll make sure she never forgets me. One way or the other.
Kai-kun, eating only pizza and junk food is no good! You have to eat your vegetables too~ Surely, you can do that for me, right? You're KOI's favorite fan, after all~ Look, it's even nice and mild so it goes down easily! Say "aah~" That's a good boy! I'll be sure to send you the limited-edition deluxe Blu-Ray of my next live! You've made your onee-chan really happy! -Ah. What did you just call me? …Goodness, there that boy goes. He used to bite me when he was younger, but he’s grown up into a splendid adult, I’m so proud! Though, sometimes I worry. Isn’t he too old to be fed now? Though I don’t mind, of course~ an idol has to take care of her fans and family~ the odd thing is, Fei-san says he normally eats them fine when he’s around the others! So mysterious~
Aiyu? Or is it KOI, maybe? Which one are you right now, I wonder? Just kidding~ It's obvious to tell. What else is there to say about her? Everyone knows her, she's the lovely eternally eighteen idol that we all adore. And, of course, my beloved oneeeeee~chan. All I want is for her to keep smiling. That’s an idol’s job, after all. Kyun, kyun, KOI love~.
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KOI love~. Her music’s nice and bubbly! I love seeing her perform! It makes me want to try and be an idol too!
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Way ahead of you. I've already planned our idol debut and our name. We'll be… RAT, leading others on to believe our every word so we can brainwash them with our lies to get all their money~.
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That last line is way too long!!! And aren't you just copying auntie?! You'll get flamed for being a cheap copycat!
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Maybe if we change the line to RAT, capitalism~...
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That's not the problem! Being an idol is her thing! We can't step on her toes like that after she's worked so hard! Crossing themes between the capos is a big no-no!
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You make a good point. Crossing themes would just make for confusing branding.
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Exactly!
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Back to onee-chan. She's certainly kept up the act for long, hasn't she? Talk about perverted. But if it’s what keeps her happy, who cares? The gloomy girl, the bubbly idol, they’re both equally precious. Some would say a woman her age, eighteen of course, being an idol is gross, but I say that’s part of the appeal. If you ask me, it's this obsession on "young" that's more perverted than anything. In America, there's still obaa-sans like her that are nearing their fifties, and they're still just as loved as perfo- oops.
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K-K-Kai! You've said something you shouldn't have! I can hear the sirens ringing now! The hag's gonna come for you! Eep! I called her a hag too, we’re both doomed!
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Waaaaaaah, onee-chan's gonna come to punish us now! Oh nooooooo~. Forgive us, onee-chan! I promise to buy all your primo merch and your VIP tickets! I'll even make you breakfast for the next week! Moe moe kyun~, become docile!
One day, Kai Guang approached my older brother and declared they were best friends. And my brother accepted it, just like that. Is this how boys operate? Moreover, is there anything he can provide that I can’t? …I suppose I am just sour. I don’t like to share, but I’ll do whatever makes Alexei happiest, so I can play nice. The way Kai treats my brother is sufficient, so I have no complaints there. Friends? Don’t say such naive things. I’m not as nice as Alexei, after all. I just don’t want my brother to make a troubled face because his best friend was caught being a duplicitous snake. As long as helping him out provides more benefit than cost, I don’t mind if he asks me for favors. If you tell anyone about this, I’ll ensure you don’t wake to see the next morning, by the way.
Yahoooo~, it's Alesya! How's it going, guuuuurl! Hmm, was that strange? I thought I'd try a new greeting I saw recently to see how Alesya would react. She's always just so stone-faced, you know? Moreso than her brother. So closed off, so cold. Doesn't she know it gets so very lonely putting up a facade and lying all the time?
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She’s always covered in so many insects, is she really okay like that? Doesn’t it get tiring? But if you ask me, a person’s only as cute as the amount of vermin that crawl on them! Just ask Kai, he would know best! He’s a good for nothing that only knows how to lie! Isn’t that right, Mr. There's no monster under the bed!
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Come on, you’re still mad about that? Everything I say is true though~ But point taken. If you ask me, she tries too hard. Stop being so perverted, gurl~ Relax a little. What's the point of looking that far into the future? Everything's a lie anyway. Nothing matters. Why not stop being such a busybody and playing the two-timing sister, and go back and have a lovely honeymoon with your brother in that castle? That's what would make him happiest, you know.
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H-honeymoon?! Two siblings doing that, unacceptable!
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Why not? Incest is all the rage these days.
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Who cares about that! I mean how that homewrecker is getting in the way of my ideal of Alexei x Kai! If anyone should be cuddling to stay warm in the cold of Russia, it’s them!
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That’s what you were mad about...?
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Duh! Everyone knows incest is all the rage! Who’d be mad about that?
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I knew you’d see it my way. Ah well, it's up to Alesya. If she ever wants pointers, I don't mind lending a hand. All I'd ask is that she let me hold that snake of hers. Or maybe getting bit by it would feel good too?
Kai is my best friend. Yes, that’s all. What else needs to be said? …? He’s my best friend because he’s my best friend. His good points? …All. …He’s smart. He speaks well. He’s stylish. He doesn’t admit it, but he likes taking care of people as much as he likes playing pranks on them. Actually, he’s very similar to Alesya. How? Because I very much want them to be happy.
I've been thinking this for a while now, but... wouldn't Alexei look lovely in a tight-fit black shirt? What a shame that the cold of Russia forbids it.
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Bzzzzzt!
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Oh. Was the answer supposed to be that you'd look lovely in a tight-fit black shirt? But that goes without saying, you'd look lovely in anything.
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Wroooong! It’s that he’d look better in a tight-fit black shirt with you in it! You both share the shirt, duh!
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Eh? Is that how you see us? Really now, how perverted. Sounds fun though. Back to my best friend. He might throw you off with how he'll choke someone out for the thrill of it, or have an entourage of living corpses at nearly all times, but he's surprisingly cute. The way he goes along with everything I say, the way he caters to his sister so much, the way he scrunches up his brows whenever he gets confused, the way he gets around animals. He's just so pure, hardly any bit of being a pervert at all. If only he'd smile more. I'm sure he'd be able to rule just through the charm of that alone. It surely charmed that sister of his.
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I’m glad to see him get along with Kai. He’s so misbehaved, it’s hard for him to make friends! But! Wouldn’t it be nice to see them be more than friends!? More than best friends even!?
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Hush you. Really though, it's all such a treat to watch. He's almost like a puppy. A big, murderous puppy.
Beth, what sort of devilry are you referring to? Truly, you are fortunate to have Miss Sera around to look after you. Besides, If I wished to court a boy, I would invite him out on a walk to the park and I would allow him to purchase me a bouquet of white roses, as is the proper way. Sometimes you say the strangest things. Apart from Papa, Beth is the first real friend I've ever had. He is quite the catch, isn't he? Hohoho. Beth is as good with human connections as I am with everything else. He's as good at Papa when it comes to making me feel better, in the extremely rare occasions when I am feeling down. I can't wait to become Rex Anima and also the world's first trillionaire, so that I can properly take care of my "bestie!" It's not like he needs my help, since he has his sister! But I'll help anyway!
Which card is she? The Sun, duh. I mean, it's literally her name! No matter how much she fails, she's always shining bright and never gives up. That's my bestie for you! I'm happy to support her with anything, but don't you think that boob window is way too scandalous? Totally the kind of thing you wear to flash the boy you like, right? Cover up, girl! She's so innocent and proper that it makes me worry sometimes, but that's part of her charm too. She's so pure it's refreshing, like a cup of ice-cold water. Though I /have/ thought about corrupting her once or twice. Teehee. Relaaax, I'm just joking. I'd never do that to my bestie <3 Probably. It might be funny, but I value our relationship way too much, and the audience wouldn't like it, would they?
Hmmmppppphhhh... dogs are better anyway! Dogs are friendly, loyal, noble creatures, nothing like cats and their... their impertinence! Good luck making friends with an attitude like that, missy! Uuuu, I tried really hard this time to make a good impression. What did I do to mess up this time, that even a child could see through me? Maybe this is the difference between a real Rex Anima and a fake... Should I ask Beth for help this time? No, I can't rely on him for everything... as the future headmaster, I can't let let my own pride get in the way of helping a possibly vulnerable student! Yosh, I'll try again after I recharge my batteries!"
"Hmph, this lowly peasant has some audacity for trying to offer /us/ advice, when she herself hardly has the basics down. N-not that we do not appreciate the offer, we are simply saying that she should brush up her own incompetence before attempting to offer any sort of guidance. If she so wishes, we do not mind teaching her these things."
--
So says our mistress, but as usual she is warping the truth. We believe young Nana terms it as "tsundere?" If only our mistress was more honest with herself and this girl, then perhaps their friendship wouldn't be so much like a cold war.
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"What am I not being honest about!? Doesn't she have any sort of self-awareness, how is she supposed to teach me anything when she can barely pass the basic exam! How did she even get into the advanced class like that!? "
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That is what we mean, our mistress. Perhaps think of it from her perspective? You may be a genius, but are still a child. She wished to care for you and make sure you are comfortable in this unfamiliar environment, where its traditions are yet unknown. Yet, instead of accepting her generosity, you insulted her kindness. Most unlike a true Pharaoh would, we must say.
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"Hnnnnngh, my ancestors...! Fine! She's... I wish to be better friends with her! There! But /only/ if she acknowledges her place!"
--
Sigh, we suppose that's good enough for now. Truly, our mistress, you can be so difficult sometimes.