🌈 LGBT+ OCs discussion thread

Okay, thank you so much!

Hello! I'd like a little bit of assistance with one of my characters, and I hope someone here knows a little about the subject. 0:

One of my OC's that I have been developing for years now has had a significant change this year, I have decided that I want Lane to be aromantic.

Now, I have done my own research on this matter, and even got involved with the content people who identify as such. Still, I am no expert, and I want to do this right so that people who are aromantic might perhaps identify with my character. I want to be able to give a good representation, but I am not sure if I'm doing it right.

Long story short about Lane: He is part of a group of people who are able to mutate, however, he is a permanent mutant. The reason for this and the problems it brings are what his story goes about. There is a fact that I believe is very important to mention, and that is that Lane has been practically locked in since he was around 7 or 8 years old, due to different reasons at different times. This has, of course, affected the way he socializes. Even though he is naturally an extrovert, he became quiet, distrustful and defensive; Lane is capable of normal conversation, but his poor engagement is the situation here. My first issue with writing his aromantic identity is: How do I make it clear that his detachment from other people is NOT the reason he is aromantic?

It is precisely at age 19 that he starts to develop his social skills more, makes friends, and finds happiness. And it is now that someone proposes feelings for him and he is at a loss of how to answer to. For starters, this person is younger than him (16), and this happens when he has already turned 20, so naturally he feels uncomfortable because he is more than a legal adult now. Not only that, but the fact that he is a permanent mutant carries problems in the long term of his life. And lastly, he just can't feel the same way for that person, whom at this point he considers a friend. After he rejects them he goes home and speaks to his brother about it, and it is then when he realizes and confesses that he doesn't think he could ever feel "that way" about someone.

My second issue is of course, how does Lane confesses and feels. He has had some sexual encounter in the past, with people in his respective age, and there is a very specific instance he remembers where he had to apologize to someone who wanted "more". At the time he didn't understand his own feelings, and rather awkwardly stated he thought the whole thing was only a one night stand. And like in the present day, he felt bad for rejecting a person's feelings, only this time he's starting to think that maybe there isn't anyone he could ever feel that much commitment for. He even has a bit of a hard time understanding the way lovers work, the feelings just aren't available to him. In a way, he feels broken, and he actually believes it might be a side effect of his lack of social interaction (which, again, is not the reason).

His brother loves him and knows Lane is tired of hurting people (spoilers), so of course, he is as supportive as you expect him to be. He tells him that is just how he is, and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with who he is. That if he had had the chance to live a normal life, he would have probably felt the same way. And that people just need to learn how to accept it, so he shouldn't feel bad.

This is as far as I get with it, of course, his Aro identity isn't the focus of the story, it's just part of who he is. But when I explore it I want to do it right. If anyone here has an opinion on the matter, or with sources to where I can read from, that would be great and very much appreciated! Thanks for reading.

Pyatiugolnik Hi! Thanks a lot for responding. Your answer gave me lots of ideas and references I can make in my story, I'm very grateful!

And yes, apologies, perhaps it wasn't an issue, but a doubt I had with the direction I decided to take there. I understand people experience their identity differently, but I didn't want to be too off track either. Again, thanks for your help, it was absolutely inspiring and encouraging.

Hey I've got an idea kicking around, but there's a point that's been kinda bugging me for a while…  

Let's say there's some whacky high fantasy/ultra futuristic utopian setting where being trans isn't as big of a deal as it is in real life. People who figure out they're trans are generally supported by society, and with whatever high tech magic that's around, if they want to, they can physically transition to the point there's virtually no evidence they're even trans at all. There's no danger and no cost and nobody's suffering just bc they are trans. Nobody cares that you're trans and even if they did there's no way they could ever tell that you were, even in intimate scenarios. Ultimate wish fulfilment, babey :’^)

But… would characters like this be… “less trans”? Is there even any point in me mentioning that a character like this is trans, if their experience of being trans is so different to what it is irl? I'm not saying that being trans HAS TO revolve around suffering, but, in my own personal experience at least, that's a massive massive massive component. I'm also not saying that passing/being post-op makes someone less valid as a trans person either omg no not at all. I mean more like, if the setting a trans character belonged to was so much more accepting and so much more medically advanced that being trans wasn't such a daunting thing … is a character still valid as a trans character if their experience of being trans is largely impossible to relate to from a real-word standpoint?  

For clear context, I'm trans. But I have a lot of weird feelings about this. Making it this easy almost feels like I'm being too… cheap? It just feels kinda like I'm trying to get free relatability/woke points without having to consider the real impacts of actually being trans… or something. Or that I'm just letting my desire 4 escapism overrule common sense. I dunno :s but this thought has vexed me for a while and I'd rly appreciate some additional points of view ;o;

Aarix speaking as a nb person who also sometimes identifies as trans...bear with me because I have a lot of thoughts...

I do think it's cool to write about a cultural experience that resembles the irl experience of being trans in some ways but not others, and still refer to the characters as trans. I really see the world you're describing more as a prototype for an ideal future for trans people...which means, the characters are trans, as much as any trans person here and now irl—and what's changed, rather, is how they and their identities are viewed by society at large..

Besides, I mean, you still use the language of transitioning, so they must have lived some period of their life, however short, with an assigned gender that they didn't identity with. Unless my assumption's off-base, that means that some level of cisnormativity still exists in this universe, and perhaps dysphoria, even brief, is still a thing that means something. The label of "transgender" doesn't describe some completely nebulous concept.

But if it did, so what? 1. Like you said, trans people who have fully transitioned do exist, and pockets and spaces where being trans is completely accepted do exist, and these people, and the ones who frequent these spaces, are still trans. 2. Also like you said, lots of trans people exist who have never felt any suffering or discomfort because of that. You're aware of this, so you're also aware of the potential problems of saying these people are "less" trans. Imo I don't think the label is "cheap". You don't have to earn it. "Transgender" just describes the experience of not identifying with the gender you were assigned.

In my view? You should call them trans because it's Valuable to talk about these characters as trans people, even though they live in a culture that might make the meaning of that term slightly different—because that is the irl community who will care about/relate to the experience you describe in your setting, in part or in full.

And it clearly means something to you, a trans person, and I'll be the second to say that I would enjoy a world like that on the level of wish-fulfillment as well. I think that's a great indicator that the world has value specifically as a narrative for and about trans people.

Only thing I'd say is, maybe you'd want to balance it out by portraying a gradient of trans identities even in relation to the existence of "perfect" transitioning, e.g. different kinds and degrees of transitioning, or trans people who opt not to transition despite the existence of these procedures because they don't feel it factors into their gender identity.

[wipes sweat off brow] I hope that was helpful on some level!

As a side note...I definitely second guess the way I portray trans characters a lot as well, along similar lines. I have a lot of trans/nb characters who "pass" perfectly and look the way they want to, partly because portraying characters "not passing" can make me dysphoric myself. and I worry that that's too easy, or dishonest. But yknow what...it's my world and I'm making this for myself first and foremost, and my self takes joy and comfort in characters who live the life they want to and look the way they want to.

I don’t wanna interrupt anything but is it wrong to have most characters you own be gay/lesbian or trans?? ((said by a cis gal that’s also a panromantic lesbian))

circlejourney thank you so much for your input! 💕 You bring up some really good points here, and the point about there being a real grey area with people who don't want to transition is an especially valuable one which I definitely want to think about more now that you bring it up :0

I suppose being trans & writing trans characters is always gonna bring in that element of personal connection and a whole bunch of weird feelings that go with it.... dysphoria/guilt and what not, it's all weird to deal with & it's definitely what I'm wrestling with here... But you're right! At the end of the day, it's your writing, so you might as well write what makes you happiest (provided you're doing no harm (and really what's the harm in letting characters be happy zhzhshd)). This was really reassuring to read— thanks again :v

softy-soft I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with that at all. Also, because you're under the LGBT umbrella yourself, it stands to reason you're more interested in characters who are also LGBT. As long as you're not fetishising, I can't see any harm c:

Aarix Thank you!! Yeah there’s definitely no fetishizing here, I’m fetishized myself and howdy it’s actually a disgusting thing

I honestly feel like I have already made my decision when it comes to this issue, but I figured it'd still be the wise thing to do to ask here and see how others feel about this.

In Sinfonia the characters do talk about gender and it's not something that is totally ignored, but when it comes to one of my actual canon FtM character in it I feel like I should somehow really make it clear in-canon he's trans - but the thing is he doesn't want anyone else to know he's a trans man, and he's living stealth. The game is completely from the perspective of another student at the school, and although the two do interact with each other, I don't see the character telling such a personal detail about himself to the protagonist he isn't even a close friends with. I don't believe in the notion you can "see" who is trans just by looking at them either, and none of the characters who do know about him being trans would out him without his approval. 

I do have a character with a speaking role who isn't cis either, but I feel like there is this unwritten rule that all trans characters should be confirmed to be trans in canon because it doesn't count if it's just told in the meta (author comments, character profiles). Personally I don't feel right outing a character whose environment probably wouldn't take it super well if others knew, and he isn't the type who wants to discuss about it with others either, and so I'm kinda drawn between wanting to be transparent about him, and wanting to acknowledge the fact him being outed isn't something he wants. 

I'm personally leaning more towards simply not discussing it even at the expense of hearing complaints about it later, because outing even a fictional character just doesn't feel right to me if it puts them into a difficult and distressing situation in-canon. But yeah I figured since there are people who probably know more about things I figured it wouldn't hurt to hear other people's opinions! 

Beefy I feel like this type of information giving should be more or less implemented in the game pretty early on, because there isn't really anything else like this & all the other information found is pretty much gossip - which, again, I could use, but I feel like the character keeps this so well as a secret nobody really assumes anything and there aren't rumors. There is one mention about his reaction to a certain issue that people noted, but I doubt it's enough to really tell he's trans when anyone would get mad about it. 

THAT BEING SAID since I planned on adding some unlockable stories you unlock as you play (and thus you don't need to do anything special), I think I could use your idea by exploring the theme a bit more in a short story! It would honestly serve as a really interesting perspective to one of the main characters too so it's not just some sort of "boo here is a short story where I'm telling this character is trans so you people won't eat me alive" sort of bad excuse but an actual story contributing to the setting and characters, if you wish to read it. Also, I'm always more than happy to write extra about that boy because I love him and I love his interactions with the other characters tied to him. 

Thank you for your thoughts, it honestly helped me even though I couldn't implement it exactly in the way you suggested!! 

Caine

My two cents, I think the so-called rule that any character who is lgbt+ should be explicitly mentioned to be so in canon is really something that emerged in response to big name creators/corporations capitalising on "representation" they didn't actually put any work into (e.g. Rowling/Disney saying a character is gay but only after the story is published) and indie creators like yourself should not feel beholden to it, simply because you're not just including it for publicity and profit.

Like I still think explicit mentions are always a positive surprise, to me personally, but not doing it—if you didn't advertise your story as some groundbreaking champion of the subject—is not a sin in itself. Plus I think it's clear from how gender and self image are subjects of discussion in the story that your inclusion of a trans character who is only mentioned to be trans in extra material isn't just a way to sell your game (which, again, I don't think indie creators can ever be condemned for and shouldn't be held to the same standards as content creators whose works are consumed by millions are)

but if it does worry you, I guess there's still little things you can do to clue the reader in, implicit hints that paint a picture of the sort of social life/history a trans person might have (e.g. cut ties with people who knew him before transitioning and didn't accept him etc. Not necessarily this but you'll know your character's history better) without anyone outing him or him outing himself.