th/AmITheAntagonist

"She wouldn't have told me if—if I didn't do it," she exhaled, crossing her arms as she defensively hissed.

"Ooh, but I feel really bad about it. Okay, so," she muttered, glancing away.

"She hasn't been talking to me lately, so I took matters in my own hands. Now, her boyfriend is a huge asshole. If you part her fur enough, you could see the bruises on her arms. No one should be hurting their partners or trying to dictate their life. Anyways, she told me that he said that we couldn't talk anymore. I asked her why, but she literally just ignored me. No words uttered. So I, uhm..." Cinnamon paused, biting her lip.

"I grabbed her shoulder, telling her to stop being so soft and that I would punch his face the next time I saw him. She'd let him hurt her for too long. Her whole life revolves around him. Well, I assumed that he did something to her, so I kinda beat his ass. I didn't say anything, I just...let out all my anger. I feel like a major asshole." She exhaled before raising her head.

"It felt so good, but it was so, so wrong. What do you think?"

"It's better not to involve yourself in anything.", said the elf, rather bluntly.

"Like.. at all."

The blonde elf's face was soft and still. His eyes watched cautiously, observing the obvious distraught that plagued Cinnamon's face. If Chester didn't know any better -- being a lover of animals himself -- hisses and kisses were extremely touchy subjects. It wasn't as though Chester had never kicked himself in the butt before for not speaking up when he should have. Rather, Chester preferred to kick his butt in those rare moments when nobody else was around to could such a degrading spectacle.   And, even so, he'd grown far too timid to kick his own butt as viciously as the self-loathing puppycat before him.  In truth, the blonde joyelf didn't see much purpose in involving himself in the trials of others. And, if he just so happened to find himself hot on the trail of an ordeal, he wouldn't exactly dwell too much upon his name after he'd given his dismissive two cents. 

When Chester witnessed an injustice, he'd quietly nod along with whatever the general consensus was. This became known to him as the sacred art of self-preservation.  It was a lifestyle that Chester would naively offer to his peers, it was an ignorance -- a cowardice -- that Chester found himself comfortable in.

Chester outstretched his palm to Cinnamon's shoulder and gently rubbed her fur. His eyes were calm and kind. 

"...Regardless," he breathed, "some might find it imperative to ask yourself -- not others -- for or the answer to these kinds of things. The most you can do is keep asking questions until you're sick of hearing your own voice." 

Suddenly, he lifted his palm, biting his lip.

"Oh... I'm sorry. Did I ruin your coat?"  Chester awkwardly patted the fur back in place, mumbling to himself nervously before quietly shuffling away.

----------

"One time.." he whispered, for no obvious reason, "I saw my friend poke fun at himself in the mirror.  I mean, it looked like he was humoring himself. But when I reflect upon it more, I think I might've seen him talking down to himself. Weird, right? He seems like he's in good spirits most of the time, but part of me can't help but wonder why. He doesn't really look the part."

Chester rubbed his palms together nervously. 

"If I were... to, say, not approach him about his behavior, would that make me a poor friend? And, if so... should I find some reason to care?"

Although Krys was wearing a mask, one could practically feel the confused look they shot at the elf. It was also conveyed in most of their body language, going by the lopsided look of one antennae lifting while the other stayed low. It was mostly all over that last question.

Shaking their head, they signed, 'What kind of question is that? If you don't care then why are you asking? The fact that you even noticed something like that gives you reason enough, doesn't it?'

Honestly, this was kind of baffling to the bug. Also, it made them feel bad for Chester's friend. Imagine having a companion that was perceptive enough to notice something was wrong but then did nothing about it, and even had to ask if they should care! Poor man, maybe he should get new friends.

'Yes, you'd be a poor friend if you didn't address it and try to help him. If for some reason you still can't "find it in yourself to care" though, you should probably reevaluate yourself.' Wow, okay, a little harsh. But Chester asked Krys, and Krys was giving them their honest opinion. One should always care about their friends and loved ones, even if it was about little things. 

(okay everything down below is in 1st person but is written in the POV of Krys. really aimed for how the reddit thread worked lol)

In the forums of an online site, a new post appeared. The title was a little strange, which made it stand out a bit. It was titled and written out as followed:

AITA for making a customer uncomfortable by eating in front of them?

Okay I know the title makes this sound weird and a bit stupid. To be honest I think it's a little dumb myself but my coworkers thought it was rude and I shouldn't have done it.

To preface everything, I'm part of an insect species called kal'rots. I've immigrated from my native planet to the one I'm living at currently, where I work as a herbalist and gardener. I love my job here, but the thing is, most people around here are not used to insect people. The way that my people eat is very different compared to most reptilians and mammalians. We have a stinger that contains a type of acid that liquefies our food and we drink it through an orifice right under the stinger. It's just how my species work and I've never thought about it, besides there's arachnid species that do something similar I think? I just never thought it was a problem.

However, at work one day, I decided to eat something since I had been working in the greenhouse all day. It's absolutely fine to have snacks in my workplace as long as you're not dealing with a customer while eating. Well, I began eating and apparently a customer with a child saw me and decided she didn't like it. It didn't look like it bothered the kid but she covered their eyes like what I was doing something inappropriate. Then she started yelling up and down at me while saying I should be ashamed of myself. She wanted to see my boss for my "behavior" so I shrugged and got xem. 

In short, my boss wasn't impressed. Thankfully more at the lady than me. Xe just told her that employees are allowed to eat if they're not busy, then left to get back to xyr job. This lady was huffing and puffing but instead of leaving, she went back to shopping. Really wanted some of the plants we had, I guess. But now I was mad because wtf, I was just eating? 

So I did something kind of mean, where if I saw her, I'd slurp my snack really loud. It got to the point I was grabbing snacks and eating them just to spite her. Best part was I was the one to ring her items up. I shouldn't have but I also ate while I was ringing her up. 

Told some of coworkers and they thought I took it too far by eating just to make her uncomfortable. But I'm still mad about it. AITA?

"Hmmm... nah, you're not the asshole! You were jus' eating! I think you should keep doing that thing whenever you see her, get some nice revenge on her! Or you could eat even louder if she comes back!" 

(A thread shows up on a forum, with a similarly odd title. Whoever wrote it types like a ten year old.)

AITA for unfusing because I got bored???

Lemme explain. My brother and I are a species that can fuse together, and we do it a lot since we can get into places we normally couldn't when we're unfused (since we look older when we fuse) But today I got really bored of being fused since I saw something shiny. I broke the fusion so I could go look at it. Now my brother's mad at me?? He won't talk to me and when I ask why he gets pissy and says it's because i broke the fusion for a nickel. It was a really shiny nickel okay??? Anyways am I the asshole?

Vapor, this is honestly a bomb ass idea.]

He shifts in his seat, debating the question. Honestly, the whole fusing thing was slightly confusing. All he could think about was the 'get along' shirt that plagued the internet with meme after meme for years. Surely that wasn't what the poster was talking about, right? Then again, maybe it was just a fancy way of saying it? Or..no, no- as a hero himself, he had to keep an open mind that others had abilities too. 

'I don't.think you're the asshole? I can understand why he's upset, but you don't seem like you did anything wrong? Maybe you two can talk it out? Hope so, anyway?'

--

And only moments after his reply to another, he found himself scripting his own question. After scrolling through the site, it was hard not to wonder yourself. Were you an asshole in a certain situation that you just didn't think deeper about? Unbiased individuals surely could give a response, right? They had nothing to gain or lose. 

AITA for stopping my friend from climbing on a ferris wheel? 

It happened a few months ago, but I've been thinking about it? We were sitting on the ferris wheel and he started to crawl out, so I grabbed him. I apologized for touching him without his consent, but he said..I was being stupid for grabbing him and trying to pull him back down in the first place..? I don't know.. I kind of feel like a jerk? 

NTA! En typed furiously. Why would your friend be trying to climb out of the ferris wheel in the first place?! That's dangerous!! He could have gotten hurt pretty badly, or hurt someone else that was trying to enjoy the ride! I'm pretty sure there are rules against that too, so not only were you keeping him safe, you kept him from getting kicked out of the entire area! I think you're completely justified in how you acted, and I'm sorry he called you a jerk, because you weren't. You were just a concerned friend. If he didn't want you grabbing him, he should have at least explained what he was going to do! Maybe then you could have talked him out of it and none of that would have happened.

AITA Cheating a Tradition

So my homeland has this tradition where you have to sing to prove that you're a good person. My problem is that I can't sing. At all. I've had more music teachers than I can count on both hands, but no one was able to make me hold a note long enough to tune let alone sing a song! And I'd already been rescheduling my performance for months, nobody was willing to wait any longer.
I got scared, so I tried to lip sync. I know it's stupid, and I regret it, but I was too scared of going up there and admitting that I couldn't sing. They thought I was insulting our culture and making fun of the tradition, and they got so mad that they kicked me out of my homeland. I just wanted to do something, I never meant to insult everyone. The day I left everyone was there yelling at me, calling me names, throwing stuff, even spitting at me. They even sprayed graffiti all over my home's walls to make fun of me. They wouldn't let me come back even for my brother's funeral.

I know what I did was bad and stupid, but... did I deserve all of that?

NTA

This coming from someone whose family is music-oriented, the tradition is absolutely inane, and it's cruel that they refused to even let you return home for your brother's funeral. That is callous, and assuming you were close to your brother, it sounds like they wouldn't be honoring him, either.

Who gives a shit about such things, anyway? Yes, in hindsight, you should have simply told the truth or thrown a fit as to not find yourself on the stage, but it's too late for such things.

You do not deserve anything like that, and those who vilified you deserve the same treatment. They are bottom-feeders and scum, unlike you, a person who actually considered their feelings enough to even try to impress them. They should be grateful that you ever presented yourself to them in the first place.

If there's ever the chance that you return to your homeland, you should spit on them, throw things at them, and remind them of what they did to you. Don't let them forget it.

AITA for telling my ward not to mourn her father?

You kind of are - even if he didn't treat her kindly, she still has a right to be upset over her deceased father. It might be upsetting that you can't control other's feelings about others, especially if it's someone you don't like (trust me, I've been there plenty of times), but it's often best to just let it go. Let her mourn, even if he didn't 'deserve' to be mourned in your eyes.

As for your outburst, you should mutually apologize. It seems your ward has a lot of pent up feelings, but that doesn't excuse your actions towards her. Now, if there's another side to this story and she has a legitimate reason to hate you... I figure I wouldn't be so kind to you. But I believe civility is always important, and I made a promise to my daughter to not get banned like her aunt did.

--

AITA for having a romantic relationship with my apprentice's mother and not telling her?

The timeline here is a bit... odd. I met a woman, let's call her AN. Had sort of a fling with her but I felt like it could be long term? But then she died, and I thought that was that. AN talked about her daughter a lot, and so when years later I finally met AN's daughter, I instantly recognized her and sort of took her under my wing due to unique circumstances. I never told her daughter that I knew her mother, but... it came up when we were talking last night. I wanted to finally come clean and return her mother's locket to her, but she snapped at me for lying to her and not telling her sooner. Apparently she was close to her mother, which made it sting more. She seemed especially upset that I didn't tell her the location of her mother's grave and the circumstances of her death, the latter of which I still don't want to tell her. 

I hope she'll get past it and be able to talk to me, but her girlfriend is mocking me over it, which makes me wonder if I'm in the wrong here?

YTA. Why didn't you just tell her in the first place? I feel like telling someone's child something like the location of their parents grave should be something you tell them pretty quick. 

I do think that her girlfriend is being a dick though. But you're still kind of an asshole for that.

AITA for not liking my friend's cooking?

Context: my friend is not human and I am very much human.

My friend Pollux likes to cook for us, but I just cannot stand his food most of the time? It all has extremely strong flavors and I Do Not Like It. I told him I prefer more basic and simple food and BOY did he get a little upset. I mean, I get that, I can't handle rejection either, but I feel like it's not something that matters so much? I just don't like whatever the hell Enderman Cuisine is.

Now we won't speak to each other because he keeps making weird enderman noises at me and I feel very, very conflicted.

NAH

Idk wtf that is either, and going off your description it must be really tangy or smth. There's nothing wrong with being unhappy with some cooking, my sister sucks at it too, lemme tell ya LOL! Anyway, I don't think you were an asshole for talking about it, but I don't think your friend is in the wrong, either. People get their feelings hurt, you admitted it yourself that you couldn't handle rejection. I think something like this was bound to hurt someone's feelings.

Definitely try and talk it out with your friend. You started it, after all, gotta finish it. Talk about how culturally different the dish is to you, and how you're not used to it but you appreciate how much your friend's been cooking for you. Maybe cook some dishes you like in return so he gets a feel for what you like? Hell, cook dishes together! It ain't worth breaking a friendship over.

AITA Taking GF's Snack

My girlfriend, she's a cat-- Cat-woman, I'll add. She eats these snacks now and then, cat nip, and I've had it once or twice and I just... It's amazing. It's the best thing I've ever had. She never lets me have any, always saying I eat too much of it, but she hardly picks at this stuff! It took her months to finish a bag once. MONTHS. She got a new bag a week ago and hasn't touched it once. Says it's for special days. Well I helped myself to a little. She found out and got real pissy about it, but I don't see the problem? If anything, she's wasting food by keeping it there to rot!

Not completely. If you did not eat more than a small handful, then she should not get too upset. I understand that she may want to save it for her own time, and I would be honest with you: if she truly did not want it touched she should hide it better. On the other hand, if she implies you eat "too much" of it, it may be wise to just invest in your own bag. Long story short, just apologize and get your own for your own benefit.

AITA Started A Study In Someone Else's Favor

All I did was started what someone never finished! I even had Mister Tanaka cited and everything, but he said I was "sick" and that the Social Experiment I started was "twisted" of me to do. I merely took his idea of putting a group of people with a title and in power together and put the idea of kill or be killed in their mind! For studying, and perhaps my own image, purposes! I was proving my own theories right, you know! It was for the sake of scientific and social behaviour discovery! But apparently trapping a group of people in a college and putting the idea of murder into their head was a "bad idea." It's not like I forced them to kill or anything, they chose to do that themself.

That's a tough one, and I can't say you're wrong for being concerned about your family's safety. Reporting your aunt though? That sounds like it was out of spite, and you're the asshole for turning on your family like that. Sure, it sounds delusional, but you took something important to them and destroyed it. That's not even considering the trouble your aunt could get into. You had sensible motivations, but your way of dealing with it was selfish. YTA

To give you some context, I travel a lot for my job and have a daughter. She's remarkable, very independent, and could probably watch the house herself if I let her. Problem is it's not the best idea to give a 13 year old that much freedom, so I leave her with my friend in town whenever I'm out. About a month ago he starts having an issue with it out of the blue, saying I should somehow stop my career and watch my daughter myself. I can't just stay at home and play house when there's bills to be paid, so instead of leaving her with him I left her alone one time. It was only for three days, but when he found out he was hysterical! I think he's underestimating her, and when I asked her about it she said she was fine. If he doesn't want to watch her, what does he expect me to do about it? She's a smart kid, and I'm just trying to give her a good life by having an actual job.

AITA for leaving my 13 y/o alone for three days because her usual sitter wouldn't watch her?

NTA. Kids need to grow up eventually, 13 definitely isn't too early. Hell, that's when I started pretty much fending for myself, your friend is overreacting. If she's proven she's capable and you have that mutual trust, it should be okay. Just... make sure you do spend some time with her, okay? On your days off, I mean. Having an absent parental figure... isn't great! Take it from me.

--

Gonna get straight to the point. My best friend since kinderarten got married a few years back. He's a good guy, a bit eccentric if anything. I wasn't sure if it was who I thought it was, but I was able to confirm - he married the person who I consider a dire enemy. The beef is a bit hard to explain, but she's a massive dick, and she's taken more from me than I can put into words.

I, uh, used to be... not alive, so I wasn't around for the wedding. I've done my best to avoid her, but at one point we had to be in the same room together and it was awful. She was acting... nice? But she's manipulative so I'm not sure if it was genuine. But I ended up getting a bit snappy with her, to the point where my friend had to separate us...

My friend wants us to find common ground but I think we're beyond that. He says she regrets her actions immensely but I don't believe she does. But at the same time, my friend means the world to me, and I don't want this to tear us apart.

TL;DR : My friend's new wife is my mortal enemy. I snapped at her and my friend wants us to make up, but I'm wary and don't trust her (I have beyond legitimate reasons). AITA?