The Santa Debate

After a long evening of performing and entertaining, Higgy returns to his group holding a small stack of papers.

“Hey guys, I got the script to next week’s skit.” The dark-haired leader rolls his eyes. “We have to include Maxy in it.”

“Neat! What’s it about?” Nicky’s head shoots up from behind one of the studio’s tables.

“It’s about Santa Claus, the North Pole, that kinda thing. Anyway, I’ll be Santa--”

Just then, the bane of Higgy’s existence comes waltzing in, outstretching his arms as if his voice isn’t enough to encompass the area.

“Heeeeeeeey!! Whatcha guys talkin’ about?”

Higgy glares at Maxy. “Before you rudely interrupted, I was saying--”

“We’re gonna do a skit about Santa Claus next week!” Nicky interrupts. “You’re in it too!”

“Sweet! I call dibs on Santa.”

“Wha-?” Higgy spits out. “No?? I get to be Santa!”

The soloist sneers. “Pfff! You? Santa? Please.”

“Let Higgy be Santa!” argues Toni, waving his stuffed animal in Maxy’s direction. Maxy makes a face at him, which Toni returns.

“What makes you a better Santa Claus?” Higgy wants to know.

Maxy slaps his stomach in response. “I’ve got the physique.”

“And your point is…?”

“I’m fat!”

“And…? You think just because you look the part, that makes you a better Santa?”

Maxy looks around incredulously and then back at Higgy.

“Yes??”

The dark-haired boy can’t help but scoff at Maxy’s simplemindedness. “Being Santa Claus is more than just having a round belly and a big beard--”

“I don’t have a bea--”

Higgy holds up a finger. “I’m not done. Being Santa is about being a leader and having responsibility. It’s about being able to guide the elves and the reindeer to deliver presents on time. And since I have the most experience with commanding people, naturally I should be Santa.”

Maxy stares at Higgy, stunned. Within the next few seconds, he bursts into laughter. He giggles, cackles, and guffaws before doubling over in tears.

“What’s so funny?”

Without answering Higgy, the younger boy turns to Nicky for solace. 

“Is he serious? Please tell me he’s not serious, or I’m gonna die.”

“The right to be Santa Claus is very serious.” The blond answers solemnly. He then holds an imaginary microphone toward Maxy. “In your defense, are there any more reasons you feel you’re more qualified for the position?”

Maxy adjusts his belt buckle dramatically. He makes a scene out of walking over to Nicky’s table, stretching his legs out much farther than necessary with each slow step. When he reaches the table, he slams a hand down on it. The resulting vibration is so strong that it bounces Maxy’s curls in such a way that even Higgy finds it hard not to stare. Finally, Maxy winks at Nicky and takes the imaginary microphone.

“It ain’t even ‘cause I’m more qualified, even though I am.” He begins. “No, I also think that out of the four of us, Higgy would make the worst Santa Claus.”

“How so?”

“Look at him. He’s short and he has pointy ears.” Pointing a finger at his opponent, Maxy continues. “Higgy’s no Santa Claus, he’s an elf!”

“That’s ridiculous! I don’t look like an elf!” claims the choreographer.

“You do have elven features.” Nicky agrees.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You’re very handsome.”

“Oh.” Higgy flips his bangs. “You are correct.” He focuses on Maxy. “What makes Nicky a better Santa?”

“He’s nice, unlike you! Heck, he even gave one of Toni’s baby toys back after he lost it earlier, didn’cha Nicky?”

“She’s not a toy, she’s my friend!” Toni whines, clutching said toy. “Besides, you’re too mean to be Santa Claus!”

“I wasn’t even talking about me this time, I was talking about--” His older brother blinks. ”Hey! Wait a sec! If I’m too mean to be Santa, then he’s waaay more so!”

“Nuh-uh! You’re just mad because Higgy would be better at it than you!” The youngest smugly tilts his head up, closing his eyes.

“What makes you think he’d be good anyway?” grumbles Maxy.

Toni thinks for a second.

“He’s old like Santa.”

Maxy wheezes involuntarily, and Nicky isn’t quite sure what to say.

“Yeah, that’s right!” agrees the eldest. “I am the most distinguished member of the group. What do you have to say about that?”

“Distinguished?” The soloist scrunches his face up. “What kinda boring Santa are you talkin’ about? He’s jolly, not distinguished. You don’t have a jolly bone in your body!”

“I do too.” Higgy responds, unsmiling.

“Whatever! My point still stands! I look more like a Santa and Nicky acts like one.”

“Okay? And what about Toni?”

Maxy casts a quick glance at his brother, then shrugs. 

“He’s wearing red.”

Nicky’s imaginary microphone points toward Higgy now. “What is your response to Mr. Konno’s statements?”

“He changed my mind.”

After saying that, Higgy witnesses a sincere look of surprise on Maxy’s face.

“W-woah, really?”

“Yes.” answers Higgy. “I was originally going to assign Toni the part of the child, but you’re starting to look like a much better fit. Nicky, Toni, you can be my elves.”

Maxy’s surprise is exchanged for a face reminiscent of a pufferfish. An extremely red pufferfish.

“ExCUSE me? You little--!!”

“Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way,” Before Maxy continues, Nicky breaks into song. “oh what fun it is to ride on a one horse open sleigh, oh~!” His singing carries a worriedness to it, as if he’s trying to break up the fight or obscure Toni’s ears from Maxy’s next words.

While Maxy and Higgy continue arguing, Toni sings along with Nicky, clapping to the beat.

---

Kenji watches the chaos unfold from a safe distance.

“What are you laughing at?”

The manager is surprised to see young starlet Tsukiko Matsudo looking up at him.

“Oh.” He adjusts his tie. “I was just thinking, I feel sorry for whoever wrote their skit. It’s hard to match up to how entertaining they are in their element.”