Has he tried a flower pot?
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Crash N. Burn - ESTJ - 8w7
Name Crash N. Burn
Age 40
Pronouns He/Him
Orientation Demisexual Demiromantic
Occupation Show Host/Menace
Strength
Creativity
Intelligence
Empathy
Magic
A lean, mean, mild inconvenience machine, Crash N. Burn is a reanimated crash test dummy with a grudge against organic life. Under he guise of a smarmy yet (mostly) harmless dimension-hopping media personality, he gets his kicks by causing problems on purpose whenever and wherever he can.
Traveling from realm to realm, he hosts a show known as CRASH COURSE, which is a Wipeout-style obstacle course designed to be as humiliating and difficult as possible. Offering luxurious prizes to anyone that takes on his challenge, few (if any) have ever been able to complete it. His show is especially popular in Mahou Wando, as it seems that magic seems to inflate the confidence of the realm's youths, and he takes full advantage of any opportunity to livestream a witch getting smacked in the face with a comically large rubber glove.
Much to the dismay of those that are not fans of his show, Crash has been spending more and more time in Mahou Wando since his son was discored to have an affinity for magic and was enrolled in Agatha Academy. He's unsure of how long he or his son will remain in the realm, but for now, he's set up a more permanent version of Crash Course and streams new challenges every few weeks.
- Crash only has one magical ability, known as HAPPY ACCIDENT. With this, he can cause slight misfortune or inconveniences to happen to other people.
- His wand is a giant wrench and it has the ability to put together/take apart various nonliving objects. He uses this to make his courses quickly.
- He is completely distrusting of organic sentient life and refuses to explain why. Often refers to people as "flesh bags" when not broadcasting.
- His voice claim is Gary Cole
Sunny - Boney M.
We're Not Broken - isle&fever ft. Discoholic
Keep It Comin' Love - KC and the Sunshine Band
Shake Your Groove Thing - Peaches & Herb
Hollywood Swinging - Kool & the Gang
- Crash was originally used as a sort of walking punching bag for a witch with dubious morals. Wanting to test the effects of spells and potions, they bought him from an estate sale, used magic to enchant him into sentience, and subjected him to all sorts of experiments. They thought he was just a mindless object that couldn't feel pain. He was not.
- He won't get into how exactly he liberated himself from that situation. But let's just say that the witch won't be performing any more experiments. Ever.
- Crash raided the magical equipment that the witch had on hand, including potions to enchant nonliving things. He keeps a vial of one on hand at all times, and used what little he could gather from the witch's documents to create his wand and alter his appearance to be more humanoid.
- He insists that he's incapable of forming attachments to anyone or anything, and is a pretty genuinely terrible person. However, he would go to the ends of the earth for his son and won't tolerate being called a bad dad. He knows he's a bad person and doesn't value any of his accomplishments aside from how he raised his son.
- Do NOT call him a dummy.
Son Boy
most treasured and beloved only son
Crash considers Sonny to be the only good thing he's ever contributed to the world. He absolutely adores his son, and while quite eccentric and nefarious, he never lets his own schemes get in the way of spending time with Sonny. Secretly, Crash harbors a lot of guilt for bringing Sonny to life, as he himself didn't ask to be given sentience. He'd never admit this, though. While they don't always see eye to eye when it comes to their feelings about "flesh bags", they're still very close and have a surprisingly wholesome relationship.
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