“I don’t care if I cheated death. I’d do it again for her. I don’t care if it goes against all principles and kills me- she deserves to live and be happy. She deserves it more than anyone in the world. The balance of life and death couldn’t mean any less to me. The sacrifices haunt me, I hear the dead mock me, but it’s all a worthy price to pay. I’ll suffer for my beloved Amorerre, even if she never remembers our love; even if she never remembers me. No one has ever made me feel so alive.. yes, I’m selfish. Sometimes.. I forget how many I’ve killed. But I love her, and that will never ever change.”
"I am a shadow... The true self..."
I'm not sure if this has already been done, but I thought I thought it'd be a cool idea! Basically, in this topic you make a post as an OC's 'Shadow Self'. For a further explanation, a 'Shadow Self' is the side of ourselves that we like to repress and pretend doesn't exist. However, that side of you is, of course, still you. So for this topic, think about your characters and what sort of thoughts, emotions or feelings they might be hiding from everyone else. Then, personify that into a 'Shadow Self' version of your character, who embodies everything they'd rather hide or deny about themselves.
Rules:
- This doesn't necessarily have anything to do with any secrets your character might have, although there is a good chance they might tie into their repressed Shadow Self.
- Blank out any content that could be deemed sensitive or NSFW. Like this.
- Write as much or as little as you need to! This is just a fun little exercise to help develop your characters.
- Have fun!
To provide an example, here's Kimiko's Shadow Self:
"I am a shadow... the true self! God... all I want is for people to just tell me how much they love me. If I have to lie a little bit to get them to do that, then so be it! I'm so lucky to have some pretty gullible friends... if they knew how much of a sham I was, it'd be all over for me! That's what I am, a sham, a fraud! And I love it! So why should I stop? Because it isn't right to lie? Because tricking people is wrong? As if that'll make me stop! Without these lies, i'm nothing! Just a dumb otaku, without any real friends or a real job.
Lying gets me exactly what I need out of life. There's no way i'll stop... i'll never stop."
"I am the shadow, the true self. I will forever carry the guilt that when I was young, I truly wished I had died with my parents It's such a terrible thing to think, especially since my grandma and my grandpa worked so hard to raise me. They provided me with everything even all the love I needed, yet still thought that. Freya says I should forgive myself for it, because I had gone through such a traumatic experience. But there is that little voice in the back of my head that says I was an awful child for thinking that at all...
I act like nothing effects me and I'm just a ball of sunshine and positivity, but I really am easily hurt. My shyness makes it difficult for me to make new friends anywhere, I feel like I stumbled into the job I have simply because I can't figure out what I want to do with my life. I can't even seem to harness my magic and transforming into a cat is not at my will like Freya, Lumina or even Seina. I feel like I can't keep up with everyone else..."
I am a shadow... the true self! I'm sometimes glad that my sister is dead. I think that without her death, I wouldn't be the person I am now. It's true that before, she was the only person that believed in me, but now, I remember things she told me, and that aren't true. If she was still alive, I would be hiding my quirk to everyone for my entire life. If she was still alive, I would see everyday my parents' love for my sister, which I never received. If she was still alive, I wouldn't continue to dream about being a hero, because it's too dangerous. If she was still alive, I would never meet Kumori and her wonderful family.
I would never be the person I am now.
TW: Descriptions of killing people
I am a shadow, the true self. We see our friends, and we know what they've done to us is wrong. We can't stop remembering how they've hurt us. We want to hurt them. We want to kill them. We want to laugh at their lifeless bodies, knowing we were right all along, and they can't prove us wrong, they can't hurt us anymore. The smoking one is the worst. Aaron. He doesn't know how much it tears us apart to see him like that, but we can make him stop. We can make them stop hurting us, we will be right for once! All we need is to swing our bat a few times, and we'll satisfy that horrible need for destruction.
"I am a shadow. The true self. I bring words that were left unspoken. For quite some time, I've felt a sense of... abandonment. Ever since HE was let out. I've been losing her. My only friend. Does she even know how I've been trudging along? Regretfully. Remorsefully. Maybe it was a mistake- no. It was a mistake. He's nothing but a rock...
"...a rock I can kick aside. Just one chance to turn him back into that inanimate object will do us wonders. She says I can friend him, but I doubt it. I can make a trap... lure him in... prove to her that he's just a thorn in our sides."
"I am a shadow... the true self... I cause others fright, scare them off with my eyes. I have eyes everywhere, literally. They don't even realize how scared I am. I'm scared of them all. What if they try to hurt me again? This was a peaceful forest, but it hasn't been the same since the incident. I can't hear who comes by, merely see them. If certain humans are willing to harm me, who's to say the rest won't? Who says I won't get hurt again? I have to stop them. I have to see them. I have to watch them."
"I am a shadow... the true self... I'm so worthless, can't get a pilot's license, can't talk to strangers, can't confess my feeling for Stann, always having to rely on others... Why do I have these lofty dreams anyway, it'd be so much easier to just give up and only read about this stuff."
[The temptation to think up what her shadow would look like and it's symbolism and stuff is strong, but I'll stick to just this like everyone else has]
tw: a lot of internalized aphobia
"i am a shadow, the true self...i'm not human. a human is capable of loving, but i can't even love my parents. i can't even love the goddess i serve. this must have been the reason why i was abandoned as a child. why would a parent want a child that can't love them back? maybe i am better off as a vampire, a lowly creature only meant for scaring people."
"I am a shadow, the true self. I know what I'm doing is awful. Those professors were right when they said it would be unethical to test these things on people... I tell myself and others I'm working towards a better future, but deep down that's not the case. Deep down, I'm just a kid trying to bring my favourite comic books to life. I just wish I was young enough to do the procedure on myself, even if it meant losing some of my vision like that kid. Unfortunately the closest I'll ever get is being the mad scientist who gives other people powers."
*ahem*
It's not as simple as that.
I'm the shadow, the true self 'n'at, whatever.
I envy all the people around me who are just... so unapologetically themselves, their heart on their sleeve and all. All I've ever gotten from people is treated like shit. Am I over it? Fuck no! Am I going to tell anyone about it? Absolutely not!
I wish someone would understand me without having to talk about it. I wish there was someone I could be fully open with, who'd make me feel okay with being me.
But I'm scared shitless of people knowing what I even look like! Annoying.
I'm tired of being alone but I guess that's just how it's meant to be. I wish I'd be proven wrong.