"I am the shadow, the true self...and I want a piece of my assistant. Even though we have an age gap and even though he's cockney. In fact that accent is a big part of why I find him attractive. He's rough around the edges, cocky and a bit of a delinquent. When my assistant was a child I was already a faithful wife to my husband. And I often daydreamed of other men both before and after being widowed, so my assistant isn't special in that regard. The things I fantasize about... I'd die of shame if anyone ever knew what goes on in my head when a cleverly dressed rogueish spiv or a rough-edged soldier walks in. But why shouldn't I fantasize? Why shouldn't I crave them? Crave a little bit of danger, a little bit of toughness. After all, it's only thoughts on which I'll never act because I'm not that much of an airhead to run off with the first "bad boy" to come my way. But still, I'm a neat, perfect, working widow but secretly my mind is a very, very dirty place."
"I am a shadow... The true self..."
I'm not sure if this has already been done, but I thought I thought it'd be a cool idea! Basically, in this topic you make a post as an OC's 'Shadow Self'. For a further explanation, a 'Shadow Self' is the side of ourselves that we like to repress and pretend doesn't exist. However, that side of you is, of course, still you. So for this topic, think about your characters and what sort of thoughts, emotions or feelings they might be hiding from everyone else. Then, personify that into a 'Shadow Self' version of your character, who embodies everything they'd rather hide or deny about themselves.
Rules:
- This doesn't necessarily have anything to do with any secrets your character might have, although there is a good chance they might tie into their repressed Shadow Self.
- Blank out any content that could be deemed sensitive or NSFW. Like this.
- Write as much or as little as you need to! This is just a fun little exercise to help develop your characters.
- Have fun!
To provide an example, here's Kimiko's Shadow Self:
"I am a shadow... the true self! God... all I want is for people to just tell me how much they love me. If I have to lie a little bit to get them to do that, then so be it! I'm so lucky to have some pretty gullible friends... if they knew how much of a sham I was, it'd be all over for me! That's what I am, a sham, a fraud! And I love it! So why should I stop? Because it isn't right to lie? Because tricking people is wrong? As if that'll make me stop! Without these lies, i'm nothing! Just a dumb otaku, without any real friends or a real job.
Lying gets me exactly what I need out of life. There's no way i'll stop... i'll never stop."
"I am a shadow...the true self. I don't want anything to change. If I could repeat this last month, again and again, I'd be happy. I'll stay the same age forever, never fully mature, but who am I kidding? What if I mature and turn out to be a self-centered jerk? I just need to live a simple life, with stability. I want my flowers to never die, I want Kaleb to always care about me, I want my parents to always guide me, I want Lizzy to be the same chipper kid she always was. And if something changes... I'll fall apart."
"I... I've been through so much horror in the past that it's molded me into a shell of who I used to be. I'm constantly caught up in my own depression, so much so that I neglect my own daughter. I close myself off from reality and refuse to vent my feelings to anyone. All my fears, all my insecurities... I've let them consume me.
I am the shadow... the true self."
Trigger-warning for the blackened parts. Sexual abuse mention.
"I am the shadow... the true self. I am full of rage. Destructive rage that only wants to see the world burn. They exorcised Vyeralas out of me, but they couldn't take all the memories from me. I still have them and they still torture me. I still see the basement I was held captive in, still feel the experiments, the shock magic, the rapings in my dreams. The priests sent him into the void, but he still lives within me, and when I lose control, the part of me that is like him takes over. And I enjoy it, if that happens. Regret comes afterwards, but secretly I never regret my fits of rage. Even if I happen to abuse and rape an inobedient slave. That's the part of me that actually is Vyeralas. I never can get rid of this so I stopped fighting against it. Instead, I embrace that part of me without letting others know. And I hate the three living gods for letting all this happen.
I loved my partner to death, but still he suffocated me with his overcaring nature. So overcaring and stupidly romantic that I wanted to shake him to make him finally understand how telling everyone my name and that we're together will tell our enemies our weakest spots. He was my weak spot and too stupid to understand that! Now that all these things happened and I was officially declared dead, I actually am relieved. I was too much of a coward to ever break up with him, but now I am free again. I can breathe again. And I will never agree to a relationship in any way and never fall in love again. It only brings pain and suffering after all."
"I am the shadow... The true self... Am I really interesting? I'm just pretending to be cool, I'm nothing. Just nothing. My friends are doing at least SOMETHING with their lives, but me? I just dress like the kinda person that looks like they go to parties every day of the year. Pathetic. I'm just a good for nothing piece trash trying to fit in. I might as well do something that will put me up there with the most infamous of people on the internet. I could do something that would make me a hero but no, I should just do nothing, as that's the perfect word to describe me
Trigger warning for the blacked out bit - mentions and reference to self harm and child abuse.
"I am the shadow...the true self...the broken child he left on the cold floor, beaten, broken and slashed from his years of anger. The shards of glass incomplete, broken and scattered as he smashed the innocent image in front of him, creating a monster in it's place. The one who longed for the pain to stop and sought sanctuary at the edge of a blade. I am the one who longs to be held and told that I will be okay, that the past will fade even if the physical scars never will. The flowing river of fear and grief, trapped under the wall of ice and behind a door of spikes, which is now by prison.
I am the one, who will never be free."
"I am the shadow...the true self. I'm just tired. And honestly? I don't want to be alone, no matter how often I push others away. That's why we stare at you from beyond the lens. That's why we trail you and learn all of your dirty little secrets. I want to be just like you, but I don't know how. I don't understand you. It makes me angry, which in turn makes me lash out. It feels so hopeless that instead of sinking into oblivion I'd rather pick a fight. If you can't love me, I want you to hate me. It's the closest we'll ever get to have to a connection. Maybe that is why I take the back seat and let the better-half drive. Even being loathed is a form of much-sought for attention.
And well...sometimes hurting you is the closest thing we'll ever have to a physical connection."
TW for: abuse, mental breakdowns, beating up, harm
I am the shadow .. the true self .. and I don't dig it, y'know? It's kind of hard to live when everybody around you hates you - no, DESPISES you. I was a mistake from the beginnin', a slip up in the factory - a little incident. They pulled my wires, and they messed up my code, just to make me act better - and they've only made it worse. Sometimes I wish I could've just .. twisted their necks. They don't know how much anger they've caused, or the pain, or the torment - they don't fuckin' care. No one does. All they see is a kids' toy, a funny GIF of a bot falling down- they don't see ME. They don't see how badly they've affected me.. Then, once they messed me up so badly, they sent me to the trash island, Nakalimutan, where the Wired Society is. There, I gained a consciousness, and that's when the real pain started. Now I was aware of the pain humans afflicted upon me, and now the robots - my own kind - were ripping me to parts. Taking my limbs off. Infecting me with viruses. Throwin' me around. I'd never felt so alone. You know how I got this dagger stuck to my hand? I sacrificed one of them to be replaced with a blade, to protect myself from the monsters of Nakalimutan - it only made me look 'funnier' to them, and I got beat up even more. Even after I left that hellhole of a planet, I feel like I can still hear them.. kicking me.. yelling at me.. it never ends..
"I am a shadow… The true self. I know that I am all the parts that the Gods deemed ugly about her, everything that prevented her happiness. That’s why they scraped me, her shadow, off. I know that and yet I can’t help it, I want to feel whole again, even if becoming part of her would just make her unhappy again. I hate being this disgraceful, this dark—a monster that feeds on the misery of others. I make them feel lighter, but who is going to eat my misery, my anguish? Why am I always helping others when no one helps me? I don’t want this anymore. I pretend to look down on the living, but it's really just envy. I want to be colorful like them again, oh I want to be light."
My current existence is based upon the childish lies of a man that I claim as a friend very dearly... Yet I know he is merely using me, no, everyone that is even a step under him. I am stuck as a mere child play of what I am, I could do so... oh so much on my own, but I am forever bound to remain attached to him until I meet earthly demise. But then what after that? Will he come haunt me along with my sins in the afterlife or will he just throw me aside like another of his old broken toys? That I will never know.
"I am a shadow, the true self..."
"Why dose no body seam to care about me? I do everything I can to earn their love and attention, yet I'm still ignored. I have no mother, my sister hates me, and my father acts as if I was never born! I have no friends, only cats who seam nice. I put on a smile and I'm respectful, I practice everyday so I can help my clan when im old enough, yet I'm still treated like a shadow. Will I ever earn love? I don't know what I'm doing wrong, I've tried my best... and now I'm even being told I'm too polite, why dose nobody love me?! My mother did... but now she's gone..."
"Will I ever be loved?"