Sober

Nick and I wake up late into the afternoon, sprawled out on the bed. I peck him on the cheek before wandering out of my room, still half asleep as I walk to the counter and start eating some chips with some of the food that Deja cooked.

Deja.

I glance over and see her sitting on the couch. She looks me over, and I blush as I stand there in my underwear, but then she goes back to watching TV.

“H-Hey,” I mutter.

“Hey.” She says flatly.

I can’t come up with what to say, so I turn away and keep stuffing my face with food. Eventually, Nick leaves the room, his hair sticking up all over the place as he walks over to me, only wearing that extra-large t-shirt and his boxers. 

He’s covered in hickies from his neck down to his thighs that contrast greatly with his skin tone. Due to the current environment, it’s more embarrassing than it is hot to me.

Deja looks at him, raises an eyebrow, and continues ignoring us.

“You say anything yet?” He whispers to me.

“N-No,” I say sadly and hand him the bag of chips.

“Let me talk to her.” He eats a handful before walking towards her, but I grab him.

“At least put some pants on,” I say and chuckle.

“I can say the same to you. This is probably making her even more suspicious—I’m assuming you were dressed when she saw you last night.”

I snicker as Nick closes the bag. He goes back into our bedroom and luckily comes back with some more clothes on.

He then cracks his knuckles, taking a deep breath as he walks over to my roommate. I watch from afar, and oddly enough, she doesn’t give him any shit. 

“Hey, um, can I talk to you?”

She smiles at him as he sits beside her. “Hm? Yeah, what’s up?”

Nick adjusts his shirt. “So…Kyler told me about last night, and it’s seriously a misunderstanding. I know you don’t really wanna talk to him, but nothing happened—I promise.”

Deja looks off to the side. 

“And he didn’t tell me to say this! I just...I don’t want you to get any bad ideas about him or me or anything that’s gone on.”

“So, he didn’t take advantage of you?”

Nick shakes his head.

“But you have like three hickeys right there.”

He jumps. “I—! It’s not—” He proceeds to trip over his words and then takes a deep breath. “That’s not from last night,” He mutters and covers his neck.

Deja still looks suspicious, and I can see that Nick’s ears are red. “That’s not important right now,” He goes on. “I got in another fight with Zeke, and he got me really drunk, and…then Kyler beat the shit out of him.”

“A-Again?! Wait—”

Nick stands up. “Don’t be mad at him! Kyler practically saved my life, and then he took me here because I was sick and could barely walk, let me shower and just…” He smiles. “…made me feel loved for once.”

I blush, but as Deja looks at me, I turn away.

“W…Wow.”

She massages her temples. “I mean, that’s nice and all—well, not the Zeke part! But while it’s sweet what Kyler did for you and nice to know that he didn’t ditch me to get laid, I still…” She trails off. “I just wish he would be honest with me!” Deja glares at me from across the room.

“I feel like I don’t even know him anymore!” She continues to stare at me. “Meanwhile, he knows me like the back of his hand!”

Nick stands in between us awkwardly as I tense up.

“Yeah, that’s because you put everything out there for everyone to see! I don’t wanna do that—that’s not how I am!”

Deja walks toward me. “You’re not putting everything out there, Kyler! I’m just one person! I honestly have a hunch that Nick knows more about you than I do!”

The boy freezes up. 

“Leave him out of this!”

Deja scoffs. “You’ve known him for two weeks, Kyler! Two! I’ve known you since we were thirteen!” She turns the TV off. “Is that why you hid him from me for so long? Because you knew I’d be disappointed to learn that I’m seemingly second best?”

“You’re not second best, Deja!”

Nick runs over and hides behind me slightly.

“Then how come you never consider my feelings anymore, huh? I-I’m not trying to be selfish, I just—!”

I groan. “I don’t get why everyone always wants to know my backstory and shit! Some stuff I just wanna keep to myself!”

“But you can trust me!”

“Kyler,” Nick says quietly. “You need to tell the truth. You may be cool with it, but it hurts other people, especially if they think they know you, just to find out that they’re really just friends with a fake. I-I know this isn’t my argument, I just…” He trails off.

“So, what?” I turn to Deja. “You wanna know about my family? My childhood? My relationships??”

She tries to respond, but I cut her off.

“Fine then! I’m Kyler Wells! I have two older brothers, one who’s in jail, and an alcoholic dad, all of which made me feel like shit the entire time I was living in their house!”

I start laughing. “Then there’s my mom, who knew everything was a mess and abandoned all of us, disappearing off the face of the planet! In high school, I’d steal my dad’s booze, lock myself in my room, and down all of it, hoping to escape it all, but it never worked! And no one I ever talked to bothered to help! Not teachers or fuckin’ guidance counselors!”

Both Nick and Deja continue to give me a concerned look, and I sigh.

“But then I started ignoring that mess of a household and got my friends and cliques, and though no one actually knew me, they liked my looks and stuck around! At school, I finally wasn’t the problem child! People liked me, and girls were all over me, so I just went with it and kept going with it and didn’t tell anyone things that would make them wanna stray!”

“Kyler…” Deja mumbles as I grab my head, clearly beating around the bush due to my hesitancy about finally coming out to someone else.

“So now you know! All those times when you’d invite me places during high school, and I said I was busy? I wasn’t. I was in my room, drinking myself into a void while blasting rock music, dancing, and crying.” I grin. “So yeah, I have my problems! And that’s okay—we all do! But some things I just like keeping to myself!”

Deja stands up slowly. “Kyler, I’m so sorry.”

I roll my eyes. “It’s fine, okay? Things…got better as college went on.” 

Nick looks at me as if trying to egg me on, and Deja notices.

“But if things are fine now, why’d you hide Nick?”

“I was upset about that one night when he got hurt, and you didn’t care! I just wanted to hang out with him in peace and become friends!”

Nick kicks me lightly. “God dammit Kyler, tell her the truth!”

“I am telling the truth!”

He frowns. “No, you’re not!”

“Yes, I am! Shut up!”

“W-What aren’t you telling me?” Deja then asks, looking pissed off again.

I place my head in my hands, my entire body shaking.

I hid Nick because I had a crush on him, and it was so bad that I thought if Deja saw us hanging out together so much, she’d see through my mask, and I’d… 

Well, then I’d have to come out.

“Kyler?”

I turn away from them, walking towards the door as I grab a hoodie, not saying a word.

“W-Wait, where are you going?” Nick and Deja both ask frantically.

“I’ll be back,” I say plainly, getting dressed in a flash before slamming the front door closed, leaving them alone in the apartment.