Sober

As I enter the kitchen to dig around for booze, Nick follows me, though, to my amusement, he just stares at his hand the entire time. After unlocking a cooler, he gives me a weird look as he notices all the multicolored pitchers.

“Don’t worry, this is some stuff I made before the party. I got here early to stash it away so I could save you some.” I beam as I pour him a cup. 

“But how’d you know I’d be coming today?” He asks suspiciously. “Did you take my hoodie so I’d have to come to another one of these to retrieve it?”

I snicker. “Maybe. Anyway, try it and tell me what you think.”

He takes a sip, and his face lights up. “W-Whoa, this is pretty good—what it is? Shit man, it just tastes like juice.”

I chuckle. “Well, it’s really just lemonade and vodka.” 

Nick scowls. “You’re lying.”

“Maybe. I can’t just go around giving out my recipes.”

The boy chuckles softly and finishes the cup as I finally sit out the rest of the pitchers so other people have access.

“You want some more?”

He blushes. “Um, I don’t know. I don’t wanna hog it.”

“Well, I can keep one of the jugs in the cooler for later so you can bring it home with you if you want.”

The boy nods frantically, and I try to hide my grin. I dig out a few of my favorite beers I had stashed away before locking my cooler back up and leaving Nikki’s pitcher inside. I hand him some cans as I hold the others, thinking these should last us an hour or two.

“Is this good for now?”

He nods before we venture back to the basement, which was bigger than yesterday’s, but we still found a slightly secluded corner to loiter in. Though immediately after sitting down, Nick chugs one of the drinks and crushes the can, giving me a side eye. 

“What?”

I chuckle, cracking open mine. “Maybe you wouldn’t get as drunk if you didn’t chug everything.”

He looks away and grabs another, but I snatch it from him and take the rest, sitting them to my left so he’d have to reach over my body if he really wants them.

He clicks his tongue in annoyance. “C’mon.”

I take a sip and sigh. “There’s no harm in pacing yourself. I mean, I don’t mind if you get drunk but—I just wanna be able to talk to sober Nick for a little bit.”

He rolls his eyes and starts to reach over me, but I grab his arm and push him back.

“Kyler, piss off. I already talked to you earlier, can’t that be enough?”

I scoff and slide my arm around him, watching as his ears turn red. “Aw, come on Nikki! I just wanna get to know you better—like what year are you in?”

He combs his hair back, but as soon as he moves his hand, it falls back into his eyes. “I’m a sophomore, and I’m majoring in business.”

“Alright, alright.” I nod. “And how’s that going?”

“Fine.” He paused. “I don’t wanna talk about it,” He says under his breath, avoiding my gaze.

“Um, sure. That’s cool.” I think for a second as he tries to get me to move my arm. I lean on his shoulder with a smirk. “You got a girlfriend?”

He shakes his head.

“A boyfriend?”

He repeats the gesture and bends over to grab a beer, but as he reaches across my body, I bend over so he gets trapped between my stomach and legs.

“K-Kyler, what are you doing—sit up!”

I laugh, quickly repositioning myself as he backs away with a red face.

“You’re really fuckin’ weird, you know that?”

“Clearly not weird enough for you to not wanna sit in a corner with me,” I tease as he rolls eyes, shoving me slightly before successfully grabbing another can. I avert my eyes as he chugs it again, to no one’s surprise. 

I sigh as he leans against the wall, glaring at me. “So, do you want a girlfriend or a boyfriend?”

He shakes his head.

“Aw, why not? You’re in college! There’s plenty of people to choose from.”

He shrugs. “Yeah I know, I just don’t think it’s my thing.”

I chuckle. “Well, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.”

He looks at me. “I have.”

“O-Oh.”

Nick sighs and leans his head back. “I just have enough things to worry about at the moment. I don’t have enough time or emotional stability to be in a relationship.” He mutters with a frown.

“A-Ah. I’m sorry,” I say quietly. “Do you at least have a crush or something? That can be fun sometimes. And usually harmless too.”

We lock eyes as he messes with his hair, and I spot his cheeks turning red. He looks away, still frowning. “I don’t know.” He mutters and rubs the hand that I kissed earlier.

He reaches over and grabs his last beer, but this time he just sips from it while staring into space. He flinches as I put my arm around him again, looking over.

“Stop touching me.”

I chuckle. “Aw, but it’s fun. And you’re warm.” I shrug. “And dare I say cute.”

He shoves me with his free hand. 

“Yeah, fun for you! I’m not in the mood for your flirty bullshit!” He yells.

I gulp and reach out to comfort him, but quickly put my hand down. “I—uh, sorry.”

The boy glances at me and scrunches up his nose, silent. We don’t say anything for a while, and I spot his hands shaking. Sure, I had only known him for a day, and though my presence seemed to annoy him by default, something still seemed off.

“Hey… are you good? I know we just met and everything, but I’m pretty good at noticing when someone’s not themselves.”

He scoffs. “Y-Yeah right.” He pauses. “And what do you mean—I’m perfectly fine,” He mumbles, finishing his beer and then sitting it next to the empty ones.

I place my hand on top of his and he stops trembling.

“I know you said not to touch you but—”

“It’s fine.” He cuts me off with a mutter, looking off to the side. “Sometimes, I just… Ugh, never mind.”

“Nikki, you can tell me anything,” I softly reassure him. “If you promised not to share that I’m, y’know… I promise to take everything you say to the grave,” I chuckle.

He hides his face, and I scoot closer to him, noticing his posture loosen the moment our shoulders touch. I look at his small red ears and smile. 

There’s no way in hell that he’s been at the same parties as me. He dresses like he doesn’t want to stand out, but it doesn’t work—mainly because he’s not gussied up in some way like everybody else. Not to mention he always has bedhead, though I find it cute, along with him hiding his face in his giant grey hoodie.

After a couple of seconds, he sits up, and as he looks at me, I kiss his forehead.

“Nick, it’s okay,” I flash him a smile.

He stares at me, completely flustered.

“I know you’re going through something.” I nudge him playfully. “And don’t try to deny it—everyone’s going through some tough shit. Regardless of the size or severity, it matters. A-And I don’t want to pry, but I want you to know you can come talk to me at any time. And I promise I’ll listen.”

Nick puts his hood on but the moment I can’t see his face, he interlaces his fingers with mine. “Y-You promise?” He asks softly.

I nod. “Yes, Nick, I promise.”

I hear him sniffle and I rub his hand with my thumb for a minute before he finally looks at me, face full of tears. 

“Holy shit! Dude!” I let go of him and but he tries to wave me away.

“I’m sorry,” He mumbles, barely audible. “N-No one’s ever said that to me before, I just…” He sniffles, and as I wipe his face, he smiles at me for the first time, and my heart skips a beat. “It’s nice to know someone cares. Thank you,” He sighs.

“N-Nikki…” I glance around as he dries his face, politely pushing me away.

“Sorry, it’s just been a shitty week.” He admits softly. “Maybe even a shitty semester,” He mumbles. “God knows.”

“Hey, it’s alright. You don’t have to apologize.” I rub his back and he suddenly leans on my shoulder. “A-Are you good now?” I wipe his face again and smile as he hiccups.

He hesitates before nodding slowly.

“You sure?” 

He stays quiet for a while and then eventually sits back up, exhaling as he does so. “Yeah.” 

He grabs another beer, drinking it a normal pace for once. We sit side by side for a while, zoning out and people-watching. He neglected to go into further detail about his personal life, but at the very least, knowing he had someone to talk to seemed to significantly calm him down. There was no way to know if he was genuinely hung up over something or if he got emotional when drunk, but at least he…seemed less scared.

Scared and lonely.

I eventually started losing feeling in my foot thanks to the way I was sitting and got up to stretch. Though, I noticed Deja standing at the bottom of the stairs and the moment her eyes landed on me after scanning the room, I instantly sat back down, startling Nick.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, watching me panic beside him.

I scratch my ear. “W-Well, part of the issue last night was that I got into an argument with a close friend of mine…and she’s my roommate. But despite that, we haven’t talked all day.”

Nick sighs and plays with one of my earrings, flicking the hoop back and forth with a dazed expression. “Eh, I’m sure you’ll be fine,” He mumbles with a hiccup. “You seem good at winning people over…” He trails off.

When I look away from Nick, Deja’s squatting beside me and I flinch. 

“Hey,” She says with half a smile.

I start overheating as she sits down. “H-Hey,” I stammer.

“You’ve…been ignoring me.”

I shrug and avoid her gaze. “And you haven’t?”

She sighs. “I never said that. I just wanna know if you’re okay. I know you’re probably still mad but…when you ran off crying like that, I got scared. You never do that.”

I shrug again. “It’s whatever,” I mumble. I wouldn’t have cried if she had taken my feelings into account earlier.

“Kyler, look at me.” She turns my head to face her, and I start to feel a lump in my throat. Seeing her again just reminds me of last night, and I tense up.

She continues to stay silent and stares at me with a concerned expression, and I feel my eyes start to water. I keep telling myself to keep it together, not just for my well-being but also because Nick was beside me and he didn’t need to see me do that again. 

“Kyler, it’s okay if you need to cry again, I just—”

“Deja, I’m fine!” I exclaim as my voice starts to break. “Just go back upstairs!”

“Dude…”

I groan loudly and mistakenly lean back onto Nick, who immediately shoves me away.

“Kyler, what did I say about touching me?” He hisses.

I blush even more and quickly sit back up.

“Who’s the kid in the hood?” Deja asks, obviously referring to Nick.

“Um, don’t worry about it.”

She sighs and pokes my arm. “Fine. Anyway, I just want to know if you’re seriously okay. You can tell me the truth,” She insists and rubs my shoulder.

I move her hand. “No, I can’t, D. I’ll just end up causing another scene.”

She frowns. “Ky, I just wanna make sure you’re okay! I’m sorry about yesterday!”

I glare at her. “Okay, fine—whatever! I accept your apology—now will you just go away and leave me alone?! Everything’s fine!” I shout.

Nearby people glance at us, and some talking dies down. I feel them staring at me, and Nick is too.

Deja sighs and gets up. “Well, if everything’s fine, how about you come upstairs? Everyone’s dancing and your girlfriends are waiting for you. Wouldn’t you rather be up there instead of down here alone?”

“He’s not alone,” Nick interrupts with a tone. “He has me.”

My heart rate increases and I watch as he wobbles, attempting to stand up. With my help, he gets to his feet and then scowls at Deja.

“He promised to stay with me, so he’s not going anywhere, unlike you, who should piss off because you’re making him uncomfortable!” He shouts.

Deja stands there dumbfounded, and then Nick grabs my arm and shoos her off.

“Tonight, this idiot belongs to me! You can fight with him at home or whatever,” He taunts.

Deja looks at me and then back at the smaller guy. “You’re Nick, aren’t you?” She asks with a smile.

The boy looks at me and hiccups as I move my arm out of his grasp due to embarrassment.

“Yeah, that’s him,” I mutter.

She shakes his drunk noodly hand and holds it, completely ignoring his previous outbursts.

“Well, your promise didn’t say anything about having to hide in the basement, right? So how about you and your bouncer come upstairs?”

Nick pulls his hand away from her. “Is she Zeke’s friend?” He whispers in my ear.

“Not really.”

He loosens his grip on my arm and grabs my hand instead.

“But if anything goes down, I have your back,” I respond quietly.

He gives me the cutest smile, and I pat his head. “We’ll come upstairs, I guess,” I say to Deja.

She grins and grabs me, dragging me and Nick to the first floor, where the bass vibrates our whole body. Everyone’s dancing and Nick squeezes my hand as he wobbles along. Quite quickly, my friends swarm me, causing him to run off to where Deja is.

They beg me to dance with them and pull me into the middle, but I’m more distracted by Nick anxiously leaning against the wall. I watch Deja hand him a beer, which he frantically finishes in a few seconds, but afterward, he just watches me, occasionally moving his hair out his eyes so he can see.

Everyone cheers as I breakdance in the middle of the floor, and I smile at Nick from afar before noticing he got his hands on yet another drink. After about five minutes, I quit showing off, and the crowd reforms. I squeeze my way through everyone and run over to Nick, sticking my hand out, though he doesn’t grab it.

“Dance with me!” I say with a grin.

“No.”

I slide my hand around his waist, pulling him into me as he tenses up. “Why not?”

He looks at me with a dazed expression. “Cause. I don’t want to, I don’t know how to, and I have no rhythm.”

I chuckle and attempt to sway him to what’s playing in the background. He tries to hold back his smile, but he fails, and it’s adorable.

“I’m sure you’re fine,” I say as he eventually leans away from me. “But if you change your mind, just come to where I am. I’ll be back to check on you later.”

He nods as I start walking off. “Also, don’t drink too many more of those,” I advise.

Suddenly, he grabs my sleeve. “W-Wait, aren’t you afraid of everyone seeing you dancing with a guy?”

I grin. “Not if it’s you.”

His face turns red, and I snicker. “I mean, it’s not like we have to dance in the middle of that crowd.”

Nick looks around and loosens his grip. “Then where would we go?”

“Outback.” I smile. “They always keep it low-key back there.” 

He nods and attempts to walk away from the wall, but his knees buckle, and he slams his head directly into my chest. He clings to my shirt, and we make awkward eye contact.

“Y-You good?”

“Uhh…”

I help him stand up straight. “Maybe, dancing isn’t the best idea for you right now. We may have missed that window.”

He nods slowly.

“You know, I think it would be easier if you just climb on my back.”

I squat down, and Nick awkwardly hugs me from behind.

“You…know you have to grab on, right?”

He snickers, clinging to me as I carry him to the backyard. To our luck, there aren’t many people outside, and the temperature’s nice too. Some people are dancing to the slow indie rock playing in the background, but for the most part, everyone is sitting down and chatting. 

I notice a few people crowding Louis—the host—by the fire pit while horrifically burning marshmallows. While it wasn’t his house, he always knew the best people to invite so his friends often tasked him with planning everything. Not many people knew he actually lived on campus.

I walk over to one of the patio benches, and after sitting down, Nick leans his head back.

“Will you get mad if I throw up?” He asks with his eyes closed.

“N-No...? Are you okay?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know… The fresh air feels nice, though,” He says with a smile. “Thank you.”

I nod and gaze at him as he takes his hoodie off. I’d completely forgotten about the bruises on his arms until now, but Nick notices my frown and tugs on my shirt.

“What’s wrong?” 

“Ah nothing, I’m fine,” I say and flash him a smile.

He looks away and scoots closer to me after sitting his hoodie down. “Um…does that offer still stand?” He asks quietly.

“Offer?”

He fixes his hair and then glances at me, red-faced. “About dancing with you.”

I chuckle. “Nikki, you can barely walk. We know this.”

“I-I mean, we don’t have to dance like we’re in the club or something... I just—”

I stand up with an exhale and stick out my hand. “Alright, fine. You know I can’t say no to you.” I smirk and pull him up. “Just don’t throw up on me, yeah?”

Nick laughs as we walk further into the backyard, away from everyone else. I place my hands on his waist, and he tenses up at my touch like usual but still places his arms around my neck.

“C’mon, you literally asked for this. You can’t be weird now,” I tease and comb his hair back.

“Shut up,” He hisses, looking off to the side with a smile.

The music was far off in the distance, but we could still hear it from where we were. The cool air was a nice change from all the congestion inside, and Nick seemed to like it too.

 “I thought you didn’t like me touching you.” I joke, pulling him into me a bit.

“Shut up.” He says again.

“You sure you don’t have a crush on anybody?” 

He glares at me, and I lean in, pressing my nose against his. Surprisingly, he closes his eyes, and I gulp, unsure of what to do since he seems to go along.

“I’m sure,” He mutters.

“I bet if we were sober, you’d punch me in the gut right now.” I snicker.

He glares at me as we sway back and forth. “Kyler, shut the fuck up.”

“My bad.”

I wasn’t usually one to ramble, but I wasn’t sure what to do. The silence was killing me and frankly, I didn’t think I’d ever get this far. It was only day two, and he was willingly dancing with me. 

Kind of.

I wasn’t necessarily sure of what we were doing. I didn’t wanna do too much for fear of making him nauseous, but slow dancing? God, it’s like a dream and a nightmare all in one.

Nick reaches his hands up and suddenly undoes my bun, and I stumble, but he doesn’t seem to notice. I hate when people touch my hair and whenever my hair’s down in general, but I didn’t wanna smack him away and ruin the mood. 

“Whoa…” Nick mutters as he combs his fingers through it. “You’re really hot.” He stares at me, completely mesmerized, and I start to heat up. 

“W-What?” 

“I just mean,” He smiles a little, confused at his own words. “I don’t know. Y-You’re just really attractive.”

I struggle to get my words out, but Nick doesn’t seem to mind and continues to play with my hair. His hand slides down my face, and we lock eyes.

“You uh, you good?” I stutter, dragging my hand further down his back.

The boy doesn’t respond, and I pull away from him out of embarrassment. I wasn’t sure where any of this was going, but I knew whatever it was, I wanted to be sober for it. I didn’t wanna have the greatest kiss of my life and then not even remember it.

“Let’s uh, let’s just go back and sit down. My legs are tired.”

Nick nods. “Oh. Um, okay… I’m still kinda nauseous anyway,” He sighs as he follows me back over to the bench. 

“Do you wanna take a nap or something so you can sober up?”

He looks around. “There’s nowhere to sleep out here…and there’re so many people inside.”

I pat my lap and watch as he curls up in a ball, resting his head on my legs.

“How about that? You good?”

He smiles and closes his eyes. “Mhm.”

I sigh with relief and then tie my hair back up. I lean on my hand, zoning out as I caress his little red ears. I seriously don’t get this kid—one second, he hates me, and the next second…he’s pressed against my body, running his fingers through my hair.

I cover my mouth and lean my head back, squirming a little as Nick sleeps in the middle of my lap.

I can’t believe such a minor thing turned me on. Seriously, what the fuck is going on?

I can’t think straight, both my mind and my vision are fuzzy—I’m falling apart, and it’s not just because of the alcohol. 

Man…

I take a deep breath and stare at Nick. He looks so comfortable, and it’s sweet. If anything, seeing him so calm and not crying or what seemed to be horny was relaxing. Who knew I’d be so mesmerized by seeing someone smile in their sleep? 

Hell, for passing out on a bench in fifty-degree weather, I had slept really well. However, I expected to be awoken by my phone, or if anything, Deja. 

I don’t know what time it is as my eyes pop open, but all I hear is someone throwing up. The cold air attacks my entire body, and everyone who was out here earlier is gone, including Nick, and I get worried.

Did Zeke find him when I was sleeping? Did he take him and drive off somewhere? Is he in the hospital?! Jesus Christ—I broke his promise again!

I jump up and run towards the sound. I peek behind a tree and, to my relief, find Nick. Though, it wasn’t too relieving since he was clenching his stomach while puking into the grass.

“Holy shit! Are you okay?!” I squat down and rub his back as he coughs a little.

He wipes his mouth. “I didn’t even drink as much as I did yesterday! I don’t get it!” He yells and starts coughing again.

“Hey, hey, calm down! Just take a deep breath, okay?”

He nods a bit, and I watch as his back rises and lowers. I continue rubbing it, and after a few minutes, he sits up and hugs me, suddenly beginning to cry into my chest.

“Nikki…” I whisper, returning the gesture.

He mumbles random things into my shirt, but I can’t make out any of it, so I just kiss the top of his head.

“It’ll be okay, Nick. I got you…”

He pulls away, and I help him to his feet, but like before, the only thing keeping him up is me. I wipe his face and then carry him into the house in my arms, though as I walk through the door, I run into Louis cleaning up.

“Oh hey, Kyler! Thanks for bringing your drinks! I saw you earlier but…you seemed busy,” He says and looks at Nick.

I yawn and sit the smaller guy down. “Ah yeah, no problem. Do you know what time it is?”

The redhead checks his watch. “Quarter till five. The party ended like an hour and a half ago. Deja’s been looking for you.”

I scratch the back of my neck. “Shit… My bad.”

He shrugs. “It’s all good. You seem like you had fun.”

Louis was my dormmate before I moved in with Deja. He was chaotic, and we got along well, so I’m not surprised that he became a party fanatic as the years went on. While I swore he could see through my fuckboy façade, he never brought it up.

“Didn’t you have a hoodie with you? Don’t forget that,” He says while proceeding to lug some trash bags.

“Oh yeah. Wait—why aren’t you drunk?”

Louis laughs. “Wasn’t in the mood tonight. I just felt like people watching.” He focuses on Nick again. “Wait, are you friends with the kid who gave Nathan a lap dance?”

Nick continues to sit there on the floor, completely zoned out. 

“I-I guess? You can’t really blame him, though. I heard he was drunk as hell.”

Louis laughs. “Nah, I don’t care—I found it hilarious! Meanwhile, Nathan won’t show up to a single party with Zeke anymore because he’s afraid of him making his friends do more of that shit.”

I snicker. “That explains why I haven’t seen him in a while.”

“Anyway, we should hang out again sometime. Maybe someplace that’s not filled with a ton of underage drinkers.” 

I smile, and we fist bump. “Yeah, that would be nice.”

Louis looks at Nick again and pats his head. “You should come along too.”

Nikki stays quiet, and then the redhead shrugs and walks off. I run back into the yard to grab his hoodie, tying it around his waist after coming back inside. Though, he falls into me after I help him off the floor.

“I…had a lot of fun hanging out with you,” He whispers shakily. “Thank you.”

I smile, ruffling his hair. “Don’t mention it! I did too. Now you should probably go home and rest up.”

He nods but continues to stand in front of me. “Louis is gone, right?” He mumbles.

“Yeah, why?”

Nick quickly kisses me on the cheek, and I freeze, watching as he attempts to run off. However, due to his lack of coordination, he spun around, took a step, and fell flat on his face.

“Holy hell, are you okay?!” I ask, squatting beside him.

He nods, and I help him get back up, trying not to laugh. 

“Thank you for that, Nikki.”

He blushes and avoids my gaze. “Hey. Um… before you go, can I have your number?”

I grin as my heart starts to race. “Oh fuck yeah! I thought you’d never ask!” I beam as he hands me his phone and I type in my digits.

“Thanks,” He says quietly.

I pull out my wallet and hand him some cash, though he gives me a weird look.

“Uh, for a Lyft or something.”

“O-Oh. Thank you.” 

I run my fingers through his hair and cup his face. “Get home safe,” I say softly and peck him on the cheek, not to be weird—just to return his earlier gesture.

He flushes red and covers his face. “Y-You too,” He manages to get out before speed walking out of my sight with a grin plastered across his face.