The OC Job Fair

"We can do that!" Eins exclaimed, looking over the sleeping spirits. "Three heads for three kids! Not a problem!"

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Eins," commanded Zwei. "We may be a guard dog, but we're still quite busy."

"Shouldn't it be easy then?" asked Drei. "If we have three heads, can't one of us watch them while the other two rest? Isn't that what we do with the prisoners?"

"Yeah! Listen to him, Zwei! He has a point!"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Come ONNN, it'll be easy!"

"If it'll shut you two up, fine. You have no need to pay us." Eins and Drei cheered in unison at Zwei's giving in. Finally--they'd be able to do what they do best for someone else.

"We're going to need someone who is capable of watching over a bizarre disease alien and a troublesome space demon. Any help is greatly appreciated, and you will be paid generously. Be warned, however. This is not for the faint of heart, the germophobic, or the weak. Come prepared with a generous helping of sweets, food, and heavy artillery."

“That’ll be fine,” spoke Mendel. “I’ve had to deal with countless of unstable creatures, it’s basically my role around here. A few aliens doesn’t sound too hard.” He seemed to smile underneath his mask, eyes squinting up, and he sifted through his pockets. “As for sweets, I hope toffees are okay. And as for heavy artillery...Don’t have much of that, but I can assure you my coven can get their hands on something from a fellow Veteran.”

-

“I need someone who can get me some gemstones, and a good supply of them. The hex master of our coven is absent as of right now for travels and I happen to need some gems for some experiments, but I’m not an expert in that field. I can pay you in any plants or herbs you may need, or I can get you a dog or something. Anything is possible with science.” His eyes glimmered.

"ya need gems? I can get ya gems. I happen to be an expert on gems and their effects. Is there a specific type of gem ya need? eh, I will get ya a bunch of each. I will bring extra with me so I don't eat the ones ya need. ya can do experiments yes? I will specify what ya need to cook up later."

"now, I need a peacekeeper of sorts. I must leave to set up an arrangement in a nearby kingdom. Now, my subjects are rather rowdy and have cannibalistic tendencies. I need someone who will prevent them from eating each other alive, that is usually my job. a quick note, they can all spit acid and the pups may spray ya with something smelly from their tails. Ma is to be left alone, she is in a foul, murderous mood lately. My ma? she is the queen, she looks like me but, with white on her face and is massive, 71ft 4in to be exact".

"Hmm. That is indeed a problem, but I may have a solution to that. Nothing serves as a better time out than turning everyone into frogs, after all!"

"Hello! If you be so kind, would you please help me carry these boxes into the castle? Each box has eight vases of roses in them, and I want to surprise my queen with a room full of beautiful flowers! Of course, they're not as beautiful as him. Come! We have 82 more boxes to bring in before noon!"

“Maybe I can help? Messenger of the gods, y’know! But anyways, I do have a lot of experience of carrying heavy things, haha! I can also help carry those boxes quietly, since there’s no use surprising him if you’re so noisy about it! I can also move quickly if you need that as well!”

______________

“Speaking of this whole ‘messenger of the gods’ thing, I need someone to help me with my job. It’s not as sketchy as it sounds, I swear! But anyways, I have a huge quota of messages to deliver tomorrow! Because of schoolwork, I’ve kind of been falling behind on that... don’t worry, I’ll try to deliver as many messages as I can tomorrow! No guarantees that I’ll be able to deliver that many messages by myself tomorrow...”

"It really depends: How many messages do you need moving, how far do they have to go and how many others are you hiring? Because if everything checks out with me, I'd be willing to lend you a hand for the appropriate price"

The message you receive is staticky and heavily distorted, but there is a clear sound of gun fire in the background as a woman talks, sounding desperate "Need- Help, Deal has gone- Any who can hear- Need extraction- Repeat- Extract- Injured, need-"

Ollie watched the clip, confused as to why this strange thing had been placed on his doorstep. “Deal has gone? What the heck does that even mean? Besides, where was this even recorded?” He thought, playing it again. “Need extraction? Injured?? Help??? This must be some sort of prank.. how does anyone expect me to help with anything even slightly conflict based?” Deciding that this must be a joke or trick of sorts to scare or fluster him, Ollie threw the recording into the bin, went back to studying Chinese and resolved to ask Akemi about it later.

———————

“Oh, Hey, I heard you were good at maths? Is that true?” Surprised, you look at the guy in front of you. You’ve seen him around before, but have never spoken to him. “....is it?” He questioned, getting visibly flustered. You shrug your shoulders, wondering what he wants. “Um.. well, I guess a shrug is good enough.. will you tutor me in maths? I really need your help if I want to pass!”

"Erm.. That seems simple enough..." the blonde blushed, "I'll head to the store and get you some in a couple minutes..."

"I need someone to help me in my dream collection business. You'll need to collect dreams without the detection of the dreamer and be able to leave quickly afterwards. If you don't have dream collection as an ability normally, magic should suffice."

"I am... not a 'superhero'. per say, but I am a mage. As I already do crowd control and babysit literally an entire castle full of people, I feel like this wouldn't be hard at all. Big and bad doesn't spook me, either... have you seen a broodmother? Or a pride demon, for that matter... ugly fuckers." Sule shudders. Gross.

--

"Can you please babysit my companions? Please? I just want to sleep in peace for an hour. An hour is just all I ask." His face bares a mix of desperation and 'i want to fuckin die' tiredness. He is d o n e.

"I can try to babysit your companions for you. I'm pretty good at helping people calm down and relax, so I might be able to tame them a little bit for you and make them a little bit less loud," Chanala said calmly, before pausing. "Although, if I'm not able to be of as much help and you still have trouble sleeping, I can brew you some of my special tea. It's very good for helping with sleep."
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"I've found it really difficult go out and collect some of the herbs and materials I need for both my teas and my work due to the creatures prowling the area recently. I would greatly appreciate someone who could help me out in these times," the harpy said calmly, her frustration at the situation dulled down in tone. "I don't have much money to offer, but I will be in your debt. Whether it's eliminating the creature, escorting me or getting what I need - I'll take the help in any form."

"I absolutely adore work like this. I'm sure my coworkers will help me as well," she examines the harpy, "I'm sure we can work something out eventually, I've never met  a harpy before. And you have wings too? Maybe you could help me with some simple mercenary work. Your abilities could be super useful."

--

"I just need help distracting a crowd for a bit while I retrieve something. Please nothing destructive. It's in a crowded museum within the city Hautausmaa, and many of the things within are priceless. I can pay you or help you with a job as long as you complete your part of the deal."