The Fires of Summer (first draft)

In his dreams he's not a raven this time. He doesn't seem to be anything at all. He's in a white room with a table in the middle, and on it is a baby, strapped down by its arms and legs. It's such a small thing, with tanned skin and white hair, and immediately Haley knows that it's his. This is his child, laid out on a table, barely moving as though sedated.

The rest of the room is covered in various surfaces, with a sink and thin leather gloves

Corvus enters the room. He brings with him a tray of tools that he sets down on one of the surfaces beside the table. He takes out a scalpel and without even a moment's hesitation cuts into the baby. It makes a subdued noise like it's trying to cry but can't. The scalpel moves down to the child's stomach, then Corvus stops. He takes another tool and with it smashes the baby's sternum, pulling out the broken pieces. Next come the lungs, so small in Corvus' hands, and then the heart, sticky with gold-purple blood.

The baby is still alive. It finally makes a noise, releasing one agonised scream.

Haley wakes up with a start, clutching at his stomach. Tears are running down his cheeks and he's hyperventilating, his head spinning. Without even thinking he gets out of bed, feeling as though he's going to fall over, and he leaves his room. He follows the hallway, one hand on the wall and the other on his stomach, until he reaches the door of someone he doesn't want anything to do with.

He walks in without knocking and sobs. Axel shoots up in bed, and when he sees Haley crying he gets out and to his feet, coming over to him. "Hey, what's wrong? Come lie down, breathe with me."

Haley lets Axel guide him towards the bed. He lies down with the changeling, immediately snuggling into his chest. "I had a nightmare."

"What happened?" Axel frowns, running his fingers so gently through Haley's hair.

"My baby," he sobs, hugging his arms tight to his body, "Corvus had him, and he cut him open. He took out his organs and he screamed and I can still hear it in my mind."

Axel sighs, reaching a hand down to place on Haley's stomach. His hand is so warm and comforting, and Haley feels his breaths calming down at that alone. Axel's voice is low and soft. "It's okay angel, you're safe, our child is safe. Corvus is gone."

Haley pushes his face into Axel's chest. He feels the way he's breathing and replicates it until he's breathing evenly again. He's so dizzy and his stomach hurts. He can still hear the screaming in his head, the baby's open chest behind his eyes.

Axel hushes him quietly, squeezing him tight. Haley hates it. His hands tremble and he feels so terribly ashamed of himself. I say I'm going to stay away and here I am, days later, in his arms. Yet he can't bring himself to pull away from Axel. He loves him. Haley loves Axel and he's mated to him, and there's nothing he can do about it. He remembers what Corvus said, about how he was made for Axel, how he has no choice in this. It makes him feel a little bit better to think that this is against his free will, even if he knows deep down that it's not true.

He realises that he misses Axel. He misses the way Axel holds him and he misses Axel's voice and he misses being close to him altogether. He can't be apart from him. He'll never be able to, no matter what he does. He's fallen for the apocalypse, and now it's going to wrap him up in its arms, twisting and turning in a sick dance until it ends time itself.

He manages to fall asleep again in Axel's arms, and this time he doesn't have any dreams at all.

When he wakes up, Axel is still lying next to him, his eyes shut. His white lashes are so long and pretty when his eye is closed, and he looks so serene. The cuts on his face are fully healed by now thanks to his power. Haley lets himself stay there until Axel stirs, then he gets up and heads for the door.

"Wait," Axel calls behind him groggily. Haley pauses, turning around to face Axel as he rises in bed, rubbing his eyes. "Just... let me wake up for a minute."

"Make it quick," Haley frowns, but he waits, wondering what Axel could possibly have to say.

"Look, I just..." Axel sighs, getting himself out of bed and rummaging through his dresser. He pulls out a red shirt that he quickly puts on, then some black trousers. He completes his look with yet another black leather jacket, studs on the shoulders and the front. When he's done, he comes to stand before Haley, looking him in the eye. "I'm sorry."

"Is that it?" Haley snaps, going to turn away, but Axel reaches out to grab his shoulder.

"No, that's not it. I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking when I said all of that to you. I know I've done something that I can never make better," there's a deep sincerity in his voice as he speaks. "But I want to do my best for you, Haley, because I love you. I regret everything I said to you on the dock. I should've just been honest with you and let you go. I promise I will never use your name against you like that, and I won't hide anything from you again, and I won't blame you when things go wrong for me because my actions are not your fault and they never have been. I don't want to miss out on our child's life because I've been a terrible person. I'll understand if you still want to go and I won't blame you, but... I still need you, Haley. I need you because you're all I have, and because this war isn't going to treat us kindly."

Haley stands and considers his words. He can tell in Axel's voice that it's heartfelt, but he's conflicted. No matter what he says, he can't reverse time. "Axel, I can't be with you after everything, after you killed Ellamia, after you lied to me and manipulated me into being with you. I can't forgive you but I can't hate you even if I want to. I won't keep my child from you and I'm not leaving. It'd be a death sentence out there alone."

Axel's ears tilt downwards and Haley sees a tear trickle down his face. But he doesn't blow up like last time, he just rubs his eye and takes a deep breath. "Okay."

Haley has to look at his feet. The look on Axel's face makes him feel so guilty. "...How did it happen? Why were you disguised as Corvus?"

"I wasn't going to do it, initially," Axel says, "but I saw she was getting cornered by the fire, and I couldn't resist the opportunity. I disguised myself as Corvus so nobody would know what I did, and I killed her quickly, with a sword to the heart, not with my blood magic. I didn't let her suffer."

Haley takes a long breath. He doesn't know how to react. He doesn't feel anything right away, but then a deep ache settles in his stomach and he feels tears prickling at his eyes, but they don't fall. "What now?"

Axel clears his throat, looking away to hide the tears rolling down his face. Haley finally looks up now that he's just facing the side with the flowers. Axel tries to keep his voice stable as he speaks. "We need to go save my children. I didn't get the chance when I was disguised as a guard at the palace."

Haley can't help but feel angry on their behalf. His children had been right there and he prioritised murdering his father over them. He pushes down his feelings - he has things he wants to get done, too. "I want to search for the Raven Queen. Her disappearance isn't right."

"Okay," Axel agrees, "we can search for her together. I have a connection that might have an idea of where to start with that."

"Great," Haley nods.

"I want to find a way to end this war, too," Axel says. "If any of them possess the throne this world is going to keep going downhill. None of my siblings are fit to rule."

"Who's going to rule if they don't?" Haley asks.

"I don't know. We'll figure that out along the way," Axel shrugs.

"Alright," Haley says, and he makes for the door.

"Wait," Axel calls after him again. Haley stops, turning to face him. "Please stay. Just a little longer. I'll do anything, please."

He frowns, but when he looks at Axel and sees the desperation on his face he can't say no to him. "Fine."

Haley returns himself to the bed. He sits down, his back against all of the pillows, and Axel crawls in beside him, coming to rest his head in Haley's lap, against his stomach. The pirate sighs, watching as Axel closes his eye, though the tears don't stop coming, his chest rising and falling with shuddering breaths that he keeps completely silent, as if not to inconvenience anyone. Haley can't help but run a hand through his messy hair, thinking to himself that it's in need of a good brush.

"When this is all over," Axel murmurs, his arms hugging his tail close to his body, "I'll find a way to free you from the bond. I love you."

Haley doesn't respond, but he knows that it's an undeniably good thing that he'll be free. He doesn't want to be owned by anyone. It was a stupid idea from the start, only beneficial to them both because it allowed them both great amounts of power that Haley doesn't deem worth it anymore.

I love you, the words ring in Haley's head. He stares at the wall, trying to settle his sick stomach and his racing thoughts. He loves Axel too. He knows it with all of his heart, that no matter how much distance he puts between them he loves the changeling. Yet when he sits here, Axel's head in his lap, he just feels so very empty.

He's fallen for the apocalypse, and he knows that it's going to tear him apart, until there's nothing of him left but what he's really made of, and Haley is terrified of what that will be.