Barcode Boy: After Hours

I could never forget that day, no matter how hard I tried. I had expected it to be the worst day of my life, and months prior I had been dreading it. It was the thirteenth of June. School was already out, for I had just graduated from fifth grade, and was on my way into the big leagues, or at least that’s what my mother said.

That warm sunny morning was our moving date.

I was eleven years old. We were leaving behind the house, the neighbors, and the school that I had grown so used to over the years.

My parents met in Pittsburgh in college. They got married there, and eventually had me. However, my mom’s parents lived east, four hours from us, in Chesterbrook. She wanted to be closer to them, which I understood, but also hated.

I felt like she didn’t care about how this would affect me. Maybe she thought it was okay because I was gonna be moving into sixth grade, and that would require a school change anyway. The difference is now I’ll be starting in the Fall with people I’ve never seen in my life. Not that I ever had any traction with my old classmates, but now I was starting at ground zero.

There was so much stuff to move in what felt like so little time. There were so many things I had to get rid of. It was less of a matter of there being too much stuff to carry, but more of ‘you’re gonna be in middle school, do you really need those stuffed animals from when you were five?’ Of course, my answer was yes, but in the end, I ended up with only a third of the plushies I had at the start.

It was horrible.

I remember being the last one out of the house. The last one to turn off the lights, the last one to close the door. My parents were already by the car when I broke down, falling to my knees on the porch. It was seven in the morning, and I remember my dad hastily pulling me away, saying that I was gonna wake up the whole neighborhood.

I tried to fight his grasp, but before I knew it, we were on the highway, beginning our four-hour road trip with no plan to return to point A. I curled up in my seat, hiding in my hoodie and trying to get comfortable. I locked eyes with my mom in the rear-view mirror as she inserted a CD into the radio.

“Honey, you know we’re sad too, but you’ve had a year to prepare.”

I pulled on my seatbelt. “I was hoping you guys were just joking,” I huffed.

My dad snickered. “C’mon Carter, where’s your optimism? This is your chance to make new friends, not to mention we’ll be able to see Nana and Papa all the time now! It’s a fresh start!”

“I don’t want a fresh start! Everything was fine the way it was!” I hissed, trying to swallow the lump that had taken residence in my throat once again.

My dad scratched his beard as he drove. “Watch your tone, young man.”

“Carter we’ve talked about this more times than I can count. There’s no going back now.”

It felt like the tears were burning my face as they fell.

“Not to mention, I’d expect someone your age to be more enthusiastic. You get to make new friends at a time when everyone still really fits in. There’s nothing to worry about,” My dad added.

I pulled out my 3DS, ignoring him. He says that, but if that’s the case, why didn’t I have any friends to say goodbye to or stay in touch with?

I tried making friends, but maybe I tried too hard. Either that or I was just that odd one out. The last one picked for group projects, and the last one picked for team sports… The only attention I got were punches in the gut, having my papers smacked to the ground, or getting my lunch dumped in the trash can when I went to get a napkin.

Friends? What were those? All I got were bullies. A shit-ton of them starting in first grade, some of which stuck around until fifth, and others that joined the crew halfway through.

I never understood why I didn’t fit in. Sure, I wasn’t the greatest at sports, but I still participated. I played video games like many of the other boys my age, so that couldn’t be it. Did they see something I didn’t? Was my hair too blond? Too curly? Not curly enough? I dressed like the other boys my age. Maybe I was too short. 

Maybe it was because I was the quiet kid. I didn’t talk much, probably because I gave up trying to make friends when I was only seven. But I didn’t even participate in class much either. My teachers would lecture the students when they would laugh at me for asking a dumb question or just answering a question wrong.

There were so many things those kids would tease me for. They’d write insults on my desk and wave their high test scores in my face. That started happening so early on that I think it sucked the motivation out of me when it came to getting my schoolwork down.

I used to think I was smart, but slowly but surely, I was no longer in the fancy reading groups or high-level math classes. Or at least whatever was considered high level for elementary school math…

I don’t know what happened.

All I know is that I didn’t want to start over.

Sure, a reset would be nice, but not like this. I just wanted a do-over at life. Either that or nothing at all.

I didn’t want to gain new bullies who’d find new things to tease me about. I didn’t want to try and find my way a new around a school that wasn’t one I had toured before graduation. I didn’t want to go to school at all. The moment I entered our new house, I wanted to run to my bedroom and lock myself in there for the rest of eternity.

Starting over across the state, in a new neighborhood with new people, in a new school with new kids, only seemed appealing if I could get a new body along with it.

I’d choose to be tall and smart and athletic. I’d rather have curly brown hair than blond curls and maybe glasses too, since all the kids I knew who wore them always looked nice. And maybe I could wear tons of dress shirts and preppy clothes to make me look smart.

Maybe then everyone would like me.

The traffic was so bad that I slept for most of the trip to ward off car sickness. We made several pit stops, so by the time we had made it to Chesterbrook, it was one in the afternoon. The moving truck pulled up behind us not long after we had stopped in front of the house.

It was more modern than our old one, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. However, despite the contemporary theme of everything, there was more greenery. More trees, more grass, more shrubs. The best way to describe Pittsburgh was pavement. Pavement and concrete. Everything was congested, with cars lined up on the street, leaving no space for medians with baby trees and flowers. I guess that was a plus.

My parents had already left the car, though I continued to sit inside, examining everything from the window. My dad was talking with the moving guys, and my mom came over and opened the door.

“What’re you still doing in there? If you’re not compelled to take a look at the scenery from outside, come and help me with these bins please,” She said, walking away to open the trunk.

I stepped out of the car, clutching my backpack full of snacks, DS games, and chargers. I stared at the house. It was a townhouse, although it was huge. We lived in a townhouse before, but it was so small. This one even had a driveway. And across the street, there was a basketball court, along with some more houses.

Everything was so beautiful, but I couldn’t seem to step away from the car.

It was like visiting my relatives in their big houses. Everything was pretty, but it wasn’t home. That’s not where I’d return to at the end of the day to go to sleep. Neither was this place.

I watched as my dad unlocked the front door.

“Carter, aren’t you gonna come see?”

I held my backpack tighter. It smelled like our old house. I felt the lump beginning to return.

I heard my mother sigh, but when I looked up, the door was already open, and they were already inside the house. Then, before I knew it, the movers started carrying boxes inside, and I watched from afar as my dad helped them.

I dug my face into my backpack, holding back tears. I tried to block out the sounds of footsteps and doors opening and closing. This had to be a dream. 

Yeah, that’s it!

Maybe I was just in a coma from when that kid knocked me out from throwing a basketball at my head! There’s no way any of this could be real. 

“Hi!”

I jumped, removing my face from my backpack, locking eyes with a boy, who stepped back at my sudden action.

“Ah sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” He said and grinned.

I froze. It’s like all my knowledge of English left my body, along with how to move my limbs. When he smiled, it felt like my whole body caught on fire.

The kid chuckled. “Are you alright?”

I finally took my eyes off him and gulped. “A-Ah. Y-Yeah,” I squeaked, my voice cracking in the most horrible way possible. However, he continued to smile at me.

What the hell was wrong with me? Sure, it’s been a while since someone other than my parents greeted me with a smile and enthusiasm, but c’mon.

“You just moved here right?” The boy asked, still beaming.

I nodded hesitantly. 

“That’s awesome! There are so many girls on this block, I’m happy to have a guy to hang with now! And it’s even better that you’re right next door!”

Jesus Christ, I thought his smile couldn’t get any bigger. It’s like my heartbeat was echoing throughout my body. He was so hyper. Hyper and…cute.

He reached out his hand to shake mine. “What’s your name?”

I froze again. Why did he want to touch me? My hands were drenched in sweat, there was no way he’d keep up his friendly energetic act if he figured that out!

I squeezed my backpack, staring at the ground. “C-Carter,” I murmured.

“Carter?”

“Mhm.”

The boy pulled his hand back since I wasn’t planning on returning the gesture.

“That’s cool! Uh, my name’s Jean, but you can call—”

“Jean? That sounds nice,” I admitted, hiding my smile behind my backpack.

He paused. “Wait, really?”

I nodded. “Ah wait, I-I didn’t mean to cut you off. What were you saying?”

Jean shook his head. “Oh, nothing important. It’s all good!”

I nodded again, still avoiding eye contact. Those first few seconds were all I needed. He was really good-looking, and it was kind of intimidating, for lack of a better word. I felt weird for thinking that, but I wasn’t lying.

He had freckles scattered across his cheeks and nose, and hazel eyes that seemed to sparkle in the sunlight. His hair looked nice too. It was brown and big and poofy and stopped above his ears. I don’t know—all I know is that it looked soft and shiny. And he had a slit in his right eyebrow, which looked hella cool, at least to me.

“Why do you keep hiding behind your bag?” Jean asked, placing his hand on it, slowly pushing it down.

I quickly shoved it down below my face. “S-Sorry. I don’t know.”

“Where did you move here from?”

“Pittsburgh,” I said, my voice cracking again. I cringed at the sound, but the brown-haired boy didn’t seem to notice.

“Ah, that’s cool! At least you didn’t live across the country before or something, because then moving would probably be a giant hassle.” He laughed. “I’ve only ever lived here,” Jean said and glanced back at his house.

“I see,” I responded quietly. Despite my lack of energy, Jean still didn’t seem to have any plans to back out of the conversation.

“Have you looked around your new house yet?”

I shook my head. 

“Aw, why not! I mean, imagine all the space there is to run around in there! Doesn’t that sound fun? Can I look around your house? Can I? Can I? Can I?” The freckled boy bounced up and down, grinning.

“Uh yeah, sure.”

Jean started running towards my house but then turned back to me. “Wait, aren’t you coming?”

“No, I’m…fine where I am.” I said, placing my bag back in the car.

The other boy ran back over to me and grabbed my hand. “Pshh, don’t leave me hanging. Don’t you wanna check out your bedroom and junk?”

I squealed at the action, pulling my hand back and wiping them on my jeans.

“Ah sorry! I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable!”

I shook my head, mentally punching myself, knowing that my face was probably a tomato. “No, you’re fine! I-It’s just my hands are really sweaty, and I didn’t think that be too appealing so—”

Jean smiled and grabbed my hand back. “It’s okay, I don’t mind!”

I tried to smile back. It was hard not to as I stared at his face, memorized by that stupidly pretty grin of his.

“Well, would you look at that?” I heard my mother say from the house. “You’re already making friends. See, we told you there was nothing to worry about!”

I swiftly pulled my hand away from Jean’s, hiding it behind my back. “N-No, that’s not—he was just—”

The freckled boy ran over to the woman, radiating happiness like usual. “Are you Carter’s mom?” He beamed.

She nodded and shook his hand. “Indeed I am! And who might you be?”

“Um, I’m Jean, but you can call me Asher! I really like your son, he’s super cool!”

My mom laughed. “It’s nice to meet you Asher, and I’m glad. Y’know,” She began, now quieter. “On the way here Carter was crying and angry about the idea of making new friends, so I’m glad you won him over. And on day one, that is!”

“Mom!” I yelled.

She waved her hand. “Oh pipe down, it’s no big deal.”

Jean looked at me, and I blushed, clenching my fist. “This is so stupid,” I hissed under my breath, racing back to the car and shutting myself back inside. I curled up in the seat again, tearing up. 

My mother knocked on the window. “Carter, stop hiding in the car! You can explore the house or help us move in! Sulking isn’t an option.”

I turned my back towards her, sobbing. “I just want to go home!!”

She didn’t respond, and I continued crying. If only I had her keys. If only I had her keys, I could try to get the hell out of here.

Suddenly the car door opened, but just as I was about to whip around, someone wrapped their arms around me.

“Hey,” Jean whispered into my ear. “Since you won’t go in your house, can I at least hang out in here with you?”

I sniffled. “I mean, I’m not sure why you’d want to do that, but go ahead I guess.”

Jean let go of me and climbed over some of the bags in order to sit next to me. I closed the door back and tried to wipe my tears away, but even though I had an audience, they wouldn’t stop falling.

“Y’know, I know this is off-topic and sort of weird, but your eyes are really pretty,” The boy said with a chuckle.

“What? Really?”

He nodded with a smile. “Yeah, I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone with teal eyes. It’s super cool!”

I wiped my face with my hoodie sleeve. “Oh. T-Thanks… People usually think they’re weird.”

Jean leaned back in the other seat, gazing out the window. “Eh, they’re just jealous. Pay them no mind.”

I looked at him. How was he so calm and collected? And nice. And energetic at all the right times. His hands didn’t tremble, his voice didn’t crack, and he didn’t turn bright red every time he opened his mouth. He’s everything I’m not. I fucking hate it.

The freckled boy caught me looking at him, and I jumped, but he just smiled.

“Alright, so I know you’re probably embarrassed about your mom ratting you out or whatever, but don’t worry about it. As I said, I’ve never moved. I’m sure I’d feel the same if it were me, however, I have no experience, so I have no right to judge,” Jean stated maturely. “But I mean, even if you miss home or your old life, why are you so against leaving the car and exploring the house?”

I shoved my hands in my pockets, frowning. “I-I don’t know. What’s it to you?”

Jean blushed and looked off to the side. “Well, I mean, I guess I just thought maybe you’d cheer up if you run around. Like, even if you’re mad at your parents, you could let off some steam just getting some exercise.”

The brunet looked at me again. “I just wanna see you smile honestly. You seem really bummed, and I’d be honored to be the one to change that.”

I glared at him. “Why the hell are you so nice?”

“What?”

“Why the hell are you so nice to me?!” I yelled.

Jean frowned, and to be completely honest, it scared the crap out of me. He’d been smiling since the moment I met him, and if he ever did scowl, I guess I didn’t think it would be at me. Or at least I didn’t think I’d be the one to cause it.

“S-Sorry that was rude,” I interrupted before he could say anything. “I-I just—”

Jean looked back out the window and sighed. “Do you want me to be mean or something?” He chuckled awkwardly. “You’re nice too.”

“No, I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant. Wait, you think so?”

The boy messed with the hem of his shirt. “Mhm.”

Suddenly, I looked at his hand. I don’t know why, but I reached out and grabbed it. And I’m not sure why I noticed it now instead of earlier, but his hands were really soft.

“What?” He asked.

I gulped, my other hand clenched in my lap as I refused to look at him.

“Are…you okay?” 

I smiled at him, and his face lit up. “N-No…but I think I will be.”

“Carter…” He trailed off. 

My body felt like it was on fire, so I quickly let go and stared back out the window. 

“From the beginning, this entire thing seemed horrible. The thought of having to meet new people, trying to fit in again, and leaving my only safe place behind just…terrifies me. B-But maybe I can get used to this…now that I have you.”

I glanced at Jean, who was just staring at me in awe, red-faced. Oh god, that probably sounded so off.

“Ahaha!” I screeched. “Never mind, you didn’t hear that!” I yelled as I clumsily left the car and ran towards the house.

Jean started laughing and caught up to me so fast that I almost combusted when he touched my arm. But when I whipped around, he hugged me again, and I was so happy I almost broke into tears.

He was probably weirded out by how awkward I was and how I acted as if I’d never had a friend before, but it was true. Though, I wasn’t sure if it’d be okay to tell him that. Who knew an eleven-year-old boy could be so touch starved?

Hopefully being around Jean would stop me from turning into a tomato or freaking out whenever anyone merely poked me. It’d take some getting used to, but it’s totally worth it.

Jean and I stayed on the sidewalk, embracing each other for a while, laughing. Frankly, I was a bit confused as to why he didn’t mind giving me so much affection. That being said, despite craving attention from someone I wasn’t related to, I didn’t understand why I was so attached. We were both boys, but I didn’t want to let go. 

That was until a woman caught us.

“Asher let go of that boy. Let him get settled at least before you start clinging to him for dear life,” She said with a sigh.

Jean quickly let go of me, quite flustered.

“No, it’s okay, I don’t mind,” I responded quietly.

The woman was standing on the porch of the house next to mine, and I assumed she was Jean’s mom. They looked quite similar, and it helped me figure out where he got his good looks from.

My mother, who was still going in and out with my dad and emptying things from the car, smiled at her. “Oh, don’t worry about him! He’s not in the way or anything.”

Jean’s mom laughed, and soon enough they were next to each other, probably chatting about mom-related things. Jean seemed like he was trying to listen in, but I went back to staring at my house.

I gulped and finally climbed the stairs to the porch. When the freckled boy noticed I had moved, he ran over to me, but then his mom called him again.

“Asher, his mom says they’re gonna have a welcoming party once everything is together, so how about you wait until then to run around and hang out with Carter? Not to mention, you’ve been up since ten, and you still haven’t done your chores.”

Jean groaned and looked at me. “I guess I’ll be back then, sorry about that.”

“O-Oh, no it’s fine,” I said when in truth it really wasn’t. Hanging out with Jean was probably the only thing that was gonna prevent me from breaking down again. Otherwise, I felt so alone.

The boy seemed to notice my displeasure, and he patted my shoulder, grinning.

“Hey, I’ll be back! It’s not like I’m leaving forever!”

I nodded slowly and then watched as Jean untied his purple jacket from around his waist. I guess he liked purple because his jacket matched both his shoes and the text on his shirt. But as I got distracted by the coordination of his outfit, I didn’t notice him re-tying his jacket around my waist. 

“Just in case you don’t believe me, I’ll give you this. It’s my favorite jacket, so you can bet I’ll be back for it!” He beamed.

Once again, I froze, staring at the garment. Jean then ruffled my hair, embarrassing me even more, before waving and running back to his house.

I was standing in front of my doorway, in the way of people going in and out, so my dad lifted me up and placed me inside the house, in what I guess was going to become our living room.

“Go on, run around!” My dad encouraged me, smiling as well.

I nodded slowly, still looking at the jacket. I didn’t start moving until my dad nudged me further into the room. I wandered around, clutching the garment that Jean gave me. The walls of the first floor were all painted in warm tones which were pretty nice, and somehow made it feel less empty.

The kitchen was big enough to have a bar, and everything looked sparkly and new. And then I stopped. There was a back door in the kitchen which opened to the deck, but then there was another one. I opened it, expecting it to be a pantry, but instead, I was met with a staircase.

“Wait, is this a...”

“Yup!” My dad chimed in, resting his arm on my head. “We’ve got a basement now!”

My aunt’s house had a basement, but it was old and creepy, so while this was more space for us, there was no way I was going down there to be met with spider webs and creepy crawlies.

My dad read my expression and laughed. “Don’t make that face! Come on,” He said and grabbed my hand, leading me down the stairs.

When we got to the bottom, he flicked on the lights, and I gasped. 

“See, there’s nothing to be afraid of!”

Everything was nice and finished, and it looked quite cozy. I reached down and rubbed the soft carpet, unable to stop myself from smiling.

My dad patted my back, grinning at me. “This place isn’t so bad, right? Now you and Mom can’t lecture me for cheering too loud in the living room while watching football, yeah? And say you end up having a sleepover, you and your friends can have the basement all to yourself!”

He rubbed my head, and I blushed a little. That did sound pretty nice, actually. We could play video games down here and yell and roll around! 

Afterward, my dad left me to go back to help with the boxes while I continued to take in all the details of the basement. But soon enough, I ran back upstairs enthusiastically, to be met with the moving guys carrying furniture inside.

I stayed out of their way and ran up another flight of stairs to look at my future bedroom. I was finally getting excited about all of this.

My parent’s future bedroom was huge and even had its own bathroom, and then there were two smaller bedrooms, which the bigger choice of the two was gonna be mine. Our old place only had two bedrooms, so that was already a plus.

Now my dad could have his own office and stop taking residence at the dining room table. However, the fact that we had to let go of so many possessions really annoyed me since this place had way more space. But I guess it’s the hassle that would come with moving so many things and the extra money that would cost.

I wandered into the bathroom across the hall, which I guess was mine since my parents had their own. It was on the front side of the house, so I took a peek at the moving truck outside before running to my room. It was spacious, which was good, yet to no one’s surprise, it was uncomfortably empty. There was a ton of light coming in from the two windows which was pretty, and there was a giant tree in the backyard that took up a bit of the view.

As I closed my door, I noticed a mirror that stretched across the back of it. I was immediately flustered by my reflection. All I could think about was how good Jean looked in comparison to me, which sucked because first impressions were everything. He was all nice and coordinated, meanwhile, my eyes were still red, and I was wearing both a baggy hoodie and baggy jeans.

I mean, my outfit choice was for a comfortable car ride, but I guess I wasn’t that much of a fashionista either. Jean on the other hand… He looked so handsome. He’d probably still look great wearing something boring like this.

As I stared at my reflection, I noticed the jacket. I untied it and held it in my arms, just looking at it. Without thinking, I pulled it up to my face, inhaling the freckled boy’s scent. Almost immediately, my body relaxed, and I couldn’t help but smile as I closed my eyes.

Though part of me felt like a freakshow, it was just me in here, so no one else would know. However, then I came to a realization.

There was no way my family would be able to fully settle in just one day, or at least enough to throw a welcoming party. Who else would be coming? The rest of the neighborhood? Wouldn’t we have to send out tons of invitations? It wouldn’t just be Jean’s family, right? It would be wrong to exclude everyone else on the street, but also be less anxiety-inducing if we did.

Jean clearly gets hyped up at the thought of meeting new people, but that’s yet another thing that terrifies me. I’m eleven, yet I’m more comfortable hiding behind my parents at social gatherings. 

But back to the main problem. How long would I end up with Jean’s jacket? I mean, yes, it smells good, makes me happy, and calms me down, however, I can’t just steal it for several weeks. I’d feel bad, no matter how much I liked having it tied around my waist.

I took another deep breath of the scent and was about to sit on the floor in front of the mirror when the door opened, cracking me in the head and knocking me to the ground before I could get there willingly.

“Oh my god!” My mother yelled as I clasped my head, the jacket falling into my lap. “Honey, I’m so sorry! I didn’t expect you to be right behind the door! Are you okay?!”

She pulled me into her chest, and I nodded. “Y-Yeah, I’m fine. I’m sorry.” Luckily my hands were already a bit cold, so I used them as ice packs.

“No baby, I’m sorry! I was just looking for where you were!” She kissed my head, and I smiled.

“I was just wandering around and stuff.”

I watched as she tied her hair into a bun. “Well, what do you think? Isn’t everything awesomely spacious?”

I chuckled. “Ah, yeah. It’s cool.”

My mom noticed the garment in my lap and cocked her head to the side. “Wait, isn’t that the jacket that little hyper kid was wearing?”

I nodded, blushing a little. “Mhm.”

“Did he give it to you or something?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

She smiled. “Ah, well that’s quite nice of him! He sure is one spunky little boy, isn’t he? There’s sure to never be a dull moment when you’re around him. I’m glad you two became friends.”

I nodded again, grabbing the jacket and holding it against my chest. There was an awkward silence as Jean occupied my mind once again. I didn’t want to wait several weeks to see him again.

My mom ruffled my hair, practically reading my mind. “Y’know, you don’t have to wait all the way until we have a welcoming party to hang out with him.”

I quickly looked up. “Wait, really?”

She giggled. “Of course not! It’s summer, not to mention he’s right next door. Once you get your bedroom in order, the two of you can at least hang out in here! Or you can hang out on the porch and enjoy some popsicles!”

I grinned, jumping to my feet. “Okay! You said something about boxes, right? Let’s open those!” I exclaimed, running into the hallway.

My mom laughed at me and helped me bring several of them into my room. “Let’s hold out on opening them until you get your furniture in here, just so it’s not too congested.”

I nodded, and then my mom handed me my backpack that I had been clinging to earlier. 

“You can busy yourself with this until the time comes. I also put some more snacks in there for you,” She said after kissing my forehead.

I smiled. “Thanks! I love you!”

“Don’t mention it. And, I love you more,” She beamed, blowing me a kiss before going back downstairs.

After my mom left, I played Pokémon in my giant empty bedroom as my dad worked with the movers to organize the first floor and a few bits of the basement. Soon enough, they came upstairs and started moving things into my parent’s room, and my dad’s soon-to-be office.

At least a few hours had gone by before they finally ended with my room. My mom told me to point where I wanted my stuff to go, so by the time they were done, my bed was in the corner to the left of the window, my dresser was across the room from it, and my desk was by the closet. I also had a few bookcases that were by the door and under the window, and we had also spread out my rug from my old room.

It was funny because our move was the only time I genuinely cleaned my room. For once, there was no laundry on the floor or school papers scattered everywhere.

Luckily all of my new furniture matched. The walls were grey with a navy accent wall where my dresser was, but despite that being pretty boring in comparison to my old room, it didn’t matter since I was just gonna cover them in posters.

I started unboxing clothes and books to put away, and by the time I was done, my room no longer looked eerily spacious. It was still bigger, but now that it kinda looked like my old room, I think I could get used to it.

Somewhere along the way, my dad set up my TV on my dresser from my old room. I mean, now I felt like I didn’t need it since I could game in the basement now, but I guess we’d figure it out later. 

I also unpacked my two giant beanbags, placing them in front of my small TV, which cheered me up a whole lot, now that I knew someone I could sit in them with.

I sat Jean’s jacket on my bed and went into the bathroom with a change of clothes, to be met by my mother who was organizing things in the closet.

“Are you planning to wash up or something?” She asked while handing me a cloth.

I nodded, taking off my clothes as I turned on the water. “Mhm. Since the road trip’s over I guess I don’t need to be wearing loungewear.”

She nodded, and then left me in the bathroom to do my business. When I was done, I changed into some basketball shorts and a T-Shirt. Part of that was because it was hot outside, but the other half was because I always seemed to burn up when Jean would merely smile at me.

However, I threw on his jacket before running to his house, without even checking out the furniture layout of the first floor.

I stood on his porch and knocked on the screen door, watching as a preschooler ran up to me. He looked a lot like Jean, but at the same time, didn’t. I waved at him, but he immediately ran off, giggling. About a second later, Jean came to the door, holding hands with the boy. He smiled and let me inside.

“Hey, is it okay with your mom if we hang out now?”

Jean nodded aggressively. “Mhm! I was waiting for you to be done organizing stuff!”

The little kid holding onto Jean kept staring at me, and it was freaking me out.

“Who’s that?”

“Oh! This is my younger brother, Lloyd,” Jean said and kissed his brother’s forehead. “He’s five!”

Damn, Jean really was everything I aspired to be. He even had a sibling. 

“Ah, that’s cool. I’m an only child,” I said, chuckling awkwardly.

Jean let go of his brother and ran into another room, leaving the two of us at the front door.

“Do you like him?” I asked, knowing that my mom’s sister annoyed the crap out of her.

Jean nodded. “Mhm! He’s great! He rarely gets into trouble, and I really like hanging out with him. He’s always interested in what I’m doing, which is nice because I like explaining stuff and getting him into what I like, like video games and such!”

“Ah, that must be nice,” I mumbled, my gaze focused on his mismatched socks.

Jean patted my head, and I flinched. “But enough about him, we can all hang out later! Let’s go over to your place!”

I nodded, and Jean announced his departure to his mom before we walked back to my house. He ran around the first floor a little before we went up to my bedroom, collapsing onto one of my beanbags with an exhale.

“Your room is nice!”

I awkwardly sat beside him, unable to get comfortable. “T-Thanks.”

It seems that while I went to go fetch Jean, my mom left some more snacks in my room. Since it was late in the afternoon, I assumed they would hold me over until dinner.

“Ah wait, do you want your jacket back?” I asked, beginning to take it off.

“You can give it back when I leave. Now it adds a splash of color to your outfit!”

I looked down at what I was wearing again. I had a bad habit of wearing dull colors or none at all. I continued to take it off.

“Oh, are you sure? You have goosebumps.”

Jean chuckled. “Ah yeah, I guess so. I’ll take it back then,” He said as I handed it to him. “I get cold easily.”

I laughed softly. “I’m the opposite, I get hot easily.”

The freckled boy leaned back in his beanbag, stretching slightly as he put his jacket back on. “Wait, but you were wearing that hoodie earlier! Were you hot then?”

I nodded. “Haha yeah… I just wanted to be comfy for the car ride.”

“That’s understandable. My family doesn’t really do road trips. My relatives are close by—or at least the ones in the country are,” He responded, playing with his hair. 

“I mean, excluding the move, we’ve done a lot of road trips for vacation and stuff. They say it’s about the journey and not about the destination, but car rides are super boring.”

Jean snickered. “Yeah, sitting for several hours sounds horrible.”

I nodded, staring at the freckles on his face as he continued to look around my room. We didn’t say anything for a bit, but the more I looked at him, the harder my heart pounded. I didn’t understand what the hell was wrong with me. Did Jean feel like this when he made his first friend? He probably has so many that he can’t even remember. 

I just hated to think about what he might say or do if he figured out I was feeling like this. Or if he figured out I sniffed his jacket.

I curled up in my beanbag, pulling my knees to my chest. I was just excited to finally have a friend, but then again, he’d probably be a bit offended if he figured out how jealous I was of him too. Jealously would ruin this friendship before it even got to sleepover level. I needed to be content with how I was, but I didn’t see that happening anytime soon.

We’d have to see if I made more friends at the welcoming party, or through Jean, or at school. Geez, I didn’t wanna think about school. Even if I made more friends, it’s not like they would immediately make me intelligent and get me into GT classes. That’s not how it worked.

I was suddenly brought out of the zone and my downward spiral of thoughts when Jean touched me. He had his hand on my cheek, and I had no clue how long we’d been sitting in silence. This was a horrible idea.

“Are you okay?” The boy asked me, looking quite worried.

I felt like I was melting into his hand, and once again, I couldn’t form sentences. But the longer I struggled to speak, the more awkward it became as we just stared at each other. I wanted to cry again, but I didn’t want to cry in front of him. I need to stop that pattern now.

“I—U-Uh,” I stammered, my face burning. I gave up and closed my eyes, placing my hand over Jean’s. 

“Carter?” The boy asked hesitantly.

I leaned onto his small, soft hands, my lip quivering as a tear rolled down my face. I sniffled as Jean took his other free hand and cupped my face, rubbing my cheek with his thumb.

I opened my eyes a bit, flustered with how close he was to me, but unable to do anything about it.

“Jean, I’m so sorry I keep crying. I know it’s awkward and a-annoying—”

The kid pressed his forehead to mine. “It’s okay,” He whispered with a smile. “This is your house and your room. You’re free to do whatever you want.”

He then pulled me into an embrace, and I clung to his jacket, crying harder now as I took in his scent again. “Not to mention, you’ve been under a lot of stress up until today, so it only makes sense. It’ll take a bit before you’re finally content with what’s going on.”

The air conditioning was freezing, but Jean warmed me up so much. Hugging someone my size would never stop being so satisfying. And then I noticed something. Jean’s heart was beating as fast as mine was, maybe even faster than mine, but the realization calmed me down.

He continued to lean over me for a while as I clung to him, hiccupping and trying not to cry so loud that my parents would hear me. Jean would rub my back every so often as I soaked the crook of his neck with my tears.

“Hey Carter,” The boy began softly. “What is it that you left back in Pittsburgh that makes you so sad?”

I sniffled, playing with his hair which I could now confirm was quite soft. “My house.” I mumbled.

“Just that? What about friends and stuff?”

I hesitated. I guess now was a good time as any. “I… I didn’t have any friends to say goodbye to.”

Jean pulled away to look at me, his eyes wide. “You’re kidding.”

I avoided his gaze and scoffed. “I wish.”

The freckled boy wiped my face, but the action just caused me to start crying again. “You’re the only person I’ve met who’s ever treated me so nicely. Everyone either teases me or ignores me. I’ve never had a friend over, I’ve never been invited to parties—I may be introverted, but all I wanted was at least one friend!” I wept.

“I didn’t wanna move here and start over! I was used to my home and my street and my neighborhood! I didn’t wanna have to meet new people, just to get made fun of and ignored again. B-But then I met you,” I mumbled. “But I thought if you figured that out, you’d think I was weird, and you wouldn’t like me…”

Jean started to tear up. “Carter I would never! Believe it or not…I don’t really have any friends either. Or at least, people I hang out with outside of school. I’m nice to everyone, but they’re just acquaintances. I don’t really have friends over or anything. My free time is mainly spent hanging out with Lloyd and helping my mom around the house.”

“Wait, really?”

Jean nodded, wiping my face again with a smile. “Although now we have each other, right? I hope?”

“Wait, but y-you really don’t think I’m weird?”

The other boy just looked at me with the sweetest expression. “Carter, I think you’re perfect just the way you are.”

I thought my body couldn’t get any hotter. I hid my face in my hands.

“No, I’m not! I’m everything but that! I’m always freezing up and blushing and stuttering and junk! Everyone seems to see something about me that I can’t, and I always get made fun of because of it! Don’t you see it too?”

Jean laughed, brushing some of his brown locks out of his eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Carter. You seem perfectly fine to me. People are probably just jealous of you.”

“What there’s to be jealous about? If anything, people would see me as the kind of person to stray from becoming!”

The boy sighed. “Well, you’ve got very nice hair, at least to me. Your eyes are pretty too. Not to mention maybe people envy the fact that you have two parents and the fact that you get them all to yourself.”

“Wait, what do you mean?”

I watched as Jean wiped my tears off his neck. “Well, look at me, for example. I only live with my mom, and I’ve got a sibling too, so it’s not like I have her all to myself.”

“O-Oh.” I wanted to ask what happened to his dad, but the fact that Jean sounded so bummed as he said that made me reluctant to do so.

“And I mean, I don’t really know much about you, but people could be jealous of your talents and intelligence.”

I scoffed. “I’m sure that’s not it. ‘Specially not intelligence,” I mumbled.

“Eh? You don’t seem dumb to me!”

I sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe this change of scenery will magically make me smarter. I guess we’ll see once school starts.”

“Ah…wait a minute! We’re gonna be able to go to school together too, right? Wait, I never even asked how old you are!”

I chuckled. “I hope so, that’d be cool. I’m eleven.”

Jean’s face lit up. “So am I! That’s awesome! I can’t wait to ride the bus home with you and sit with you at lunch! We’re gonna have so much fun!” He exclaimed, hugging me once again.

I grinned. “Mhm! And once the day’s over, we can hang out at each other’s houses and eat snacks and play video games!”

“And maybe do our homework,” Jean added with a giggle.

If it weren’t for that freckled boy with his poofy brown hair, I don’t think I ever would’ve stopped crying. Even though I had nothing else to do in my room, I was content with enjoying each other’s company. It felt nice opening up to someone and not having them stare me down with judgmental looks. 

I really liked Jean.

I liked his voice and his scent.

I liked his laugh and when he held me.

I liked how we had so many things in common, despite how different our personalities were. 

He was so different from the other peers I grew used to over the years, and though I was scared, I liked it.

Sure, I had left behind the place where I originally grew up, but I don’t think that mattered anymore. Pittsburgh was full of bad memories and now, not only could I start over, but I already had someone by my side to make the experience a little less painful.

Jean clearly didn’t know the power his smile held, and the comfort his touch brought me. Sure, this entire experience was foreign to me, but it didn’t matter because he could make anywhere feel like home.