Road to Splatsville

Gone Fission Hydro Plant.

One of the many homes to Splatsville’s population of Salmonids, residing in Anarchy Bay. There’s a beautiful view of the city from within the larger landmass where most workers reside. Or at least it was beautiful. It’s only become a boring collection of lights in the distance to me.

The City of Chaos?

Give me a break. My life was more chaotic than anything in the Splatlands combined. Though, at least it was all more interesting than Inkopolis.

The sun had set about an hour ago, likely implying that the recent Salmon Run wave I witnessed was it for the night. I cheered on my aquatic companions as they successfully wiped out another group of Mr. Grizz’s workers.

I didn’t care much for many of Splatsville's dwellers, but I enjoyed spectating any wave with Grillers. If glowflies weren’t bad enough, I was always amused when people couldn’t figure out how to kill them. I’d ride inside and occasionally on top, and if I wasn't asleep, it was as entertaining as television.

At this point, it was the only thing that still interested me.

I wandered around the section of land in the middle of the

Hydro Plant, watching as the ink slowly dissolved and the Salmonids returned to the water. That is, aside from my Griller. I had yet to name it, but it was my primary form of transportation and my most comfortable place to sleep in.

While the boss was hard to differentiate from others, I knew which was mine. Just like the Smallfry that would hitch a ride underneath, that Griller had been by my side since I landed in Splatsville.

It had been my only friend for at least five years now.

I roamed the shores, contemplating how I wanted to spend my night, and then a blur of yellow caught my eye. I paused and turned around, immediately noticing one of Grizz’s workers by the shore, unconscious in a bright yellow slop suit.

I stared at them from afar.

It was rare for any Salmon Runner to stick around past their shift, and all were sent back to the helicopter anyway.

All except for them, I guess.

I examined the figure and quickly realized it was a dude from his features. I kicked him lightly but received no response.

He appeared to be breathing, not that finding a corpse would shock me. Serves these Inklings right for wiping out a race of fish for money and gear. I wasn’t any part salmon—not a Salmonid nor a Salmonling, but I at least saw them as family. While they accept death as part of their lives, I doubt mass murder is what they had in mind.

However, the more I looked at the guy, the more off he seemed. Even with his bulky work hat, I could tell his tentacles were different, and his ears weren’t pointy either. I noticed his ID clipped to his waistband and examined it.

He was barely an Overachiever.

I held more of a grudge towards the Profreshionals who had been at this immoral hobby for ages now. While he looked like he could be near my age, it's obvious he should stick to turf war.

As I squatted to return his ID to his belt, I felt the water hit my feet and retract back into the bay, only to return at ankle length.

Shit.

High tide.

I had grown used to their weird tidal patterns over here, but this dork was gonna be sucked into the bay in minutes.

I took a deep breath, and while most of me couldn’t be bothered if this guy drowned, I scooped him up off the shore and hastily made my way to high ground. By his job title, I knew he rarely partook in Salmon Runs and likely just wanted to fit in. Not that I knew many people, but his face wasn’t familiar either.

Not only that, I was able to pick up on the scents of workers who frequently returned after living here so long. As if I were a King Salmonid, I knew his scent wasn’t familiar in the slightest.

As the water grew higher, I moved to a ledge overlooking the egg basket and laid the boy beside me. My idle Griller seemed confused by the stray but didn’t approach him with violent intent.

I removed his helmet and at a closer look, realized he was an Octoling. And he didn’t look too bad either. Strong jawline, numerous freckles, many piercings, including some earrings that looked like pasta, and an odd scar that went through his right brow, which still seemed a bit fresh. But he didn’t have any wounds or bruises, so that was a plus. And though it was dark, I could still tell his complexion was a bit lighter than mine. Somehow, I felt like it blended well with his pink ink.

I continued sitting next to him, unsure what to do with myself. I didn’t have a nightly schedule or anything, but it felt wrong to just leave him here. He could only return to the city if a helicopter came, and it was too late in the night for that. I previously had plans to roam Splatsville in search of food or booze since it had been a few days since I’d eaten again…but silently sitting beside him...was nice too.

Occasionally, I would try and poke him awake, but there was never a response. He was out for good. The longer he stayed motionless, the more concerned I got. Could he have fallen into a coma? Did he happen to hit his head on something? If he was asleep, shoving him constantly likely would’ve awoken him, and when people faint, it usually only lasts for a few minutes.

He was still breathing, and his pulse was stable, but I couldn’t help but freak out. I had no cell phone to call 9-1-1, so all I could do was wait.

And wait.

And…wait.

I had been there with my Griller for about half an hour. The Octoling was away from the shore—my job was done. I did all I could. If random Salmonids found and attacked him, that wouldn’t be my problem.

And then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw him jerk awake.

Before we made eye contact, he was already hyperventilating, unable to focus on anything as if he returned to the state he was in that caused him to pass out in the first place.

“Hey, hey! It’s okay!” I grabbed his shoulder, curious about what previously freaked him out so bad. I tried not to smile, but I don’t think my presence helped a damn thing.

“W-What?! Where am I—who are you, what is—!” He looked around frantically and then held his head with a groan.

“You’re still at the Hydro Plant.” I snickered.

He brushed my arm off him as his breathing slowed. “Still?! Wait, where’s my crew?! Shit, shit, shit…” He muttered and tried to get to his feet, but quickly fell back down as the ink rushed to his head.

“Fuck…” He groaned.

“Hey, calm down. I found you passed out by the shore over there and carried you up here when the tide started rising.” I scratched the area around my collar. “Your crew left ages ago. Via helicopter.”

The boy took a deep breath and pondered for a bit, but his eyes slowly drifted to the Griller behind me, and he shrieked again.

“Holy shit!” He screamed, scanning the area around him for a weapon, only freaking out more when he was left unarmed.

I grabbed his shoulders again. “Stop, it’s fine! Breathe! That one’s mine. You’re safe, don’t worry.”

“That’s your Griller?!”

I shrugged, removing my hands. “Yeah.”

“Who the fuck are you then?! Do you work for Grizz? What are you doing out here when no waves are in session? How’d you get here?! Did you pass out too?” He scanned me. “Or…are you half-Inkling, half…”

“No, I’m full Inkling.” I leaned back, staring at Splatsville’s lights from across the water. “I live here. Kinda. Name’s Radian.”

He rubbed his face. “I—what?”

I smirked at his confusion, slightly memorized by how his grey eyes reflected the moonlight. “How did you get here?”

His ears turned pink. “I uh…” He quickly avoided my gaze while fiddling with his hands. “I think I had a panic attack,” He muttered.

“Oh. Oh shit.”

“I-I’ve never had one before, I don’t think. I don’t know. It was just…dark, and there were Grillers and after the Grillers the Cohozuna came, and I just couldn’t…handle it.” He hugged himself, completely embarrassed. It was cute, but I felt bad that his teammates abandoned him.

I was present for the Grillers since riding inside mine while the altercation occurred, but I hid when the Cohozuna appeared. Out of all the Salmonids, I know the king still doesn’t approve of me. Many Goldies adore me, and one even gifted me a golden egg charm, which I’ve yet to stop wearing around my neck, but I don’t think the king would hesitate to kill me. I think I’ve just lucked out by obtaining the same scent as the Salmonids after being here for so long.

“I felt like I was gonna die. Despite all the shit I’ve been through, I’ve never felt so terrified,” He continued talking to himself. “I could barely breathe.” He admitted softly, though I could still hear his voice crack.

The Octoling took a deep breath and collected himself, finally looking at me afterward, smiling awkwardly. “I’m really awful at Salmon Run,” He began.

I raised an eyebrow, smirking, and he frantically waved his hands.

“Well, back in Inkopolis I actually reached Profreshional 999, but after moving here, I had to start from the beginning again.” He fiddled with his earrings. “I thought I got over my fear, and then I encountered new bosses and...well, the king. And then I lost my shit.”

I snickered. “Wow.”

“I usually join my friends! But I don’t know…” He muttered. “I was just having a day. I wanted to get my super bonus, but I also wanted to prove I could do this shit without them. I wanted a break and honestly to be alone for a bit. And tada!” He looked around. “Here I am. Alone. Again.”

“Not completely. I’m here.”

He smiled a little, but I could still tell something was wrong. He was easy to read, but I hesitated to say anything, despite him appearing on the verge of tears. Even those who never indulged in Salmon Run knew you needed an experienced crew. No one can truly do this alone, especially if you scare easily. Still, he’s the first worker I’ve witnessed pass out as a result.

“Who are you again?”

“Radian.”

He fiddled with his slopsuit. “Like the math term?”

“Uh…yeah.”

His eyes lit up. “Are you good at math?”

“No, actually.” I snickered. “I’m a high school dropout,” I said proudly, smirking.

“O-Oh.”

“But given your response, I’m assuming you’re a nerdy STEM kid.”

The Octoling rolled his eyes, rubbing the back of his neck. His reaction only increased my grin.

“Though, many people are into well-educated men.” I chuckled.

He pulled on the end of one of his tentacles, flashing half a smile. “I-I suppose. Yeah. Yes. Anyway,” He cleared his throat. “I have a shit memory, so I might forget again, but it’s nice to meet you…Radian.”

“And you are?”

“Oh.” He paused. “I’m Raviyoli. With a Y.”

“Did you just make that up on the spot?”

“What? N-No—shut up. Most people just call me Ravi for short. Or Rav. I’ve been trying out Viyo too,” He pondered, seemingly counting his potential nicknames on his fingers.

I laughed. “Your parents named you Raviyoli? Are you half Black, half Italian?” I gestured towards his earrings, but he quickly lost his glow.

It was clear he was having a bad day. It was rare for me to question people's well-being because frankly, I didn’t care, but he’s got too cute of a face to be frowning all the time.

“No, er, I don’t know, really.” He began, trying to sound hopeful, but it wasn’t convincing. “Raviyoli’s technically a nickname too. My brain’s kinda fucked up, and I don’t…remember my original one.” He paused. “I don’t know my surname either, I guess, but where the hell else are you gonna find another ‘Raviyoli’?”

“Goddamn, that’s one hell of a sob story. What the fuck happened to you?”

He forced a laugh. “Me? I should be asking you that! You live with savage fish, apparently.”

I shrugged. “Yeah, but I like it. By the looks of it, you don’t like being braindead. Did you hit your head too hard or something?” I laughed, looking back at his hardhat that sat behind us. “Maybe you should wear that all the time.”

Ravi scrunched up his nose and looked away from me again.

“What? Fashion nowadays is fuckin’ insane. People wear football helmets with flip-flops, and no one asks any questions. I’m sure you could get away with it.”

“Whatever.” The Octoling muttered, fiddling with the belt on his suit. He flashed me a side glance, and I smiled a bit.

“What?”

He shrugged. “Nothing. Never mind.”

I looked him over as he returned his gaze to his suit. The longer I stared at him, the more uneasy I felt. I opened my mouth, planning to apologize but my gut wouldn’t let me. I wasn’t really sure what to do.

“Uh, how old are you?”

“Twenty-two.”

“When did you move to Splatsville?”

He shrugged. “A few weeks ago, actually.”

“Damn, no wonder I don’t recognize your scent.”

He glanced over. “That sure is a normal sentence. You sure you’re not half Salmonid?”

“You sure you’re not half Italian?” I shot back, grinning. “I got a thing for hybrids, actually.”

Ravi quickly stood up, flustered. “Alright, yep. I’m going home now.”

I snickered. “How? You can’t swim.”

He looked down at me but flinched as I towered over him after getting to my feet. I wasn’t much taller than him, but there was still a decent gap.

“Well, how do you get anywhere? You’re surrounded by water here.”

I shrugged. “I usually ride my Griller, though I can last in water for about five minutes before dissolving. I forced myself to build up a tolerance.”

“Geez, how long have you been here for?”

“A few years, I think. I kinda lost count.”

It was clear Ravi wanted me to elaborate. Why was I here in the first place? Where was I before? But I preferred to be the one asking questions. When I thought about myself too much, I’d get sick to my stomach.

At this point, I’ve gaslit myself into believing this is normal—being separated from civilization. While I frequently returned to the city, I had no friends. When I wasn't battling or getting shitfaced in back-alley bars, the most I socialized was through sleeping with strangers.

Most would find it gross, but it was my primary hobby. At least once a week, I'd find a partner based on my mood and always prioritized safety and sobriety. Hence, having a full-on conversation with Ravi felt weird.

I never dilly-dallied—I always spoke up and got what I wanted. But I wasn’t sticking around because I saw him as a potential one-night stand, not to say I'd decline friends with benefits. Alas, I’d have to see more than his face since there’s nothing attractive about the slop suits.

For once, I wasn’t sure what to do.

Common interactions felt unnatural to me. That’s how jacked up my everyday life was.

“Anyway,” I went on, cutting Ravi off as he readied another question for me. “The tide's already started going down. There’s a strip of land only accessible during low tide, so we can use that path to get to the city.”

“That seems like one hell of a walk…in the dark too.”

I followed my Griller to the shore and climbed to the top. “Yeah, that’s why we’re not walking. C’mon.”

Ravi’s eyes widened, and he didn’t move from his spot. “There’s no way hell I’m getting on top of that! What if it kills me!?”

“Ravi, stop being a pussy and get over here. You wanna go home, right?”

He rolled his eyes, and I helped him up. Not only were Griller’s not intended to be ridden upon but there wasn’t much space up here for two people either. Luckily, Ravi was small, which made it slightly more bearable.

As we started moving, especially once the lid was the only part of the Griller that wasn’t submerged, I could tell he was anxious. He was holding on for dear life, though there wasn’t much to hold onto anyway. His reaction made sense, but I was worried he’d have another panic attack, lose balance, and drown, which is the one thing I was trying to prevent this entire time.

I could tell he was trying to be considerate and respect my personal space, but I didn’t necessarily mind the contact. Nonetheless, there wasn’t enough space to be considerate anyway.

I placed my arm around the Octoling and slid him closer to me, which made him tense up more, but at least he stopped trembling like a toddler.

“S-So um,” He cleared his throat. “Do you do this every day? As in, travel to the city like this?”

“Yep. I’m used to it. I usually travel to Splatsville for food, sex, and booze.” I snickered.

He attempted to give me a weird look, but he wasn’t in a comfortable position to do so.

I laughed. “How do you spend most of your time? I doubt you partake in Salmon Run all that much.”

He huffed. “Erm, yeah. I like playing Splat Zones.”

“That it?”

He shrugged. “Kinda.”

“Yeah, right. So, all you do is play Splat Zones and freak out about Salmon Run. What do you main?”

I heard him sigh. “Dapple Dualies.”

I laughed. “Dualie main, eh? Dualie mains are fuckin’ gremlins. The good kind, that is.” I flashed him a smile. “No one who rolls around with two guns lives under a rock and only has two hobbies. Charger mains, on the other hand…”

“Leave me alone. The hell do you main?” He snapped.

“Eh, I don’t battle much, but usually Range Blaster.”

“Well, I bet you’re really fucking annoying in Tower Control.”

“Chill. I could use Clash.”

Ravi tensed up a bit more.

“I’m not gonna let you fall into the water, calm down.”

“It’s not that,” The Octoling mumbled. “I just…”

I leaned back to see his face. “Just what?”

He pulled on his locs, immediately obstructing my view. “Can you just…not make fun of me, please? You live with Salmonids. You have no right teasing me about, well, anything.”

“Hey, chill. You know I’m joking. If I was truly hating, you’d be able to tell.”

He chuckled coldly. “And what the hell is that based on? I don’t know even know you.”

I shrugged, still smiling. “Well, for clarification, just cuz I pick fun doesn’t mean I don’t like whatever trait it is. Like, you’re a Dualie main, yeah. To me, you guys are really fucking fast and annoying and seem feral, but every weapon class has its perks, and I like that about you guys. I don’t know you either, and you currently come off as secretive and kind of plain, no offense.”

He rolled his eyes.

“But, with a face like that and a name like Raviyoli, I’m sure you’re interesting as hell and quite fun to be around. Maybe I just caught you on an off day.”

He sighed. “Maybe.”

I finally swallowed my pride, wrapping my arm back around him when we went over a bump. “If I made you sad, I’m sorry.”

“I’m not sad,” Ravi said softly.

“Then what are you?”

“Tired.” He sighed. “Just really tired.”

“Of anything specific?”

“…No.”

“You hesitated.”

“And so what if I did?” He elbowed me. “I’m not gonna give my entire life story to a stranger.”

“Suit yourself.”

He laughed. “You say as if I know anything other than you living with fish and being a high school dropout.”

“Well, fuck. Yeah, I guess you’ve got a point.” I laughed along with him.

We sat in silence for a bit longer as the city lights grew closer. The breeze felt nice, and oddly enough I felt comfortable sharing my night with him. I often preferred to be alone, but…he was okay. Nice face and scent—I still wasn’t sure about his overall personality, but he didn’t seem too weird. He just appeared to be having an off day, but knowing me, I doubt I was improving it. Then again, he could’ve drowned, so I guess I did something right.

It took about twenty minutes to get to Splatsville, but I stopped my Griller higher on the shore so Ravi wouldn’t freak out about the water level. He grabbed his helmet and clumsily climbed down as I laid on my Griller, kicking my legs.

From his glossy expression, I could tell he had taken a short nap against my shoulder. My entire left side smelled like him, and it stood out since I was used to the smell of salt water and sweat.

I leaned on my hands, grinning at the boy below me. “Want me to walk you home?”

“Huh?” He rubbed his eyes. “No, it’s cool. This is good. Thanks for taking me this far. And saving my life,” He chuckled.

“My pleasure. Not that I’d want you to endanger yourself or anything, but I’d be flattered if you were to come and stop by sometime. Maybe when you’re feeling better. And you don’t have to worry about transportation,” I teased and patted the lid of my Griller.

He cracked a smile. “I can’t lie—I never wanna ride on that thing ever again.”

“Eh, suit yourself.”

Ravi started walking towards a staircase leading to the pier but turned back around.

“Do you…really live there? At the Hydro Plant?”

“Yeah.”

“How do you do, like, anything? What do you do when it rains or when there are glowflies or something?” He asked frantically.

“I make it work.”

“So, you really don’t have an apartment or roommate or anything here in Splatsville?”

I kept nodding, and he kept asking questions, so I continued. Most things that seem bizarre to outsiders, I’m used to. And despite the sleep in his eyes, he kept running his mouth. It’s like he didn’t want to leave, despite how clear he made it before. It made me wonder if his social circle was as small as mine.

“Why don’t you have shoes?”

“I have shoes—I just don’t wear them since I’m around water all the time, and while I’m weird, I’m not the type of weird that’s into wet socks. Or even wearing shoes without socks. Hate that shit,” I muttered.

The Octoling laughed. “Then, where do you keep them? Like, your shoes and other outfits. You do have other outfits, right? And if not, where do you shower?” He counted on his fingers. “Do you just have a bar of soap and randomly wash naked in the bay?”

“Fuckin hell, you’re nosy.” I cackled. “What? You wanna come watch? I’d happily send you an invitation.”

“W-What?! No, no that’s not what I meant!”

“Eh, your loss.” I scooted to the edge of my Griller. “I’m tall in stature, but I promise you I got some more significant inches elsewhere.”

Ravi covered his pink-tinted face. “Radian, holy shit!”

“Oh yeah.” I laughed. “News flash, I’m a fucking pervert. Like one hundred percent.”

“What?!” He put his arms down. “People don’t just say that outright! That’s not a pleasant adjective.”

“Well, I wear the label with pride.” I crossed my legs. “Pervert, whore, slut—I honestly don’t care. You can call me anything, and I’ll just laugh in your face. Derogatory or not—I’m not fazed. Hell, if I had a jacket, I’d definitely wear a pin with ‘fag’ written across it!”

“No you wouldn’t!” Ravi exclaimed.

“Hey, it’s not all bad. Then I might attract other fags. Of course, for them, that’s a term of endearment.”

“Wow, you are…a lot.” The Octoling was visibly flustered, but he was grinning ear to non-pointy ear.

“Well, I get that a lot,” I stated blankly. “Just kidding, you’re the first person I’ve talked to like this in...well, years.” I shrugged.

“What?!”

“What? It’s not like my conversations with Salmonids are two-way.”

“Well, yeah, but…”

“Hey, I thought you wanted to leave,” I smirked. “Why are you stalling so much?”

“I—uh, sorry. I mean, I’m not stalling!” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess I was just wondering…aren’t you lonely?”

I held my tongue.

Technically, no. I hated being around other Inklings and Octolings, usually because they would badger me with questions or shoot me disgusted looks. But sometimes, the answer was yes. Despite how others treated me most of the time, it would be nice to be close to someone without ulterior motives.

But in this case, I know I’d feel lonely once he left.

“Not right now, no. And not usually either.” I smiled. “I mean, I would beg you to stay, but I know you’re tired.”

He laughed awkwardly. “Aren’t you?”

“No, I’m nocturnal. Your 10 p.m. is my 10 a.m., for the most part.”

“That’s weird as hell. Have you always been like that? Don’t you miss the sun?”

I sighed. “Ravi, go home.”

“What?”

“You’re already stunning, but you need your beauty sleep. And to get out of that slop suit. It’s not flattering on anyone, not even you.”

The confusion on his face grew as he fidgeted with his suit. “I feel like I’m supposed to say thank you, but I’m honestly just weirded out.”

“I’m sorry, you’re fun to mess with.” I moved my tentacles out of my face. “But, in all honestly, you’ll probably never see me again. No one ever does. Therefore, no need to keep throwing questions at my face.”

“That…also sounds weird.”

I held in my laughter, amused at how my previous flirts went right over his head.

“I’m just a figment of your imagination,” I grinned. “You’re having a fever dream, except you’re still passed out at the Hydro Plant.” I waved my arms around. “Ooo, the water’s rising! You better wake up!”

“Stop!” He laughed, yanking off his lanyard and chucking it at my face. “Don’t freak me out! I’m already uneasy enough as is!”

I stared at his Grizz Co. ID photo. “I’m keeping this.”

“What? No, I need that!”

“For what? To play Salmon Run? This shit ain’t for you, Pretty Boy.”

He scrunched up his nose. “Radian!”

“When you wake up tomorrow and can’t find your ID, you’ll know you’re alive. Not a fever dream or nothin’. I’m sure you can easily get a new one.”

He sighed, smiling. “I guess.”

“Anyway, I just hope you have a good rest of your night. I’m glad I found you when I did, and I’m especially happy you’re alive.” My Griller returned to the water, and I glanced back at the Octoling as I wrapped his lanyard around my wrist. “It was nice meeting you.”

He awkwardly held his helmet. “Oh. Yeah, you too. Thank you.” He gave me a little wave, and I focused on the water again. I knew if I looked back at him, I’d return to the shore.

I still knew next to nothing about him, but with a face like that, I knew he was the bubbly type. He just seemed drained, and something told me that Salmon Run wasn’t the cause.