Sugar and Spice

This was it. This had to be it.

Alexis picked up her pastel blue, overstuffed rucksack, slung the overly heavy abomination over her shoulder without so much as a grunt, and headed out the door of her student apartment.

It had to be different this time.

Alexis Evria, aspiring Creative Writing major and Fillian of no talents other than her ability to live through her monotonous routine without complaint, made her way across the field flattened by the footsteps of a million students. It was a short walk from student housing to the campus, and one she made daily even in the harshest downpours. Thankfully the sky was forgiving today, the sun casting its warm light over the field to give students some respite.

Two years ago, Alexis would have taken it as a good sign. Today she just sighed and changed to her prescription sunglasses.

What did she have first, again? Her grey eyes narrowed in concentration as she pushed away the last vestiges of sleep. Science Fiction and Society, was it? That required some semblance of brain power. What sadist scheduled it for 9 in the morning?

Alexis made it to the large, open campus of Haldwell University on autopilot as she struggled to remember the rest of the day's timetable. Loud cheers and chatter made her ears prick up enough to knock her out of her stupor.

Stalls lined the path leading to the tall building, with second and third years shouting directions while others waved leaflets in the faces of bemused freshers. Alexis smiled as she saw a herd of first years huddled around a useless signpost, heads whipping from the post to their maps as they tried to make sense of their whereabouts. Standing a little straighter and trying to push that irritating fear down her gut, she approached the students. They were more scared of her than she was of them, after all. She took comfort in that.

“Hi, guys!” she chirped, finding that her cheeriness was coming naturally to her today. Must be the lively atmosphere. “What are you trying to find?”

Her heart stopped at the thousands of eyes turning on her. Oh Vacerus, they were all taller than her! That wasn't fair! After the initial panic she noticed those thousand eyes locked on her with hope and a panic of their own. She latched onto that.

“We've got an introductory lecture in the White Hall,” squeaked a first year. “But none of us know where it is.”

White Hall, yes! Alexis knew this! She internally pumped her fist and instructed the students. The relief and thanks in their eyes filled her with joy. As she watched them go, shepherded by her directions, she found herself thinking that maybe, just maybe, today would be different.

She should have known even thinking such a thing would automatically ruin the day. That was how these things worked.

Her hope quickly disappeared when she entered the lecture theatre to find clusters of friends already sitting together, leaving only a few lonely seats unoccupied. Those were reserved for the friendless and the studious. She knew which group she fell under.

No. Of course today wasn't any different.

She took her seat in the lecture theatre in the middle row, and no one she knew sat beside her. She listened to the excitable conversations of those with established friend groups, trying in vain to push the jealousy out of her mind. A few of them were actually discussing the upcoming lecture, but most were recounting the events of their summer break or the latest party Alexis happened to miss. Who needed parties anyway? Certainly not her. That was something you did with friends.

Alexis slammed her notebook down with a little more force than necessary, noticing someone jump in the corner of her eye. She quickly turned to them, issuing an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that.”

The girl waved a hand dismissively. “Don't worry about it. First day back and we have a 9am lecture? I get it.”

Alexis's smile became more genuine. “Yes, exactly. It's way too early for this.”

“I know right? I could've slept in today. Imagine. That would've been so nice.”

Alexis almost chuckled. She appreciated that if there was one thing that united all students, it was their hatred of 9am classes. It made for good common ground, and with that came a ready-made conversation topic, something she was always grateful for. “Same,” she replied. “You'd think after two years we'd be used to it.”

The girl smiled, but before she could say anything someone sat beside her and she turned to them. “Kyra, hi!” she said, the familiarity making Alexis's skin crawl. Of course, of course this girl already knew someone.

They were in their third year, after all.

Alexis took that as her cue and tuned out of the conversation, and sure enough, the girl did not address her again. She fiddled with the edge of her notebook, folding the paper and twisting it to distract her from her disappointment. Never get your hopes up, not in your third year, she thought. If you haven't made friends by now, you never will.

By the time the professor showed up, she had creased and twisted all the corners of the page. She smoothed it out hurriedly, letting out a sigh of relief as the lecturer turned on the board and ended the conversations around her.

Alexis put pen to paper and attempted to absorb herself in her lecturer’s words. If her last year was doomed to fail socially, then she had to excel academically. She had to make herself proud somehow. This entire university experience would not be a waste.

Though as the professor’s words inevitably faded to background noise, she found herself thinking it just might be.

At some point, likely half an hour into their lecture, though Alexis was not too sure as she had zoned out, the professor had instructed everyone to get into pairs and discuss something on the screen. Alexis blinked and adjusted her pink-rimmed glasses in an attempt to wake herself up.

Wait, pair discussion? Crap!

She bit her lip, waiting for the floor to swallow her. Her heart had already dropped down there. Not discussion, not in a lecture! They’re breaking the rules! She slowly turned her head to the girl she had spoken to previously, nervously brushing her blue hair from her face, only to find that the girl had already engaged in discussion with her friend, as to be expected. Alexis couldn’t interrupt them. She didn’t have to bother turning to check her other neighbour, as she could hear them discussing the topic with their own partner.

Yep. Just as expected.

I can’t ask them to work in threes. She didn’t bother explaining why to herself. She found herself shrinking in her chair, blue hair falling over her face to hide the heat of shame. Please be over soon, please be over soon, please. She drilled her pen into the paper, unaware of the black splodges she was leaving on the page.

Who cares if no one wants to talk to me? It’s fine. I don’t have anything to say about this topic anyway. I don’t even know what it’s about. I don’t know anyth—

“Alright, everyone, time’s up! Would anyone like to share their discussion?”

Relief flooded Alexis again, but it did little to cool her burning body. She was thankful that lecturers didn’t pick on students to answer, so she was free of that embarrassment. She’d been through enough anyway. Goodness, it was only 9:30am (probably) and she already wanted to go home and hide under the covers.

As the lecture wore on, Alexis studied the numerous black, inky holes on her notebook page.

Something needed to change. She couldn’t go on like this, not in her third year. She was coasting through life, sharing her thoughts only with herself, and her grades with her parents. It was sad, she knew, and that thought was a constant in her mind that she could not shake. Some days it was easy to manage, like during the summer holidays when there weren’t other students to serve as a reminder of her loneliness, but today it was a gut punch.

She had Professional Writing later today, at least. She had been looking forward to that module ever since she first took the course in her first year. In this module she would write her own fleshed out story for a grade, under the guidance of her peers. If nothing else, she enjoyed the practical aspects of her course.

Alexis floated through the rest of the day before that class, and soon enough she had taken her seat in the small room known simply as Room 1B, taking comfort in the familiar, musty scent of books. Bookshelves lined the room, giving it the appearance of both a place of learning and a makeshift library. Alexis briefly entertained the idea of flicking through one before the rest of the students piled in, killing that thought. They, thankfully, sat in their own spaces, with only a few people sitting together. Good. That meant most of these people didn’t know each other.

Pink!

Something rosy flashed in the corner of Alexis’s eye. She zeroed in on the hair of an approaching Fillian girl, watching it flow behind her as she walked. It was like a river trailing down to her behind, pink blending into yellow at the tips, while her fringe was long enough to almost cover her teal blue eye. It stood out against the soft whiteness of her fur, and looked even more peculiar when coupled with her black leather jacket. The girl took a seat at Alexis’s table, not sparing her so much as a glance. Which was good, because that way she would not notice Alexis staring at her.

Wait.

Wait.

She was on Alexis’s table. On Alexis’ table!

Oh, crap, look away, look away!

Alexis hurriedly focused on her notebook, trying not to make her faux pas obvious. Luckily the pink-haired girl paid her no attention as she took out her own book and folded her arms expectantly. Her brow was furrowed in apparent distaste. Did the girl not want to sit here after all? Her moody expression and leather jacket reminded Alexis of a punk. Or were they called delinquents?

Should I say hi? Alexis folded another crease in her notebook. On the one hand, this girl looked ready to bite her face off if she even caught Alexis looking in her direction. On the other hand, the girl had chosen to sit at Alexis’s table. That had to count for something. And maybe if she introduced herself, they could strike up a conversation. And a conversation might lead to…

No, don’t be silly. Just cos she might say hi back doesn’t mean she’d want to be your friend. Who would?

Alexis blinked as she realised something very important. The girl’s teal eyes were locked on Alexis's own.

She was looking at her.

Oh no. That meant she must have caught Alexis staring, which meant she was going to get yelled at, which meant her shot at befriending this girl was gone.

The girl’s gaze suddenly flicked back to her own notebook, and Alexis barely bit back a sigh of relief. Good, that meant she wasn’t mad. With that brief jolt the eye contact had given her, Alexis decided to act.

Now or never, girl. You can do this! “Hi,” she said.

The white-furred girl peered at her through narrowed eyes. “Hello,” she replied, her tone clipped. Her arms were crossed, and the way her fingers gripped the black leather on her arm ever so slightly told Alexis she didn’t want to have a conversation.

There wasn’t a lot Alexis was proud of, but she did admit she had a knack for reading people. It was the easiest way to tell when to leave the room; can’t get caught in the crossfire of an argument before the argument’s even started. So, when she saw this girl’s closed off posture and felt the air chill around her, she knew she shouldn’t poke the bear.

She’ll probably yell at me if I try again. Resigned to her solitude once more, Alexis unfolded the crease she’d made in her notebook as she waited yet again for the professor to show up. She chanced a glance at her neighbour’s notebook, and her eyebrows shot up. The book was pastel pink, an even brighter shade than the punk girl’s hair.

Before she could think any further about it, their professor finally entered the classroom with a cheery, “Afternoon, all!” Alexis looked up, then her eyes glazed over. Average professor, average semester. No point focusing on this.

After the typical introduction and terrible icebreaker—They do this on purpose, just to torment us—the professor got down to business. Something about workshops, another thing about writing exercises each week, and then—

“For this module, you will be writing your own short story...”

Yes!

“...And will be partnered up to critique each other’s work.”

No!

What did Alexis do to earn the dragon Gods’ ire? Today was just a conga line of torture. Some first day back! Partnered up, seriously? At least with different people workshopping you each week you wouldn’t have to face them again when you showed no improvements. With your partner, you’re stuck, and they get to witness your failings again and again.

The collective contained groans of her classmates suggested similar thoughts. At least Alexis wasn’t alone in her reluctance. She glanced at the punk girl, who looked at the professor with the same indifference as always. Did she even care that she’d be stuck for a semester with someone who didn’t know how commas worked?

Oi, oi, Lexi, calm down. No projecting, projecting bad! Alexis’s ears flattened against her head. Such bitter thoughts, they could give dark chocolate a run for its money.

Ooh, that was a bad one.

Still, when did she become so… dark chocolatey? If her high school friends could see her now, they’d be disappointed for sure.

“You guys have ten minutes to partner up, and then we’ll get to the fun stuff!” The professor said, clapping her hands. Hm, she seemed much too cheerful for someone who was sending students to their own personal hell.

Alexis watched as students turned to each other, those who knew each other already pairing up, leaving many floundering at their tables. One by one the lost sheep found each other, potential partners disappearing before Alexis’s eyes. She willed her legs to move and stood up, but as she drifted from table to table, eyes turned away before she could lock on any of them. Anyone who did not know each other was content to pair up with those already at their tables.

Soon, everyone was paired up. Everyone except for, of course...

Alexis’s eyes fell on narrowed teal ones. The ones who pierced her with just a look. The ones she would see every week for an entire semester.

Oh, balls.