Sugar and Spice

Alexis sat in her seat in Room 1B, shuffling her papers on the table. A week had passed since the first feedback lesson, but she was still apprehensive about showing her work to Mitty. Sure, her critique had been helpful once Alexis could read it without crying, but she wasn't in the mood to have her work torn apart again.

Come on, Lexi, you're majoring in this! You need to grow a thicker skin! She sighed. That was a thought she knew she'd roll over in her head later today. For now though, she needed to deal with the coming lesson.

Five minutes had passed since she sat down, and most of the class had streamed in. A lot of them were casually chatting with those at their tables. Seating arrangements had remained the same since the first week, and those who had sat in silence before were now conversing with their partners. That was rather quick for just two weeks, Alexis thought. Either they really got along over their projects, or they had gotten to know each other outside class hours. Alexis knew which was more likely.

If I'd been paired up with someone friendlier, would we be like that too?

She flashed back to the empty messaging app.

No, she was supposed to be the friendly one. If she wanted something out of this arrangement with Mitty, she'd have to be the one to push it.

Did she, though?

The minutes continued to tick by, the empty seat on Alexis's table radiating a chill she couldn't ignore. Was Mitty really going to leave her alone in a seminar built on class discussion? The pit in her stomach grew with each minute her partner didn't show. She thought she'd gotten over this. She thought she didn't need to get over this now that Mitty was there. And she couldn't even ask Mitty what was up, because she'd overlooked something so simple, something that surely everyone else in the class had done already.

To be fair, Mitty hadn't asked her either.

Alexis wanted to slam her head on the table. Enough blame shifting! Take control, don't push it on Mitty.

But what if Mitty doesn't want to do it? Oh boy, now she was arguing with herself.

It'll be for class reasons, she can't say no to that!

But do you really want to be so easy for her to reach?

She settled for resting her head on the table, letting out a sigh. She really needed to get out of her own head sometimes. With her eyes averted, she relied on her hearing to signal the start of the lesson. She heard a chair being pulled out near her, and she looked up.

There was Mitty, her long pink hair frazzled and her face flushed. She was panting as she took a seat, her eyes fixed on the table.

Yes! She's here! Alexis smiled before she could stop herself. I won't be alone for the feedback session!

She gave Mitty time to collect herself. She looked like she'd been running to get to class on time. Alexis watched the steady rise and fall of Mitty's shoulders as she got her breath back.

Then those teal eyes turned to glare at her. "What?"

Alexis jumped. "N-nothing!"

Mitty blinked, looked at her for a few moments, then sighed, turning away.

Alexis watched as Mitty got out her pink notebook and her papers. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yes," Mitty replied, running her hands through her hair in an attempt to smooth it out. "Just woke up late."

"Oh." Alexis' smile came again, small, but easy. "I get that. I have my alarm on super loud nowadays 'cos one time I slept through it and missed like, three lectures."

Mitty quirked an eyebrow. "Three?"

"Yeah, it was bad." Alexis rubbed her head sheepishly. "I went to bed late and forgot to check how loud my alarm was, so it was my own fault, really."

Mitty looked over her work, a quiet "hmm" punctuating her acknowledgement. She continued to fiddle with her papers, and Alexis thought the conversation was over. Then, "I should count myself lucky I didn't miss three lectures."

Alexis' smile widened. Were they actually chatting, like normal people? Should she be witty? No, there was no telling how Mitty would react to that.

Before she could think of a way to continue the conversation, Mitty gestured to Alexis' papers. Alexis tried to ignore her dread as they exchanged assignments. Still, the worst was yet to come. Once Alexis got back those papers, she knew she would be spending an hour with tissues stuck to her face. For now, she just had to deal with giving Mitty some actual feedback.

The second chapter of her dystopian story was much the same as the first, probably because Alexis hadn't actually said anything that might help her last week. Still, it was good.

Just good? she thought. She continued reading, but beyond Mitty's good technical prose and general competence, nothing jumped out at her. Just good.

Alexis prodded the page with her pen. What should she say? She had to be honest this time. She genuinely wanted Mitty to improve, but... what was there to improve? It could just be Alexis's own bias against the genre that stopped her from enjoying it too much. Still, she had to say something. A good critic saw past the boundaries of the genre. Perhaps she could comment on nitpicks first, then work her way from there. Worth a shot.

By the time the session ended, Alexis had very little feedback written on the pages. She knew Mitty wouldn't appreciate that. She felt what she had written was at least something her partner could think about, and she couldn't resist drawing little hearts next to her points to soften the blow. Mitty hadn't said anything against that last time. She handed the paper back to Mitty and held in a sigh at the swathes of red ink on hers. She would look at it in depth later in the privacy of her home. No one could see her cry there.

"That's it?" said Mitty after a cursory glance at her work.

"Yes." Alexis looked down. "I'm sorry, I'm not very good at critiquing."

Mitty looked like she was expecting more, and when Alexis didn't say anything else, she rubbed her temples. "Fine."

Alexis got the feeling she'd just let her partner down. Again. What were the magic words she could say that would make Mitty happy? She didn't have time to ponder them, as the rest of the seminar was due to start, and she tried to focus her attention on that. She was mostly successful; she only glanced at Mitty every fifteen minutes or so. By the time class ended, Mitty was almost out of her thoughts. Almost.

Alexis wanted to go home and bury herself in her laptop, but she remembered her earlier idea. She had something to do first. She took a deep breath to steel herself. She won't want to do it, she thought. Oh gosh, what am I doing? She doesn't like me. She won't like this, she— 

Mitty got up from her chair and Alexis shot out of hers so fast her knee hit the table. A stabbing pain shot through her leg and she cried out, stumbling out of her chair.

"Are you okay?" Mitty asked, her eyes wide. Great, the first expression she had shown that wasn't indifference or frustration, and it only took Alexis destroying her knee to see it.

"F-fine!" she squeaked, rubbing her throbbing knee. "Just, um, got up too fast." Her eyes watered from the pain.

Mitty didn't look convinced, but slung her bag over her shoulder. "If you say so..." She turned to leave.

"Wait!"

Alexis winced at the stares she attracted from those who had not yet left the room. The last thing she needed was an audience. She cleared her throat. "Um, can we talk outside for a sec?"

Mitty shrugged and left the room. Alexis could have done with a more encouraging affirmative, but at least Mitty complied. Alexis waited for everyone to leave before she put on her backpack and followed, finding her partner leaning against the wall nearby. There were perfectly good chairs in the hallway, and yet Mitty chose to lean on the wall? Probably a punk thing.

"So?" Mitty raised her eyebrow. "What do you want?"

Alexis tried to smile, but Mitty's indifference wasn't helping. She adjusted her pink glasses, swallowed, searched for the words. Come on, Lexi, you can do this! This is a totally normal thing that uni students do, and everyone else, for that matter! She opened her mouth; her tongue was heavy. Come on, please?

"Alexis?" Mitty prompted.

She's waiting for you, just do it! Alexis looked away. Mitty clearly didn't want to even be near her, why would she want to keep in contact? This was a mistake. They could do the assignment just fine without this. But...

"Look, I'm busy. If this isn't important, it can wait 'til next w—"

"We should exchange numbers!"

Mitty blinked.

Alexis blinked.

 The words had tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them. She looked down, clutching the straps of her backpack. The silence was enough to swallow her. Of course this wasn't a good idea. Time to add another reason for tonight's crying session.

"Okay."

Alexis's head shot up. She blinked again. "Okay?"

"Yeah." Mitty pulled her phone out from her leather jacket pocket, and it gave Alexis pause. The phone case was bright pink, like her notebook, with cute patterns swirling around it. Mitty seemed to notice Alexis staring and she glared at her, pressing her phone to her chest. "What?"

"Nothing." Alexis recoiled for a second, but collected herself quickly. She needed to stop being so scared of her partner, especially since they were about to exchange numbers. To that end, she said, "I like your phone case. It's cute."

Mitty stared at her. Alexis couldn't say for sure, but it felt like her eyes looked even more fierce. She grunted, pulling up her phone. "What's your number?"

No thanks for the compliment, if Mitty even saw it as one, but she didn't scream at her, either. It wasn't progress, but Alexis would take it. It was then she noticed that Mitty's fingers were tracing the patterns on her phone case.

Now, Alexis wasn't good at many things. But she was good at reading people.

She smiled naturally this time. She pulled out her own phone with its shiny pastel cover, and noticed Mitty glance at it for just a second. They exchanged numbers and goodbyes, and went on their way. Alexis walked with a spring in her step, Mitty's reaction to her compliment playing in her head. It looked like they’d found something in common.

Alexis thanked the stars that phones were the primary method of communication here. After all, you couldn’t decorate crystal balls with cute cases that would make grumpy punks like you.

It only occurred to her as she unlocked her door that Mitty had not even asked why they should exchange numbers.

***

Alexis sat in her dim studio apartment, illuminated by the white light of her laptop. She bobbed her head to the upbeat pop music playing on her headphones—not too loud, her mother always said her brain would bleed out of her burst eardrums—and opened up her story in progress. She pursed her lips as she scanned through it, flicking her eyes to Mitty's red feedback on the paper version every so often. Somehow it didn't hurt so much to see 'fix this' in Mitty's red ink when she had peppy synths playing in her ears.

Either that, or having her number softened the blow.

Alexis tilted her head thoughtfully and glanced at her phone on the table. It was quite late, almost early morning. Would Mitty be up at this hour? Did Alexis want her to be?

I can't believe I actually want to talk to her. She smiled. But oh, what if she really is asleep and her text tone wakes her up? She shuddered. Unless she's on silent. She perked up. Even then, what would I say to her? 'Hello, what are you up to?' No, too forward.

Alexis rubbed her face. "Listen to yourself, 'too forward'. Just ask her how she's doing, you big chicken." She picked up her phone and pulled up her messaging app. "At least if you talk to her you'll stop talking to yourself."

Yeah, that's likely!

"Oh my goodness, please be quiet." Alexis sighed. Blinked. "Wow. I really need to stop spending so much time alone."

Well, with Mitty's number, you won't have to be alone.

Alexis didn't have a reply for that. She found Mitty's number and tapped it, bringing up the girl's profile and chat window.

She stared.

Oh... my goodness.

Mitty's icon was not actually of Mitty. No, it was a bright pink unicorn with cartoonishly big eyes, and incredibly detailed ones at that. The unicorn's cheeks were peppered with small heart-like freckles, and it had a long, flowing mane. Alexis recognised it as a character from the girlish book series Cherry Moon.

In short, it was adorable.

And it was Mitty's icon.

Alexis struggled to reconcile this cute unicorn with the disgruntled, leather-clad punk in her class. Surely Mitty had given her the wrong number? This had to be someone else despite them sharing the same name.

Then again, Mitty's notebook and phone case came to mind, bright pink and blinding in their cuteness. Alexis had assumed the notebook was a one-off, but the phone case, and now the icon, threw a cold, hard truth in her face that she couldn't ignore.

Mitty, the scary punk who could skin you alive with just a glare, was a fan of cute things.

This didn't seem like the type of thing Mitty wanted people to know about, considering how angry she'd looked when Alexis complimented her phone case. For good reason, too. Just trying to put the angry Mitty next to her adorable icon got Alexis snickering at the absurdity of it.

Yet there was something endearing about it, too.

Buoyed by this discovery, Alexis tapped a quick text asking Mitty how she was and sent it. If Mitty didn't reply, that was fine. Somehow Alexis wasn't so terrified of waking her up anymore.

Just as she put the phone down to get to work, it chimed with a notification.

Alexis froze. Her phone hadn't chimed in months.

"There's no way she's... actually awake?" She stared at her phone, trying to make herself pick it up. This could just be her parents checking up on her. Then again, they hadn't done that for a while. It would be too much of a coincidence for them to do so right after Alexis had sent a text to someone else.

Still, just the fact that there was something for her at all caused her heart to drum erratically in her chest. Yes, she'd sent a text, but she didn't think Mitty would reply! Nobody replied to her anymore.

Swallowing and trying to beat back her anxiety, she took her phone and pulled up the notification.

Mitty: ok, i guess. u?

Me? Mitty was asking about her? She didn't reject the conversation, she actually kept it going? Granted, it wasn't much of a conversation, and she could just be being polite...

You know Mitty. You think she's being polite?

But the simple fact was, she didn't know Mitty. She thought she'd pegged her as a delinquent who sprayed obscenities on the walls in her spare time or something, but her cute icon changed things.

No, Alexis didn't know Mitty at all. But she wanted to change that.

Lexi♡: I'm good! Just going over your feedback now. Thank you for being so thorough, it really helps me out!

Well, nothing wrong with a white lie to make other people feel good. Mitty's feedback hadn't killed her, but it still didn't feel great to see writing flaws pointed out so bluntly.

Mitty: o, cool.

Well, that wasn't much, but a reply was still a reply. Maybe Mitty was just tired?

Lexi♡: Yeah. Sorry I couldn't give you feedback that good, I'm just not good at it.

A pause. Had Mitty gone somewhere? Not everyone had their phone with them all the time.

A few minutes passed. Then—

Mitty: yeah you said as much today.

Alexis wilted. That hadn't been the response she'd been expecting. Then again, what had she wanted? Affirmation? Mitty didn't seem the type to give it.

Lexi♡: Yeah. Sorry, again.

Mitty: ok.

Alexis swallowed, her heart growing cold. It looked like she'd upset Mitty again, and over text, no less. Being 'ok' never meant you were okay, especially not if it had a full stop at the end of it. Alexis wanted to apologise for upsetting her, but got the feeling that would just make Mitty angrier.

Dejected, she put her phone away, unable to continue the conversation further. Mitty obviously didn't want to talk. Alexis's first phone conversation in months, and she'd blown it, because of course she had. That was just how she did things.

I just hope Mitty's mood gets better by next week. Somehow Alexis didn't have much hope for that.