Sugar and Spice

With autumn settling in, the university library seemed busier by the day. Those not preparing for the Firestar Viewing were hard at work crunching for mock exams, looming deadlines, or just escaping from the steadily increasing chill. The library was now filled with a constant hum of quiet chatter, like that of a TV left on in the background, giving a sense of comfort and camaraderie.

Mitty and Alexis sat at a table near the window overlooking the field that stretched from the campus to student accommodation. The normally green grass was now dusted orange with flame daisies and fallen leaves, and if they dared to open the window (Vacerus forbid), the earthy scent of fallen rain would greet them. Summer still clung to the branches of a few trees, but by the time of the Firestar Viewing the rain would truly wash it away.

Supposedly Alexis lived in one of the apartments across the field, but Mitty had yet to see it. She wasn't sure what level of friendship was appropriate to invite herself over, even if Alexis had been visibly enthused to see her outside class. Vacerus forbid she impose during such a fragile time as a blossoming friendship. Still, she had to wonder what Alexis' apartment looked like. It was probably neat and well-organised, minimalist yet practical. Alexis seemed the type. Not quite like Mitty's room of plushies, which was a secret she intended to take to the grave.

And so, with neither of them invited to each other’s dwellings, they sat together in a public space, evaluating their assignments to get a head start on class.

"So listen, your--are you crying again?" Mitty looked up from Alexis' paper to see the girl's grey eyes glistening in that dangerous way that told Mitty that she'd have to comfort her. Alexis, please don't cry, I'm not made for that sort of thing and it'll be super awkward for both of us!

"N-no," said Alexis hurriedly. She pulled up her glasses and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her lavender tunic.

Mitty sighed. She'd noticed this lately when they gave each other feedback; Alexis reverted to the timidity of their first day, unsure of herself and aware, far too aware, of any word that came either out of Mitty's mouth or Mitty's pen. It was notable in its absence any other time they were together; normally, they'd reached a point they could almost talk face to face like normal Vistians, but when it came to work, Mitty had to walk on eggshells to make sure she didn't upset Alexis. However, she'd clearly somehow stepped on a landmine this time.

It was, quite frankly, exhausting.

"Look." Mitty glanced at the orange-speckled field outside. If only she could be out there right now and not facing someone liable to turn into a fountain at a moment's notice. "I was going to say, your writing is good. That's nothing to cry over."

Alexis' big grey eyes refused to lose their tearful sheen despite her wiping them. It was like looking at a wronged puppy. She didn't say anything, but her eyes spoke for her. "Then why? Why are you so mean about it?"

Mitty sighed again. She didn't want to hurt Alexis. She wanted to make the girl smile in that adorable way that was unique to her, lips upturned in that small, yet sincere gesture that spoke of bashful joy, like she was afraid of expressing too much--

I'm getting off track here!

Point being, making Alexis sad was akin to digging a hole straight to oblivion, and right now Mitty had the drill.

"You've just got a lot to work on," she said, feeling the drill dig deeper with each word but being unable to stop it, "as I'm sure I do. Nobody's writing is perfect."

"You're right. Of course you're right!" Alexis smiled, but it reached her eyes in a way that bordered on a squint. "I'll work on it."

Something sharp dug itself into Mitty. She wished it was shame. "I'm right, but…" She growled before catching herself and turned it into a sigh. "Do you want to do something else?"

"Huh?"

"Pause. Talk about something other than work."

Alexis shook her head vigorously, blue hair flying. "No, no! We're here to work, so we will."

"It's upsetting you."

"But we need to do our work!"

Mitty wanted to ask if she was sure. She wanted to press on so they could push this awkward assignment past them. She wanted to get her grade and move on from something that was quickly becoming irritating for her and painful for her friend. Getting through this, however much it sucked, would be the responsible thing to do.

So Mitty said, "We can do our work later. This isn't due for ages yet."

If she hadn't been looking, she would have missed the brief flash of relief in Alexis' eyes. The girl looked quickly down at the table to obscure her face. "I… I guess that's true?"

It couldn't be more obvious that they were both aware they were avoiding an issue if it hit them with a sledgehammer. It would have been so easy to push through, for Mitty to say her piece, and get on with the assignment with an unwilling partner. It was only for a grade, after all; she could deal with being hated if it meant moving on.

The problem was, her partner was Alexis.

She hadn't counted on that. She hadn't befriended a student in years. To her, they were work colleagues at best, toiling through the same labour she was. And at worst, though she hesitated to admit it, they were tools to get her a grade.

The chill of the outside seeped into her bones, the wind snaking through the window to wrap around her chest.

To think she'd almost used Alexis like that.

Mitty swallowed the bile rising in her throat. She had to say something, anything to wash the taste away. If ignoring the issue was what it took, she'd do it. "So how's your day going?" she blurted out.

Alexis stared at her. At least that incredibly stupid question had dried the girl's eyes from sheer incredulity. "It's… fine?" she said, or rather asked, the unspoken question being, "Are you okay, Mitty?"

Mitty turned away to look at the field, ignoring the damned heat on her face. She watched an orange leaf flutter by on the wind, a speck of fire on green and grey. Soon, many leaves like it would paint the sky in oranges and reds, and those down below would celebrate the colours in drunken joy.

Mitty had only been among them in her childhood, when her parents had dragged her out to watch the Firestars fall. It was one of few times they could get together, and everything would be fine, if only for a few precious hours.

A fuzzy, empty feeling settled in her chest. It tugged at her, taking her back to her parents, her old house, her old self. She closed her eyes, her mother's sweet baking filling her nose as her father prepared the picnic basket. Any minute now, she'd be called over to fill the basket with Mum's amazing pastries, and then they'd all walk down to the park together, laughing and pushing Dad's latest blunder away, Mum's frequent absences, Mitty's crying, pushing and pushing and pushing--

"Mitty?"

Mitty's eyes snapped open and she tore them away from the window. The quiet hum of the library washed over her like a soothing balm, bringing her back to the present and reminding her she wasn't alone. Alexis stared at her with her head tilted slightly, blue hair spilling over her shoulder. Her eyes were now completely dry, but were wide with concern.

"Sorry, zoned out for a bit," Mitty mumbled, waving away the cobwebs of her family. She felt like she'd just drank an entire bottle of wine in one minute, with none of the benefits.

"Something on your mind?" Alexis asked softly. Then, as her eyes widened further, "Is it the assignment? Should we get back to it after all? I'm s--"

"When's the Firestar Viewing?"

Alexis blinked rapidly, as though something fell in her eye. "Come again?"

Mitty lowered her gaze to the table. If Alexis said those words now, that damned unnecessary apology, Mitty feared how she'd react. "The Firestar Viewing Festival. I forgot where it falls this year." She didn't.

"Um, it's next Saturday," Alexis replied, shuffling Mitty's papers in her hand before quickly dropping them unceremoniously on the table.

Mitty narrowed her eyes at the fluttering papers. Anything so she wouldn't have to focus on them. "Are you doing anything for it?"

Alexis rubbed her head, her gaze darting across the library as though one of its books held her answer. She smiled, her cheek twitching. "N-no."

Mitty wondered if she should be surprised. She wasn't. Still, now that she was here, she wasn't sure she should keep going. What was her intention? Was she really going to use the festival to avoid issues… again? Would that be fair to Alexis?

Alexis sat beside her under the tree, watching the Firestars fly through the air. Her soft body pressed up against Mitty like a warm cushion, her head leaning on Mitty's shoulder. Mitty drank in the lavender scent wafting from her hair, fighting with herself not to run her fingers through it. She watched the fire leaves drifting on the wind, enveloping her in a cosy warmth. She put her arm over Alexis and pulled her closer, and together they enjoyed the Viewing.

Mitty's cheeks caught fire. She snapped back to the library, back to… oh Vacerus, Alexis was right there, in front of her, watching her with those big, curious grey eyes. If she knew what had just gone through Mitty's head…

Mitty almost slammed her head on the table with how quickly she looked down. Whatever she'd wanted to say, she couldn't get past the sudden desert that had formed in her mouth. Yet if she left the conversation at that, Alexis would know something was up.

Damn it, the Viewing was just supposed to be a distraction! Now… now…

She'd felt so safe with her parents during the Viewing. How fun it'd been for them despite everything. Could she… could she share that feeling again? With…

Mitty looked back up at Alexis. Her brows were furrowed in confusion, but she was smiling. It wasn't quite her usual smile, but seeing it still made Mitty's heart skip a beat. Her face threatened to melt off. Sweet Freya, stop it, stop it! Alexis probably thinks you're going nuts!

Then... Alexis giggled.

Mitty begged the dragon Gods to take her, because right now, not even the coldest ice could cool her face down. That little lilt in Alexis' laugh chimed sweetly in Mitty's ears, somehow soothing and burning her at the same time. It almost didn't matter that Alexis was likely laughing at her. And it was certainly better than the tears from earlier.

If distractions were what it took...

"Mitty, it's okay, you won't be any less tough if you ask me." Alexis blinked. "Oh, um! Unless you, uh, weren't going to ask, and I just got all self important and assumed things and… oh, no." She froze. "Oh no, I'm so sorry, I just really wanted to go to the Viewing with a friend and I just assumed that's where you were go--"

It was Mitty's turn to laugh. Alexis' verbal vomit was just so damn silly, it dispelled her own self-consciousness. "Yes, I was going to ask if you wanted to go together," she said, quieting when she caught people glancing at them. She glared at them and they quickly looked away.

She froze.

Alexis was smiling that tiny smile of hers, the one that reached her eyes without actually doing so. Her genuine smile.

Mitty turned sharply away to hide her boiling cheeks, her heart leaping to her mouth. It's just a smile, you moron! she chided herself. Stop thinking like this, or at least stop being so damn obvious about it! That damn Amni, it was his fault she was acting like this! If he hadn't said…

"She must like you a lot to want to hang out--"

Mitty cleared her throat and took a breath so deep she tried to inhale the whole library. Enough. It was time to stop acting like a schoolgirl and start acting like Mitty.

"Mitty, I'm sorry if this is embarrassing for you." Alexis' smile softened. "I can tell this is hard. But, well… thank you. I'm so glad you asked me. I'd love to celebrate with you."

Mitty's resolve almost buckled. Her heart hammered in her chest, but she was not going to get flustered anymore. "Then that's that," she said gruffly.

She hadn't noticed until Alexis shuffled the papers that their work had been swapped back, and Mitty's own assignment sat in front of her with Alexis' heart-filled comments. That was for the best. They'd do this properly some other time.

For sure.

"Actually, I haven't celebrated the Viewing since high school," Alexis murmured, now looking away herself.

Mitty's ears lowered. The Firestar Viewing was something to be celebrated with friends, family, significant others… if Alexis lived in student housing, that left out her family. So...

Was she all alone?

"Alexis, am I your only friend?" Mitty asked. A bit more blunt than she'd intended.

"What? No, of course not!" Alexis' smile grew strained. "There's my mum! And my dad…"

Mitty raised her eyebrow.

"They count!"

Mitty sighed. Knowing for sure that Alexis was alone put things in perspective. It was no wonder she'd been so keen to befriend Mitty; the poor girl would probably befriend a vacuum cleaner if it could speak. So was Mitty just a convenience? Someone who just happened to be her friend because their professor had put them together?

Mitty ignored the cold feeling in her gut. She was probably just overthinking it. Besides, this highlighted a very important fact that should have been the first thing she'd thought of if she wasn't so selfish.

Alexis only had one friend.

Well, that was about to change. Mitty pushed her doubts aside, tossing them in the ‘Issues’ pool to let them swim for another time.

"Alexis, you like video games, right?"

***

So much for taking the secret to her grave.

"Your room is so cute!" Alexis had said upon entering Mitty's plush-filled box. "I had no idea you could fit so many plushies in one space."

"Are you playing or not?" Mitty grumbled as she set up her computer.

"Oh, wow, you have so many books." Mitty wasn't watching, but it sounded like Alexis was examining her shelves. "You must read like, a ton."

Mitty sighed. She'd been so caught up in giving Alexis another friend that she'd forgotten about her room. Oh well; it was worth dealing with if it meant Alexis had more company. Though her gushing wasn't making it easy.

"Hey, wait, is this book your--"

"Alexis come here and try the damn game."

"Oh! Sorry." Alexis scurried over to Mitty's side, peering over her shoulder. Mitty tried to ignore the sweet lavender scent of her hair so close to her face. "I just haven't been to a friend's room in ages. Guess I got a bit carried away."

"It's fine," Mitty grunted, though her heart dropped a little. Poor Alexis. She's lonelier than I thought.

She booted up Legends Online and clicked on the 'New Character' button. It took her to a customisation screen with many different races, colours, and styles to choose from, while calming flute music played in the background. Before Mitty could say anything, Alexis gasped.

"There's so much to--is that a unicorn? Can you be a unicorn?" She practically vibrated next to Mitty. "Oh, birdfolk! Ohmigosh! I haven't seen them in a game in ages."

Mitty stifled a laugh. Alexis had mentioned she liked games, but Mitty hadn't expected such an excited reaction. Did Alexis know how adorable she was?

"I've heard of this game, but never had a chance to try it," Alexis went on. "Always thought my laptop couldn't handle it."

Mitty got up from her seat and gestured for Alexis to take her place. "It can run on most hardware that’s not too old," she said, "I think you'll be fine."

Alexis glanced at Mitty before slowly, very slowly, sitting down, as though the chair were a bomb that would explode on contact. Once she saw the chair had not in fact rained shrapnel across the room, she smiled cautiously up at Mitty before taking the mouse. "Is it okay if I look around?" she asked.

Mitty raised her eyebrow. "Dude, I invited you here to try the game, of course you can look," she replied.

Alexis nodded before turning to the game. "Yeah, but I know some people are picky about their setups or something," she murmured.

"So long as you're not rooting through my computer, I think you're fine."

"Right, of course."

After at least half an hour--Mitty kept an eye on the time to make sure her plan wouldn't fall through--and much excitable chattering from Alexis, the girl finally had a character ready to play with. She chose a birdfolk singer and decked her in flowing white robes matching her cream-coloured feathers. Mitty nodded her approval at Alexis' eye for detail.

"Um, which server should I join?" Alexis asked. "I would rather it be one you know."

Mitty understood. There was no telling who you'd end up with even on a server you were familiar with, but you could count on friends being there, at least. And speaking of…

Mitty entered the server for Alexis, and sure enough, the name 'Amnesias' popped up in the corner of the screen with an online symbol beside it. She smirked and took out her headset while clicking his name.

"Um, Mitty?" Alexis eyed the headset warily. "What are you doing?"

"Yo, Amni." Mitty spoke into the mic. "You there?"

Amni? Alexis mouthed.

Sure enough, the familiar tinny voice greeted Mitty. "'Sup?"

"I've got someone I want you to meet." Mitty glanced at Alexis and smirked. The girl's eyes widened and she shook her head so fast her hair slapped the chair.

"Oh?" Amni's character popped into the hub. The hooded lizardfolk whirled around, clearly looking for Mitty's character. "And who's that?" He jumped in the air. "Is it your new friend?"

Mitty hadn't counted on him sussing her out so quickly. He was smarter than he looked. She begged her cheeks to stay cool and thanked Terros Alexis couldn't hear him. "Yes."

"Oooooooooh…" Mitty could hear his smirk. She tried to ignore it. "Okay, put her on."

She took off her headset and handed it to Alexis. "Amni wants to say hi."

"Amni? Who's Amni?" Now Alexis really was vibrating, but not from excitement. "I can't talk to him, I don't know him!"

"Well, yeah, that's kind of the point of talking," said Mitty with a shrug. She did feel bad making Alexis so nervous, but she was sure it would turn out okay. "So you get to know him."

"But… but! I'm not ready!" The headset shook in Alexis' hands. "You didn't say this would happen, I thought I was just trying the game."

"And you are! And Amni will help you."

"But I thought you would help me!" Her pitch rose in desperation.

Mitty's ears flattened. Was this really okay? Alexis was still shaking. It seemed she'd underestimated just how timid she was. She figured if Alexis had been brave enough to talk to her with all her shields up, talking to Amni would be no problem. Had she screwed up?

"I'm sorry," she murmured, looking down at her cream carpet. "I just thought this would be a good way for you to make a friend."

Alexis' shaking slowed. "Oh." She swivelled slowly in the chair to face Mitty. "That's… really nice of you."

"No, it's not, I made you uncomfortable," Mitty mumbled, sitting on her bed beside the computer. Apologies were an odd look for her, but somehow this one spilled out with the ease of a fountain. "I should've asked first."

"Well…" Alexis tapped Mitty's shoulder, making her look up. Alexis was smiling, the headset still in her hands. "Yeah. But it's not your fault I'm such a scaredy-cat."

Mitty winced. The conversation with Amni flitted in her head. I called you a pansy. "That's not something to be ashamed of," she said. "It's just how you are."

"But I don't want to be that way!" Alexis shook her head again. "You were just trying to help, and I said no without even trying. That's rude."

Mitty rolled her eyes and did something she didn't expect. She actually touched Alexis back. Sure, it was a poke on her shoulder, but Mitty hadn't touched anyone playfully in… She didn't care to think. The gesture rolled off her so easily, so naturally, that she didn't feel even a little embarrassed about it. "Nah," she said with a small grin. With that, she put an end to the apology session. "So, if you don't want to talk to Amni, I'll just--"

"No, wait!" Alexis yanked the headset close before Mitty could reach for it. "I do, I will. I was just surprised." Her blue cheeks tinged pink. "... Thank you."

Mitty sighed, smiling in exasperation. She leaned back on her bed, against the wall, as Alexis finally put on the headset.

"Um, h-hello?" she squeaked into the mic. Her cheeks steadily reddened as she listened to the other end. "You… heard everything?"

Mitty's face turned the same shade and her eyes darted away from Alexis. Now I won't hear the end of it from him.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to suggest anything, I'm sure you're very nice! I'm just…" Alexis looked at the computer screen. Mitty couldn't see what was happening from her bed, but she imagined Amni abusing the gestures to emote. "Oh… okay. Good. Sorry, again… Yes, I guess we should do this properly." She smiled.

Mitty watched from her bed as Alexis met her closest friend for the first time. And she didn't feel the least bit apprehensive about it. It felt right. And now, hopefully, Alexis would have a new friend.

"Hi, Amni," she said with a smile. "I'm Alexis. Nice to meet you."