Story

Matthew was born in 1995, England, in a Staffordshire town known as Denman.
His parents were Lisa and Jodie Navarro, a working-class, same-sex couple. Though the hand they were dealt didn’t always make things easy, they tried their absolute best for their boys. Charlie Navarro, his brother, was born 4 years before him.
Matthew, known by a different name when he was younger as he was raised female, had a very laid-back upbringing. Neither Lisa or Jodie were the fussy, strict sort of parents, but both were very affectionate and caring. They did not have a lot of luxuries at their disposal, but most of the time, Matthew and Charlie made their own fun.

Matthew was a grouchy, hot-headed child, stubbornly independent with a penchant for trouble. He didn’t like doing what he was told, hated school, and didn’t get on with any of his peers. He liked to play with his brother, and occasionally, his niece, Nicole, but at school, he was a loner.
This bothered Lisa and Jodie, desperate for their antisocial child to make some friends. He wouldn’t go to girl guides and he gave up after one session of karate, but he was eventually persuaded into sticking with cub scouts.
It was there that he met Kai London. A few years older than him, Kai was assigned to be Matthew’s buddy, but it soon became clear that Matthew wasn’t going to make that easy for him. But Kai was a patient, pleasant boy, and after only a few weeks, they grew very close.

But the new friendships didn’t end at just Matthew and Kai. Time spent at each other's homes meant that eventually, Jodie and Lisa met Kai’s parents, Dominic and Indira London. The two families soon became friends.

Matthew thought Kai’s family was great. He thought his dad in particular, Dominic, was incredible - a retired guitarist who used to play shows with his band was the coolest thing imaginable to young Matt. All the old instruments stuffed in his garage fascinated him too, and it was always a treat when they were allowed to muck about with them. He loved all the instruments, but the ones that stood out to him the most were always the drums.

It wasn’t long before Matthew was introduced to Kai’s close friend, Iona Jacobs. Matthew liked Iona - she was older, but still wanted to play with them, and she came out with some of the craziest things. She was convinced that one day, she’d lead a famous band and become a rockstar. In fact, she and Kai had apparently already formed a sort-of band. Matthew, envious, wished he could join them, and it wasn’t long before he asked Dominic to teach him how to play drums.

Though there was nothing wrong with Matthew’s childhood, he wasn’t happy. He was often picked on - the girls in school thought he was weird and the boys just rejected him.
It wasn’t long before he was in trouble with teachers, and he soon began to notice that the only time that other pupils seemed to remotely like him was when he was acting up. Gaining approval from the boys felt amazing.
In truth, a big part of why Matthew was so unhappy was because of how they perceived him - as a girl. He didn’t know then why being reminded of this made him so angry and bitter, but when he entered puberty is when he began to know something was actually very wrong.

Matthew became a problematic kid. He was in constant trouble at school, where he’d bunk off constantly and kick off at teachers over nothing.
But the people who got the most grief off of Matthew were his parents. As he entered his teenage years, he began to hate Lisa and Jodie - and Charlie too, for that matter. He’d vent his own feelings of anger and discomfort by lashing out at them, horrible arguments that took place constantly.
He also hated having to share a room with Charlie. Their small, two-bedroom home wasn’t ideal. Years ago, they were planning on moving to a three-bedroom, but as that didn’t pan out, and Matthew, at the time, had said that he liked sharing, the family decided to stay put.
But now, Matthew felt differently. He avoided being at home if he could help it, instead opting to stay at the London’s home, and often sleeping over.

It wasn’t long before the black hair dye and chequered wristbands came out. Becoming angsty and withdrawn, Matthew preferred the company of his music. It was good, then, that he’d been playing drums in Kai and Iona’s band, Snake Bitez, for a few years now, a massively beneficial influence on his life, and a great vent for all of his frustrations.

Matthew didn’t come to the conclusion that he was transgender overnight. In fact, it was a gradual process that took many years. He eventually realised that all he’d been doing his entire life so far, was wish to be male instead. It followed him around like a dark cloud. He couldn’t escape this conclusion - he was the wrong gender. It was the only thing in his life that made sense. He’d spend hours thinking about being male, envisioning his life if it was different in this way.

Matthew was scared of coming out, understandably. He didn’t know how his mums would respond to their only daughter coming out as a transgender boy.
Matthew already felt like a disappointment for being such a tomboy, and though he had a lot of pent up anger towards his parents, he still felt guilt at the idea of letting them down.
The first person he spoke to was Kai, who, despite not totally understanding, was supportive, and told Matthew he’d have his back, whatever path he chose - but he advised Matthew that he really should talk to his parents about it.

In 2011, Matthew sat down with Charlie, coming out to him before their parents. The brothers had really drifted apart in recent years.
So much of Matthew’s anger had been unfairly aimed at Charlie, and this - plus other factors, meant that Charlie had significantly distanced himself from him.
But when Matthew came out, Charlie understood with ease. He wrapped him in a hug and told him, in his characteristically free-spirited way, that being true to yourself is the key to being happy. The next day, Matthew told his parents, too, who listened, before earnestly reassuring Matthew that whatever it takes for him to be happy is important to them too, and that they’d navigate this together.
A massive weight off his shoulders, Matthew immediately felt more at ease. He felt closer to his family immediately, and as soon as he was using new pronouns and a new name, his happiness increased twofold. His family could not have responded better, and their support really did mean the world to Matthew.
Not everything was perfect - some extended family were not as understanding, and school could have accommodated him better, but in Matthew’s eyes, it hardly mattered.

Matthew’s life continued. For his 16th birthday, Matthew got a Rainbow Lorikeet, a type of parrot, who was (usually) named Dean. He still played with Snake Bitez, and in fact, they were now putting out some quite decent music, and playing the occasional show, too. Years earlier, they’d put out a ‘proper’ album, called Night Tremors, for which they’d even rented a studio to record in. Being younger than the rest of the band, Matthew found himself around a lot of bad influence - though he was having the time of his life, especially now he was living male, he was still drinking underage and finding himself in situations a bit too adult for him. The fake ID that Iona fixed him up with meant that they didn’t usually have any problems. However, in 2012, Matthew temporarily left Snake Bitez after he fell out with Kai. When Kai confronted Matthew about the often demeaning and sexist remarks he made about women, he managed to strike a nerve with Matthew, who was sensitive to conversations concerning his gender. They made up by the end of the year, and Matthew resumed his role in Snake Bitez.

Matthew, after secondary school, decided to enrol at Denman’s Post-16 Centre. He wasn’t actually an unpopular kid now - he’d made a lot of connections because of his band, and had earned a reputation as a pretty cool kid. He was into skateboarding, and drums, of course, and in regards to his transgender identity, he lived mostly stealth.

One afternoon, Matthew, at the skate park as he often was, got talking to Martha Anderson. He immediately hit it off with her, and learned that she attended the same Post-16 Centre as him. Matthew thought Martha was fit. Learning that she was gay and had a girlfriend was a disappointment, but Matthew knew that nothing could happen anyway. He could never have a relationship, he thought. He never wanted to have to disclose the fact he was trans to anyone.

Martha’s friend, Addison Ellis, hardly ever left her side, and Addison didn’t like Matthew very much at all. As it happened, Matthew didn’t like Addison very much either, and he couldn’t fathom how they and Martha were friends.
Matthew spent time on his breaks at Post-16 with Martha - regardless of the death glares and straight up threats Addison gave him. Matthew and Martha shared a similar sense of humour and a mischievous spirit. He also befriended her girlfriend, Sylvi Dee.
When he invited them to watch him play with his band was when they met Kai, and thus, the friendship group was born.

In 2013, Matthew met Julian Bailey - Snake Bitez’s new bassist. The band had gone through a couple members by this point, but Julian was talented, and the others could tell that he was in it for the long haul.
The band also met Abigail Shepley, a friend of Iona’s who was also a fan of the band. Matthew, like the rest of the band, became close with her.

Matthew and his friends eventually graduated post-16, and he spent just as much time with Martha, Sylvi, and Addison, and Kai. The 5 of them spent many evenings together. They'd hang out at skate parks, spend summer days and nights together, and eventually, spend many a wild night at pubs and nightclubs.

Matthew got a job working at the same garage as Kai. He didn’t love it, and he wasn’t great at it, but he did love finally getting a consistent income.
His life may not have been ideal, but things were stable enough. Sadly, they weren’t to stay that way for long.

It was in the Spring of 2015 when Matthew woke up to a very strange circumstance. He’d woken up to a world where no other people existed. It was as though everyone had vanished overnight.
Matthew didn’t know what to do. His family had gone. In a state of shock, Matthew’s first thought was to get into his car and drive.
He eventually bumped into Martha and Addison - who genuinely seemed to be the only other two people on the planet. Nobody had a clue as to where everybody had gone. They searched and searched, but the streets were empty, and even online, there was nothing but silence.

And so began the events of Impossible Years. It would seem that everyone Matthew knew, everyone in the world except the three of them had just… gone.
The trio set out on a journey seemingly doomed from the start, discovering secrets about their world and very existence that they never could have imagined. They trained with weapons designed to take on the unique nature of the foes they faced, met strangers from another time, and discovered some of the most hidden corners of the planet that they thought they knew. They met Iyalah, a strange, otherworldly woman who would serve as guide and mentor on the trio's impossible journey.
For 2 years, Matthew travelled the planet with Martha and Addison, their goal, to kill a god. It was not a hopeful situation they were presented with, but Matthew watched as Martha pushed through regardless. Her tenacity paid off, and despite the impossible odds, Martha not only resolved a divine battle that had been happening since time immemorial, but she also returned her world to how it once was. Time itself reverted back to the morning that everyone originally disappeared.
It was very, very strange to be thrust back into normality after experiencing some of the most harrowing things that anyone can go through. Matthew wasn’t the same person he was before it happened - he’d never be that version of himself again.
But Matthew didn’t want to think about it - he refused to think about it, in fact. He wanted nothing more than to return to the normality he craved, but mentally, he was scarred, and his head was all over the place.

During those years, Matthew formed a bond with Martha and Addison. He and Martha got to know each other on a deep level - she’d seen through his cocky facade, and now, he had nothing to hide from her. They were no longer just fair-weather friends.
But his relationship with Addison was what changed the most. The two of them, once enemies, became good friends during the events of those years. They came to understand each other very well, finding out they had far more in common than they ever really had thought. Unrestrained loathing became an uneasy tolerance, which eventually became something like a bond. The resulting friendship could be considered light-hearted and sibling-like in nature, but Matthew and Addison grew to be very close.

Going back to normal life was weird. People like Sylvi and Kai were puzzled by how different all three of them had become, seemingly overnight, and they were especially confused by how close Matthew and Addison seemed to be in particular.
Sylvi was told what happened a few days later - but Kai never was.

Matthew’s family became worried. Shortly afterwards, he became emotional and clingy - so unlike him. He was reluctant to leave the house, and constantly on edge. Nobody knew what was wrong, and even to his friends who were in the know, he clammed up. He wouldn’t talk about Impossible Years.
He appeared to improve. Matthew had successfully restrained any feelings regarding what he’d been through, and he behaved, on the surface, unaffected by those horrific events. But Matthew suffered. He’d have flashbacks, night terrors, and even seemingly innocuous things would trigger him. But it wasn’t until winter arrived that he realised the full extent of his trauma. After something that happened in Impossible Years, Matthew was left with severe cryophobia, and this was one thing that he couldn’t hide from anyone.

One thing that didn’t change about Matthew was how much he liked to drink. In fact, during Impossible Years, he and Martha had frequently indulged in booze, and now, the two of them would go out every weekend and wake up hardly remembering the previous night.
Sylvi didn’t like this. She was convinced they were doing it for the wrong reasons. Sylvi, who had a decent knowledge of and interest in psychology, insisted that all three of them, Addison included, needed proper therapy.
In fact, Sylvi herself eventually began having ‘therapeutic talks’ with Martha and even Addison. Matthew, however, refused to even entertain the idea. He was fine.

The year after Impossible Years, Matthew moved out of his parents to live with Kai, convinced he needed space. Truthfully, it was a pretty spontaneous decision, but despite Lisa and Jodie’s best intentions, Matthew felt smothered. In his eyes, they’d worry about him less if they saw him less.
It could be argued that Matthew’s lifestyle became unhealthier. He’d spend weekdays after work on pub crawls, and made new friends with even worse habits. Iona in particular was someone he’d spend a lot of time with, and she was just about the worst influence that you could find in Denman.

Kai watched his flatmate with painful apprehension as his drinking became a nightly occurrence. He’d recently had to split up with Abigail, who he’d been seeing for a few years, after her drug addiction became severe, and he was now getting an awful sense of deja vu.
Matthew’s job hung in the balance when he started showing up to work drunk or not at all, and when Kai noticed Matthew drinking in the mornings too, he started to become very anxious.

People started to talk.

2017, however, was an exciting year. In June, all 6 of the odd little friendship group (Matthew, Martha, Addison, Kai, Sylvi, and Charlie) rented a car, and road tripped across the American Midwest. They had an incredible time - staying up, lighting campfires and drinking lager under the stars, skimming stones, telling stories and sharing banter until the sun came up. Their times in the US are some of Matthew’s favourite memories, but this was mostly because of one specific person.

In Ohio, the group met Dakota Laney, a shy waitress who hit it off with Matthew, and wound up sticking with the group for the remainder of their holiday.
Though there were a few bumps and unexpected turns along the way, at the conclusion of their time there, Matthew and Dakota made the decision to enter into a long-distance relationship.

At first, Matthew seemed better. He appeared to start taking care of himself, he appeared in a better mood. Though the long-distance was hard, all of his friends and family agreed that he was doing better and that there was no cause for concern, but unfortunately, this was short-lived.
Dakota was a person with her own demons, and when he found himself exposed to her depressive tendencies, it only escalated his own problems. Tragically, they exacerbated each other's mental health issues, and it wasn’t long before Matthew was worse off than before. Soon, not only was Matthew back to his reliance on alcohol, he was hiding it from people, too.

Matthew no longer had his job at the garage - him and Kai had both quit in order to work on Snake Bitez full time. It seemed like their music careers were really kicking off, and soon they even found themselves touring. This brought with it a lot of stress, and Matthew found himself in a lot of really unhealthy environments.
Before long, Matthew was quite an unpleasant person to be around. If he wasn’t some kind of inebriated, he was sour, short-tempered, and would fly off the handle over any small thing.

Kai moved out to live with Addison, now his partner, after an argument between him and Matthew went way too far. It was now no secret that Matthew had some kind of drinking problem, but up until this point, he himself had vehemently denied it. Attempts to talk to Matthew about this or god forbid hold some kind of intervention usually resulted in him blowing up and storming out the room.

But at some point in 2019, he stopped trying to deny it, and in 2020, he said that he’d try to cut down. Ultimately, it was too difficult, however. Still stubbornly refusing professional help and insisting that it was not that big a deal, Matthew was unprepared for the awful withdrawals he faced, not to mention scared of how dangerous he knew it could be.
That wasn’t the only problem. It was January, the middle of winter, and consequently, the time of the year that Matthew found the most triggering.
Dakota, too, was a significant cause of stress for him. They began having awful arguments, then dramatically reconciling, back and forth again and again. Dakota would often threaten terrible things, compelled by her own depressive neuroticism, leaving Matthew in a state of anxiety and stress.
Snake Bitez, and its domineering frontwoman, too, held a significant amount of power over Matthew’s life and his mental state.
With all these elements in consideration, it was impossible for Matthew to make any progress, and consequently, he decided that he didn’t even want to stop drinking. He couldn’t, wouldn’t, and refused to discuss it any further.

Over Christmas 2020, Matthew and Dakota had the worst argument they’d ever had, and afterwards, they had a messy, heated breakup. It was exhausting, and extremely difficult for them both.
After that and through the first half of 2021, Matthew’s life spiralled, truly and completely out of control. He lost touch or fell out with most of his friends and family, and the only true friends he ever meaningfully interacted with were Martha or Addison - and that was exceptionally rare. Even Kai, his bandmate and lifelong best friend avoided Matt wherever possible.
Existence was more like a blur to Matthew. Drinking and music gigs were all he really knew. He started sleeping with Iona. Rarely sober, his health deteriorated, and he went through a brief phase of ketamine use. Fortunately, that stopped quickly after mixing it with alcohol nearly killed him.
Matthew was arrested after running from police - they stormed a shady venue the band played at. He found himself in brawls, fights with no apparent cause.
He lived in a manic, unpredictable manner, and when he didn’t, he was concerningly depressed, with suicidal ideations. He’d sometimes disappear off the radar for days. Something had to change.

Martha was the only one still actively trying to help him. Nothing Matthew could do seemed to cause Martha to give up on him, and one summer day, she conjured a plan.

Matthew was furious when she, Addison, and Kai came through his front door and announced they were cleaning his flat. He wouldn’t have it, but they wouldn’t stop, so he stormed out and drove off - but not before Martha jumped into the back seat.
What happened next wasn’t pretty. After Matthew insulted, berated, and mocked Martha for the entirety of their 15 minute drive, he crashed into a hedge, and after he realised there was no alcohol in the glove compartment, he had what can only be described as a mental breakdown.
But after he calmed down, he and Martha laid in the grassy field they found themselves on, and eventually, they talked. Matthew had the longest and most honest conversation he’d had in years, and when he did return home, he walked into an unrecognisably clean living space.

Something Martha did must have helped, because a month later, he went to the doctors and asked for some help, and a month after that, he found himself at his first AA meeting.

It was at AA that he met Lana Paul, an attractive stranger and fellow alcoholic who he immediately hit it off with.
Matthew started to make some new friends - far better friends than most of the company he’d kept for the last several years. They’d hang out at Ray’s - a non-alcoholic pub run by Raymond Morrison.
Improvement was slow, but it was there. Turns out, asking for help can pay off - therapy and medication worked wonders, and gradually, Matthew’s perspective began to change. However, It still took an awful lot of work on Matthew’s part before he reached any sort of stability in his life.

When Lana split up with her boyfriend and became homeless, Matthew was quick to offer help, and she stayed at his flat, sleeping on his sofa for several weeks before they had a falling out - Matthew had been lying to her about the nature of his entire life, and when Lana found out, she stormed out on him.

Matthew was upset about what happened with Lana, but he was soon faced with another hardship, when Martha told him that Dakota had had a suicide attempt.
This threw Matthew off course completely. Even though he hadn’t spoken to Dakota for nearly a year, this was a massive blow. He couldn’t handle the news, and it seemed all the progress he’d made had been for nothing.
Early November in 2021, Matthew bought aeroplane tickets and flew to the US.
Dakota was shocked and offended to discover Matthew there in her city, but things quickly became amicable between them. As self-centred as what Matthew did was, Dakota really appreciated him being there, and he ended up staying for two weeks. Though these two weeks were not often simple, and there were some significant bumps in the road, the two of them felt some form of closure when Matthew left for his plane. Some time to talk about everything that happened between them benefitted them both in the long run, and Matthew came home feeling a lot more content than he had in a long time.
He and Dakota decided that though they both meant a lot to each other, and though they were friends, the two of them should not be in a relationship. What they had before was so unhealthy.

When he returned to England, he soon found that Lana had made contact, worried about him. They made up, and it wasn’t long before Lana was once again sleeping on his sofa.
Lana and Matthew’s relationship was full of shameless flirting, but nothing had happened between them - that was, until the night they both slept together in an inebriated state. This continued for a few weeks, until Matthew started to realise that they were both getting themselves into a very toxic pattern, and, impressively, put a stop to it.

Eventually, Lana moved into a friend's house, and Matthew went back to working on music with Snake Bitez, after he’d had a short break.
It was hard for Matthew to do this while he was supposed to be recovering. He couldn’t play a show sober, and the environments he found himself in, not to mention the people he found himself with, made any sort of sobriety impossible.
Iona’s actions nowadays were straight-up dangerous. In March, Matthew received a concussion after a particularly bad incident.

Matthew and Dakota missed each other too much. Though there was a brief time where it seemed as though Matthew might have had to choose between Dakota and Lana, it was always Dakota.
Matthew and Dakota, despite struggling with their respective problems, decided that they were better off together than apart, and early 2022, they started seeing each other again.

It wasn’t long after this that the situation with Snake Bitez really came to a head. Addison and Iona got into a very serious physical altercation that left Addison in a coma, and if it wasn’t for Matthew being there when he was, it could have been even worse.
Iona delivered some extremely serious threats to Matthew. She made it perfectly clear what would happen were he to talk about what he saw that night.
The next few months were tricky. Iona, desperately trying to stay in control, was the primary cause for Matthew’s hospitalisation after alcohol poisoning. Julian, who left the band the previous year, was the one to find him collapsed on the street, and call an ambulance.

In August, though, the truth about who Addison’s attacker was came to light. Matthew and Kai left Snake Bitez for good, and they could finally move on.

With Iona and the rock music scene out of the way, Matthew could properly focus on his recovery and mending his relationships.
Dakota spent longer and longer periods in the UK. In 2023, Matthew proposed to her, and she soon started living in the UK permanently.
Life seemed to improve, and after a brief time out of work and living off the money he earned through Snake Bitez (His payments, when he wasn’t spending all of his money on booze, were really quite substantial), he eventually got work delivering pizza, though he jumped between jobs a lot.

Matthew’s 20’s were challenging, but his personal growth was astonishing. He became insightful and developed a more serious side, but his sarcastic wit didn’t go anywhere.

In 2026, Matthew and Dakota got married.
Times weren’t always easy, and far from it, sometimes, but they were both doing better.
They adopted two rats named Petra and Petal, and lived a quiet, humble life. Eventually, they saved up enough to buy their own house.
When Sylvi and Martha broke up, Martha went through a rough patch. Matthew offered all of his support. Martha had done so much for him - so much for so many people. It was the least he could do to be there for her.

In 2031, Dakota gave birth to Chloe Navarro, a child that she and Matthew had via a donor. Chloe grew up close friends with Seth London, Addison and Kai’s son, who was born the same year.
Matthew, a few years after this, played a string of highly successful reunion shows with Kai, Julian, and Addison. They were, hands down, the best shows he’d ever played, sober, engaging with the adoring crowd, and surrounded by some of his favourite people.

It would be dishonest to say the rest of his life passed without turbulence. Many, many years later, he took the death of his mum very badly, and even before this, Matthew felt like his path through recovery and life was a never ending tightrope walk.
It’s good, then, that Matthew received enough support and happiness from his loved ones that no amount of hardship could make it so that life was not worth living.

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