Dr. Hans Sans Panzer

ℹ️ Basic Info

• Dr. Hans Sans Panzer is history’s most brilliant mind. A lot of modern inventions can be traced back to his influence decades earlier. He invented the machine that allows for instant teleportation. 
• Dr. Hans Sans Panzer would convince or manipulate others to test his experiments. Many people have been hurt physically and mentally by the doctor’s ideas. They often kept quiet due to Dr. Hans Sans Panzer’s enormous clout in the scientific world.  
• He is the only cartoon character who cannot pull objects from behind his back. He is INCREDIBLY bitter about this and was driven mad trying to  make sense of cartoon physics.
• His slug body is too slow, so he zips around using a jetpack for transportation.
• Dr. Hans Sans Panzer was a former Senior Agent in the Ella Pawman Squad. He worked alongside Ella Pawman and Madison Waltz. His prolific accomplishments once put him on the path to become Ella’s successor. He prepared to inherit complete executive control of her organization… until the catastrophic failure of his  “Deus Ex Machina” project. 
• Dr. Hans Sans Panzer’s Deus Ex Machina project caused the infamous “Sillycon Valley Incident” which took himself, other agents and the Ella Pawman Squad down with it. 
• Dr. Hans Sans Panzer is presumed dead, but has been hiding in a secret underwater laboratory for 15 years. He recruits his loyal lackey Beeball during this time. 
• Once Dr. Hans Sans Panzer learns that Jaycee Pawman is Ella’s new heiress, he schemes ways to take the organization from her, or take her life instead.

🎭 Personality

His ego is enormous from years of scientific accomplishments! Dr. Hans Sans Panzer is incredibly talented in all manners of mad science including chemistry, biology, technology and especially physics. He throws all his efforts into any idea, invention or project until his vision is realized. 

In a world of ridiculous cartoon logic, Dr. Hans Sans Panzer remains incredibly logical. He has a hard time believing anything happens by random chance, karma, magic, accident, or “if it’s funny”. He’s constantly analyzing past scenarios and happenstances. 

Dr. Hans Sans Panzer is the smartest living being in the Tooniverse. Through years of research, he is ALMOST smart enough to realize that he’s a fictional character with no free will, existing in a fictional universe that is created and controlled by a single entity.

Despite being a slug, he really hates being slow, lazy and relaxed. He crafted a personal jetpack to get around and is always zipping around working on things.

🧬 Biology

Dr. Hans Sans Panzer has biological traits of both earthworms and slugs. He is intersex because both earthworms and slugs have hermaphroditism. Dr. HSP has a different, feminine voice that he can switch to with ease. 

Like both earthworms and slugs, Dr. Hans Sans Panzer is extremely sensitive to salt because it burns him, and he avoids it whenever possible. When not using his jet pack, he slowly slithers and crawls around, leaving a slimy trail. He has a soft, squishy body with no bones. However, his hands feel unusually stiff and sturdy. He can slowly regenerate severed pieces of his body, except for his hands. 

Despite living in the Tooniverse, Dr. Hans Sans Panzer finds it IMPOSSIBLE to use his “Backspace” (the common Tooniverse ability to pull objects from behind one’s back). He is the most intelligent, logical being alive… which completely disables this nonsensical ability. He finds this trait utterly baffling, and spends years of his life researching the mechanics of Backspace and other cartoon physics. 

Dr. Hans Sans Panzer suffers from chronic insomnia. His mind is constantly buzzing with thoughts and it’s very difficult for him to relax. 

Dr. Hans Sans Panzer was originally a light-green colour. He has since lost most of his colour (except on his eyes and tongue) due to the aftermath of the “Sillycon Valley Incident”

🔍 History 

Dr. Hans Sans Panzer grew up as a genius child prodigy in Germany. He moved to Ashgrave, Canada in his college years to attend the world-renowned University of Mad Science. For years, he was celebrated as the university’s most accomplished alumni. 

After graduating, Dr. Hans Sans Panzer moved to Sillycon Valley, USA and was inducted as an agent of the Ella Pawman Squad. He worked with Ella Pawman and Madison Waltz as part of a famous all-star team. 

At the time, the Ella Pawman Squad was also a hub of scientific innovation. Dr. Hans Sans Panzer had free reign to any type of experimental research, technology, medicine, and biological engineering. Dr. HSP used his clout to obtain funding and employees for his projects. However, Dr. HSP would never test any of his experiments himself. Through convincing or trickery, he would subject others to his experiments… with mixed results. A handful of individuals had their lives permanently altered by his work. 

Dr. Hans Sans Panzer’s biggest claim to fame was the invention of the “Tele-Portal”, a doorframe-shaped instant matter teleporter. This was achieved through years of his physics research, and correctly identifying that the Tooniverse has no Z-axis. The Tele-Portal is only used by Ella Pawman Squad agents for assignments, and is not available for other business or public purposes. If this technology became widely accessible, Dr. HSP would have been very, very rich and famous from the patent.

After his biggest scientific accomplishment, Dr. Hans Sans Panzer starts a new project on an invention called the “Deus Ex Machina”. This is a portable “black hole” backpack that could instantly manifest any object the wearer desires. This would be an improvement over the Tooniverse’s “Backspace” ability, as objects pulled from Backspace are mostly inconsistent, dangerous, and dependent on “what’s funny” to the audience outside the fourth wall (that’s us!). Ella Pawman objects to this invention and pulls funding, but Dr. Hans Sans Panzer works on it in secret with the help of fame-chasing employees. Ella makes plans to leave the Ella Pawman Squad organization in Dr. HSP’s hands, unaware of his secret project. 

Dr. Hans Sans Panzer completes a prototype of the Deus Ex Machina. Shortly before the invention’s testing phrase, Ella finds out about the project, and all the employees who kept it secret. Ella has no other successor planned, so she issues Dr. Hans Sans Panzer an ultimatum: If he tests the invention himself, in front of an audience, AND it’s successful, he would inherit Ella’s organization. Failure to comply would result in immediate dismissal of Dr. Hans Sans Panzer and everyone involved with the project. 

On one fateful day, many employees gather to watch the first test of the Deus Ex Machina. Dr. Hans Sans Panzer tries to manifest an object, but the experiment goes horribly wrong… reality-breaking levels of wrong, with many losing their lives. The landscape of Sillycon Valley was changed forever, and the deadly consequences are still a threat even in the present. The day lived on in infamy as the “Sillycon Valley Incident”. Dr. Hans Sans Panzer had not been seen since that day, and was presumed dead by the public. 

For the past 17 years, Dr. Hans Sans Panzer tinkered in isolation in a secret underwater laboratory located near Australia. He met his lackey Beeball, and has shady business relationships with others under the pseudonym “Mr. Randy M. Fakename”. Dr. Hans Sans Panzer starts a business relationship with Diana Diamondhart - giving her illegal monthly anti-aging Colourgen treatments in exchange for her money. 

Dr. Hans Sans Panzer has a hidden Tele-Portal in the laboratory, allowing him to access the surface world for resources. One day, to his horror, Dr. Hans Sans Panzer discovers Jaycee Pawman in a newspaper. Not only is the Ella Pawman Squad still operating, but it was passed down to Jaycee instead of him! Dr. HSP is now focused on taking the organization from her, or failing that, taking her life.

😎 Extra Cool Facts

Dr. Hans Sans Panzer is fluently bilingual in German and English. 

Dr. Hans Sans Panzer was almost a protagonist character in my webcomic! Watch this authour commentary video for more information! 

He is named after German botanist and entomologist "Georg Wolfgang Franz Panzer". The "Hans Sans" part of his name refers to the aftermath of the Sillycon Valley Incident. I also have no idea how to pronounce his name! Is it "Hans" or "Hawns"? "Sans" or "Sawns"? "Panzer" or "Pawnzer"? Who knows!

🎉 Extra Fun Stuff

• View the "#Dr. Hans Sans Panzer" tag on Tumblr!
• Attack Dr. Hans Sans Panzer on ArtFight!
• Follow Dr. Hans Sans Panzer's Miitopia adventures on Twitter or Tumblr!
• Where would you rank Dr. Hans Sans Panzer on the Tooniverse Tier List?
• Ask Dr. Hans Sans Panzer anything! Leave your thoughts (or your character's thoughts) on this page! Have fun!!!