(whew, uh. got a little long skgsjhgjks. anyway i love him ok)
Ah, what a god to encounter on this fine day... Caelestis wasn't fearful—though seldomly did he find much reason to be in even the worst of situations, so that didn't really actually mean all that much—merely, it was an odd feeling. The man's ego irritated him, as did his pointless cruelty frustrate him. It wasn't easy for him to find things to dislike in someone, but those who look down on others, seeing mortals below in an inferior, insensitive view, made things… difficult. A twisting mix within his stomach of detestment, slight vexation, and that ever frustrating sense of familiarity at it all.
It wasn't at all an enjoyable thought to ponder on, but the worst part was, the fact that he hadn't actually been all that different once. Mateus showed many clear differences as well to his past self, without so many clear signs to be made of that childish naivety and wonder that had been the bud to many of his own egotistical whims back then, but it all still held a vague similarity to the rogue celestial. A similarity that he wanted nothing but to cast aside entirely in shame. He wondered, silently, that if not for the unrelenting joyousness he'd always felt of love and life, he would have become someone like that.
Ignoring the faint shivers through his spine at the thought, Caelestis folded his arms leisurely, at last leaving the contemplation of his thoughts for a more conversational air. "The mighty Emperor, is it?" With a casual tone, there naturally wasn't a great deal of reverence or respect, nor intimidation reflected in the otherwise grandiose address. "Forgive my impudence, of course," he said, "but I've simply known my fair share of gods, you see. Although, you in particular are... quite something I suppose. Too self-centered, too callous, even compared to many of the most malicious of them." And himself. It was almost comforting knowing that there were at least those even more careless than him out there, but it also didn't really feel all too great at the same time. Naturally.
"I understand the will to live life to its fullest, but the manner of which one goes about it does matter a great deal as well." He shrugged his shoulders slightly. "Although at the same time," he added, a hand at his chin in thought, "at least your whims give me something to do with my time as well, I suppose. You enjoy hurting people, and I happen to enjoy helping them. It cycles back around in a manner I suppose, no? I would say your lightheartedness with it all is almost a bit endearing, but... I'm not most certain how long that impression may be able to last nonetheless." The sort of person that was almost difficult to genuinely dislike until directly witnessing the sorts of atrocities they were known to commit with glee.
He went quiet for a bit. "More than anything, it just seems a bit too lonely of a way to think—to live—I feel like. I suppose you wouldn't think that, of course, but it's merely a bit sad to think of just how much you're missing out on." Caelestis chuckled at himself quietly. At best, it would probably just be irritating to hear. "I mean not to ramble, though, and I know you likely aren't someone who cares much about what others think. And fortunately, I don't really care all too much either way, so long as no one I care about ends up wound into your path of harm. Then we might have a bit of a problem." It wasn't his job to judge how other's lived their life anyway, although the ceaseless carnage following closely in Mateus' tracks was… not exactly ideal still. He didn't quite want to not care, so it was a bit distressing regardless.
But personal grievances at the difficult reminders of himself aside, Caelestis only actually felt mild dislike Mateus for the moment, though. Easily subject to change as it was, for now, he merely felt a faint desire to keep a comfortable distance from the man once this encounter was done with. Unrealistic as it may be considering the convenient contrasts of their paths.
ungodly sobs and screeches ahoy
Now that he'd seen NV again—mere glimpse of them as it was—it was difficult to get them off his mind at all. Even with Nikolai's words before, to allow himself to hope too liberally felt risky still. So easily could it slip through his grasp yet again, it was frustrating to admit, but he was… afraid. The idea alone had made for a great comfort that lightened undeniably at the weight of his heart, but still... he wondered, would it really all be able to work out…? To free them of Envy was more than he could ever think to ask for, and he was determined to help them to do so however he could, but whatever was to be made of things afterwards wasn't his to decide. Nor should it be.
Letting out a quiet sigh, Caelestis finally made his stop in front of a tree. It was a far greener area than most of the city in regards to summertime, but the few leaves remaining now were colored a greyish brown, leaving only a few weak beams of sunlight to continue through unhindered. Nevertheless, it was peacefully secluded enough to allow for a further level of clarity to his thoughts. Even the cold gusts of wind that would occasionally whistle by were a comfort of their own.
Caelestis closed his eyes. A gentle breath in, and an ever still familiar voice sounded from behind him.
He whipped around. The wind picked up hurriedly, as did his heartbeat. "NV?" He voiced breathlessly. The last person he'd have expected to see, yet here they were. Face to face, their gaze meeting his own with little ambiguity to be made. Caelestis gazed back silently. A million thoughts, a million words passed through his mind, yet none could make it through his mouth. They missed him, he repeated to himself. They didn't seem someone to move on so quickly, so easily, but it still squeezed at his heart all the same. Was it alright to feel happy at that? No matter why it was that they had approached him, he… wasn't sure he could help it.
As Caelestis slowly adjusted to the reality of their presence, NV continued on. Slight confusion was what he felt briefly at first, but it didn't take long to realise that they must have been referring to Nikolai. Though the man had never specified as far as he could recall, it added up, after all. Noticing the insecurity in their voice, he nodded earnestly, reaching instinctively to grasp their hand in the process, although stopping midway. "I do, dearly." It was an understatement, if anything. And though his heart sunk just slightly as they spoke up again, Caelestis listened eagerly still, desperate for certainty on the direction this was taking. For what reason NV had approached him again after everything.
Even now, they only spoke of their wrongs, when there were so many that were no one's fault but his own. It wasn't fair to them. He wanted to say that no, he wasn't so confident. That if there was no choice but to be apart, he didn't want it to be for a fear like that. It was only his own inconsiderate greed that had been the worst of it. But to speak felt an interruption to what they were working to convey, and neither did those words leave the celestial's mouth either.
It didn't seem like NV was done, but for a moment, it wasn't clear whether they would finish. Caelestis looked at them uncertainly. Should he say something after all? What would be best? But the uncertain ponderings were cut short when they spoke again, seemingly having regained the willpower that had been loosening in their grip a moment earlier.
He couldn't quite manage to hold back the rising of his spirits as he listened on to the feelings expressed. The reasons for their parting last still felt a concern, but it didn't seem right to worry about right now. In realisation of what the Sin was intending, Caelestis' feet took him a step closer. "NV, you…" He trailed off, and swallowed. They... were really going to? Both anxious and eager as he felt at the concept already, with the noticeable shakiness of their movements, it hurt to see them so clearly struggling with it. But if this was largely why they'd come to him, they'd likely already made up their mind on it, and he had to trust in them—in their strength. Was there anything he could do but wait? The suspense grew further as the layers of wraps around NV's face lessened bit by bit. He wanted to comfort them somehow.
And before he knew it, there they were.
For a moment, Caelestis only stared. The reveal had been a gradual one, yes, but heavens did he feel no less breathless even then. To think... he thought, that today was the day he would experience this reality. It felt like a dream, if he'd ever known one. This moment to take in the sight that was before him. Of who they were, of the sight of their smile.
It was... dazzling.
As a final blow to it all, 'I love you,' he heard next. Saw, even. It was the first time he'd heard it from them, but ah, he... couldn't quite say he would ever have wanted it any other way, actually. Tears at last welled up in Caelestis' eyes, but he gazed at NV through them with a smile of his own, until he could only blink repeatedly in attempt to clear up his vision. After all this, to miss out on it all for only the fact that his tears overwhelmed the view…! Caelestis chuckled slightly within his heart at the unexpected predicament.
Looking at them again properly, he reached towards their face, delicately. His hand caressed along the side; down their forehead, past their eyes, until resting at their cheek. The sight of their features, feeling the natural texture of their skin, it was unfeasible to imagine any more blissful moment. He hoped it was for them as well.
"Thank you," he murmured softly, the warmth reflected unclouded through his smile and tone. Ah, how many times must I fall in love with you?
Caelestis took one last step closer, and after a brief questioning gaze into NV's eyes, he closed the remaining distance to kiss them. Just… a bit. Tenderly, delicately. In an undeniable indulgence of his own desires, but to also quietly convey the immeasurable, overwhelming love it was that he felt for them. Or perhaps he only just really wanted to. But regardless of the motive, he hoped... it could be a better one this time.
Though there were issues still to be addressed and hurdles to overcome, for this current, singular present, none of it had to matter. To only cherish this moment he had. Fleeting as it may be—if only—he wished nonetheless, that it could last yet forever.
