Funnel Cake's Links
"My biggest little brother, the eldest right after me. Adore that lanky bastard to caramel bits, I do!"
-Funnel butt heads with Coaster when they first arrived at the Cake house, unused to being around so many people and finding Coaster annoying with his antics that the others seemed to love. After they eventually found their place in the routine and in this family, Funnel softened towards Coaster and found the humor that everyone else did in the strange (affectionate) things he would do. Funnel greatly enjoys being around Coaster and likes to listen to and watch him work, finding the process intriguing and will sometimes take notes for their own projects. Funnel will even sometimes organize shows at the circus that specifically blacklit so Coaster can see them.
"Ah, my little big brother! I try to catch any neon-lit shows, and he's one of the coolest folks I know!"
"Popstar, my little buddy, my second-in-command! Love this kid with everything I have, though I wish the circumstances of our friendship hadn't been the way they were...."
-Funnel actually isn't as fond of Poppy as they seem, but that's not to say they don't like him or secretly hate him. As compensation for what they did to him, Funnel lets Poppy exploit their bank account and their violent tendencies for protection from whatever situations he gets himself into. They seem to be relatively indifferent towards whatever he does with their money and time, but they have laid into him about certain things.
"Funnel is my boss!! Adore this daft fuckin' bloke nowadays, after they cleaned up their act and started making efforts to get themself together. I'm supposed to take over as the ringleader when they retire and I know that's not for a long time, but I don't think I'm ready yet...."
-Poppy likes Funnel more than Funnel likes him, but that's not saying much. While Poppy is excited and happy to take advantage of Funnel at their own offer of the opportunity, Poppy does genuinely admire and respect the person The Ringmaster has turned into these days and is very happy to work at the Crackerjack Circus. He thinks Funnel is very admirable in their efforts to change, but is wary of letting them know that lest their new dynamic possibly shift.
"Ah..." *ahem* "Well, Song Bird is certainly a very... passionate guy. I like her! I like him, please don't get me wrong, I like them and I enjoy being around her, he's just... a bit much sometimes, even for me."
-Funnel definitely enjoys Song Bird's company, but is EXTREMELY wary of him. Not only does Song Bird have a power that is almost on par with their own magic, she also recognized them as The Ringmaster from one simple interaction in their past over two decades ago that Funnel had written off as insignificant. Despite the initial distrust on Funnels part, the two of them are friends and Funnel would VERY much prefer to stay on SB's good side. They've seen what he can do to the people that piss her off...
"Ah~! Querido, but at this point, that nickname is just a little thing that stuck from the beginning of our relationship. My- uh -infatuation with Funnel has waned a lot, so them and I are just friends! There are other folks that have their eye on them anyway, hehehe~"
-Having originally met Funnel as The Ringmaster after he got dragged off into the woods as a prank from the other Witch Cookies, Song Bird was interested in him- like one would be a bug under a microscope -and fearlessly lead him back to The Kitchen. Years later, SB befriends Poppy, Poppy tells and takes her to his job, and the pieces just fall into place on their own. Song Bird enjoys bothering Funnel because he thinks their reactions are funny, but also just genuinely enjoys being around the carnie and considers them a friend.
"Well, well, well, the dance routine queen Pirouline! I look up to her so much- both literally and figuratively! She's the most talented person I know and that is no understatement. I was floored when she came to work here, but I shook the stars out of my eyes to have a proper friendship with her."
-Funnel had a crush on Pirouline, but after getting rejected because she doesn't date her coworkers, they let it drop and tried instead to be a good friend to her. They still struggle with being starstruck towards her, even after all these years, but view her as someone that they can come to with their problems and most commonly put her in charge of the circus if they aren't around. They made a promise to her when she first applied that they would always catch her if she would fall and has yet to break it after all this time.
"Mixter Cake! Them and I are very good friends, even with their little crush on me, hmhm~! They look up to me, I know, but they're an inspiration themself. I'm going to retire before them more than likely- I've been in this business a long time -but they're going to go far, that one."
-Pirouline has put more trust into Funnel than she has anyone in the last couple of decades. Applying to work at the circus was originally some lost, last ditch effort to reclaim herself and who she used to be, but nowadays, it's the most fun she's ever had and the safest she's felt in forever. She's cool and calm and collected about it all, but she wants to give Funnel the world in return for what they've done for her and can't wait to watch them and everyone else grow as performers after she leaves one day.
"Ah yes, the detective! He's a crotchety old BASTARD and I'd fight him for free without being asked, but he's still one of my best mates, that hotheaded fuck."
-If rough starts had a visual, it would be Funnel and Fireball. Originally having met when Fireball was (stupidly) sent to investigate The Witch's Kitchen, The Ringmaster is who scared him off and sent him running. Years down the line, their next meeting was no better, a bloody fight in an alley caused because Poppy had assumed he was being followed by some strange guy and called upon Funnel to protect him. Nowadays, after a lot of magic mishaps that all but forced them to interact with each other, Funnel considers Fireball to be a very close friend and enjoys hanging out with him frequently, often begging him to come perform at the circus, even if it's just for one night.
"Funnel, that fluffy-haired bastard! Can't stand them one bit, heh, which is why they're the one that has to pay for the drinks when we go pub crawlin' together for the night!"
-If rough starts had a visual, it would be Funnel and Fireball. Originally having met when Funnel when he was (stupidly) sent to investigate The Witch's Kitchen, a terrifying creature made up of some mix of fire, lion, and serpent sent him packing and running for his life. Years down the line, their next meeting was no better, a bloody fight in an alley caused because Fireball had recognized a young man he used to protect a few years ago and suddenly found himself scraping with Funnel out of nowhere. Nowadays, after a lot of magic mishaps that all but forced them to interact with each other, Fireball thinks of Funnel as a good friend who needs someone who needs a lot of work as a person, but he loves them still.
"Little Miss Biscuit! I used to have to bail her out of trouble, whether she meant to cause it or not and, honestly, sometimes I STILL do given that she causes it in a clown car with MY LOGO ON IT, but I love her."
-There isn't much to be said, Funnel loves Dog Biscuit to actual pieces, they're partners in stupid, stupid crime. They're the ones that can be most commonly seen together in public, hanging out and going on little platonic dates every now and again. Funnel has had to bail Dog Biscuit out of a holding cell more than once and never loves her any less for it.
"Good ol' 'Mixter Crackerjack,' hahaha!! The folk is like one of those guys who takes ya lunch money and gives ya a noogie, but nobody'll ever bother ya so long as they're around, you can believe that! Fun' gave me a job and a family here at the circus when I had nothin' else and I'll always love them for it."
-Dog Biscuit would kill for Funnel ("Please ask me to kill for you."/"No, Deebs."). She considers them to be one of her bestest friends and when you're a dog, that's a pretty high honor to give out. She loves going out with them and dragging them into whatever she's doing, even if it's dumb and she knows they'll hate it. Because she knows they'll love it just because it was time spent with her.
"Without a doubt in my mind, Roasted is one of my best friends. The guy is a BROTHER to me, got adopted into my family after all we went through. Our initial meeting was a bit...unorthodox, he came to me injured and panicked and needing any help he could get and I gave him all the help I could give. He stayed with me and my brothers for a year or two, recovering and becoming his own man, until he moved out to a place of his own. He still works at the circus, he's the prima ballerino!"
-Funnel is endlessly protective of Roasted, considering his past, but with being his older sibling, they also jump at any chance to embarrass him a little. There's no greater amusement to Funnel than watching Roasted turn pink because they brought up something silly he did a while back whenever Roasted is talking to someone.
"Fun.nel. Cake. is. a. sib.ling. to. me, more. than. a. best. friend. They. took. me. in. when. I. was. terr.i.fied. and. NEED.ED. to. be. res.cued. from. the. si.tu.a.tion. I. was. in, let. me. in.to. their. home. with. their. bro.thers, and. helped. me. be.come. ME. The. folk. is. a. bas.tard, as. most. ol.der. sib.lings. are, but. I. hold. them. ver.y. dear. to. me."
-Roasted loves Funnel more than he could ever put into words, he'll never deny that, but with that love comes the never-ending, Cain Instinct urge to bother the shit out of them. The amount of times Roasted has deliberately run at Funnel to get them to catch him in their arms and made them shatter a mug on the ground to do so is off the charts.
"Oh um... Mr. Jambalaya is an interesting man, to put it in simple terms. He seems to think we have this rivalry? and to some level I entertain it, but for the most part, him and I are good friends. We go out for drinks together often enough for it to be in magazines, but the way they phrase our little outings make it seem like there's more to them than it seems..."
-Funnel has a crush on Jambalaya, that's the tweet.
"Poofy-haired varmint... They thinks they're SUCH a hot shot cuz they built that circus aaaaall by themself- fuckin' showoff. 'Award-winning smile' n' 'eyes full'a wonder,' that's what they all say about them, rantin' and ravin' about them good looks of theirs. They're lucky they're good company to a shot of whiskey or else Ah'd have fought the bastard by now."
"Mr. Skittles! I have so much respect for him, even if he is a bit more rude than I expected when I had first heard about him. He's grouchy, but he's ours- all six of him!"
"Ah yeah, Cupcakes. The kid is good at what they do, I'll happily give them that, and this place really as spectacular as all the papers say it is thanks to them and everyone here. ....What? You expectin' a 'but' or something, twerp?"
"Ah, Funnel Cake- a valuable member of the Cake family and incredibly brave. Carrying on with the improvements to themself they've made, embracing the life they want to lead- working with criminals and ne'er do wells though I do... it puts a smile on my face to see them embrace their want to do good so thoroughly. Even if I worry for them sometimes...."
"Listen, I love Chili to death and back, but if he comes onto my grounds and scares the piss out of my performers one more time, I'm gonna turn him into coffee grounds."
-They're joking, Funnel loves when Chili comes around and gets a kick of their own out of the little bit of panic and fear he brings with him whenever he visits. They're endlessly proud and supportive of him and his endeavors outside The Kitchen, knowing first hand that it's no easy feat to break away and that's coming from someone who got away physically unscathed. If Chili needs them, they'll be there, and Funnel knows he'd do the same for them.
"HEHEHEHEH! Funnel's a time an' a half! They were the first one I went to when I was thinkin' about Runnin' Away- an' their Circus is the BEST place to haunt when I'm feelin' like some nice low-stakes scarin'! I help where I can too, a'course- I like comin' in at midnight an' exercisin' any'a the horses that need it- an' if they EVER need anythin' from me, I'll always be happy to do it! After all the help they gave me when I needed it, it's the least I can do."
"Rosé is someone that I love working with; Not only are they extremely talented with their artistic ability, but he's also just generally enjoyable to be around. She's yet to provide me with an experience I'm disappointed with and I'm confident that they never will! It's always nice to hang out with them... except for when his cat is around. I don't think I have ever been on worse terms with a living creature."
-Like they said, Rosé is one of Funnels favorite people to work with! They teeter between seeing the relationship between them as a genuine friendship or just, like, Business Partners That Like Each Other, but this is because they're afraid of overstepping a boundary (and they're too nervous to just ask if the two of them are friends). Funnel trusts Rosé and is grateful for the faith he seems to have in return towards them, but certain hang-ups are hard to still hard to shake...
"I did a bit of graphic design work for the Crackerjack Circus, specifically in advertisements and posters! I appreciate the opportunities they've given me. ...Mixter Funnel Cake is a good cookie, despite their own reservations."
"I'll see you in Hell, glass boy."
-Funnel likes Sugar Glass, considers him to be a very good friend and wonderful business partner to work with! But since he's dating Funnelcoaster, it's now become Funnels job to (jokingly) put Sugar on the gallows every now and again over it.