AstroPhysx's Links
"It's so great to be here, Ted! Wow, so you're really the boss of that VPN team huh? You must be like, a gazillionaire or something! Although I will say the catering back there could've been better I mean, really? Chicken salad sandwiches and Pop Chips?? At least get some buffalo wings or maybe some Chinese if you're gonna cater for guests something savory yanno? Sorry, it's just that I'm on this new diet and it SUUUUCKS God I f***ng miss making myself some poutine at 3 in the morning. Wait, am I allowed to curse? That's gonna be censored out right? Oh God I did it again. Director Wayne is gonna blow a gasket when she finds out. Have you met her before? Yanno, tall lady? A little on the old side? Robotic arm? Has a scar over her lip? Big fan of your show? Smokes a cigarette every time she gets stressed? Yanno, I kinda noticed she always has one out whenever I'm around, I wonder why..." *Keeps blabbing about the most random shit until commercial break time, Ted not able to get a single word in*
"Welcome back to Ted Talks! Our late night talk show where we hold special interviews for YOUUUUUU!! and tonight dear guests, we have Kimberly! So glad to have you! Don't worry about the walls, we busts them down all the time!"
"Wow! Mr. Ted E. Vizion! Wow! Director Wayne always watches your show during her workouts. She keeps saying it's to 'keep an eye on the VPN' but I think she's secretly a fan of the show. You look taller on TV..."
"Is that so? Well be sure to give her my special thanks! All the viewers like her are just as appreciated no matter the intent!.... and yes, I get that all the time.."
"I don't know how the hell you keep finding me, but for the last time I am NOT interested in joining your goddamn VPN team. Those blowhards need more training and discipline than I could ever have the patience to give them."
"CMON! MISS! I CAN MAKE IT WORTH WHILE!! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET SOME VIGILANTE ON THE STREET THAT DOESN'T SELL DRUGS AND HOLD A CRIMINAL OFFENSE AT NIGHT!"
"Well, I suppose a little bit of mentorship for your team wouldn't be a bad idea...I'll run this with Director Wayne. But I have a feeling she'll say yes...for some reason she's really into your show but I swear that woman's in denial."
"EXCELLENT! Just need you to run these papers over with the big boss and we'll be on our way! I promise I won't make you regret this! And remember to keep in touch!! And don't be afraid calling us from 1-800—" *his grin grows wider, his pearly white teeth now becoming a screen to advertise their hotline number*
"Shocker, man dressed up in a shoddy homemade suit while going on long tangents about not getting the respect and recognition he deserves would end up being a nut job." *Sarcastic eye roll*
"Listen. If I knew that James Ward guy would turn out to be such a kook..."
"I WOULDA KICKED HIM OUT SOONER!! ARE YA KIDDING?! That's like a PR nightmare! A lawsuit waitin to happen! Would have cost the studio thousands! Sheesh..."
"I'm guessing the old lady chewed you out for that stunt the VPN did with Kimmy huh? Hey, at least I thought it was hilarious!"
"Heyyy, nothing a lil check can't fix... I hope... At least you guys and VPN got everyone covered! Speaking of which... Blitz. Can I call you Blitz? How would you like to star in a show?"
"Mr. Vizion! 哇!! My grandfather always watched your reruns while we were closing up the restaurant! You look so young!"
"Haha! Well thank you kindly— ..... Reruns?.. I don't remember reruns... Did.... Did I...???"
"Thy proclamations art rath'r...strange. I at each moment has't immense difficulty und'rstanding half of the w'rds thee useth in these decrees thee bid to the w'rld, and I has't did study the english language th'roughly!"
"....."
"Uhuh... Say! What if I give you a lil pamphlet or three! On the house! Just a lil readin for.... No reason!"
"Arktika told me your team would be filled with amateurs but good gracious...I might need more than one month for this, Mr. Vizion. I don't care what the network says about budgets or ratings, you want these boys trained quick or trained well?"
"Believe it or not, these are really the best I got here! Of course there's always the ones that want to be a big shot but who doesn't have those? Look! I'm just asking for a lil training, if they can kick ass and look good at the end I'll take that!"
"Your channel is so clickbait man, c'mon do better..."
"HEYYYYYY Son. I don't really like those words, as well as dishonest, hack, liar, etcetera etcetera. And besides... Not my fault people keep clicking on my channels. Now why don't you go buy some Glory Hound action figure and run off.... Or I make mama bird look reaaaal bad to thousand if not millions of people!" *grinning wide and confidently*
"I must congratulate you, Mr. Vizion, on being one of the most popular foreign shows on Korean television. Truly, it is not an easy achievement..." *Bows in respect*
"Well I certainly try my best! And keep an eye out folks! Cause VPN are in talks about expansion over seas thanks to to our many sponsors! Now I hate to leave but I got someone waiting in the office (and she ain't no angel, I'd tell you that much)"
*que laugh sound effect*
"Is it too late to get your money back?"
"We don't got them Jujitsu Geiser or those other fancy cartoons... But we did got our hands on a deal from Japan! And I tell ya, once it goes live people are gonna love it!"
*sliding in the tape, the screen plays a choppy animation and still frames of two drawn animals. Narrated by a single man with word play and metaphors that only works in Japanese*
"So uh...is there like, an age limit on who can join the VPN?" *Eager grin*
"Well.... We do need a legal guardian when doing these kind of deals.. Sorry kid, maybe bring your parents here and mmmmaybe we start with an interview."
"The surf episode was so wack man. Totally uncool what they did with the sea life over there man. I had to give a lotta my ocean dudes therapy sessions after that episode!"
"H-Hah hah!... You and the many other animal eco conservative... Sheesh... I assure you! We cut all ties with Hudson Miller after the mutant incident! AAND given donations to the respective charities and organizations!"
"You know EXACTLY what I'm here for, Theodore. Official RRU patrols are NOT something you can integrate into your mindless game shows. I do NOT want your VPN team to ever fraternize or cooperate with ANY of the RRU units we have operating. For Christ's sakes, I already have a hard enough time getting NOMAD under control without you holding some insipid 'Slap Contest' involving Invinci-Girl. They nearly leveled the entire city block from the shockwave alone!"
"MS. WAYNE!!! What a honor to have you visit here of all places! If you had given a call I would've given this place a lil spit shine myself! Now what do I owe the honor to?"
"If I say yes to your damn interview, will you finally stop bothering me about it? I swear, you're almost as clingy as my ex from high school..."
"Of course! Of course! Feel free to being your entire family! Extended family! Friends! Co-workers! I'll accommodate rooms for everyone as well as free passes to our all you can eat buffet!!! Keep your contacts open, Ms Ramos!"
"Mmm...a reality show huh? As tempting as that is darling, I think Hollywood and the mainstream audience have made their feelings clear on seeing me in the spotlight. Besides, why would we sue that bastard when we can have so much bloody fun humiliating him over and over again?"
"... Three celebrities, all of who believed were wronged by this Nathan Zimmer fellow, and believed the appropriate course of action was to turn to villainy?..."
"IF THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE FRONT PAGE NEWS THEN PULL MY CORDS!!! THIS IS A STORY! THE HEARTBREAK! A TEAR JERKER!! OHH THE DRAMA!!! Was getting kinda stale here but baby! I'll give ya all ya need! Lawyers! A case! HELL!!! I'll give ya your own reality show in my studio!"
"Really?? Your own wrestling promotion filled with other super powered wrestlers?! Fuck yeah, count me in!"
"Hm?... Oh- oh yes! Glad you noticed! We were opening up a sports show here, got a lot of requests from strength-based wannabe stars and... Hey! Yknow if you'd like a spot, we'd be happy to have ya at our first showing here! I can promise you... It'll be one unforgettable night!"
"So you're the one SPAMMING my feed with a TON of your VPN ads! You realize you've practically become a meme on TikTok now??" *Begins to scroll through memes made of his ads angrily and gives him the upset brat look*
"H-Hey! That's just show biz!... Plus, I paid for these and might as well make the use of it. And from what I can tell... It's certainly working? But hey, don't be too upset. I promise I'll give ya a great boost of views if you come on to my late night talk show!"
"So you run a superhero team? That's what my mom does too! Though it's less of a team and more of an...entire government branch....but it's similar!"
"I'm also head of the Department of Superhuman Affairs. I wouldn't be surprised if I've met her before..."
"Chairwoman Slay has asked me to be present at this incident, with the additional note of wondering...'if you'll be coming to Diego's 16 birthday'?"
"Is this some kind of practical joke??"
"And that is why I think I'd be a great asset to your superhuman division! My technological skills will sure to be of extreme use-oop the grapple hook kinda fell apart there."
"Son...maybe you should consider a different line of work. Preferably something that doesn't involve using any machinery?"
"Well I uh, s-sure I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try! Though it's not gonna be infront of a lot of people right? Just wondering..."
"I wonder...does your power work with extraterrestrial beings? I have someone from the planet Tryumf in the Paragons. Could be an interesting thing to test out someday?" *Hands her a card*
"Director Wayne, what up my dawg, I have the incident report here for the further processing of human bureaucracy. Go get it girl, you da man."
"And I thought listening to Daxx talk about a movie he watched was ear grating..."
"While I appreciate the assistance from your organization, I'm afraid it won't be needed. Nothing personal, I'd just rather not gain more anger from the upper management for taking handouts from our American neighbors, again."
"Assistance? Handouts? Pow Girl came in and bailed our asses out! How about you let me talk to your upper management about the appreciation they owe us?! There's no reason for you to take such bulls***, Captain."