Licorictus's Links
Hello, 911? Yeah, this lady brandished a butt-knife at me and tried to steal my ham sandwich. Can I sue her now or do I have to wait for her to actually commit a crime?
Oops, I thought you were done with it! Sorry!
...Uh, I mean, GIVE ME YOUR LUNCH MEAT, PUNK! Your ham is never safe from meeeee >:3c
this is the worst thing that anyone could ever have done and I will never forgive you
yeah I mixed the m&ms with skittles. die mad about it hoe >:3c
I'm Dipshit Patrol, she's the Pro Shitposter, and with our powers combined we're gonnaaaaaa make a mistake probably
parade doesn't know what she's talking about I have never done anything wrong
ligma balls
This kid. What a fuckin D O R K am I right guys
can you stop calling me "kid" you're literally younger than me
Parade what the fuck are you doing that's not a good idea
Don't worry about it, just something stupid ;3
Ehhh you worry too much -
AH FUCK
IT'S FINE HAHAHA
You're gonna hurt yourself if you keep doing that
No seriously wait -
PARADE NO -
Please stop coming by my house, it scares me when you stand outside and look at me like that...
a living home is always feeding
light can be captured
hunger escapes
Phorcys is, um, well...
They don't, uh, come by often. And they usually don't stay too long when they show up. They kind of freak people out, too.
They haven't given me any trouble, though. They're just a little... eccentric.
trial and triumph are written in scars
marks are always left where something was taken
YOOOOOO MY MAIN MAN JAYYYYYY
...why are you looking at me like that, surely i have never done anything wrong
Uh huh. I haven't forgotten last year's oatmeal incident. You're on thin ice, you troublemaker.
...you're not actually in trouble tho, it was really funny
UGHHGHGH IIIIIII'M MAD
...Eh, it's fine. No point getting mad at a man who's just doing his job, yeah?
Listen Yazz, I know you're a fish, and I know you live for that thrill, but you gotta get out of the water when it's storming too...
...no, it doesn't matter that you can breathe underwater, I'm more worried about you breaking all of your bones
What's up, Hazel? I love your hoodie!
Hello!
((i'd really like to get to know him better but, like, how...??? he's big and scary?? google.com how do i talk to boys))
Hey Frankie! We should grab lunch this Friday!
Hi Jacques!!!
((wait was that too excited?? i think that sounded too excited. oh my god my voice cracked too. uh oh i fucked up i fucked up he probably thinks i'm a big dumb dork now))
Hey YOU
BIGGG HEFFALUMP
...
... will you carry me around on your shoulders for a while
Aw Sanguine, you know you're my favorite hair accessory of all :)
They're a real mess. I gotta pry them out of the house every once in a while so they'll stop spending so much time on Twitter.
You have no leg to stand on! You've spent all your life on Tumblr, you... you, uh, you...
...gimme a minute i'll think of an insult eventually
Dude, Rhodes is an unappreciated genius.
Who also has an eye for drama.
Both things I can respect.
They make good coffee and they compliment my reviews. I think we're best friends.
She can never be allowed in my apartment. She can never know how long it's been since I cleaned the floor in here.
Hell yeah, my wild girlfriend. She should try wearing one of my wigs sometimes.
I should never have made that wretched thing.
HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE
But I just perfected my sleight of hand technique! You're telling me I can't even use it to cheat at the world's most low-stakes game??
You better not be hiding any d-d-dice under the t-table you OUTLAW
I don't really know what I'm doing when it comes to parenting, but I'm glad the kids seem to like me, at least?
Papa!! Some of my friends have four parents too, but MINE are the BEST!