EASTWIND BAKERY
Donuts so good it'll blow your brains right out!
Welcome to Eastwind Bakery! Here's our catalogue of donuts created by a team of passionate people such as bakers, artists, and... oh! We can't tell you our secret!
AVYRIE [18:02]: Obviously, that's a threat to company image. I hope that much is clear. Ashley, are you free to move in?
ASHLEY[18:03]: Should be. I diiiiiiid have something to take care of with Incident-DAYBREAK-022, but unless someone else makes a mistake-- which, I mean I'm not there to supervise and I've got no idea how your taste in people is, so don't be surprised if someone does-- there should be nothing left on my log. What's the big deal?
CATALOGUE: CLASSIC
The tried and true of donutkind. The traditional tastes you'll love.
AVYRIE[18:06]: Typical countermeasures to information breaches. There's been one not too long ago. You know-- Silencers, the spiders-- all that. Do we need to go over the procedure again?
ASHLEY[18:06]: No need, I think I'm a good deal less stupid than you think I am.
CATALOGUE: SPECIAL
AVYRIE[18:06]: Good to hear. How's the spider working, by the way?
What we at Eastwind are known for-- donuts you won't find anywhere else!
ASHLEY[18:06]: Fine. But-- one issue for you and your crew to hack at. You know when the brain wakes up, whatever activity's going on in there far overpowers whatever signals the spider puts out into there? Ain't that the reason they relegated all the abyssals to data storage-- their dark-zone brain stuff's too much for a few shocks to do much anything other than make them turn to face the nearest person once in a while?
AVYRIE[18:06]: Your point exactly, Ashley?
CATALOGUE: CRITTERS
Tasty friends to keep you and your stomach company!
ASHLEY[18:07]: So what do we do about those walking gelatin piles that know far too much? We've seen with the distortion powder they're huffing now that containment can't be an option, and I've explained why the spider isn't either. All it takes is one angry bastard with a veil to blow it.
AVYRIE[18:07]: I'm actually also here to talk about that-- I think we may have ourselves a solution.
[18:07]: Oh?
CATALOGUE: CHARACTERS
No matter what they're made of, they all end up tasting like jelly...
ERHU
| YOU SHOULD PROBABLY KNOW! | FOR THIS TOO! | AND THIS! | I DREW THIS ONE AND IT TURNS OUT I WAS TOO SLOW |
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AVYRIE[18:07]: I'm sure it's no surprise that the lucidity and cognition's causing us the issues. You've explained yourself the more there is going on in one's head, the harder it is to keep them quiet.
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AVYRIE[18:07]: To sum it up, no lucidity, no problem. We've developed a new substance just for that-- we'll even gain a few vessels for employees at that.
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AVYRIE[18:08]: Anyway, won't you say hello to the corrosion pill?
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| OCTOPUS RING- lishu | SOMEWHAT ICONIC DONUT 1- lishu | SOMEWHAT ICONIC DONUT 2- lishu | SOMEWHAT ICONIC DONUT 3- lishu | FAILURE DONUT- kirchhoff
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CATALOGUE: EXTREME
Not for the faint of heart or stomach.
CATALOGUE: EXQUISITE
One-of-a-kind donuts, rarely produced!
Unfortunately, no exquisite donuts are available for display. We're doing you a service though: after seeing them, your stomach's never going to feel satisfied until it gets a piece of these rare, once-in-a-lifetime treats! Please keep an eye out for any exquisite donuts that may pop up for sale, but get your wallet ready 'cause these babies can get as pricey as fifty grand!
ASHLEY[18:10]: What the devil-- DONUT MONEY LAUNDERING? |
While you're free to browse around, unfortunately, we don't take orders online! Please visit your local Eastwind Bakery to pick up a donut today. We know it's inconvenient, but this gives our employees more time to lovingly inspect our website and products to make sure everything is up to date and of the highest quality possible. Thank you and sorry for any inconvenience!
Ready to go to heaven? Check the store location nearest you!
THANK YOU, DEAR PATRON!
All bakers involved in this project have been credited accordingly, and look at where we got our cute wallpaper!
