Xero (short for Xerox, pronounced "Zero") is the comedian of the band; he's a prankster and a joker and he delights in playing around with people. He bartends and works in his dad's bowling alley, and has the benefit of a lifetime's experience on the pool table and card table alike. He will hustle you if you let him, which his friends learned better of long ago. He's easygoing, calm and friendly, but he definitely looks more innocent than he is.

He's a good dude though, funny and casual and quick-witted, and a hopeless romantic. He's the only one in the band who's trying to find Mrs. Right, and he's convinced his true love is out there somewhere. Falls in love easily and, so far, largely inadvisedly.

Izzy calls the shots in the band, but Xero sort of fell into the role of handling the band's business stuff, given he has the best personality for it, a business degree, and a lot of experience dealing with people. He is always cool under pressure and cannot be intimidated.

He lives at home and he's close with his parents and his younger sister Manda, who is in high school and whom he is very proud of. His Spanish is decent and he speaks some Polish, but he's only really fluent in English.

The story behind his nickname is one not fit for his parents to hear...

Xero is average in height and build and has a soft Beatle-y mop of brown hair, and dark blue eyes.

He may need to be buried in his famous green track jacket. He generally dresses comfortably, in layers and sneakers.

Xero is very good at pool and poker and hustling the unaware, though he's not really a swindler and mostly just plays around with people a bit. He can do trick shots, and he's also decent at bowling and arcade games or pinball: he's spent a lot of time in that bowling alley.

He keeps a deck of cards in his pockets and he messes around with them when he's bored (doing tricks, making card castles, just shuffling/playing around with them).

He has an old Polaroid camera he loves and always pesters his bandmates with; he can also draw a bit, and designs the band's t-shirts and logos.

He loves pizza and pierogi and grilled cheese (especially Argentinean provoleta).

He's into stand-up comedy and British humor like Monty Python and Douglas Adams, and he unironically loves Hallmark romance movies.

Xero played little league as a kid and was terrible at it, but he loves baseball and he's a die-hard Mets fan like his father.

Xero's favorite band is the Beatles and his idol is Ringo Starr; he also loves other classic rock of the '60s and '70s like the Doors, the Kinks and Fleetwood Mac, as well as modern indie rock. He prides himself on his vast mp3 collection, likes most kinds of music, and will be the band DJ for road trips. He also loves hip hop, party rock and Latin music, and doesn't care if nobody else in the band does.

He uses a set of Ludwig drums in Oyster Black Pearl wrap, like his hero Ringo. He's neither bad nor a prodigy; he's just a decent drummer.