Mort's Links
"Can you stop doing all those poses man, you're just embarrassing yourself."
"Come on Mort, these poses are necessary for any self respecting hero to perform! Trust me, you'll understand their importance one of these days"
"I wish I did, but I'd rather not have anymore lives lost due to you."
"Oh great, a teenaged brat. Don't you have something better to do? Like listening to your shitty angst music in your room on full blast?"
"You can have it, It's done nothing but be a pain for me."
"One punk to another, that spirit ya got is pretty badass bud."
"I smile plenty! I just do it when nobodies looking..."
"Don't be so grumpy all the time! Try to smile more often! Trust me, it does wonders for your mood!
"Trust me lady, this Thing is not any ordinary ghost."
"I'm not afraid of no ghost, darling. And you won't be stopping our heist today!"
"Huh, hope that doesn't happen to me."
"Yanno, I knew a girl that was a lot like you. Well...before she got forced to become an evil sorceress and all..."
"Will do, I'd rather not be here anyways."
"I don't work with kids often, so stay out of my way chamaco."
"Will keep that in mind, now screw off."
"All those negative vibes man...you gotta like, let it go. Being a hero means ya gotta keep the good vibes flowing!"
"Lucky. I wish this thing stayed only in my head."
"Ahh you've got a guardian angel too? Mine mostly resides in my head."
"I would if I could, but lives are at risk, and I'm not here to fuck around and let them die."
"Bugger off, kid. I'm not here to babysit, this is a serious mission."
"I-I was wondering if you could sign this blu-ray please...it's my favorite film of yours..."
"Ahh another young and adoring fan! Whatcha got for me to sign kid? Or do you want a selfie with yours truly?"
"I-I am going to fucking die...please...no more weights..."
"Come on Morty! You can lift these weights!"
"Listen man, you can just buy Sailor moon at the store it's not like a fuckin crime."
"So...you wouldn't happen to have anymore...dvd's of that one girl who is powered by the moon? It's not like I wanted to watch more or anything."
"Would you mind not hovering above me?"
"Apologies. However it is imperative that I learn all I can about human nature so I may be more equipped for proper human conversation."
"Listen man, I'm fine with you staying at my place and all, but do you have to eat all the Mozzarella sticks?"
"They're filled with cheesy goodness. Once I start I can't just stop."
"Neat magic, now can you explain it in a more coherent manner? i could barely comprehend what you were saying with all that stuttering."
O-oh Im- Im sorry. Im jus- just, ya know not good at uh e-explaining things, ya- ya know? I-ill try to explain it- uh- explain it better this time uh... well... it uh it kinda goes like, well first you- no thats not right- well you uh... ummm...
*this goes on for 20 minutes*
"Dig the vibe man, but can you calm it down? You're making the whole place feel chilly."
“I cannot. Sorry.”
"A Thesaurus. You've told me this fucking joke 15 times now."
"Hey Morty! Tell me mate, whaddya call a Dinosaur with an Extensive Vocabulary? Eh? Eeeeeh?"
"I dunno. Probably something life changing I'll say."
"I don't understand it, two souls that are also one? What has happened here?"
"You can stop trying to teach me martial arts. The spirit can do what you do but better."
"That spirit is one thing, but you can barely protect yourself when it's not near you. You should at least know how to properly throw a punch."
"J-jeez, your real strong huh? And very bright..."
"You're quite strong yourself. I apologize for that too. I can turn it down a notch if you need me to."
"Fine, then take orders from someone who has killed several of these fucking things, go round back and prepare for a God damned FLANK!"
"Listen kid, I'm not taking orders from someone who can't even drive."