Owari-Afterlife logs

Blythe sat in closet her long legs long since lost feeling under her body. She hadn't left in about a week as she barely ate and she had what food she needed. Her fingers numbly tapped at the buttons on her switch. She didn't really remember what game this was but it wasn't good. She just needed todo something to distract her head from those thoughts. Those bad mean thoughts that hurt. As long as she was here no one else would be hurt. She wouldn't hurt anyone else as long as she stayed her and played her switch.

Kane, after climbing inside at Vondila's instruction, had immediately honed in on someone who needed his help as soon as he'd crossed the threshold. Promising the purple mage he'd let her know when he was done for the day, he made his way upstairs and knocked gently on the door to Blythe's closet. He'd wait a moment before he tried to speak, give her time to process someone bothering her.

Blythe went still. Who was knocking on her closet? No one knew she was here. They shouldn't know she was here. She tried to push herself further back quitely but sadly her stiff legs did not want to be quite and made noise as they moved again after so long. Shit fuck. Maybe they'll just think something fell and the closet was stuck. Yes thats it. Then later when everyone was asleep she would move to a new closet. Though right now her heart was in her head and her body was glitching. Though it never got to bad as something kept her body from glitching out to much.

Kane knocked again, still gentle.

"Miss Aurora? Blythe? You don't know me, but I know you're in there. I don't want to hurt you, but I think you should come out here. I think it'd do some good for you to talk. Can you do that for me?" He pitches his voice to be low and soothing, like one would talk to a cornered animal.

Blythe really was panicked. She didn't know that voice and she really didn't like that the voice knew her. In her panic her numb hoof kicked out in a way that opened the closet door. Seeing the door opened she tried to grab at it but slipped due to her awkward placement and fell through the closet door. She laid on the ground at the feet?? of someone else.

Kane let out a sigh.

"It's alright, I know you're scared, but please breathe." He kneels down, and holds out a hand for her.

"Can you match my breathing, Blythe? Breathe in for four seconds, hold for four seconds, breathe out for four seconds. And repeat. Can you do that for me?" He instructs, still speaking softly.

Blythe looks up at the other still panicked but listens. She breaths in and out. Her body glitches with every breath like its fighting to change. She felt her panic calm a bit after a moment of breathing. "How?" She asked still trying to keep her breathing together. She did her best to hide.

"My wish is to know everything, and I want to help. I think you need it the most, here." He sits down with her.

"Breathing exercises help you control your breathing and break you out of panic attacks, the more measured your breaths are the less panicked you stay." He smiles gently.

"I know that being found suddenly is scary, but I promise I'm just here to help you, Blythe."

Blythe blinks. "I... I'll hurt you though." She wanted to warn him but was trying so hard to keep her breath even. "All I do is hurt." If he knew so much he would know how she hurt everyone.

"No, sweetheart, you don't hurt everyone. Sure, sometimes, people get hurt and it's your fault, but you can't take blame for everything." He offers her his hand again.

"You didn't personally kill your friend in the Library, or the other corrupted magi outside. You didn't push them to it, either. You said some mean things, and laughed at the wrong time, and made decisions that hurt yourself and your friends a little, but that doesn't make you a danger. Let me help you, and you can stop feeling so lost. Okay?"

Blythe felt her eyes get wet. He knew so much about her and listed things she did that did hurt other but other things. They had to be her fault right? "If I was just better then... Maddie and Gia wouldn't have ascended like they did. I wouldn't have annoyed Seth so much. Beca wouldn't have left me." The tears fell. "I'm the only thing that connects all of this. How is it not me?" She sobbed out.

"Becca didn't leave you, she was arrested. Maddie despaired because they were upset with how Rose Corp handled Thea Keng and Seth Nguyen. Gia despaired because her wish made her incapable of dealing with her grief. None of that was your fault." He pulls a handkerchief out of his pocket, and presses it into one of Blythe's hands instead of trying to touch her or wipe the tears for her.

"You're mistaking correlation for causation. You didn't cause any of this, Blythe. You were a victim of the Cult your friends were trapped in as much as your old team members were victims outside it." He takes a deep, measured breath.

"Okay?"

Blythe listened her tears still falling. She took the piece of cloth and rubbed her face. "I... did hurt people though and if I had been better Gia wouldn't have ascended. It was my fault she said it was my fault." Blythe could only think of what the woman said to her.

"Kritanta Rose lied to you." Kane took a steadying breath.

"She lied, and she manipulated you, and she wanted you to despair on her watch so she could steal your energy for herself. It wasn't to help the universe, or the incubators, or whatever else. It was to give herself more time. She was a deeply selfish woman who used your desperate want to be loved by a parent and need to be praised against you." He settles back onto his heels.

"And... hurting someone on accident doesn't condemn you forever into being a bad person. You can apologize, and whether they forgive you or not, you can move on from that. You can be better, and get better. You don't have to be alone, and hating yourself."

Blythe looked at Kane her eyes foggy with tears and she just broke down fully into a crying mess. Hearing the truth hurt but it helped kinda. All of them were hurt by that woman. "I was confused... scared..." She babbled out. "I jus wanna help." Her sobs made her voice sound like a mess. "I didn wan peop to hur." Her words started to slur together. "I fout they hep I fout i wiz lyd to. She said i wiz spashl n i wan be i nev wer for."

Kane gently tugs Blythe so that, if needed, others can get past her to the other rooms past her closet. He lets her cry, and settles her against the wall, and waits.

"I know it hurts, and I know you didn't want anyone to be hurt. And I'm so, so sorry nobody saved you before things got this bad. But I'm here, and your friends are here, and they all care about you too. You're going to be okay, Blythe. You can work through this. You might not have been special before, but you were special to Your Prince.  You were special to Gia, and Seth. You were special to the others in your little corner of that cult, and you were special to Chara Kuwahara, and Percy Richards. You don't have to beat yourself up about ruining everything." He smiles gently.

"And while, yes, being trapped in this house makes it awkward... you can always reach out to people you hurt and apologize to them, too. It won't fix everything, but it will give them the chance to know that you're getting better, too. And maybe you can both work together, to be better friends. Who knows? The future isn't set in stone, Blythe. And we have eternity, now."

Blythe let herself be moved. She didn't care. She let her sobs turn to a trickle. "I... how?" She asked not really sure how to ask. How could she even start to apologize to everyone she hurt.

"You can start with asking to talk in DMs, once the chat is open. Or you can text them, with a note that they don't have to respond if they don't want to." He pulls out his phone, and shows her how to DM others without access to the chatroom.

"You can also, if you don't want to ask directly, ask someone to be a go-between. Like asking Vondila to send a message to someone, if you were both willing." He smiles gently.

"I can also be a go-between, if you'd rather a stranger talk to someone for you." He laces his fingers together.

"I can't know anything that hasn't happened yet, so I can't tell you how reaching out will go, but... I can be here, and I can help with processing, and dealing with things, and I can help you deal with the job of breaking your brainwashing fully. You're going to be okay, but it will take time. And that's okay, too."

Blythe nodded. "Okay..." She sniffled trying to stay calm. "I think letters will be best." That way if they didn't want to deal with her they didn't have to.

Kane nods.

"You can pick who delivers them, and I can help you write them, too. You don't have to find all the words on your own." Kane offers, as he sits with her.

"Does that sound less scary?"

Blythe nodded. "Yeah... could you help me write them?" She was still sniffling.

"Of course. I'll be happy to." Kane promised.

`Dear Aeron,

I am sending you this letter to apologize for the hurt I caused. I was blinded by lies and let it hurt you. I didn't take what you said as truth as it turns out my phone glitched and never sent the message to Percy. I just got the wrong answers in the end and took those as facts instead. I also want to say sorry for laughing when you tried to walk into that labyrinth I wasn't trying to upset you or laugh at you I just didn't know how to react so I laughed. I thought you were really cool and wanted to be your friend I just got all stuck in the stuff I was told and felt like you would hate me. I still think your really cool actually and are super strong being able to stand up to Rose corp like you did. I know now we are in the same house as Percy ate both our souls but I didn't want to talk to you in person and make you feel trapped as I feel trapped right now too.

You don't have to reply if you don't want to,

-Blythe`

Blythe closed the paper and put it in the envelope and put Aeron's name on it. She wanted to-do Aeron first mostly as writing to those she was actually close to felt like to much. But even one letter was a lot. She rubbed the tears from her face again and handed the letter to Kane. "See you soon." She said before curling up in her closet to just try and calm down.

---

`Dear Thea,

I know no word will ever make up to what I did to you. I should have listened to you that day and left Rose corp but I was scared. I got it in my head that everyone in Seaford only pitied me and I let the lies of rose corp effect me into attack you. I was told you were going to be helped not hurt and I took that at face value. You were so strong standing up to them like you did and now that I'm learning what really happened to you and to me I do respect you. You deserved better then what happened to you and I am at fault for what happened to you just like other members of rose corp. I just want you to know I'm sorry for the part I paid in your death and know nothing will ever make up for what happened down there.

You don't have to reply if you don't want to

-Blythe`

Blythe looked at the finished letter for Thea. God she had to rewrite it so many times. She had tried to write it without Kane but kept just crying and messing up the paper. With Kane it wasn't any better. She finally had a finished one that was at least able to be read. She closed it up put it into an envelope and handed it to Kane. They had another session in a week.

---

`Dear Seth,

I know this might seem weird me sending you a letter when we are in the same house but I'd rather not keep over taking your space. I'm sorry I was so clingy for so long after I died. To be honest I was scared that I would wake up again and be still trapped in that room in the rose centre alone. Being around you is comforting to me. Not like in the way the others are but like I don't have to be on. I let that and my own fears take over a space you were trying to make for yourself and I'm sorry. I'm also sorry for just vanishing like I did. I didn't want to go back after Maddie said they were leaving as all that built up problems that had been there for me finally spilled over and I didn't want to hurt you more. Your important to me Seth and I want you to know that.

Thank you

Blythe`

`Dear Percy,

I know you wont read this for a long time to come but I want to say I'm sorry for hurting you. You tried to be there but I failed to take that. I let the panic of so much in my life overwhelm me that I trusted the wrong people. That day you killed Robin I so scared you were going to kill me next. For so long I thought you hated me but then in my final moments of life you were there for me. You didn't let me be alone and didn't let my grief seed fall into Rose corps hands. I know you were badly hurt by rose corp but so was I and then I hurt you and others. Maybe I was just a blip for you but understand that last moment of kindness you showed me meant a lot to me. It proved that me even how little it might have helped I did try and do something to fix what harm that was caused. I'm sorry I witched on you and what ever harm my witch did I will understand if you hate me.

Thank you

-Blythe`

Blythe was able to write Percy's letter mostly on her own and Seth's she needed help with due to her own thoughts about it. She knew they weren't really true but her brain still said she hurt Seth more then she probably did. Handing the two letters to Kane she gave him a small smile. She still hurt a lot but she was getting better. Luckily Percy's wasn't really something he would read right away so that kinda helped.

---

`Dear Chara,

I'm so sorry I threw away our friendship, you were so important to me and I know you forgive me but I find writing these have been helping me heal. I know I have a long way to go still but baby steps. I don't know when you might read this so I might be doing way better by then. I just hope you never took my problems as judgement on your character. Friendship is messy and need communication but I got it all messed up in my head and ran. I've done that a lot actually. I just hope when you do finally die we can still be friends.

Thank you

-Blythe`

At the start of her next sesion with Kane she handed him her letter to Chara. She was proud she was able todo one on her own and get it done before Kane got there. 

---

`My dear Prince,

I'm sorry I wasn't there to talk to you before you went off on your adventure. I hope you are having a wonderful time. I want to apologize for anything I might have done that hurt you. I've been talking to Kane and he has been helping me a lot actually. When you left and sent that message I panicked and hid. I blamed myself over what happened to others and let that woman's words corrupt me so much. I think if it wasn't for this house and being trapped here I would have turned back to my witch. I still feel like I am at times. This is actually the first letter I'm writing without Kane's help. So its more ramblely and less structured then my others. I don't even know how to send a letter in death. Thats not the point. I just want you to know you mean so much to me and when your adventure is over I hope you will at least come to see me again, I miss you.

Love Blythe`

Blythe sat in the closest sit but now it was changed a bit to be more of a comforting space. Vondila and Vanessa had helped by pulling out some shelves and getting a small mattress and lights for her. She was no longer cramped in there. It was nice. The only reason she chose to stay here was due to the lack of space for her to be anywhere else. She didn't really interact with anyone much though but would leave it on the daily to get food and water.

Looking at the last letter she wrote she kissed it gently and folded it up. Setting it in an envelope she sealed it and wrote who it was for.

'My dear Prince'

She never really talked about Maddie much with Kane as she made it clear she didn't want to know things about the other till the other was back. It felt wrong to pry into what Maddie was doing when Maddie clearly needed space to spread their wings. Hell she would like to be out of this house to spread her own wing things. She wondered is she could fly with them or just glide. She picked up all the letters she had worked on over the last month. Kane would be here soon and she was going give him all but Maddie's to deliver. She still doubted herself about things but she didn't feel like everyone's pain was fully her fault anymore.