Kai's Memories

The Maldrus is gone. She’s the last living incarnation of it on this plane. And even if she doesn’t make it to Nazriil, she’s done her part in making the world a little safer.

And yet she still can’t sleep.

Tomorrow they set off for Corlain. Tomorrow, she leaves all of this behind forever.

It feels unfinished. Her parents are dead, her home forever a ruined memory. Xiin is still fighting a losing war alone. And so many people are gone, never to come back. She doesn’t feel ready to say goodbye.

Or maybe she just hasn’t tried to.

To the beach again, one more time. Maybe someday, when Nazriil is dead and Balmin is free, they’ll return to the coast. But for now, it’s going to be a long time before she sees the ocean again.

She stands there in silence, taking it in. The sea always felt like home to her, even when she hadn’t seen it since childhood. But where is home, really? It’s with Alistair, with Dezzy.

This isn’t a place she can stay anymore. She stopped yearning to return here a long time ago.

But it’s a good night to say farewell for now. With the blue moon above casting intense azure light on the blackened waves, the ocean looks almost like it’s glowing from within.

She stands there staring for what feels like hours, but she can’t stay here all night. Time is running out.

Tipping her head up to the stars, she whispers a message to Xiin, hopes he hears her as she promises to finish this for good one day. Still not enough.

A shell catches her eye, plain white and ridged, and this gives her an idea. She gathers up what little she has, scraps of driftwood and pretty shells, and assembles it far enough from the waves that it will stand for a time. A shrine, a grave. A last goodbye.

Though she can’t remember them, though they’re little more to her than the impression of being loved, though they’ve been gone so long she’s grown up, she misses them still.

But she has to let them go now. They did all they could.

She doesn’t know what god to pray to, so she just places a hand on the biggest shell, closes her eyes and puts out all the warmest intentions she can muster. “Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.”

Maybe they’ll hear it. Maybe they won’t. As she walks away from the ocean, she adds in her head, I’ll be okay. I have another family taking care of me now.

She hopes they don’t mind.