Nadhiya's Journey

Stepping onto the cruise ship, Nadhiya hadn’t expected anything different, really. She would probably find herself keeping to Yin or Kardia, maybe interacting with a few others? Most likely she would end up exploring the ship or laying out and soaking up the sun (star?) light. Basically things she already did at home anyway.

She hadn’t expected Tracy Valentine.

Then again, who prepared for meeting someone like Tracy? He was one of a kind, in a very questionable sense of that phrase. Yet despite the flush that wouldn’t go away on her face due to him and Yin...Nadhiya couldn’t deny the small smile that managed to stay on her lips for a few hours after their first meeting. This was perhaps the only reason she paused when she saw him selling a date. Normally she wouldn’t even consider it, the shame alone of paying for someone to date her would be enough to dissuade her. Yet..it was Tracy and she recalled how at ease she had been. Thus she was able to push away the feeling long enough to make an impulse decision and snap up that date.

Tracy made her smile. He made her feel good about herself. What was the harm in spending some money on him? Sure it would be her first date. Ever. Some would say paying someone for a date, much less your first one, was pathetic. Part of her did still feel that way, yet she couldn’t bring herself to care too much. Her curiosity about him was too high.

Did she spend too much time finding the right outfit? Yes. She may have also spent a little more effort on her makeup and hair than she usually did..but before she knew it , it had been time to meet him for the second (third?) time. Despite her own doubts about her looks, he made her feel pretty. Something that was rare to come by for the woman who doubted her own appeal more so than her physical prowess. Yet he managed it, and it helped heal a crack or two in her confidence as he sent her into another flush and laughter.

She couldn’t stop smiling.

Turns out that the rest of the date would be like this. Laughter, smiling, and hand holding. Oh, and she was particularly fond of the hand holding. It was a comfort she hadn’t known she needed until at one point their hands had disconnected and she felt a keen loss. It wasn’t that it was an intimate action that she craved. It was just a sense of connection and comfort. It let her feel grounded in reality.

Beyond the hand holding though, beyond the laughs and smiles, there was assurance that she wasn’t doing something wrong being the way she was. So what if she didn’t want to be intimate with anyone? There was nothing wrong with that, Tracy assured her. As she adjusted his hat atop her head, she finally felt pride. Not in her strength, power, or status, but rather in who she was. Nadhiya felt proud of the fact that she didn’t like intimacy, rather than shame or doubt.