This user is not visible to guests.
I've wavered about making this thread for a while because I'm not sure if it's too close to other games, but there can never be too many opportunities to say nice things about other people's work, I think! :')
In this game, you'll post a link to a literature you've written here on Toyhouse that you're proud of, and the person below will tell you what they like about it! In turn, you'll tell the person who posted above you what you like about theirs.
Rules:
- I don't want to impose a specific word limit, but try to pick literatures that aren't too overwhelmingly long to read: if you have a whole novel here on Toyhouse, just link a chapter! If the person below loves it, they can read the rest in their own time, but they're not obligated to for this game.
- Please write at least a few sentences for the person above you, and write something of substance! You don't have to write a dissertation on the piece, but write the kind of response that you'd love to receive! What about the piece did you like, or what did the writer do particularly well in the piece?
- Remember that this is a compliment thread (there is a separate thread for writing critique)! Please avoid criticism unless the person above you said they wanted it!
- You can post content-warned or mature-rated literatures, but you must mark that they are, and PLEASE LINK an all-ages lit as an alternate option in your post, to prevent the thread from becoming stuck if minors want to participate, or if people might just be uncomfortable with the subject matter.
- It's also OK to post alternate options for any reason! If you'd really prefer your first lit to be reviewed, it's fine to say that and even post a time limit if you want; For example: "I'd really love feedback on Lit A, but if a day passes, Lit B is fine as well!"
- All writing posted in this thread should be hosted on Toyhouse, via the literature feature! No off-site links, please.
- Claim first so you have time to read the person's lit and craft your response!
- Please ping the person above you so you make sure that they see your comment! If you're not sure how to do this, you simply type @THEIRUSERNAME, and they will be notified! This will not work if you edit the ping into your comment later (like if you wanted to claim and then edit your comment in); you must put it in when you first submit the comment.
- You are NOT ALLOWED to skip anyone in this thread. If you cannot see the post above you because the poster or you have blocked each other, wait for another person to comment before replying to the thread. Feel free to bump the thread to encourage others to participate!
- Let at least two people go before posting again. If you post in this thread often, try to vary the lit you post! If the thread gets stuck for a week or more, it's fine to post again even if only one person has gone since your last post.
- You can bump the thread as often as you like; I don't mind.
- BE NICE!
Other literature/writing games I highly recommend:
- Favorite Written Work From the User Above!
- Say something nice about the above user's excerpt (the same idea, but for shorter excerpts!)
- Critique The Written Work Above (if you also want criticism!)
- I Wanna See A Story...
- Say something nice about above user's writing! (for writing in character profiles, in general, etc.)
The first person to post can just link one of their lits and receive a free response. Have fun!
kalopseance Oh my gosh you have NO reason to be embarrassed, I read Fear and it's great!! maybe I'm just easily swayed by interesting dialogue but the two big things that absolutely made me swoon here is 1) the way miss veil was completely reading archer's mind at the beginning and 2) the change of dynamic when Archer asks if she's trying to give him advice. There's such depth to pick up for both of them just from the flow of their conversations, not to mention archer's relationship with ludo as a concept. NOT TO MENTION your writing style has just a lovely lovely flow to it, and the title is really fun for the themes of the piece, and the callback to it in the last line was SO good lmao. great read :D
Waa thanks so much! I've been so into dialogue lately it's almost a problem LOL, very touched that they come across so well!! :)
Alright, so I read two yours!
First off, I read 'First Contact Might Not Be the Name for It'! This is an extremely dialogue heavy excerpt and I gotta say, you did it so well! The writing is super smooth and natural, and it comes off as very organic, and really does feel like two people speaking in a certain way given their current circumstance! It's choppy and the constantly interrupt and question each other, and it really conveys that they are two people trying to work hard to uncover something they're concerned about, especially Adeline. I personally find it very difficult to have such dialogue heavy writing as I'm a very prose-based person who loves rambling lol so the fact that you can express so much about the tense situation and the emotions of the two characters almost entirely off dialogue is commendable!
I also read 'Glasses Raised to the Blood and Sugar', which is another dialogue heavy writing! I also super love the way you set the scene though, the images of the musty tavern, creaky ship at sea, and dimly lit wooden walls are very vivid, and I got that from only a few paragraphs! Through the interactions of your two characters, I think they also do a very good job of setting the tone and their backgrounds and personalities through very little and very natural exchange. Very often I feel that people use dialogue to set the background, like in a badly written anime or something where everyone shouts what's going on so the viewer isn't confused, and it's really nice to see your writing accomplishing that in a very organic way! In the dialogue, you're able to convey what a shadowed past Ellis must have, and what a capable, fearsome, and adept warrior she is, and also gleen into her relationship with Lancaster! It's like I'm looking into a snapshot of each of these characters, and yet leaving with a good understanding of what's happening.
Another thing I wanted to say is, I really like the names you give your writing! I think I'm horrible at names, and I love so many of yours, like 'excerpts from the buried work of JK Holywell', and 'suit yourself in the clothes you'll be buried in'!
-----------
a lot of my work is romantic so pls be ok with that lol i did writing for a trade here, and my ao3 can be found here(they're both hella long and one i wrote when i was a teen so just read a chapter if you prefer, and pls be ok with mlm!)
I read both La Vie En Rose & How To Find Your Perfect Muse.
Starting with LVER: I adored the incorporation of French and English, it made it feel so poetic and authentic. But more so the way this work was structured really resonated with me; it complimented the prose very well. To have the French bit in italics, centered, and written one line at a time added to the poetry and is flattering on the eyes imo.
So onto the prose. I adored how this was written. The language felt very authentic and unforced to me. It felt natural. It was flowery and beautiful without being in your face or sounding over the top. It is so easy to fall into the trap of overdoing the poetic language. "There were floating animals, sparkles and glitter that lit up the night sky in so many shapes, so many things that Étude only heard about in the television shows" Is probably my favorite line from this, it is very evocative. By this I mean that I can very vividly imagine the scene in my head and that is so important to me when I'm reading anything.
And finally I really enjoyed very much how the italic bits were used to Segway into scene changes, very unique choice. I don't see that used very often.
________
So for HTFYPM; The first line that caught my eye was, "the heinous plagiarising he committed that was a sin to the art world." There's just something about this that I like. The language in this one is very different from LVER, but I like it too. The writing here is very sharp and to the point and it offers (idk if this was intended) a touch of rigid humor and I enjoy that. The absolute blasphemy of plagiarism!! But for real tho, I can see why Yusuke finding that his mentor did something so low could put him in a slump. Points for relatablity.
I think what I like the most about this work is the plot itself. It's always a thrill to read about a fellow writer/artist fighting for inspiration. And I love the bridge between creativity and celestial bodies. It just feels so right to connect the imagination with planetariums. And of course this paves the way for the stunning imagery and descriptive language that I crave.
Another thing that I think you did well was balance dialogue with description. One didn't overpower the other; it wasn't overloaded with action and imagery nor was it disorienting dialogue heavy.
And finally, I am not familiar with Persona 5 at all lol, but this work was still able to get me intrigued by the characters. I feel like I know a bit more about them despite not having interacted with the canon at all!
I have a few works here and on wattpad. Also a whole mess of fanfics if that more for you.
okay, so i read the the mothmon travel guide. i saw the title and i instantly had to read it. and i don't regret it at all! you mentioned this chapter is just a wip but i love it already!
first off, the descriptions!! i love them! the last paragraphs where the forest and the beach were contrasted are so good! honestly all the lines are good but i love this one in particular "a dusting of stars viewed between swaying palms has more fulfillment than looking up only to find a thick and impenetrable cloud of leaves" but maybe that's my love for stargazing talking. and "His glasses were found near a rusty old TNT factory" is so eerie! i love it!
also, i love how the narration pokes fun at the trope of "teenagers being lost in the woods and stalked by monster(s)". like how mothmon was keeping track of how many times shelton said we're fine. and "It is the same tired spiel week after week. He knows that the girl will go tense before her legs even lock up. He knows that she will lament about how they should have paid the extra dollar for a map." just captures mothmon's boredom really well. and it did get a chuckle out of me in a darkly funny way.
i love this wip and i love mothmon! just really fun and interesting!
----
v ahhhh! thank you! i'm so glad to hear that my dialogue seemed realistic!
also you should check out the line prompt forum! inspired me quite a few times!!
i read conflict of ideals!
this is totally unrelated but i wanna say it anyways - it's so neat seeing all these come from the line prompt game! gives me inspo to actually go in there myself....
while it was short, what i read was very (bitter)sweet! i love love dialogue-heavy stories where it's like..... u can FEEL them interacting..... and i think this story does that well! even though it's only a little over 1k, you still tell a story that leaves me intrigued , which is something i admire greatly. you really get a feel for how the twins interact in a stressful situation, and it gives some insight into their background - enough to reel you in.
but yea! your dialogue is a strong point and even though it wasn't the most positive banter, it felt like things people would actually say..... i dig it
--
pick anything from here, minus the one thing in the archive! wordcounts are listed.
please ping me!!
https://toyhou.se/Whyme123/characters/folder:1854804
I read " countdown " and I very much enjoyed it!! It kept me reading the plot was unique and overall very well put together in my opinion. zinnia
Whyme123 Please write a longer response to zinnia. Responses should be as thoughtful as those you would like to receive. What about the story did you like?
Also, I'm confused because you don't seem to have any lits on Toyhouse for the next person to read? This isn't a thread for complimenting characters.
If they don't edit, I'll claim Zinnia since it's been a while. Just let me know when/if I have the green light to do so.
given the user’s history with never editing claims when asked , id say you’re free to claim me if you’d want ;o;
Alright, I'll claim! I might not be able to edit until later today or tomorrow tho! Today is gonna be busy for me.
I chose to read Odd Keystone! First of all, I really loved this quote, "It's the perfect time to go out! The rain washes away the dirt and uncovers all sorts of things!" There's something poetic and pretty about it. It kind of gives me nostalgia, I used to love going outside after a rainstorm for this reason exactly. I could definitely relate to Cynthia's love of digging and exploring. Now I don't know much about Pokemon but I was still able to get the basic gist of what was happening, (though I did have to look up what a garchomp was lol) and I think that that's a plus--when even someone who isn't in the fandom can still apricate a good story.
Another thing that I think was done well was balancing dialogue with action. This piece wasn't bogged down with action and description but it also wasn't too dialogue heavy. And the actions and what not were realistic/not over exaggerated. Like the conversations had here were ones I felt could be real life exchanges that you would hear as you pass someone by.
I also liked the characters. I can't gauge whether or not they were in character or not because I don't know anything about Pokemon but I liked how they were written. They were cute and fun. Precious children. <3
And finally, I felt "only lightly revised, probably stuff i missed. idk where i was going with this plot wise so if it doesnt make sense. that is why but like yolo" on a spiritual level lmao. Who needs a plot anyways. Sometimes it's just fun to have some mindless fluff with little plot. Makes for an easy/relaxing read. Which, yeah, definitely nice sometimes especially if your usual reads are angst fics and horror novels.
NP: I have stuff in my lit tab as well as on wattpad or fanfic if you like fanfic more.
SapphireBatWings
I read through a few of your fanfics from the avatar universe. Seriously, AtlA, LoK, and Voltron? You get me.
I love the way you write both Azula and Kuvira. They both have a similar style that you capture really well. I really feel more attached to both of them after reading your fics.
The one that I read that really sticks out to me is Wander. Azula hardly ever seems to be afraid in the show, and I love to see a character’s breaking point. Makes me realize she really is just a kid. And you redeem both of them. They get to learn and be happy. I love second chances.
—————————————————————————————
My stories are in my lit tab. The Kenneth’s stories aren’t full novels- each chapter can be read mostly as a stand-alone and the bullet point chapters will help get a fuller picture