Say something nice about the above person's lit!

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I read through That's Life and Goating the Distance.

Starting with That's Life, I was pleasantly surprised to see it was a songfic. It was a reminder of older times on fanfiction.net, where everybody and their mother had a songfic. It's a somewhat light-hearted song, paired with a very melancholic situation: a man is dying in a fire, while the song That's Life plays. The details of the flames paired with Virgil's movements make it feel all the more somber, like the chorus is no longer a ditty but a wailing from mourners. Despite the fact that Virgil is dying, you feel yourself carried by his mood until the end. The ending? Its slow pace paves the way for the inevitable, and it's all the more enjoyable for it.

Goating the Distance is a sequel to Virgil's death, which shows the aftermath of his death. The description of Virgil's reactions and emotions say a lot more than words can, and there are parts where these descriptions work best as descriptions rather than dialogue -- you can see the expression on his face morphing from a chuckle to pure fear. Ironically, the story ends rather differently than what you'd expect, and while I do appreciate the initial horror, I couldn't help but smile at the end of it as Virgil finds himself wanting to stay with Grimwald instead of returning to the land of the living.

In both stories, there's definitely a momentum that hooks you from the start, and keeps you reading. You're curious! You want to know what happens! And sometimes there's something that makes you smile.

here's my lit tab; there's not much, but it's honest work

I read through Heartbeats and Coals and found it to be very nicely written for a Reader x Demon, the descriptions you give for the areas and characters are short, but still give a detailed understanding of what we'd be looking at. Also, how you write how the characters talk is really impactful, the bold text for when the Demon is speaking allows us to know he is much louder and sinister than a human, that he has a deep, stern and aggressive voice in the beginning towards the men, but steadily quiets down to a normal text as he speaks to the reader. Finally the fluffiness at the end is super cute! 

I'm not the best at writing critiques / reviews, so I'm sorry if this is short ;w;

beep beep thread come back

Dakkokki hellooo I actually read Mixture first, then saw Target Acquired was also about Tsubakura so headed over there LOL, so first of all guess I have to say Mixture's a really effective character hook/introduction =) Your characters are standout, plain fun to read - Tsubakura got the most smiles out of me throughout Target Acquired (I'm endeared lmao), but even though we didn't see him as much Fumikaido left such an impression too. They both come across really clear and really well through both your dialogue and narration. Good stuff =)

Here's my liberry, don't be afraid to scroll down I promise I still like the stuff at the bottom too LOL, concrit very welcome 🤘

Aw hey I actually almost hid that one for this but left it public in case of this exact scenario LMAO thank you that's cool to hear!

IF I MAY SAY in return I also just read the Boy in The Hat and vaguely obsessed with the voice and the imagery, especially around Nevrakis, thats like. darkly comedic but also so dramatic and effective all at once and the environment Anne is in a genuinely fascinating captivating character scenario wahoo

The Boy In The Hat is what I read for the above user, and I really like how the story proceeds to tell the characters! It is sequenced well in a series of events of the lives of the main characters, and it is almost like a biography (unless it is a biography?) , and I like how the ending is like a cliffhanger but not at the same time! Makes me wanna read more! Sorry if this is short, not too good at complimenting literature compared to OCS! :")

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Heres my Library , I am so sorry but I only got one Literature and its a WIP,,,feel free to give me comments on it! No critique tho, I got a forum just for that (a warning will appear so you can do that if you desire) ! :")

VictoryVManga Hey! Ok so first off I wanna say that I really love Tales in History so far! I honestly love the fact that it is in script format. I guess, though, that’s mostly just a personal reading preference, haha. About the actual story now: I love the premise. Going into it, I was (and still am) really interested in how magic will play in with historical events. The prelude was really nice to read! In a way, it was kinda mysterious with the book being opened and it definitely drew me in. In Story 1, it was amusing reading about Dong Hai telling Kai Jia about the note and poof it’s there, haha. For Story 2, I don’t have any specific things that stuck out to me enough to comment on, except I do wanna say that these stories are very short but sweet (in a good way of course)! There’s enough information to be informed, and it’s not drawn out in long paragraphs. That’s very nice imo. I tend to get really lost with too many details. All in all, It’s really good so far and I can’t wait to see what happens next. This is only a ‘draft’ script, too, as you said! I’m definitely gonna follow and read when there’s updates. Keep up the great work! Hopefully this is enough, I’m not sure how much feedback would be best. But yeah, really cool story/script. I’m glad I read it! :D

Here are my literatures! If I’m allowed, I’d personally recommend Tales of the Nether! The Scrambled Egg Hunt was a pretty quick write, but it is still pretty good. Sentim’s Journal isn’t too much of an actual book I would say it wouldn’t count in this thread(?).

Edit: I didn’t get a notification for your ping but thank you so much Zinnia! This made my night aaaa. About the spooky mobs, they aren’t too bad in-game but I can imagine if you had a ten year old with you it’d be way scarier 👀👀 hahaha. Really glad the interactions and ending were enjoyable for you :D Again, thank you for the kind words! 

ThatDoggo

i'll go by your recommendation then :0 

i read through the whole thing and the first thing that struck me was how sweet the family interactions were ;___; i'm always a sucker for any kind of positive family interaction and these ones really hit me! given that basalt is like 10, i think you did a pretty good job of portraying that childlike wonder kids have with their parents work :0

i unfortunately just stopped playing minecraft before the nether update so i'm unable to truly grasp how Spooky the new mobs that came with it are, but i think you did a good job of portraying the danger that came in tow with seeing them! i'm also very thankful that you gave it a nice ending when such an encounter couldve gone south, it really kinda adds to the... idk how to phrase it but 'warmth' of the piece.

tldr. baby basalt i would protect you with my life

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i havent updated my world's library page so even tho its kind of a mess you can see my lits here! dont choose character backstories because thats literally just my character's backstory sections and doesnt really count

zinnia

I've read through a couple of your character profiles before, so I'm very excited to read some of the lit. It's also very late, so, uh, bear with me. I picked a couple of the more recent oneshots to read, so I'll list them as I go.

First date: The first thing I find about the writing is how the dialogue is written; it's very easy to picture actual people saying things here, especially as Angie stammers her way about while Sonia tries to reassure her that everything will be fine. The profiles may have a lot of information crammed into them, but the spontaneousness of the lack of it allows you to get a feel for Angie's personality in a more natural manner. While it is unrevised, it also lends a hand to the natural, breezy effect the dialogue carries.

Goodnight: This one, despite being written in two separate periods of time, still feels like a proper story that carries you first with its dialogue, and then with the story of how Pearl and Renee cope with the latter's day at the office. Renee is a very relatable hard worker, while her daughter still reacts in a realistic manner. Kids grow tired, and they will focus on some things until they are ready to climb on a couch and sleep. Meanwhile, the world of Pokemon that Zinnia the Author portrays is harsh, yes, but not without kindness as Zinnia the Character steps in to help Renee with her work. It's a charming story for some good post-work feelings, especially after a long day.

Here are my lits; only Albedo's Death - Interlude IV is triggering for anything largely immediate, but a couple of ficlets are based in the FNAF universe just in case.

buildourmachine, i chose to read albedo's death: interlude iv. this has a vaguely dreamlike quality to it (especially with the one-line sentences), and you can really feel coryn's grief and anger in the situation and his loyalty to albedo. he seems incredibly reckless and is unwilling to listen to reason, even if revenge would be the wrong thing to do. he's definitely unwilling to be glad in his successes and even ignores lumine, although she's trying to help him. because the story seems like it's written in coryn's perspective (from starting out mentioning him, then only hearing his thoughts throughout the story) it's so much easier to understand coryn and lumine doesn't even seem like a good character at first. the ending is completely phenomenal; you can completely feel the anger take control of coryn, and the ending words are incredibly well-written and ominous. i wonder if it's him speaking, or something else? is this what he's thinking as he attacks lumine?

i'd prefer it if you check out class of the ungifted; it's the beginning of a story rather than an excerpt from one!

claim :)

kara-airbender

okay okay uh, i really like how descriptive it is, like, i like the use of words and how you use different words and how you describe everything, it really sets the environment and the character up in a good way, and it makes it seem like it's actually a character reacting to the world around them. it really makes you feel sympathy for the character, y'know?

i know it doesn't make much sense, i suck at explaining lol-

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i only have one story so uh, just check that out..

RainandFriends

Alright, I really enjoy how long the text is for some reason, it feels so nice to just READ. I actually enjoy the plot of it a lot, it's smooth in my opinion! There's a lot of little snippits of apparent thoughts in there that I really enjoy reading as well, even the ending gets me. It's a nice cliffhanger, and I wanna read more of it if you ever decide to write more about it! Let's hope the story continues,,,

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To NP: I prefer you look at "Cheer The Fuck Up You Beautiful Loser" or "Devil's Train"

I liked this! The sense of time passing and blending together and made clear by the repetition and the thoughts you share between the hours. The distinct typing styles between the characters is a nice touch. 

For NP, I'd like you to check out First Bite!

It's about my character Michael, a buff blond man who is bitten by and consequently turned into a vampire.

Cw for graphic descriptions of the experience of blood loss. More detailed cws are in the literature.

PineappleUtopia

I really liked this. Your writing is descriptive in a way that feels very natural and real. The sentences, often short and fragmentary, truly sound like Michael's thoughts. I liked small bits like how he tries to negotiate with what his body will allow, and his vague thoughts that getting to the bathroom would help, and the fact that while ostensibly dying, he still has thoughts about his blood staining the floor and his shirt. It all feels relatable (despite vampire bites not so much being an everyday occurrence). Your descriptive language sets the scene vividly: it's never flowery or overdone, but it's enough that I feel like I could be there. His fleeting awareness feeling like trying to hold a fish, or the 911 conversation feeling like the words are lead wrapped in glue: these were unique and vivid comparisons that stuck with me.

The suicidal thoughts are understandable as well, and it feels good to root for, and to watch Michael work through his feelings and choose to seek help. I feel for him. Good luck, buddy.

Any of mine are fine and they all stand alone, but Lights Out, Bark and Bite, or Showdown at Sunset are some recent lits I like.

hedgemaze oop...30 days ago but I'm sure you won't mind lol. I read Showdown at Sunset!

First of all, your characterization of the two siblings, was so excellent! I definitely could see myself joking with my brother in this sort of fashion, so it was definitely a treat and hit close to home, which I appreciated a lot. Your vocabulary is awesome, and I love the way you describe the siblings' actions, manner of speech, and just general goofiness, and the transition from the bowling alley to the "showdown" was super smooth, and I giggled when that customer just came in and treated their antics as nothing interesting and just another part of the day, so funny lkjasdf Also...I could pretty much taste that pizza...I've had something similar a looong time ago so being able to draw out that forgotten sensation was awesome. Great stuff all around, your work is awesome.

Any of my literatures are fine, but A Dialogue Between Ancients is my most recent one, if you'd prefer that.