Say something nice about the above person's lit!

Posted 5 years, 8 months ago (Edited 5 months, 17 days ago) by hedgemaze

I've wavered about making this thread for a while because I'm not sure if it's too close to other games, but there can never be too many opportunities to say nice things about other people's work, I think! :')

In this game, you'll post a link to a literature you've written here on Toyhouse that you're proud of, and the person below will tell you what they like about it! In turn, you'll tell the person who posted above you what you like about theirs.

Rules:

I don't want to impose a specific word limit, but try to pick literatures that aren't too overwhelmingly long to read: if you have a whole novel here on Toyhouse, just link a chapter! If the person below loves it, they can read the rest in their own time, but they're not obligated to for this game.
Please write at least a few sentences for the person above you, and write something of substance! You don't have to write a dissertation on the piece, but write the kind of response that you'd love to receive! What about the piece did you like, or what did the writer do particularly well in the piece?
Remember that this is a compliment thread (there is a separate thread for writing critique)! Please avoid criticism unless the person above you said they wanted it!
You can post content-warned or mature-rated literatures, but you must mark that they are, and PLEASE LINK an all-ages lit as an alternate option in your post, to prevent the thread from becoming stuck if minors want to participate, or if people might just be uncomfortable with the subject matter.
It's also OK to post alternate options for any reason! If you'd really prefer your first lit to be reviewed, it's fine to say that and even post a time limit if you want; For example: "I'd really love feedback on Lit A, but if a day passes, Lit B is fine as well!"
All writing posted in this thread should be hosted on Toyhouse, via the literature feature! No off-site links, please.
Claim first so you have time to read the person's lit and craft your response!
Please ping the person above you so you make sure that they see your comment! If you're not sure how to do this, you simply type @THEIRUSERNAME, and they will be notified! This will not work if you edit the ping into your comment later (like if you wanted to claim and then edit your comment in); you must put it in when you first submit the comment.
You are NOT ALLOWED to skip anyone in this thread. If you cannot see the post above you because the poster or you have blocked each other, wait for another person to comment before replying to the thread. Feel free to bump the thread to encourage others to participate!
Let at least two people go before posting again. If you post in this thread often, try to vary the lit you post! If the thread gets stuck for a week or more, it's fine to post again even if only one person has gone since your last post.
You can bump the thread as often as you like; I don't mind.
BE NICE!

Other literature/writing games I highly recommend:

Favorite Written Work From the User Above!
Say something nice about the above user's excerpt (the same idea, but for shorter excerpts!)
Critique The Written Work Above (if you also want criticism!)
I Wanna See A Story...
Say something nice about above user's writing! (for writing in character profiles, in general, etc.)

The first person to post can just link one of their lits and receive a free response. Have fun!

All my forum games and threads

petzcatz2

first of all, i think you really succeeded at painting a really nice atmosphere for this story. it really makes you feel for the main character and the little bits of backstory you get about her made me really care for her. the story was also sweet at the end with her being able to get out of her depressive mindset even for a brief moment to watch a movie with Guy. i loved this story and it made me want to know more about the characters portrayed in it and their relationship!

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heres the only literature i have posted thus far, Gordon Ramsay's Hotel Hell Reality TV Series. its a not-very-serious quick character study about an oc i made recently! i dont really share my writing often so id love to hear thoughts on this!

Caine

Right off the bat I really fell in love with the attention of detail you show in this oneshot! The way the hotel in particular is described is both funny and informative, really giving the impression of a hotel that by no means should even be running given how terrible it appears to be to the reader.

I also like how the hotel room sort of parallels with Panorloin and how he seems to feel about himself: uninteresting, uncool, weak and, as he puts it, "not very smart". Added by the fact he claims he doesn't look great either and that his powers are everything but great, the whole situation with him and the place he's in come across as very... well, gloomy. And I like it, as it's such a great way to describe a character without even using that many concrete words to describe him. The dialogue between Panorloin and the lobby clerk is also interesting and well written, with a very natural sounding and greatly flowing lines that seem very appropriate for the setting. It's also nice that even though Panorloin is the one who very skillfully stole the money, he still gets called out on it and even gets dragged about his fashion style.

Oh and I really liked the line "If he lived on Earth, that would be something to write home about, but here in Hell that was pretty normal". I like the kind of humorous cynicism in it that also gives you an idea of what kind of person the character himself also is.

Here's is a really short thing about Nicholas I wrote for a writing prompt game here!

AlleycatIrony

goodness ur writing is so beautifully done? i usually find it difficult to get hooked in w/ reading as i have trouble understanding and taking in text at the best of times but the way this is written really got me interested immediately :0! like it's written in a way that's complex yet not enough so for me to struggle which is really cool ;w; (i honestly hope to reach this level of writing one day)

tho i love the mysterious feeling that this work has like... i need to know what happens next - i'm gonna assume he's gonna learn the spell so he can leave w/o having to go thru doors or smthn but the way it's written makes me wonder if it's something more
also the backstory that's hinted (assuming i don't read his profile) makes me wonder why he faked his death and why his family is so overprotective of him in the first place
i guess what i'm tryin to say is stories that leave u wanting to know more are the best and i really admire that ur able to have that feeling in ur writing ! if that makes sense c:

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some werewolf AU thing (abuse cw)

tubbo

Claim (trying to revise dead threads)

heres a little fic im working on currently! uwu

hedgemaze

(skip me) @spookyray Remember to fill out your claim!

Inspector-Spinda

AlleycatIrony

I love werewolves and I love this. Even though there isn't much werewolf-ness there's still a heap of suspense and questions I want answered, which is a good thing. I can definitely sympathize with Kijung and that's because his pain wasn't overwritten as it often is. You gave us the details in the beginning and let his behavior speak for itself the rest of the way. I also appreciate that, though this is an AU, you didn't give every single detail of how things work it in. That's good because otherwise it'd probably be 50% exposition.

What really got me hook was at the end when Kijing reveals Cervoh is also half wolf. Make me want to know much more about him. So many questions... I'd definitely read more of this if you wrote it!

https://toyhou.se/~literature/8894.wonder-girl

This post has been removed.

hedgemaze

Inspector-Spinda

This was a really enjoyable read. I love the very casual, conversational flow to the piece; the way you've woven Benny and Hugh's conversation with the telling of Hugh's tale works very well, and kept me interested in knowing where his story was going.

I quite like some of your phrasing, and each of your characters speaks with a distinct and recognizable voice. It makes the piece feel very lively, and the phrasing of some of your descriptions, like how Benny's face "was not one that had been sculpted for the purposes of conveying pleasure and it didn't do so now," how "[t]he meat was so rare it might has well have never seen a flame," or how Hugh had "hit upon a Ming vase of a nerve" is vivid and memorable every time.

There's such a lighthearted, carefree feeling to Hugh's tale, mixed with wistfulness and if not exactly regret, then certainly fond reminiscence: it feels relatable, even if the specific details aren't universal. Anyone can relate to that youthful feeling of stolen time, and Nicky and Hugh's little trysts were charming to read about. You captured the essence of that feeling, and there's something sweet about the fact that Hugh still remembers this story all these years later, and chooses this as the one to tell his friend when he's reminded of being a teenager: it's not another of his tales of criminal mischief or daring schemes; it's just a little story about some time he spent with a fellow spirit.

Fries and Dogs (the warning is just for one very mild joke at the end; it's not an adult story at all)

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Inspector-Spinda

bump

celestiials

Bump; I’d participate but the piece is 18+

(I can’t bump using the button because last post was a while ago)

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celestiials

Ah I see; currently I'm working on literature so when I'm done I'll come back and post it here to keep the thread going

If that's not a viable option then I'll let the next person post their own literature here

hedgemaze

RULE UPDATE: I've updated the rules in hopes it can help prevent this thread from getting stuck so often! I love this thread and I'd really love to see it more active! You can read the full updates in the OP, but the gist:

Posting an all-ages lit as an alternative option was already suggested when posting 18+ lit, but now it's much more strongly recommended. I won't require it in case it's all someone has to post, but if at all possible, it would be best!
I've also added that it's fine to add alternate lit options for any reason. You're free to say that you prefer feedback on Lit A, or that Lit B is fine only after a certain amount of time passes, but this might help if someone has already commented on your first piece, or if you think people might be uncomfortable with the content, or for any other reason the thread might get hung up.
The post limit is still two people between comments, but I've changed it so that if a week or more passes, you can post again even if only one person has posted since your last comment.
This hasn't really been an issue yet, but it's now the rules that all lit posted in this thread should be hosted on Toyhouse via the literature feature (i.e. no external links). This is for a few reasons, but if you disagree with this policy, send me a message with your reasoning. I'm open to reconsidering this!

Thanks, guys!

I was trying not to go again so soon, but I'll claim you now timeandtimor so you don't get skipped!! I'm sorry you've had to wait so long!

(I'll spoiler cut this because of the subject matter, but my comment is below)

Ooh, this was a very hard read, but in a good way. First, to answer your questions: the level of violence (and the fact that it is, on the surface, an able-bodied man against a defenseless woman) is upsetting, but it's of course what you were going for with the piece, so I think you have the right amount of horror for this.

You use the framework of a nightmare really well to explore Alec's feelings in a way that he could only fantasize about: I really liked the shift of power of Alec realizing it was a dream and getting to shape it and take control of it, and the catharsis he was able to experience with that empowerment. In his dream, he can show and tell his mother all the things he's never been able to in reality, and in the end he finally has all her attention on him. I didn't come from circumstances like Alec's, but I think all of us can relate to having someone we wish we could get to understand how they've hurt us, and the kind of catharsis a revenge fantasy like this could have.

You use some really vivid language that I enjoyed, novel turns of phrase like "making his heart race in a way that makes him feel anything but alive," musical repetition in "He hears more than feels the punch he lands square on the creature's jaw. He sees more than feels the resulting red warmth in his hand." I think my favorite passage are these lines where you can truly feel the blood-lust rage and betrayal Alec feels: "He had the taste of her blood on his fists and splattered on his tongue and he didn't want to remember what cleanliness felt like, here. He wanted to make her bones into a mosaic. He wanted to turn her screams into gospel. He wanted her to regret every breath she'd ever taken, and let her wallowing in her own misdeeds be his new faith."

There's this realistic sense of progression to the scene despite the fact that it is (mercifully) a dream: it isn't a bloodbath from word one to the end, but it's a journey that suits the cathartic scene that it is. Alec sees this horrifying figure, comes closer, realizes what it is and what it symbolizes, what it's doing (what it values); he's moved to punish her before it's even a conscious thought, and once he has, he feels like it/she has lost all its power over him. He's exhausted physically, but it's a dream: it suggests the spiritual anguish and energy he's expended here, and that now he's done wasting his energy on her.

I really feel for the final paragraph, for Alec. Even after reaching this catharsis, there are still questions he doesn't have the answers to, and no dream mother can give him those.

For me, the next person can talk about:

Summer Rain (fluffy, not really adult but has one kinda suggestive line)
OR Trust the Process (not adult but characters discuss whether a sculpture should be anatomically accurate)
OR Heaven (completely all-ages)

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