Cas' Memories

Happiness is not within her. Not the way it exists in others, how, when tended, it flowers for them, blooms with a joy that fills them with petals and sunlight. She has pawed at the dirt but found that something is missing.

But it's not unattainable. Happiness can be found in others, and she's been chasing its shadow since the moment she took her first steps into this world.

It's in him. In the smile that never leaves, the eyes filled with stars, the shoulder brushed reassuringly against hers or the wing draped over her back. In the way he waited for her when he could easily have left her behind, never moving on until she was safely by his side.

With him, in the briefest of moments, it felt like something was taking root inside her. Like that happy she felt could grow and thrive, like it could bloom one day on its own without him, like it could stay.

Now she can't even chase their shadows. They shift around her, spots of fading sunlight, pinpricks of stars out of reach. And she can no longer move.