Journal of a Noble Little Heart

I…really wish I could write about whatever the fuck happened during that mission because it went so fucking horrible. Oh my god. I don’t want to see ANYONE ever again.

I went to that mission with Siegfried & Franz, right? Well, it did go well…until we got to the armor. At first glance it looked like an Auspicious Armor, but it turned out to be a Malicious Armor coated like an Auspicious Armor. And, before Franz picked it up, we were able to read a bit more into that armor. It said something like…

“This armor belonged to an Armarouge who used his might & power to save the world from evil. But, in exchange for world peace, one had to be sacrificed to the darkness. And so, what previously was an Auspicious Armor turned into a Malicious Armor from evil taking the Armarouge away from the world.”

All three of us were unsure of what to do with it, but Franz thought that they still needed to pick the armor up to complete our mission, and so he did that…but then the dungeon we were inside started crumbling the moment we did that. All I remembered after that was losing grip of Siegfried, who was holding my hand as he tried to get us to safety. And, then, it was all blank…

I lost the memory of what had happened for a while, then remembered the horrible sight of blood in my hands, as well as Siegfried’s decapitated head & Franz’s remains. I was completely shocked as to what happened. Was it my doing? I wasn’t sure, but I was once again alone. My partner & my friend, gone. Gone because of me? Considering what happened after that incident, I wouldn’t be surprised.

It made me wish I could go back and refuse that mission. I shouldn’t have gone in if it was going to go wrong like this. I couldn’t express my love for Siegfried anymore, he was dead. I couldn’t tell Franz how grateful I was for having him as a friend. Siegfried & I had so many plans for the future, but now all of that is gone. And, I don’t think I can go back…like this.

I definitely evolved. But it wasn’t what I was hoping for. I shouldn’t complain about being a Ceruledge, but, yknow, I wanted to be an ARMAROUGE. NOT A CERULEDGE. FUCK.

Not only that, but I kind of figured out really quickly that I was the one who killed Siegfried & Franz, because shortly after I ran away from the dungeon that changed my entire life, I saw this Pidgey that stared at me as if I just killed someone (which I definitely did) and tried to escape. I would’ve let it escape normally, but instead, I noticed my teeth getting extremely sharp and I just grabbed the Pidgey with one of my blades before eating it like a chicken wing. AND EVEN WORSE, I THOUGHT IT WAS THE MOST DELICIOUS MEAL I’VE EVER HAD? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?

I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to write this much in my journal, but maybe one day there’s going to be a fix to all of this? For now I really can’t show myself anywhere though, everyone will want me gone after what I did to two of the most notable protectors…

I also don’t know how I should sign this. I don’t think it’s right to sign this with Aster anymore, because I sure as hell feel like a completely different Pokemon. I’m a Ceruledge. With cravings for other Pokemon in my mouth. That’s not Aster.

I guess I’ll name myself…uh…Demise? I did just cause the demise of two of my closest friends and also some random Pidgey, so it makes sense…I suppose.

- DEMISE