Journal of a Noble Little Heart
The Ceruledge cursed with lycanthropy, Demise, has always kept a journal on him even as a Charcadet to ramble about his dreams & aspirations. Nowadays, he uses it to weep about the many things he wished he could do but can't anymore due to his instabilty.
Entry #4 - Getting Stronger
It definitely feels nice to not be seen like a misfit whenever I’m at my job. I was always seen as someone who was a lot weaker and stranger than everyone else, and even those who are closest to me still keep a distance due to my weakness. At least I have big sis Azure, but I haven’t been able to see her as often lately because our schedules keep clashing. I go to Octavia’s during the day and big sis Azure goes hunting during the night. It sucks, really.
Though, I will say, I do really enjoy being with Octavia. She’s surprisingly super knowledgeable and I even accidentally saw her spar with Siegfried and she does a really good job! If only I could do something that cool…
But, yeah, I do feel happiest when I’m with Octavia and I think I’m feeling something more than being just friends? I’m not sure what kind of feeling that is.
On the other hand, I do also feel something similar with Siegfried. He might be a Gallade and one that’s still taller than me despite being smaller than the average, but his moves are always so precise & calculated…I’d like to be more like him too. We’ve been talking a lot more too, and he surprisingly has a lot of things in common with me. He was also judged a lot by his family for being smaller than the average, but unlike me, he actually managed to prove them wrong by being one of the most sought protectors around here. Though, Siegfried did mention that Franz was the one who gave him a lot of confidence, and unfortunately I don’t really..have that yet.
Oh, speaking of Franz, we managed to talk a bit more, and he’s quite precious once you get to know him a bit more! He talked about how he would take care of gardens outside of his job and that he eventually wants to open a local market, which I think is really cool…! He also taught me a trick or two and I think I’ve gotten a bit better with fighting, although I’m not sure how I feel about my strength.
When I tried training with both Siegfried & Franz, I was shocked by how weak my moves were, and while that made me sad, I really didn’t want to give up at all. I know exactly what I want to do: I want to be an Armarouge that protects everyone with my might! And, hearing that made the two of them want to train me, despite how much extra work they would need to do.
But they didn’t seem to mind, especially Siegfried who might have something for me…I’m not sure why, though. I’ll have to talk to him about it eventually.
But yeah! Having a great time at work, and I think I’m grateful that my family decided to send me there, although I have a bad feeling about it…Oh well, no matter! I won’t think about it so much!
- Aster