The 'Wildly Illogical' Collection

After what has likely been a night of debauchery, a lone man finds himself waking up facing the floor. Or rather, the dirt. The man picks himself up, muttering something along the lines of "Oh fuck, not again.."

His knees are clearly weak, his eyes bloodshot, his ears droopy and his tail between his legs. It would take the man a few more minutes to realize that cat tails shouldn't be doing that.

However, the moment he realizes his error and his equilibrium is restored, the contents of his stomach seem to be in disagreement, opting to leave his body in the upward rather than downward.

Another ten minutes pass, another comment about really, really not drinking that much ever again, the man begins to realize that that what previously occupied his stomach was on a dirt floor.. Not exactly the toilet stall tiles or bedroom floor he expected.

In fact where the flying fuck is he. He was sure he passed out in a bar with his friends, not in the middle of a forest. Aw crap.

After a handful minutes of screaming and panicking, the man finds his way OUT of the forest.. And in a grassy clearing. There's livestock nearby. And farms. Civilization! Not the civilization he had hoped for, but by the gods, civilization regardless!

Ofcourse, he spends very little time moving towards said farm, and knocks on the front door of the only building that seems like a house rather than a barn of sorts.. And the inhabitants open the door.

A woman, staring at him. Yelling something. A man appears and also stares. ".. I'm sorry, I had hoped I could inquire as to my whereabouts, but.. Do you even speak English?“

More yelling. The word English thrown about. No, that's not English. Sounds close, though. Almost German like but.. No, no, on second thought, very off. Oh, a teenager. The girl speaks up, in surprisingly good English, though very accented.

"My parents do not know how to speak English."

Our protagonist nods. "Ah, that explains a lot. Well, first off, allow me to apologize for the interruption and inconvenience." The girl turns around and translates? Probably? Ah, yes, the parents seem to be saying sorry and motioning something about it being ok..

"Now then.. My name is Zer Oshay. I wanted to ask you where in the world I currently am. This is clearly not Britain." The girl nods, translates to her parents, who look at each other seemingly confused, though also worried.

"You're in Holland. The Netherlands.. Still Europe, but across the pond." Ah, the Netherlands. Well, the man, known as Zer, nods and thinks to himself that it he always wanted to visit here.

"I am a little confused as to how I got here.. But at least it's not that far, haha.." He laughed sheepishly. "Now I uh.. I don't want to be a bother, but my phone seems to be out of commission and I doubt my pounds are worth anything here.. Might I use your phone to call home?.." He bit his lip, knowing this might get a no. A call to Britain might be a bit expensive.

But-! Lucky him. They seem to be alright with it. "Ah, thank you very much."

However, a moment later he doesn't feel so lucky. "What.. What do you mean, nobody by the name of Oshay lives there? Don't be daft, I double checked the number, my sister should be there. Who are you anyway? ... Hello? They.. Hung up?!"

What.. "Pardon, by the way, I was meaning to ask.." Hm? "Are those uh.. Real? I mean, did you wake up this morning with them?" Zer is taken aback. The girl seems to be staring at his ears. And sometimes his tail.

Sure, the trio was human, but why was a cat person odd to them? They seemed to accept it, but.. "No, I.. What do you mean this morning?"

"Ah, a lot of people woke up with animal ears today.. Apparently something happened last night.. It is a bit unbelievable, but there's people all over the world like you now, so I guess it really happened.."

Last night? But animal people lived alongside humans since the beginning of history.. Sure, he had a different problem, but.. "What? No, I've been like this since birth, sort of?"

The girl just looked confused. "But.. Nobody was like you yesterday.."

Huh?!