Support Your Local Mafia

2 years, 4 months ago
2 years, 4 months ago
3 8157

Chapter 1
Published 2 years, 4 months ago

The cast of SYOL decides to play a game of Mafia. What could possibly go wrong?? This is from 2013 but aside from various pronouns and personalities being outdated it's entirely canon and has had RP ramifications. It's great.

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As usual, Orange was the first to arrive. No one ever bothered to show up this early, but Orange couldn’t blame them. All-Conquering Overlord Hadris Torant was never on time for meetings (or anything, for that matter); as such, the majority of the Representatives took their time getting to them.

Things were a little different today, however. Orange had received a call from the overlord insisting he and the others attend a meeting at 4:30 sharp. The whole thing was rather short notice, but he didn’t do anything to indicate it was an emergency. Orange couldn’t recall any other time when something like this had happened. To be fair, though, he was having a hard time recalling anything. Yawning, he pulled out his phone to check the time. It was 4:14.

In the morning.

Orange was no stranger to waking up early, but 3:30 AM was a bit extreme. Honestly, he had contemplated just going back to bed, but the goody-two-shoes within him refused to allow it. So here he was, half-asleep in a dimly-lit conference room in the hours before dawn.

Just as he was beginning to descend into fantasies of coffee, someone entered the room. It was a tall, stern-looking elderly woman with a number of very visible robotic parts, posture flawless and expression stone-cold. She nodded to Orange as she entered.

”Good morning, Orange.” she greeted, seating herself a few chairs to his right.

”Good morning, Miss Polixe.” he greeted, unconsciously straightening himself out. Valence Polixe was the overlord’s head of defense, choosing to be at his side whenever she was able. She was also notoriously difficult to talk to, seeing no point in things such as small talk. Well aware of this, Orange let an awkward silence take control, trying to keep himself from fiddling with his phone or drumming his fingers on the table lest she scold him.

Orange got his hopes up when the next Representative entered, hoping it would be someone he could at least discuss the weather with. Unfortunately, said Representative was Elemon Ohod: a hulking man covered in strange symbols and cloaked in purple. He was an expert magician, rumored to be amongst the greatest in the universe. He was also an expert in being terrible in social situations, preferring to stand silently in a corner somewhere and wait until it’s socially acceptable to leave.

Nonetheless, Orange greeted him. It would be against his nature not to! ”Good morning, Mr. Ohod!”

”…You too.” he replied hastily, remaining where he stood for a moment as if mortified by his greeting. He resigned himself to it, seating himself a few seats to Orange’s left. Much to Orange’s relief, someone a bit more conversational entered before another awkward silence could set in.

”I certainly hope this is worth it. It’s far too early to be awake.” sighed LeFleuris de Floraize, running his fingers through his hair.

LeFleuris was the overlord’s advisor, and had somehow managed to become one of Orange’s closest friends. He honestly wasn’t really sure how it had happened, but at some point or another they had found themselves engaging in friendly banter on a regular basis. They were a rather bizarre pair: Orange was fiercely loyal to the overlord and strived to be as helpful as possible whereas LeFleuris was exceedingly shifty and ranked the importance of tasks by how much personal amusement they could potentially provide. Sometimes Orange wondered if they should consider the sitcom business. Sometimes Orange really needed to go to bed.

”Good morning, LeFleuris!” Orange greeted with a newfound sense of enthusiasm.

”Ah, Orange. I see you’re obscenely early as usual. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, but you really should be more considerate of your health.”

”Well, it’s not really that big of a deal!” Orange assured LeFleuris as he sat beside him, ”As long as you go to bed early, waking up early is a cinch!”

This was, of course, a lie. Orange had been up until one in the morning reading about fruit diseases. Did you know that fruits can have mineral deficiencies which are often mistaken as diseases to the untrained eye? Orange sure didn’t. Orange sure didn’t get any sleep, either, and he sure didn’t think waking up early was easy even when he did.

”I find that hard to believe. I don’t think any normal being is meant to be awake before the sun.” LeFleuris respectfully disagreed. Being part-plant, he was more sensitive to things like sunlight and temperature. During winter in particular he was prone to hibernating and being incredibly moody. Orange wished he had an excuse like that…

”Yeah, you’re probably right…”

”Good morning.”

Before they could continue their small talk, another Representative walked into the room. Mariellu was even more inhuman than LeFleuris, being some sort of humanoid bee. She was a frequent participant in the overlord’s more hostile takeovers, infamous for her contrasting personality: she was merciless and brutal, yet extremely curious about the cultural differences throughout the universe and fiercely loyal to the overlord to the point of excessive self-sacrifice.

”Good morning, Mariellu!” Orange greeted warmly as usual.

”…Good morning.” LeFleuris greeted quickly and laconically after a moment of hesitation, refusing to make eye contact. Mariellu stared at him as she sat almost directly across the table from the two. The two tended to be incredibly tense around each other, a tenseness he couldn’t quite label as hostility but found uncomfortable to be around nonetheless. Their relationship was likely another result of LeFleuris’ biology – he was a plant, she was an insect. Such a connection implied many implications, none of which Orange liked to spend time thinking about.

”Hello, everyone! I hope you’re all doing well this morning!”

Orange’s attention shifted to Merah Muda, the Representative who had just entered. He one-upped Mariellu’s inhumanity, being some sort of pink slime creature with horns and wings and tails and all sorts of other things that hardly belonged together on the framework of a young boy. Despite his… interesting appearance, he was relatively normal. Most of the time.

”Good morning, Merah! I’m doing fine, how about you?” Orange asked, relieved that there was finally someone here who was both talkative and awake.

”I’m wonderful, thanks for asking! The crossword puzzle in the newspaper was quite challenging, but I managed to finish it in less than a minute!” he answered as he seated himself next to Elemon. When he wasn’t solving puzzles at insane speeds, he was usually attempting to befriend Elemon. He wasn’t sure why a perky mutant would want to be best friends with a stoic magical boulder – the only explanation he really had was something he heard about Merah being attracted to magic – but Orange had seen weirder. In fact, he really wanted to be close friends with them all, himself! Still, they looked pretty odd side-by-side.

”That is good.” Elemon nodded, trying his best to be involved. Fortunately for him, another Representative interrupted them before the need arose for him to speak again.

”Yo, my friends, yo!” shouted The Hero, Chiro Shiroiro as he leapt into the room.

”What a morning, am I right? I hope you’ve all had a balanced breakfast and are ready for a day full of radical justice!” he beamed, striking a pose.

The Hero, Chiro Shiroiro – the name he insisted referring to himself with, though everyone else usually just stuck with “Chiro” – was a telekinetic man who used to be a superhero of some sort before joining the overlord. He was borderline obsessed with balance, though his idea of balance was far more complex than a 50-50 split of some sort. He was also a bit too fond of justice, which was bizarre since he was one of the evil overlord to end all evil overlords’ closest friends. Then there was the matter of his strange speech pattern, which was mostly formal with modern slang jarringly peppered in. Orange figured he wouldn’t get far trying to figure him out, not that he really had a need to, anyway.

”It’s certainly a morning, I’ll agree with that.” LeFleuris groaned, clearly bothered by Chiro’s booming enthusiasm so early in the day.

”Please refrain from despairing, dearest LeFleuris! You’ll jack up your lovely face with asymmetry!” Chiro warned, sounding like scolding mother.

”I’m afraid my despair is unavoidable. My face simply wasn’t meant to face the injustice of being awake before sunrise.”

”Did you just make a pun…?”

Before LeFleuris could confirm his comic brilliance, there was a loud clap of thunder. The group looked over at the entrance, where there stood a glowing man cloaked in black, white hair flowing in the dramatic wind that accompanied him. He gazed down at them all with stormy eyes, his aura cold and untouchable.

”Oh! Good morning, Amelano.”

”Good morning, Orange.” Amelano Vilifonz replied, quietly walking past Chiro as he sat a seat away from Merah. Chiro grinned and immediately took the space between the two, putting his arms around them both.

”Ah, how wonderful! A clusterfuck on my right, no offense–”

”None taken!”

”–And a wonderfully-balanced man on my left! Yes, I can definitely get with this layout!” Chiro nodded, satisfied.

”Hooray!” Merah cheered, much to LeFleuris’ annoyance. Amelano said nothing, as usual. He was a fallen angel prettyboy swordsman who was shrouded in mystery: his lack of response was nothing new.

”Brace for impact, everyone.”

Another Representative walked through the door, this time Venith Tobette: a part-deer woman who treasured grace and beauty. She took a sip of coffee as she calmly seated herself between Amelano and Mariellu, looking mildly annoyed.

”Did something happen?” Orange asked, already knowing the answer. Usually when someone said “brace for impact” around here, it meant–


”Something happened.”

Right through the wall came Lausac Pardes, Orange’s irresponsible friend who fortunately possessed the ability to phase through solid objects. Flann Fennella, the furious monster of a girl who followed him through the wall, however, did not.

”Oh, Lausac, what did you do now…?” Orange asked with a sigh as Lausac hid behind him, laughing too hard to answer.


”That’s not right, Lausac! Things like that are lewd, rude, and entirely inappropriate! How many times do we have to go over this?” Orange scolded, hands on his hips.

”Hey, hey, don’t be like that! I just wanted to make sure Flannie was on time!” he explained, the tone of his voice very clearly indicating otherwise.


”Would you mind eviscerating Lausac later? It’s far too early for this nonsense.” LeFleuris requested, on the verge of either snapping or collapsing. Maybe both.

”Though I despise the idea of siding with him, LeFleuris is right. The sun has yet to rise and the two of you have already managed property destruction.” Valence agreed. ”Seat yourselves at once and settle your immature problems after the meeting has concluded.”

”Yeah, Val’s got a point. Drew’s gonna be here any second now, Flannie. You should be grateful I picked you up in time!” Lausac said as smugly as possible as he took a seat next to Elemon. Flann continued seething for a moment, but eventually reverted back into her normal form: a demure girl with incredibly long, red hair.

Clad in nothing but a bath robe and slippers.

”Dammit, that’s not fair…” she huffed, face red due to a mixture of anger and embarrassment.

”Rest assured, I am not siding with him.” Valence continued, ”But his punishment can come after Hadris speaks with us.”

”…That’s a joke, right?”

”Justice is no joke!” Chiro spoke up.

”What up, bitches?! Septicemia in the house!”

Interrupting their conversation was Septicemia, perhaps the strangest Representative of them all. Her oddness didn’t lie in her appearance – she could pass as a normal human girl aside from some pitch-black limbs that were a bit too long – but rather in her personality. Septicemia had more personalities than could be counted, and switched between them without provocation or warning. This was a result of her being a vessel for otherworldly beings long ago, but Orange didn’t think that was an important story to think about right now.

Flann, who didn’t see Septicemia until she loudly announced her arrival, jumped.

”Oh, geez! You scared the hell out of me!”

”I-I’m so sorry! Oh God, what have I done?!” Septicemia panicked, gripping her head and attempting to pull her hair out.

”W-Wait, don’t do that! You just surprised me, that’s all!”

Septicemia calmed down, her expression suddenly cold and full of spite.

”Oh. I see how it is. You’re just gonna take back what you said, huh? Act like you can just change the past? Bet you think you’re some tough shit, you little bitch. Well, lemme tune you in to reality: you are! You’re sooooooo cool!” she squealed, switching personalities mid-sentence.

”R-Right… well, I wonder if there’s any time to go back and put my clothes back on…”

”Doubt it. If I’m here, Drew’s gonna be here any second.”

In walked Loligo Anuwau, the final Representative. Loligo was a woman with various fish parts and plenty of attitude. She always spoke her mind and seldom thought before doing so, leading to her being an incredibly abrasive but also incredibly honest person.

That’s what she wanted everyone to think, anyway. But that was another story Orange didn’t feel the need to recall right now. He instead looked at the clock, which now read 4:49. Time flies when you’re introducing characters!

”Oh boy, oh boy, Drew’s gonna be here soon! I’m so excited~!” Septicemia sang as she twirled over to Valence. She plopped down into the seat on her right, slouching the second she made contact with it. ”For another miserable meeting…”

”Buck up, kid! If Drew’s holdin’ a meeting this early, I bet it means we’re gonna be bashing in some skulls or somethin’.” Loligo assured her, taking the seat between her and Mariellu.

”Yes, I find it difficult to believe Lord Hadris would summon us all so early on such short notice unless it was a matter of importance.” Mariellu chimed in.

”I’m not sure… he didn’t really make it sound like it was an emergency. Plus, if it’s about a battle or something, I don’t think he would’ve invited me.” Orange pointed out, being the only one in the room who wasn’t a Representative.

The Representatives were people who particularly excelled in a certain element practiced by the overlord, and as such were personally chosen by him to be something like his personal assistants. They also happened to be his closest friends, but being a rather recent arrival Orange wasn’t quite sure which position came first. He supposed it didn’t really matter, especially since this train of thought was completely irrelevant to the matter at hand.

”I wouldn’t be so sure. I’m sure Hadris would be willing to invite you to just about any meeting.” LeFleuris disagreed.

”Y-You really think so?” Orange asked, honored at the idea.

”Guess we’ll just have to find out.” Flann shrugged as she decided to finally sit down somewhere. Sitting next to Lausac was the last thing she wanted to do, so she opted for the seat between Valence and LeFleuris. She squirmed under the latter’s gaze, hugging herself and glancing to the side.

”P-Please don’t look at me…”

Amused, LeFleuris turned his attention toward the clock, as the majority of the Representatives (and Orange) did.

And then, at precisely 4:54, he arrived.

In walked All-Conquering Overlord Hadris Torant: their unquestionable ruler with a penchant for conquest and never being on time. He was a towering figure with skin like space, flames for hair, crystalline horns, aquariums for eyes, an outfit that could barely pass for business casual, and a large cup of coffee.

”Good morning, everyone! Glad to see you’ve all made it here on such notice!” he greeted. Everyone returned “good mornings” of varying enthusiasms, the majority of them little more than disgruntled mumbles.

”All right, all right, I get it. It’s too early in the morning for a meeting. But I assure you, the content of this meeting will make it all…”

Hadris’ voice trailed off as he noticed the large hole in the wall beside him. He slowly looked toward Flann, who whispered ”sorry” before pointing at Lausac, who merely shrugged.

”…Well, I guess that’s nothing out of the ordinary. So let’s begin, shall we?”

Hadris took the remaining seat: the one between Orange and Lausac. Everyone stared at him expectedly as he finished his coffee, seeming to completely forget what he was doing.

”Umm… sir? I don’t mean to sound impatient, but I think you were about to start the meeting…” Orange reminded him gently after a minute of still silence had passed.

”Oh! Right, of course! Not enough coffee. Haven’t even hit a dozen yet…” Hadris laughed, instantly replacing his empty cup with a full one that was even larger.

”Then let’s get to it! As you know, yesterday I decided to visit some friends of mine to discuss some private matters. Once we dealt with those – none of which are particularly important right now – get this…”

He leaned in close, prompting everyone else to do the same. Orange was beginning to feel nervous. The last time he started a story like this, it ended with everyone playing strip poker.

Orange would never forget that night.

”…We played this exciting new game called Mafia!”

”A game.” Valence echoed, trying to hold back the exasperation in her voice.

”That’s right! A game! See, there are two different groups: the villagers and the mafia. Each night the mafia kills someone, and then in the morning the villagers lynch someone in hopes of eliminating the mafia. Exciting, right?”

”That sounds really violent…” Merah frowned, nervous.

”Fear not! There isn’t any actual killing involved.” Hadris assured him.

”Damn, there goes my interest…” Lausac grumbled.

Orange’s interest, however, was still very much piqued. He had played Mafia a few times back in school, but that was so long ago and he had never been any good at it. For some reason, he was really good at dying. But he was older now: smarter, stronger, more of a protagonist. This was his chance!

LeFleuris raised an eyebrow, not surprised but still somewhat in disbelief. ”So you woke us all up at three in the morning… to play a party game?”


”All right!” Septicemia grinned, pounding her hands together. ”Then let’s do it! I’ll kick all of your asses! I-If that’s okay with you, I mean…”

”Hmm… I have a question.” Venith spoke up.


”This is a game of winning and losing, correct? If that is the case… are there prizes involved? Or consequences?” she asked.

”Of course! You know me all too well. Anyone who survives until the end will be rewarded, and anyone who doesn’t… well, there will definitely be consequences involved.” Hadris confirmed, steepling his fingers and barely managing to hold back an evil laugh.

”L-Like what?” Flann gulped.

”Well, for one, if you don’t win then I fully expect you and Lausac to have that wall repaired by tomorrow.”

”Whoa, whoa! I’m not even the one who broke it!” Lausac defended.

”Noooo! I don’t want to have to work with him!” Flann cried.

”Then I highly recommend victory! I assure you that there’s far more on the line than you’ll be willing to lose!”

Orange swallowed hard. Whenever they all got together to play games or even just do team-building exercises, the stakes were always so high. What if his job was on the line? Or his paycheck, or even his life? What if his minifridges were on the line?! He could hardly bear the thought!

”So let’s go over the rules, shall we? We’ll be operating on a ratio to one maf – cute nickname there, right? – for every three villagers. That means we’ll have four mafs and nine innocents. But it doesn’t end there! There are four special roles: the insane spy, the sane spy, the doctor, and the vigilante. Note that everyone’s been assigned a role randomly – no one’s a certain role because I think they’d be entertaining in it or anything like that!” Hadris began.

”So every night, the spies can each spy on someone to see if they’re in the mafia or if they’re innocent. The next day they can choose to withhold or reveal what they’ve learned. The catch is that the insane spy will always see people as the opposite of what they are – and there’s no way to tell which spy is which until you’ve offed someone they’ve spied on! Pretty fun, right?”

”Hmm, a balance of madness and sanity…I like it!” Chiro approved.

”The doctor, meanwhile, can protect someone over the night and prevent them from being killed by the mafia or the vigilante. And on that note, the vigilante is a character sided with the villagers that can kill someone overnight as well, but only twice! And they don’t know anyone’s alignment, so they might end up killing one of their allies! It’s a pretty intense job.”

With a snap of his fingers, everyone in the room found a notecard floating in front of them. Before Orange could register what his said, Hadris spoke up again.

”Peeking is an offense punishable by death, by the way!”

Needless to say, Orange kept his eyes firmly locked on his own card. He wasn’t really surprised by what it said. He was never anything but a vanilla villager, but maybe that wasn’t a bad thing. He had a better chance of surviving like this, especially since now he was among a group of professional villains instead of a bunch of grade-schoolers.

Somehow, that made sense to him.

”All right, I hope you’ve memorized your roles! If you’re anything but a normal villager, I’ll talk to you more ‘tonight’.” Hadris said, complete with air quotes. Just like that, the cards vanished into thin air.

Everyone in the room began to glance suspiciously at each other. Who to lynch? Who to assassinate? Who to protect? They each had something or another on the line – they didn’t know what, but there was certainly something – and that was all the motivation any of them needed.

”We’ll begin at day, meaning the game starts with all of you deciding to lynch someone! That means you have no evidence to work with… which should make your accusations all the more amusing! So, let’s begin!”

Orange straightened himself out, fierce and ready. As a relatively average teenaged boy with a prominent ahoge and the designation of protagonist, Orange knew it was up to him to uncover the truth and reach victory… or at least stay alive for as long as possible!