Support Your Local Mafia

Orange heard a number of gasps around the room. Valence was gone. The most competent person in the room had been kicked out of the game.

”All right, Drew. What was she?” Loligo asked as she leaned back in her chair, voice completely devoid of any concern.

”Jumping right back into it, huh?” Lausac muttered, eyes narrowing.

”You got a problem with that?” Loligo scowled.

”Please, can we not resort to this idiocy again? Did we not agree that arguing over such meager scraps is pointless and, more importantly, obnoxious?” Venith groaned, rubbing her temples.

”I agree.” Mariellu nodded. ”It is a new day, and as such we have data to work with now. So, milord, if you would…”

Hadris put down his cup of coffee, which looked even larger than the one before it. Orange was concerned that Hadris’ increasingly larger coffee cups would become a running gag, leaving Hadris with dangerously high caffeine levels. He could have a heart attack! That would be terrible. He could also hyperactively destroy everything around him. That would also be terrible. And with coffee prices the way they were, he’d be broke!

”Alright then, glad we’re back on track here! Valence was a villager. Just a plain ol’ normal villager.” he informed them, his voice suddenly turning serious and borderline spiteful. ”And you all just let her die.”

Before Orange could feel guilty for too long, Hadris just spoke up. ”Ha! Just kidding! It’s just a game!” he laughed heartily. ”Well, probably. Anyway, on to the discussing!”

Orange was mostly used to Hadris incredible tone-shifting abilities, but he still couldn’t get the lump out of his throat. If the losers were immediately killed, it wouldn’t surprise him even though he had known Hadris long enough to trust him. Even if the losers survived to see another day, the consequences had to be dire as Hadris had implied earlier. He had visions of his paycheck flying away, crying out for him…

Orange was still very tired.

”What of the vigilante?” Elemon spoke up, much to Orange’s surprise. It was a valid question, but Elemon seldom spoke without being spoken to first. If Orange hadn’t already believed this game was serious business, he would have believed it now. ”Did they not commit a murder?”

”Or maybe the mafia decided not to kill anyone!” Merah suggested hopefully.

Loligo shot him down harshly, ”That’s fucking stupid. Why wouldn’t the mafia kill anyone? Not like there’s any risk for them.”

”You don’t need to be so mean, geez!” Flann huffed, sending Merah a sympathetic look. He didn’t seem to be terribly shaken by Loligo’s attitude. Given that they were around each other often, it was more likely than not that he was used to it.

Desperate to change the atmosphere, Orange decided to get back into the game. ”It makes sense that the vigilante didn’t go after anyone. At this point in the game, there’s more of a risk that they’d accidentally kill someone on their side.” he explained.

”Well, wait, isn’t it possible that the vigilante tried to kill someone and the doctor protected them?” Flann asked, the theoretical lightbulb over her head almost visible.

”Negatory!” Hadris cut in. ”If the doctor ends up saving someone’s life, I’ll tell you!”

”How kind of you.” LeFleuris smiled. ”Now that that matter is out of the way, how about we get to the heart of the matter, hm? Why would the mafia kill Valence?”

”What, it’s not obvious? She’s zero fun and she’s smart I guess. Why wouldn’t mafia kill her?” Lausac answered.

Flann glanced away. ”You sure seem to know a lot about what the mafia would think…”

”And you sure know how to be annoying and stupid.”

Sensing the direction the conversation was going, Amelano deemed the situation worthy of interruption.

”You simpletons. He was implying at least one person in the mafia must have some sort of grudge against her.” he scoffed.

”But that’s fuckin’ stupid.” Loligo began, eyebrow raised, ”’Cause everyone and their grandma knows LeFleuris hates Valence. So why the fuck would he bring it up? He’s dumb, but not that kind of dumb.”

”Uh, duh? That’s the point! He’s playing mind games with us. Trying to fuck us up so we kill each other. He’s maf. Let’s lynch him.” Lausac concluded.

”My, my, you have this case all wrapped up, don’t you?” LeFleuris teased him, grin never faltering.

”Geez, let it go, won’t you? You’re the one that looks guilty here.” Flann sighed. ”Why don’t you just give up and admit you’re maf, huh?”

”Pretty suspicious of you to be so suspicious of him being suspicious of Lausac…” Chiro snickered.

Merah smiled and quickly joined in, ”Which would make you suspicious for being suspicious of Flann for being suspicious of Lausac for being suspicious of-“

”Stop!” Venith shouted desperately, much to everyone’s alarm. Always concerned with grace and delicacy, Venith was never one to raise her voice. Not that Orange blamed her, though he personally preferred to solve such matters by crying and eating ice cream in bed internally until the problem went away.

”Is it so much to ask for that we not devolve into this nonsense over and over? Is it so much to ask that we thoroughly investigate the evidence we have?”

”I agree. This childish nonsense is beginning to anger me. One can only tolerate so much foolishness.” Amelano frowned.

”All right, everyone, you heard the No-Fun Law Enforcement Officers! We really should investigate more logical stuff and things.” Chiro agreed despite being the one who brought the issue back up.

”It’s not like we have much more to go off of.” Orange admitted, relieved he didn’t have to wrestle with his desires to eat internal ice cream. ”Sure, Valence is… err, dead, but that doesn’t give us much.”

”What, you’re telling me that doesn’t obviously pin LeFleuris as maf?” Lausac said skeptically.

”Well, think about it. She makes the most sense as a target, doesn’t she? A lot of us have a lot of… creative differences with her, she’s intelligent, and she’s good at keeping things managed.” Orange continued.

”Sooo… you’re maf, then.”

”That’s… not what I was trying to say…”

”And so our answer is that it could have been any of us.” LeFleuris shrugged, seeming to revel in the frustrations of everyone else, ”And that we’re back to square one. What fun!”

Loligo rolled her eyes, ”Yeah, that’s a word for it.”

Merah attempted to drum up some sort of progress, ”So, what do we do? It probably isn’t a good idea to not lynch anyone since we’re down two innocents, right? Do we just randomly pick someone off, or…?”

”Hey, what about the spy?” Merah exclaimed, excited. ”Couldn’t the other spy give us some kind of hint?”

”They certainly could,” LeFleuris confirmed, watching the hope rise in Merah’s expression before moving in to crush it, ”But that would be terribly unwise. After all, if the spy admits they’re the spy they invite themselves to be murdered in the middle of the night. Their loss aside, that means they can’t subtly use their knowledge to guide the others to those in the mafia any longer. It’s terrible for everyone, really.”

”Unless the doctor protects them.” Mariellu quickly pointed out.

”Oh, of course.” LeFleuris acknowledged. The world seemed to stop for a brief moment, returning slowly as LeFleuris leaned forward. Orange knew the look on his face well. Things were going precisely the way he wanted them to. ”Though that puts the doctor at risk, doesn’t it? And the spy certainly can’t hope the doctor will protect them if they don’t speak up at all. And wouldn’t it be simple to just claim to be the spy but in reality be a member of the mafia?”

”Then I will prove my worth.” Mariellu asserted, admitting to being the spy. Or, at least, claiming to be the spy. ”I hope the doctor will trust in me and protect me, but I cannot blame them if they do not. But I will divulge what I have learned for the sake of furthering the game.”

”Thank you.” Venith sighed with relief, taking another sip of tea.

”During the night session I learned that Elemon is innocent.” she informed them. Orange immediately looked to Elemon for a reaction, but he didn’t notice any change. He was disappointed he couldn’t see any sort of tell, but he wasn’t surprised. Elemon wasn’t a very expressive person. Orange almost felt embarrassed for trying.

”Which means nothing, of course. For now.” LeFleuris added on.

”Because we don’t know which spy she is?” Flann asked.

”And ‘cause Mari might just be obfuscating her true position, attempting to lead us to believe she is a spy in order to gain our trust and totally screw with us!” Chiro reminded her.

”I understand your concerns. All I ask is that I be trusted for one night.” Mariellu requested firmly.

”Wait, wait, there’s two kinds of spies, right?” Lausac butted in, confused. ”So for all we know she could be the insane one and Elemon is actually maf?”

”Correct. That is why I asked to be trusted, so that we may determine what manner of spy I am in the next period.” Mariellu explained.

”Which could mean nothing, of course.” LeFleuris continued, twirling his hair around his fingers at an increasing speed. ”If it turns out Elemon really was innocent, that could have either been a lucky guess or an intentional attempt to sabotage us. If he’s part of the mafia, that’s all well and good but there’s nothing to confirm she wasn’t just guessing. If he’s actually one of the special roles, then it’s clear that she completely lied.”

Loligo was looking pretty bored by now, clearly eager to hurry up and just lynch one of her co-workers. ”What, you sayin’ we should off Mari then?”

”Not at all.” LeFleuris smiled. ”Just some food for thought.”

Flann thought for a moment before speaking up again, ”I… I think we should trust her. No one else has claimed to be the spy, so maybe she’s really telling the truth, you know?”

”Or maybe you’re both maf and you’re trying to cover for h-“

Lausac stopped in the middle of his sentence, silenced by the dirtiest look Orange had ever seen Venith give anyone.

”…All right, I’m with Flannie.”

There were a number of nods around the room, including from Orange himself. Sure, Mariellu could have been lying to them all, but he didn’t think she was the kind of person to do something like that. If anyone was going to lie about being the spy, it would probably be someone like Lausac or Loligo. Of course, maybe that’s what Mariellu wanted everyone to think, but all of this weird game logic was making Orange take a second look at that internal ice cream.

”W-Wait! Shouldn’t we hear what Elemon has to say?” Merah frowned, breaking out the puppy eyes. He and Elemon were friends – or close enough to it – so Merah jumping to Elemon’s defense was nothing particularly shocking.

LeFleuris, who had quickly and effortlessly slipped to the side of trusting Mariellu, shrugged slightly. ”I believe we’re all relatively set on our decision, but go ahead.”

Elemon was dead silent for a few seconds, looking down briefly before fidgeting out of what seemed to be discomfort.

”I do not mind it. I… am not one who comprehends the enjoyability of such games, anyway. If my sacrifice serves others, who am I to dodge fate?” he finally responded.

”All right!” Loligo cheered, ”Let’s kill ‘im!”

Hadris threw his empty coffee cup behind him. Or, at least, Orange hoped it was empty. These carpets were too nice to be stained! ”Fantastic! The majority’s in agreement, then?”

Orange followed Hadris’ gaze after confirming there was no coffee embedding itself in the carpet. Everyone nodded or otherwise indicated their approval, though Merah did so reluctantly.

”Wonderful!” Hadris clapped, turning to Elemon, ”Then it’s time for you to die!”

Hadris snapped, and as had happened with Septicemia, the floor opened beneath Elemon and swallowed him whole. After a silent pause, an empty chair rose up and took his place. Orange and the others immediately turned to Hadris, who was sure to answer the question on their minds as quickly as possible.

”Congratulations, everyone! You’ve killed off your first mafia member!”

Orange smiled. They did it! One down, three to go! Maybe there was hope yet! Or maybe they would proceed to never kill another member of the mafia again, but still!

”Ah, I see. Then this would make me the insane s-“

Mariellu’s thought was interrupted by everyone abruptly blacking out again. As Orange came to, rubbing his aching head, he noticed the lack of motion beside him. He shot up and looked to his right, noticing two empty seats. LeFleuris and Flann were dead.

Hadris, having gained a slightly larger coffee cup, greeted them all with some pleasant news as they awoke and registered the deaths of the previous night.

”Good morning, and great job! Two more vanilla villagers are dead!”

What a coincidence, Orange thought. His internal ice cream was vanilla-flavored.