You a Fake, Jake?!

For the knight quest: Lone Patrol

758 words (excluding headlines)

Chasin' lights with no fear

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It was a dark night when within dimmer underground mining paths, a bearded pouflon flew through. "HEY!" Jake chased a fleeing set of floating candles down so many rocky slopes, he wanted a job in spelunking at this point! "Running away from a guard only makes you be chased more!!"

There were two angry loupines locking their jaws on his long tail, and yet Jake found it necessary to chase this person blindly through a endless swirl of damp roads surrounded by rock walls. Those giant wings of Jake's somehow kept working despite a chexen friends with the loupines biting down on them, and Jake was using every last bit of flight expertise to keep up with this suspect. He had been tracking this bad boy for about two miles down Bridge End Mines, and Jake would've kept reading the letters he entered the mines to find hadn't his source of light to read started running away from him.

Who knew some collection of wax could be an expert at tag? Jake could hear Minuet keeping up with him saying words Jake didn't care to hear, but Jake just kept on flying. Forget doing Minuet a favor and investigating those caves for more letters about Nathaniel the both of them were hooked on-- Jake needed to catch himself some new decor for his house Pasta gave him!

"Jake!" Minuet's cries echoed behind the determined pouflon. "Jake! We cannot find the writer of these letters if you keep ignoring my instructions..." That breath was a waste as Jake completely lost track of Minuet at last.

"Where my candles at?!"

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Ugh, Menu sure do know how to give a pouf a real bad headache. Along with other disapproving thoughts about Minuet, Jake's mind was overtaken by that irritating tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Starfall Minuet was humming earlier. It made tail yanking agony more agonizing, and all this aggravation fueled Jake to track down those tiny flames into the deep dark unknown!

At the end of the tunnel Jake turned down, a giant pouflon blocked Jake's landing sprint, and the pouflon's unmoved person smacked the daylights out of Jake when he crashed into them. "AAGHWAH!!" Jake cried while slowly rolling over to recover from his awful fall. The loupines and chexen remain unscathed and ran up to Jake's hair to yank the ends.

"Alright cut the act, what stolen set of treasures are you guarding? To chase someone all this way pretending to be a guard can get you in some big trouble," the blocking pouflon asked.

"What the heck, pouf?! Who the HECK YOU CALLING A FAKE?!" Jake hollered and pulled himself off the cold floor with his new pippet hair accessories. He was just about ready to sock this jokester in the snout when he saw a badge. "Hey... brick wall... You a coward or something?"

"A coward?" the red pouflon sneered and gave Jake a more serious look.

"Yeah, you supposed to be watching over this place, and you over here running away from a REAL guard! You sure you're a guard?"

"I am very sure I'm a guard-- do you know anything about strategy, rookie?" the red pouflon started lecturing. "If you've ever been in these caves, you'd know the bandits here are exceedingly aggressive. Best way to know they're a bandit is them chasing regular civilians through as if they're a part of the guard. Look like a normal citizen, and you'll have those criminals running right up to you. Not many other guards are stationed here because of how dangerous it is," with a darkened leer, the red pouflon continued, "so I have to ask. Who gave you authority to guard here?"

This rude lantern

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This whole time Jake listened to this guy dragging Jake's meaning of knighthood through the dirt by DARE calling him a rookie, Jake was staring up at those candles. "Ey, why you wearing some candles as a hat? You look goofy, no offense."

"Those are my horns, cheat shot."

"Okay, I see. You embarrassed you broke your horns off somewhere and are trying to cover it up with some candles, I get it. Can you fly?"

The red pouflon's expression became more unimpressed, and the only light in that cave went out. Those candles were no longer lit, and nothing, absolutely nothing could be seen.

"AHH, HEY! WHY YOU SNUFF THEM CANDLES OUT?! YOU BETTER HAVE A MATCH ON YOU TO LIGHT THEM UP OR--" Jake's shouts got interrupted by what he thought was the clicking of hooves walking off. "EY!! DON'T YOU LEAVE ME HERE!!!!"