Prompt Shop Bop

"Forever Young" - Kubariki

by John De Sohn

"'Cause we got one life, one life to live"

Ironically enough, Kubariki does believe what everyone has been telling him about living one life, but he disagrees on how that can be applied. They all see it as some justification for forgetting about Hadithi, but Kubariki just feels like it's even more of a reason that he should throw everything away to try and find out what happened to her. If he believed it more strongly, perhaps he'd even go through with such a plan, but he cannot bring himself to give up on his pridemates or the Isle of Roses. Though most believe only having one life justifies going after whatever you want and trying to be as happy as possible, at least from what Kubariki has seen and heard, he believes that it justifies the opposite. If you only have one chance, then you should do the right thing, no matter how hard or miserable it makes you, because otherwise, you're destined to have regrets. And maybe he'll still have regrets this way, but he's certain he'll have much less doing what is demanded of him, no matter how hard it proves to be and how much it goes against his innate desire. Since losing Hadithi, Kubariki has matured, but he's matured in such a fashion that it's almost as if he lost the happier side of himself. Though he can still be cheerful and joke around, he has grown much more distant, often isolating himself from the rest of the pride. He has blocked himself from any truly emotional attachments, though only the most perceptive in the pride, like his mother, Cheka, have noticed, and they do not bring it up for fear of making it worse. They do not want him to pull away the way some of the pride members, like Jino, have, but they don't know what could be causing it. They don't understand that the mantra they consistently told him has essentially destroyed him, because when that was combined with the loss of his best friend, Kubariki coped the best way he could with no one to turn to. Needless to say, it wasn't the healthiest coping mechanism, but it was the only thing Kubariki could think to do. He only has this one life to live, and he will do what he needs to do so he can be remembered as doing what was right, even if everything inside of him screams for him to throw it away and find the happiness that he is looking for, that he craves.

"And as the days and nights go by"

It has been a long time since Kubariki was a cub. He has grown older, smarter...and lonelier. Days and nights go by, but in spite of that, Kubariki's memories of Hadithi have not faded, and his feelings have not grown any less intense. If anything, his attachment to his childhood best friend has only grown stronger as he grows more and more isolated from the rest of his pride, who he feels can't even bother to understand the pain he's going through. Many have suffered losses, of course, but they all got closure that Kubariki never got. They all got to know what happened to their family and loved ones, or actively made the choice that ultimately led to them not getting to officially know. Kubariki, however, didn't get that. Instead, he has been left to dwell on what happened as time goes by, consistently tormented by what-if scenarios as he wonders if there is anything he could have done differently to change the outcome of his best friend's story, of his story. Kubariki constantly finds himself wondering what Hadithi would like now; would she be the same spunky cub she always was? Would she have changed to be more mature, or goofier? Would they even still get along as well as they had as cubs, or would they have drifted apart and just become casual pridemates? Even worse, would have ended up hating each other? If she hadn't gone missing, would he have disappeared instead? If, somehow, she's still out there, does she remember him? Does she think about him as much as he thinks about her? If she is still out there, why hasn't she come back? Why did she leave in the first place? It's all too much for Kubariki to process at one time, but he's had plenty of time to think over every little detail. He's thought over every situation so far, every what-if scenario that his brain can throw at him.

"I never forget, I'll promise I'll remember"

No matter what everyone tells him, Kubariki refuses to forget Hadithi and what exactly she meant to him. Furthermore, he refuses to forget the promise he made to her. Kubariki knows he will be expected to have Heirs of his own one day, but it doesn't feel right to him. After all, he made a promise to Hadithi that she would be his Queen. If he chooses someone else, is that a betrayal to her? If she's dead, it wouldn't be, but though Kubariki has tried to accept that fact, he still feels like she could be out there. What if she came back, only to see he'd moved on and completely ignored the promise he made to her back then? He can't bare the idea of that happening, and so refuses to think about what he'll do when he is expected to carry on his father's bloodline to lead the pride once Kubariki himself passes away. He's got time to figure that out, doesn't he? He's got plenty of time. At least, he hopes he does. No matter what everyone tells him, Kubariki won't forget what Hadithi meant to him, because even if she's dead, it is a disservice to their friendship to just move on and pretend that she never existed. She meant more to him than almost anyone else in the world; in fact, she just might have meant more to him than anyone, even his parents, though Kubariki can't be certain, since he was so young when he lost her. Still, he refuses to forget the short time they did spend together, and if that means he's miserable, so be it. Kubariki promised himself once that he would not give up on Hadithi and forget her, and he will keep that promise, even if it means he never loves again.